This is an ADVICE site, not a how many hairs are on Justin Timberlakes butt site.

Your boyfriend stinks, and I am not just talking about his raunchy cheese breath. He sounds like a total jerk. "...he'll hold my face n try to force me..he pushed my face n my neck cracked." No guy EVER has the right to push or force you in any way to do anything. You need to be in reality here. He is not the sensitive type, he is the insecure bullying creep type. Abuse usually starts small and grows over time. The abusive man claims to be sensitive, but it is the girl that gets hurt. Leave this stinky abusive loser. You deserve a boyfriend that not only is not foul smelling, but more importantly would never do anything to hurt or push or force you. A real man is patient and gentle with the woman he loves, and would never put his hands on any woman in a violent, bullying way...EVER.

Where is this letter? She should have shown you it, because it is the proof. I would ask your boyfriend straight up what is going on and tell him you already know about the letter. Maybe he will confess or maybe he won't. You need to try. Your gut feelings are usually worth paying attention to.

Are you having a hard time with rejection in general in your life? It would help me if I had a little more detail about how the rejection went, any history together, your age and his. You have nothing to gain by pursuing or avoiding him. Don't go out of your way to do either one. He is only one guy. Not a big deal. Move on. The importance you are placing on this may be the fact that you live in such a teensy tiny community. Remember, there are easily a hundred guys that would love to go out with you for every one guy that rejects you. You may want to explore beyond the pond if all you find there are toads.

You can tell her that you know that her appearance is her personal business and that every one has a different sense of style and opinions about fashion. Have a real conversation with her about how she feels about the reactions she has been getting. Chances are that she already knows that some people will hate her hair. There is no reason to tell her what she already knows, so find out from her first. If she is really clueless, then help her figure it out carefully. You are really a good friend to be concerned about her feelings and you should tell her this. I am so proud of you that you did not use this opportunity right away to diss the girl that said the mean, even though you wanted to. It would have hurt the friend you really do care about and might have even backfired on you. I wish you luck, but I think you will do a good job of this without it.

Time to get a trusted adult involved. You need to talk to a parent, aunt, school teacher, school counselor or any other adult friend. I don't know if abortion is the best choice for you, but only you can make that decision. Do you have any clinics nearby that will help you go over all your options and talk about the pros and cons of both. This is a very emotional decision, but you need to try to make an intellectual one as well. You are going to need support and loving people around you no matter what you decide. The guy that got you pregnant may indeed find out if he does not already know. Word does tend to travel fast, so be prepared. I would talk to him about it before he finds out from someone else. Again, this is your decision. Please let me know how you are doing and if I can be of any help.

Usually the doctor will want to test your male partner for infertility first, because it is easier and less invasive. Both of you should go to the doctor or fertility specialist together. Good luck.

The risks may be lower, but they are still real. A number of diseases can be attributed to from oral sex. Some diseases take months for symptoms to appear, so you never know. Also, the reality of cheating or a partner's sexual past being not fully disclosed keeps anyone from REALLY KNOWING every thing and every one the partner has experienced. http://www.thewellproject.org/en_US/HIV_The_Basics/Oral_Sex_Whats_the_Real_Risk.jsp;jsessionid=FCyMYMGwCL8DFGDdxytRK1rMxwpdmTfn0vrjPyLG60Mky6RG4466!-44492584
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Tips for safer oral sex
There are things you can do to reduce the risk of oral sex:

Don’t have oral sex if you or your partner has mouth sores (such as oral herpes lesions).
Discreetly inspect your partner’s genitals for lesions.
If you find something, don’t believe your partner if he or she tells you it was caused by “the heat,” or “the weather,” or “the clothes.” You should avoid any contact with the area until a doctor has examined it.
Don’t floss, brush your teeth, or engage in any behavior that would create abrasions or cuts in your mouth prior to performing oral sex. Use mouthwash or a breath mint instead.
Avoid swallowing pre-cum, semen, or vaginal fluids.
Use latex condoms for oral sex on a man (try the unlubricated, flavored ones).
If you perform oral sex without a condom, finish up with the hand, or spit semen out and rinse with a mouthwash rather than swallowing.
Use a dental dam for oral sex on a woman or for rimming (licking the anus).
Dental dams are large squares made from latex. Plastic food wrap (not microwave-style plastic wrap) is just as effective. Put some water-based lube on one side of the dam or plastic wrap. Then stretch the dam over the vagina or anus with the lubed side facing down. This gives you a thin barrier between your mouth and the vagina or anus.
Avoid vaginal oral sex during menstruation to prevent contact with blood.
Look after your mouth. The likelihood of oral HIV transmission increases if you have bleeding gums, ulcers, cuts, sores or infections in the mouth.
Find alternatives
Massage your partner, use caresses, or mutual masturbation.
Use a vibrator (use a condom when sharing).
Avoid vigorous, prolonged oral sex ("deep-throating").
Avoid mouth or throat trauma caused by a large number of partners in a short period of time.
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Don't start doubting your own reaction, just because you miss the attention. It was a fun game, but when it got serious, you got scared. That is perfectly okay and probably smart. He is a little old for you, especially because you are jailbait and he is an "adult" in the eyes of the law and drinking legal. This means, he could not only go to jail for getting seriously physical with you...which any 24 year old guy would try to do, but would if he is stupid enough, give you alcohol first and go to jail for that, too. He knows this and he knows he would be playing with fire and that you really are too young to mess with. If he did pursue you, it would be bad for both of you at this point. Go out with a few guys your own age for a while and avoid the drama of an older guy for at least another year.

Yes, I agree with the previous advice. You need to be okay with them getting into rehab. It will benefit everyone. If they don't get help, and continue to poison themselves, they are not going to be able or willing to parent anyone or even take care of themselves. You have a better chance at having a normal life if you get help and don't have to be at the mercy of all this drama and destructive behavior. You need to think about yourself and your goals right now. The parents may straighten up in the future, but don't live your life waiting around for them. When people are drug and alcohol addicted they do not think or feel clearly, and they sacrifice everything they once held dear for their next fix. It is a sad horrible reality. I know about this firsthand and feel for you tremendously. You are not alone and you will eventually be able to surround yourself with all the loving friends and family you want in your own adult life. We cannot choose our parents, but at least we have a life through their bringing us into this world. It may be a struggle, and you may have to grow up and be more of an adult than they are acting, but you can and will succeed in your own life despite your bad examples. Get support and advice from trusted people, teachers, school counselor, peer groups, and yes, even child protective services and the police. They can get you in touch with couseling, and additional resources as you need them. Do not be ashamed. Be brave. My thoughts go with you and I know that you will be blessed for your courage.

Your mom has a right to be concerned about you. She loves you! Your body will get used to whatever you make it. If you start eating a healthy breakfast then your body will get used to it. By starving your body all day when it needs the calories most, you are depriving your brain tissue, proper functioning of your nervous system, the health of your internal organs long term, your bone mass, and on and on. Only you can make the decision to love and care for yourself in this area. Your weight sounds pretty darn low to me for your height. Only your doctor can tell you for certain. You will do better in track if you eat a healthy balanced diet and three-five times a day small meals that are going to provide nourishment for your growing body. Take care of yourself...you are the only you around.

UPDATED***

"Perfectionism is not about doing one's best, or about pursuing excellence; it's about the emotional conviction that perfection is the only route to personal acceptance. It is the emotional conviction that by being perfect, one can finally be acceptable as a person."
- Dr. Tom Greenspon

http://www.ctd.northwestern.edu/resources/socemoachieve/perfectionism.html
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I don't think you are ready for a boyfriend. You have issues that need to be worked out without that added pressure. By trying to be perfect, you are not loving yourself. We all need to love ourselves before we can love another human being. You are no worse and no better than anyone else. I would try to get as many fun people in my life as possible, people you can feel comfortable with and laugh with. You need to learn to laugh at yourself. Life has some very serious parts and some parts that are best enjoyed with a sense of humor. Practice being imperfect, yes practice it! Get good at it! Have fun with it. Make it your daily goal to purposely do or say something very silly or imperfect every single day. You will eventually learn that you can survive imperfection. Perfectionism, however, will kill you. Give yourself a hug and tell yourself as you would a small child, that you are great the way you are, you are worthy and loveable warts and all.

There is no wrong or right answer. Whatever you feel you want to do and whatever you decide is right for you to do is the only way to proceed. Don't let anyone pressure you to do or not do anything. Take your time and set limits to your contact if you do decide to get to know your biological dad. Sometimes in this situation, it is best to have very low expectations of what you will gain from the experience of talking to or visiting someone who has let you down in such a huge way. It is okay to have mixed feelings. That is normal. You have a right to feel whatever you want to at the moment, and to change your mind about it as often as you need to. You owe him NOTHING. Do what is best for you. Say what you want to say. Bless you and know that there are many many people in your same situation that would support you whatever you decide.

It is a collection of various written books, letters, songs, stories and even historical events that are held by believers to be divine and true. The Bible of Christianity contains books that are divided by two separate time periods. The Old Testament section comes first and is basically taken from the Jewish Holy Torah. The history and beliefs of the Hebrew Nation or "God's Chosen People." It begins with the creation of the world and man and predicts the coming of the Christ. The New Testament begins with four accounts from four men on the birth and life of Jesus, whom Christians believe to be the Christ, the Son of God, and Savior of the world. In the New Testament, Jesus has followers that were the first Christians. Some were Jews and some non-Jews and they had faith in Christ to be the Son of God. There were those who were both Jews and non-Jews who did not believe in him, too. At the end of the Bible, the last book is Revelation. It is thought that the end of the world and the coming of Christ is metaphorically predicted in this book, but details of the "end times" are layered in heavy symbolism and difficult to comprehend. The Old Testament originally was the Jewish Torah, adopted by Christians later. The original text is in Hebrew. The New Testament is originally in Greek. The Bible has been greatly distributed in the world where it is legal to do so, but in some countries where they view the Bible and free-thinking as a threat, it is banned and the punishment for reading it, having it, or being a Christian is DEATH. It is still a very powerful book, whether or not one believes it is holy.



http://education.yahoo.com/reference/dictionary/entry/Bible

There is really no point of trying to have a relationship with someone when it is not what you both want. You have needs that are not being met and he is too immature or selfish right now to be a boyfriend to anyone. Yes, boyfriends are suppose to say nice things and be supportive of you. This does not mean that a guy can take the place of your own self-esteem or sense of identity, but they should not take away from it either. Stop letting him take advantage of you by putting up boundaries and limitations to what you are willing to do for him. Start thinking of how you can meet your own needs for feeling good about your life and yourself, and you won't require as much from the man in your life. When you are in a healthy good place in your own soul, then you will attract a man that will add to your life and not drag you down.

No. He is a stranger to you and you would never leave home to go meet a stranger. It is not safe. He could still be very violent, into drugs, around scary people, we just don't know. He left you. He hurt your mom. He is not a father. He was a sperm donor. That is all. I know it is painful...I really do. At least talk to your mom and agree that if you do ever meet with this man, that you do it honestly and with the appropriate safety measures in place.

Yikes...that is a difficult position you are in. Parents idealy are supposed to set a good example and not compromise the marriage and home, but parents are just imperfect humans and make many mistakes. I don't know your mom and more importantly we don't really know the relationship she has with your step-dad. We cannot judge her. However, you need to talk to your mom in private about how YOU FEEL about the situation. This does not mean she has to give you details or answers to all your questions. She is an adult woman and has a right to privacy in some areas of her life. Whether it is a parent smoking behind his spouses back or a parent cheating, it is between the adults. You do have a right to voice your concerns, fears, and feelings, but try to do so respecting the fact that she is still your mother. Let her know what you know and what you think your know and at least she can be aware of how her choices are affecting her kids. It may straighten her up and bring her back to reality or it may not. It is not up to you to fix the situation or her. If it is confirmed that she is cheating, then that is still between her and your step-dad. She can still be a good mother in other aspects of your life, and I pray she will.

Saying no is your right. It needs to be said right away and strongly. Don't worry about it sounding nice. Women and girls put up with too much crap in the mindframe that they don't want to seem rude, when what is being done to them is way worse! It is rude and offensive for a guy to move and touch where you don't want him to, and where he has not obtained permission to do so and HE knows this. Guys just push their luck until it runs out. To avoid the confusion it helps to set limits verbally beforehand. Tell him that you will let him know when and where you would like him to touch you, but kissing is great for now. If he does not respect your own limits over your own body, then he does not respect YOU. If a hand or whatever wanders, you do what you need to in order to stop it immediately...it is your right, your body, and no one has a right to it but you. Next time you kiss him or someone else, you could first hold both his hands in yours and keep a hold of them there until you are comfortable and trust him to stay within the limits you have set. Your body is not something to compromise on. You are never ever ever obligated to do anything you are not 100% ready for and wanting to do. Better to set limits now, then to have regrets later. Most women look back and wish they had done less not more with the guys they were dating, since most turned out to be jerks and losers...I hear it all the time, so be smart and be in control of your body, mind and life.

Young Gram is right and you probably knew it, but it is hard to face sometimes that something has failed. Remember, the relationship failed, but you are not a failure. Pick yourself up and get out of the situation with a little bit of a bruised ego, and tired emotions, but a wiser and stronger self. You won't make the same choices in the future. Be the woman the man of your dreams is looking for and you will find each other when the time is right. In the meantime, don't lower your standards for anyone less.

I agree you should talk to someone. Have you told your parents how you feel? Try to talk to them at a time when everyone is calm and not fighting. Focus on not accusing them of anything, but just saying how you feel inside. It does not need to be a big speech. Just one sentence even. Let them absorb that and just listen and don't get defensive when they talk. You don't want to provoke them or put yourself in a worse position, but try to work it out with them first. Life is hard, parents are imperfect people like anyone else and will always have major flaws. Being a teen is a trying time for you and them. The relationship must continue to be open and you need to be in a safe place where you can communicate, but this sometimes does not happen in "regular" homes. You can't make them stop, any more than I can make them. We don't have that power to control others. You can try to approach them in a gentle manner I described. It may take several tries...go in baby steps. Nothing will change overnight, or it may never. In the meantime talk to a school counselor about your feelings and concerns. I don't know what constitutes mental abuse legally, but it would take a professional to determine that. Parents can be a major source of anguish without it being legally abusive, so I don't know what you might be up against. You are a brave girl and I am glad you have some real positives in your young life. You will get through this. You will eventually get to pick and choose for yourself whom to allow in your life...the ones that are not nice will have no place in it. I wish you all the best. Let me know if there is anything else you need.

"Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable. To say something you value deeply to another and to have him or her value it equally by listening to it carefully and apppreciatively is the most universal way of exchanging social interest or demonstrating affection." David Augsburger, CARING ENOUGH TO HEAR AND BE HEARD.


All sincere persons will be given thoughtful examination and reply. Please be specific about your situation as it applies to your question, the applicable information and facts necessary for me to properly assess your situation and give you the benefit of my knowledge and experience, which includes: experience/education with mentoring, relationship study, self help, spirituality, poetry, literature, philosophy, psychology, color theory, teaching, parenting, and debate that will be used to your advantage. I am concerned with offering an objective and realistic perspective more than ratings, because this will help YOU. Artificial sweetness is found in diet soda, not in my advice. If you feel that I did not understand your question or need more specifics to help, please let me know, but while all truth is subjective, questioners should be mature enough to hear answers not necessarily agreed with. If you are only looking for someone to tell you just what you want to hear, then you may not be ready for my advice. I believe in personal responsibility, self and other awareness and your power and ability to recreate and redirect your own life. All our misery and joy begins and ends within ourselves, but our willingness to be open can bring the positive or negative energy we seek. If you or someone you know is open to positive help, the resources and caring individuals needed are available now.

http://www.coolnurse.com/

http://www.4woman.gov/violence/

http://www.childhelpusa.org/about/programs-and-services/childhelp-national-child-abuse-hotline-1-800-4-a-child

drug/alcohol abuse help go here: http://www.4drugabuse.com/addiction-treatment.html

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/1800-273-TALK(8255)
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. If you need help, please dial 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You will be routed to the closest possible crisis center in your area. With over 120 crisis centers across the country, our mission is to provide immediate assistance to anyone seeking mental health services. Call for yourself, or someone you care about. Your call is free and confidential. -----------------------------------

http://www.kidscrisis.com/

http://www.teenadviceonline.org/gethelp/numbers.html

You can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline, operated by RAINN, 24 hours a day, free & confidential. 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

For info. on birth control etc.
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

The Girls and Boys Town National Hotline is the only hotline that children and parents can call with any problem at any time:
Open 24-hours a day, every day at 1-800-448-3000

Spanish-speaking counselors available; translation services for 100+ languages

TTY line available for the hearing-impaired at 1-800-448-1833

Counselors can help find services and agencies in the callers' local community

Help at the End of the Line
Callers talk to highly-trained, professional counselors who listen and give "right now" answers. They're sympathetic people who have expertise dealing with these and other problems:

depression

suicide

running away

parenting problems

relationship concerns

physical, sexual, and emotional abuse

chemical dependency

mental health

anger

aggressive behavior

Toll Free
Operated by Father Flanagan's Boys' Home, hotline services are free of charge to every parent and child in all 50 states, the District of Columbia, U.S. territories, and Canada.

Toll-Free: 1-800-448-3000

http://www.sex-ed101.org/links.html

http://www.anorexicweb.com/anorexicweb.html

Report Child Abuse
Childhelp USA National Child Abuse Hotline
1-800-4-A-CHILD TDD: 1-800-2-A-CHILD



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All our motivations stem from two: Love or Fear. When in turmoil or indecision, ask yourself from which of these you are acting. If you want an honest response outside of yourself, you need to first be honest within yourself. Bless you on your journey!

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