about

Hi I'm Dee. I'm 23 and married. I've worked in health care as well as office settings but am now a home-maker. I'm knowledgeable in a variety of subjects but don't mind doing a little research if asked about something I don't know about. Most of my friends come to me for advice. I read several advice columns and would like to help you also.

I'm not judgemental. Your life is yours to live it as you choose. I believe asking for advice is good, but ultimately the choice is yours. You WILL NOT find a hurtful or smartass answer here.

If you have a question that you would like to keep private, you can email me and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

advice

ok i started BC about 2weeks ago. i went to the gyn and i was on day 2 of my period and he told me to go ahead and start taken it. well i started taken it and then when i got off the period the dry/brown blood came out put i'm still having it come out it's not as heavy as it was when i 1st got off my period but i still have it. i haven't called my docotor yet i was going to wait a while before i did. jsut to see if it would stop. i haven't had sex in 3months and me and my boyfriend want to this weekend. so would be ok to have sex firday? and aslso do you have any clue why i would still be having brown bleeding//i should be starting my period in about 2weeks or so. this is my 1st time starting BD also

Sometimes with birth control, you'll have some break-through bleeding while your body adjusts to it. It may take a couple cycles of the birth control before you're fully regular. I would call your doctor just to be sure, but chances are, it's completely normal.

I would hold off on having sex right away. One, if you're still bleeding, it's going to be awkward and messy. Two, it's generally recommended that you give the birth control one full cycle before having sex.

If you do decide to have sex, I would suggest still using a condom. While birth control does cut down on your chances of pregnancy, it isn't fool-proof and it does not protect against STDs.

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Hi,

I am a software programmer working on Unix, C, C++. How can I increase my income using some of my skills? I am not looking for a fulltime job. Just something extra that I can do in my home.

Thanks,
Ashish

Do a search for work-at-home jobs. It will pull up a bunch of sites for you. Most of them have job listings in about anything you can imagine. Just search for the one that interests you and apply.

Good luck.

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hey, this is kindof an awkword question, but I want to ask somebody thats older then me and has had more experience... and you seem like that person:o) I've had sex before acouple of times and I want to know.. is the girl supposed to be doing anything? I mean, if their not ontop? and if they are... what? sorry if this is to personal or weird and if you dont want to answer I'd understand.. thanks

It's really a matter of preference and what you feel comfortable with. Try rubbing your partner's back or running your fingers through his hair. You can also stare deep into their eyes or pull them down for a kiss.

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i started my period a few months ago but i cant put tampons in because it hurts so is that normal or...?? i dont know im confused

Some women just have problems using tampons. I would suggest trying a slimfit tampon with a plastic applicator. Also, try to relax. If you're at all tense, your body tenses inside too. If you still can't use a slimfit, I would give it a while before trying again.

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I`m a straight A student. Last week I grabbed the wrong composition notebook so I wasn`t able to turn in my weekly D.O.G Work. My teacher refused to take it when I turned it in late for half credit. I told her today I admit I made a mistake and asked if there was anything I could do. ( my grade was a 96 but since I didn`t turn it down it went to a 71%) She yelled at me, Told me she wouldn`t grade any crap that I would do to get extra credit, laughed in my face, and completly insulted me ( and made me cry ; I don`t cry easily ) in front of the whole class. Now getting a C wouldn`t upset me, however if I don`t get 98 or above on ALL my papers/projects/tests from now on that grade could easily fall to an F and I would be kicked off of the cheerleading squad and lose my Captain position. What do I do ? I Have no hope of getting any sorta extra credit ; progress reports come out on this coming Monday and my coach always does grade checks.
PLEASE HELP ME.

I would talk to the principal or your school counselor. See if you can get someone else in the class to go with you to back up your story. What she did and said is very unprofessional.

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I am trying to get my picture in my advice column but all i have is a box with an X what do i need to do?

Click profile settings on the left hand column of the page. When the settings page loads, scroll down and you should see where you can upload a picture from your computer. When you finish uploading your picture, scroll to the bottom of the settings page and click submit to save the settings.

Just remember that uploaded pictures have to be under 15k in size. If your picture is too big, there's instructions on how to resize it in the FAQ.
http://www.advicenators.com/faq.php?f=36

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Okay me and my boyfriend were together for about three years, he is 20 and im 18. We were friends for two years before we dated anyways. we broke up because we had respect issues and didnt agree on certain things in the future. he tried getting me back many times...but about three weeks ago he finally gave up. a week ago i saw he had made a myspace...and is now talking to so many girls and gettin their numbers and meeting them up. its really heartbreaking for me because we've only been broken up for about three months max and hes already moved on and talking to all these girls...and im constantly sad now.
how can i move on...not miss him...not be hurt? and i cant stop myself from not going on his myspace cause i get curious of who hes talkin to...help me! i wanna get over him! and plz dont suggest..sleeping with someone else for now cause im not like that.

It's difficult letting go of a relationship, especially if you've been together for a while. Take some time for yourself to let your heart heal. Whenever you're tempted to check his myspace, remind yourself of the reasons you split. Do things to remind yourself of why being single is fun. Hang out with your friends. Take up a new hobby. Do all the things that you couldn't do while you were with him. There's no cure for getting over someone other than time. I wish I could offer you more.

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I was looking through a few questions on religion (Not a darn clue why, I just was) and I was reading a question about a girl who wanted to become Buddist.

An answer she recieved made me a little upset. This person that answered kept saying how she was choosing the wrong religion and that being Buddist is wrong.

I've noticed things like this before, strong Christians (yes, it is mostly Christians) criticizing other religions. They will rant on and on about how it's the wrong religion.

What is so wrong with believing in Buddah? Why do you have to criticize people who do not believe in God? We have the right to choose our religion and the right to choose no religion at all.

Why do you believe that your religion is the only "right" religion? This has been bothering me for a while.

I really don't want any Christians on this site to feel that I am directing this ONLY at you. But what I've seen on this site about 90% of the people criticizing people for their religion are strong Christians. So, I'm just basing my question on the majority.

I'm sorry if this question has offended anyone.

There is nothing wrong with believing in Buddha. We each have the right to choose the religion, or absence of religion, that we feel is best for us.

Religion tends to be a touchy subject. There are some that believe their religion is the only one and attempt to convert everyone else. While
I do believe in teaching others about my religion if they're interested, I don't think it does a lot of good if it is pushed on someone. To me, a person isn't going to learn unless they're open to the idea to begin with.

I have a friend who I adore except for the fact that she feels her religion is superior. For the sake of our friendship, we simply agreed that we were each entitled to our own opinion and unless the other asked specifically, the subject wouldn't be brought up.

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ok i just took a pregnancy test and it was positive!im only 16 years old:(i dont want to tell my parents because they said if i ever get pregeat at a young age they will kick me out of the house!!!!i dont know what to do!plzzzz help

First, you need to go to the doctor to make sure you are pregnant. For the most part, home pregnancy tests are accurate, but there is a slight chance it was off. Also, if you are pregnant, you need to get started with prenatal care ASAP. If you can't afford the doctor, go to the health department or planned parenthood.

I would sit down with your parents and calmly tell them. Like younggrandma said, they most likely said that they would kick you out to try to discourage you from it. Realize that they're probably going to be a little upset and shocked to start with. My parents said something similar, but when my sister got pregnant at 15, they were great about it once they got over the shock.

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I have a '05 mustang GT and I wont let anyone drive it. I don't even let my best friend who I've known since we were 3 drive it. But, apparently, my bf thinks he should be an acceptation.


We were supposed to go to a concert last night. Well, he called me up and told me that we can't take his car because he didn't have any gas and we were running late. I told him that I didn't want to take my car because the concert was in a different city and I didn't know how to get there. He gets very irritated when he has to tell someone where to go when they are driving. So, me driving was not an option.


He then suggested that he drives my car. I said no. He asked why not and I told him what I always tell him, no one drives my car.


I said that I'd even pay for the gas and that I didn't care if we were a few min. late.


He didn't pay attention to that and got all upset because I wouldn't let him drive. We ended up in an argument and didn't go to the concert.


I have my reasons for not letting my friends drive my car. Most of which is because most of them are not responsible drivers. So I don't see why my bf feels that he should be an acceptation. I'm not going to let him drive it and I'm not going to apologize. Should I just wait until he comes around?

He may not come around. I would stick to your guns on the issue though. Your safety is important and getting in a car with an inexperienced driver can put you in danger. I just lost a friend last week because he got in the car with someone who wasn't experienced driving.

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Im 16 and scard! When I start using the Nuva Ring it was after the first day I started my period, I end up staying on my period for 28 days (bleeding for 28 days). You are supose to stay on no longer that 5-8 days.Does that mean I'm pregnant and losing the baby? If you are pregnant and by not knowing you use the new Nuva Ring (birthcontrol)? Will you lose the baby if theres one?

You shouldn't be bleeding for 28 days. I'm not sure that's a sign of pregnancy or miscarriage though. I would suggest talking to your ob/gyn as soon as possible. Bleeding for that long isn't normal. It's best to be checked out just to make sure something else isn't wrong. If you're having pregnancy symptoms, I would suggest telling your doctor so they can test.

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i was wondering if excessive vaginal discharge and smellier discharge could be a sign of pregnancy..im 3 days late on my period, thanks!

A smelly discharge usually isn't a sign of pregnancy. It sounds more like you have an infection. If you're having other pregnancy symptoms, I would suggest taking a pregnancy test to be sure. I would see the doctor about the discharge. If you do have an infection, they can prescribe antibiotics to help clear it up.

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Hi
Has nayone ever gotten a Pap Smear(sp)? becuase i am going to get one soon and im very scared, like does it hurt?

A Pap smear is generally not painful. It may be a little uncomfortable since the sensation isn't something you're used to. The best thing to do is try to relax and focus on something else while the doctor is doing it. I've found that relaxing and doing deep breathing exercises while my ob/gyn is doing the exam helps.

Basically what they do is give you a gown to change into and tell you to get up on the exam table or chair. They'll ask you to slide to the end and put your feet in stirrups (things to support your feet). Then they'll insert a tool called a speculum inside you to help open you up a little so they can see. This is generally the uncomfortable spot so try to relax here. If you tend to be small inside, you can ask the doctor to use the smaller speculum. They generally have 2 sizes. Then, they swab your cervix with a long q-tip looking thing to get cell samples from your cervix. It generally doesn't hurt, just feels a little weird.

It's usually over pretty quick so just try to relax and think of something else. It'll be over before you know it.

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I'm a 17/F, junior in high school. I'm seriously debating dropping out my senior year. Just finish out school until I'm 18 and no longer legally have to attend. I simply hate school, all it does is cause problems and drama in my life. With the things I've done, I wont get accepted into college anyway, so I figure I'll go to a community college when I'm ready because you don't even have to graduate to go to one of those. I already have a job that I absolutely love, so finding a job because I'm a dropout wont be a problem, and I'll be going to college anyway. Everyone I know is a senior this year, so next year will be miserable when all my friends are gone, and teachers suck, and other people are just self centered assholes, that I don't want to be around anyway. What are the pros and cons of dropping out for me at this point? Is anyone out there a dropout? Any experiences to share?

Actually if you take any sort of degree program at the community college, you do have to have a high school diploma or GED. That may be something you want to consider. I would suggest calling your local community college and talking with an admissions counselor just to be sure you're not going to knock yourself out of going to college by dropping out of high school.

Personally I finished high school, but I do have a sister that dropped out. She's now 21 and struggling to get her GED so she can go to college to get a better job and support her kids. Her jobs up until now have been working fast food, waitressing, and factory jobs. These jobs all paid very little, offered her very little in the way of benefits, and were basically dead-end.

Statistically high school graduates make thousands more yearly than those who have dropped out. This may be something else you might want to consider.

I know you've said that school makes you miserable and that you don't want to go when all your friends are gone, but you've already made it this far. Why not go ahead and finish it? Staying with it just one more year to get your diploma can make a world of difference in your life and your future.

Good luck, whatever you decide.

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Okay. I'm a junior in high school and I'm graduating at the end of this year. I want to enter college in the Fall of 2006 and major in math and physics, those have always been areas that interest me. I have already applied to four different colleges, I'm working on scholarships as hard as I can, and I have two part-time jobs in addition to keeping up extracurriculars and 4 AP classes. I'm working as hard as I can this year because I really want to set myself up for college and living on my own.
Here's the problem: My mom has forbidden me to apply to any colleges, she wants me to go in the Fall of 2007 so that I can get in a full year of work, because she says I'm not mature enough. I have worked really, really hard at everything: I've kept up my chores, my job teaching piano, my job at the library, my schoolwork, and being in a musical, and she still won't let me. Now, normally I would think that working for a year to save up money for college is a great idea. But my majors are in math and physics, and a year is a long time to be away from calculus and quantum mechanics. I'm really afraid of losing the momentum, and of missing my chance to go for my goals.
My guidance counselor at school tells me to apply to every college I want to and not worry about my mom just yet...along with a score of other people, like my dad, my grandma, my boyfriend, and various other family friends. It's just, I'm really worried about this...like the fight that will ensue once I start hearing back from the colleges I applied to. I'm completely dedicated to going in the Fall of 2006...with or without my mom's consent, but I would really like it to be with.
Is there anything I can do to convince her I can handle it?
Sorry it's so long -
Nevaeh

Since you say that everyone else, including you, think you should go in Fall 2006, I think the problem may lie with your mother. She may be having separation anxiety at the thought of you going off.

I agree with your guidance counselor. You should go ahead and apply to all the colleges you want to.

I would speak to your mother. Tell her that you'll miss her too, but that you think you are ready. Remind her that you keep up your chores, your job and your schoolwork right now. You may have to have other family members and even your counselor talk to your mother. Tell her that while you appreciate her concern, you have to do what's best.

Good luck. I wish you the best.

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okay well lately the area around my vagina has been really itchy. like since firday (today is wensday). its like really sore and pinker than usual. i told my mom but she didnt think anything of it. she thought it was a reaction to the soap so i tried the kind i used before and it still is like this. before my discharge was just white but now its like yellow and smells gross. should i go see a doctor and if so what do they do? and what should i do/not do before going?

*i rate 5's*

You should definitely go to the doctor. While a little discharge is normal, a smelly discharge is a sign of infection. When you go to the doctor, they'll ask you about the discharge-color, smell, consistency. They might examine you to get a sample of the discharge so they can test it. They'll most likely give you some antibiotics to treat it.

There's not really anything you can do before you go. You may want to take a shower just so you're comfortable if they do examine you.

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can you have sex while your pregnent?(serious question, no smart answers please.) all fives.

It depends on the pregnancy and the woman. With some women, it's recommended against. The best thing to do is talk to your ob/gyn and ask if it's safe.

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oaky i have a RLY bad sweating problem! At school i sweat like heck and i cant help it! by the end of the day i have HUGE oit stains! Ive tried many different deoderants....first i started out with avon and then i tried secret (( the strong and invisable kind)) and now im using avon sport...none of them will work!!! please help me! what is a very strong deoderant???

If you're just using deodorant, that may be your problem. Deodorant only masks the smell of sweat. Look for ones that are labeled anti-perspirant. They're formulated to help keep you from sweating.

If regular antiperspirants aren't working, you may need to talk to your doctor. There is a medical condition that causes some people to sweat excessively. They can prescribe you specially formulated antiperspirants that are much stronger than what you can buy at the store.

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I got a DELL 2400 bout a month ago and I have installed MSN 7.5 and my computer is running slower. I have about 89% free space on my hard disk. What can I do to make it run faster??? Thanks!

Adaware is a great thing to have. Another great tool is Spybot. You can get it at http://www.safer-networking.org/en/download/index.html

It's a good idea to run both virus scans and spyware scans once a week to keep your computer in peak condition.

Also, if you haven't already, I would suggest running disk defragmenter. Just go to start-programs-accessories-system tools-disk defragmenter and run it.

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Is there a program online ( or I can download ) *for free* that can turn my pictures from color to black and white ?

- Thankss

A photo editing program such as PhotoShop can change your pictures to black and white. It's not free, but it does offer a 30 day free trial.
You can download it at http://www.download.com/Paint-Shop-Pro/3000-2192_4-10434071.html?tag=lst-0-5

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