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All is as it should be.

I will do my best to help you, as others have helped me.

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I was wondering if the following constitutes verbal/emotional abuse when committed by a parent.

- Name calling/yelling often
- Neglect/ Not being spoken to for a while
- Having standards that make the child feel bad
- Manipulation
- Talking badly about the other parent to get pity
- If the child lives in fear of being physically abused
- If the child feels unloved or like the parent simply cannot be pleased

Emotional/verbal abuse/neglect are hard to identify since you can't see the scars. And I was wondering if all of these must be present for it to be abuse.. or just some of them? Does anybody know? Thank you very much.

Yeah I mean I went through it and I didn't have all of those but there was enough to consider it absue to me. In my case it was: Name calling, certain areas of things are never good enough, manipulation, control, yelling and false accusations, lack of affection, stuff like that...I mean the hard part is when you have a generally good parent but they have some abusive ways. This tends to be the case with abuse a lot of times. So I mean my mom was great and I would never replace her but that doesn't change the fact that she was verbally abusive and manipulative. So you gotta do what you feel. Go check out the Psychological Workbook section of Borders and Barnes and Noble and look up stuff on parental abuse and go from there, that's what I did.

Do guys think about the girl they are cuddling with. Like, do they always want to have sex with the girl they cuddle with?

I agree with Thelaura 100%

I have this friend and we've been friends for almost four years. I've finally buckled up enough strength to tell him that I liked him more than a friend. He said you know we've already had this conversation and if it happens,it happens. I really didn't quite understand what that meant. I don't want him to play games with me and I really hope thats not what he's doing. We talk on the phone a lot and we really just enjoy each other's company. What should I do?

*sigh...Honestly, you should go for a guy who is more INTO YOU. This does not sound like he is into you, he may end up dating you because he cares about you, and he knows you want it, and he is your friend and loves you, and wants you to be happy, but it will probably not work out. If he was into you, this would not be his response. That's not even clear. If it happens it happens? How's it supposed to happen if both people aren't going for it? Basically what it seems to me that he is saying is "IF I start to catch feelings like you, and we both have feelings at the same time then ok...but as of now, I don't feel the same way you do". So don't force it. He doesn't want you but he doesn't want to say no cause he cares about you and doesn't want to hurt your feelings, that's what it sounds like to me...I don't know. See what everyone else has to say and then go from there. Peace.

how do you make it hurt less??

OK I'm sorry to get you excited about an answer, but BF could stand for Best Friend or Boy Friend...I know they will both hurt but I think you will get clearer answers if you specify. Peace.

what are the possible things i can expect to happen the first time i have sex, as far as physical feelings and emotional ? i mostly want to know how it will feel physically. or the things i can do so it will feel better.

Just a suggestion, you might get more clear responces from people if you specify if you are a male or a female. Men and Women as you know, feel totally different things when having sex, especially for the first time. I would be glad to answer but I don't want to tell you that your vagina is going to hurt and you don't have one you feel me hahaha

Is it true that if you want to loose weight you can take laxatives when your done eating? Or how does that work? Dont tell me anything about my health or not doing it. OKay? Thanks!(:

Well here is the deal you are asking a question and not wanting the truth haha I mean the whole basis of the question of about your health and your body. So I am going to be honest with you according to what I know and you can rate me how ever you like and if I get a 1 then I will just have to chuck it up. Ok so If you are going to do like a epsom salt laxative you are only supposed to do it once a month, you can do it twice but you really shouldn't do it more than that cause there is like bacteria and stuff in your intestines that have to sort of keep a rhythem or balance and if you always do that particular laxative it will Screw up your digestive tract. ok so the next option is stuff like noni tea and dieters tea or any other detox/laxative tea, this is what I suggest...Dieters tea you can drink every day, it is made for you to take it every day, like it's mild enough for your system...I think you can take it every day for up to 3 or 4 months or something like that, read the label... Sometimes it's hard to find, but you can usually find it at the health food store like whole foods or something. Prunes are good too, now I don't know what the rule is on prunes and prune juice but it's natural and it will provide a good amount of fiber and help to flush the system. Now there is another one called the Master Cleanse...now I don't recommend this one persey because it is really more of a detox/fast which means you will gain weight back after you start eating food again. i do recommend it for health but not for long term weight loss, it takes like 10-20 days to do but you should lose about 10-20 lbs. but you can only drink this drink for 10-20 days. If you are mentally disaplined then you can do it. So it doesn't have to be "when you are done eating" it can be anytime. but you want to listen to what people tell you about how often to do what ever it is so that your body can stay healthy. They aren't just giving you BS they are looking out for your health. Ok peace.

Okay i weigh aroung 160 and I'm thirteen. now i know what your thinking but just wait. I look like i weigh 120 lbs, the reason i am 160 is that i have very large breast i wear a 38d and my mom makes fun of my weight, she calls me names and it really hurts me. How should i deal with it when it's not me that's causing the weight?

Ok you gotta love you, people who spend a lot of energy making fun of people because of their weight, have issues thems selves with their image. My aunt did it and it turns out she has serious image issues, she is never good enough to herself, my friends family, they are the same way...they have issues with how they look. It's gonna sound cliche but you are gonna have to learn to ignore her. I know she is your mom and you love her and therefore the things she says to you can effect your balance. You have to not let that happen. If you look in the mirror and you love the way you look, and you go to the doctor and they say you are healthy, then that is that. You don't need your mom's aproval, and as long as she sees it bothers you she is going to do it. It's like a child, that is the child in her that wants to make you feel bad cause she feels bad and she is trying to make herself feel better by making you look bad, she sees you are happy with who you are and she is not, so she is trying to bring you down. Now this doesn't make her a bad mom or something, don't get me wrong, this is just a result of her upbringing and her inner issues. If you keep letting it bother you, you are going to have weight issues and self love issues and self beauty issues and you will look to men to make you feel good...or something along those lines, So stop it NOW. Say, if she was not my mom, if she was just some stranger on the street, would I still be all bent out of shape over it? Probably not, so when she gets going, just straight up ignore her and if you want, smile and say, I love you mom. That's it. Plain and simple. Accept that she has an issue that she can't get over, and just love her, send her peace. Feel me? It'll work.

I'm engaged and thinking of getting married next summer. Both of us are 20 years old, will be in our third year of college. Both of our school costs are paid for except books, and we both make just minimum wage. Can we afford to get married now? Keep in mind our rent would be around $500, and min. wage here is $7.50; don't know what other costs to include that's why I'm asking?

ok we are getting married right now. We like the previous girl have been engaged for a while. For a few reasons, there were some things that I needed to see if they could be worked out, there were a few moves and yes one of the biggest things, us living together for a decent amount of time to make sure that we could do it. Come See Me Come Live With Me, my great grandmother used to say. There is a BIIIIG difference. You are with them all the time, you see EVERYTHING, you can't just get away, you have a chance to see what COMMITMENT really means. If you guys have a disagreement or your first arguement or your UmpTeenth arguement, are you going to be able to get through it when all you have is a door between you? What if you have to get up early to make them food cause they don't know how to cook, what if she gets tired of cleaning? What if you want a cat and she wants a bird? What if she wants to live in Cali and you want to live in NY and neither of you want to live in the other's? So Before you even think about money, think about living together. We have been able to get through all of this and 3 years almost we have been together and every morning when I wake up, I am happy to see him next to me and the same for him. I've never woken up and been like OH GOD WHY? hahaha even if I was a little upset the night before, I've thought in the morning we can work through it. So with that said. The license veries from place to place. Here in Iowa it costs everyone $30, some places residents dont have to pay. Him and I are like you both, we are building our careers so we are waiting to buy rings til the "real" ceremony. This year and the begining of next year is just paperwork. We got the first one done and the next one is where you will need a priest and that could be free if you do it at the courthouse or it could be anywhere from $150 on up. So it totally depends on what you want. If you two love each other and are compatible, then you will get through the money stuff. Just don't try to live above your means and don't use money as an excuse to not be romantic. Make sure that no matter what there is Romance, even if it means making a home made card or pouring a baby oil bath with dollar store candles. As long as you have a good heart, love each other, are compatible and you put forth the effort to make it work no matter what, then you will be fine. Now If you want a hollywood weading haha then no you can't get married now :P but if you are ok with keeping it simple and then maybe having a "real" wedding, like we are later on, then yes you should be fine :) Congratulations.
Oh and sorry you asked what other costs to include. This is what your goal should be, tally up everything you need to have (food, interview clothing, gas money), then tally up every thing that you want but feel like you need (netflix, beers) and then tally up what you want but don't need at all but would just make life more pleasurable (new no occasion shoes, going out to dinner every week, vacations, etc) The first tally is what you HAVE TO MAKE no matter what. The second tally is what you should Focus on making no matter what (so what I mean is, don't go into a job and as for enough to just pay the first tally, ask for enough to pay the first and the second tally together). The third tally is your goal. That is your 5 year maybe 10 year goal plan to get you the lifestyle you really want. So you want to know that you can at least make the first one, and keep in mind, people get fired and people quit. You and she has to be willing to support the other one as long as they are out of a job (and of course as long as they are putting in effort) without being a b**ch about it. That is a part of being together (even without marriage). And you don't know how long they are going to be either low on funds or have no funds at all. So think about that and add that into your calculations. Make all of your spending decisions together for anything big...new TV, Bigger bills, semi-expensive anything, anything that's going to be like a couple hundred dollars or more. This way you can be there to remind each other of what may be a priority or how to find a good sale or when to go ahead and splurge. Ok haha Sorry to say so much but there is a ton that goes into it and I have barley scratched the surface but you will experience a lot and figure it out. My last comment...make sure that when things are not going well, if you have sensitive parents, that you DON'T make them the first people you go to when something goes wrong. You are their baby, and as small as the issue may be they will start to hate the person, even though you are forgiving them. If your parents are sensitive like my mom, only go to your parents when there is a PROBLEM like you are thinking of leaving and you may need to come home PROBLEM, like i've tried everything (church counceling, friend counceling, book counceling, professional counceling and i'm at my last straw and I may need to come home). But for little stuff, oh he said this funky or oh she said this word and I didn't like it or oh he may have kissed another person or what ever, GO to a friend that has positive advice, Go to a couple that you know that is happy and has been togther for a while, go to a couple that had a hard time but got through it. Don't go to single people for advice (unless they are good at giving objective advice) cause a lot of single people just want to hate and destroy haha. So go to people who know what you are dealing with. Commitment is a whole other thing. That's what you want to get advice on. Ok anyway. That's all I'm going to say for now. If you need any other advice please contact me cause I am right in the middle of it.

Hey I'm in desperate need of help with my marriage....
I've been married for a year and a half now and things are definitley not going well at all....
So a little about myself...my name is alicia and im a sophomore in college. I have just recently found out that i have seperation anxiety when it comes to my husband....yes pretty ridiculous but its very hard to deal with. My husband has been ditching his friends cuz he knows how I am but honestly, i really dont want him to b/c I def do NOT wanna deny him of his friends.
I prolly wont be able to go into too many details about this but bottom line is, i dont know how to deal with it. Everytime he mentions going somewhere even places that wont take too long, i get a really bad nervous/worried feeling in my stomach. I hate seeing him so unhappy w/o his friends. I tell him to hang out with them but he doesnt want to b/c of how im gonna get. I feel like my marriage is failing on top of all the other problems we have.
Sorry for the length but please let me know what you think.....

I am gonna be a little different from the previous person, it may not be about trust...it may just be fears, anxieties...i deal with that. Not with my guy leaving but with other things. This is what you need to figure out first...when you get the anxiety feeling what are you thinking? Are you thinking...what if he cheats on me or what if he is really going to see a girl or what if he is leaving cause he doesn't want to spend time with me OR are you thinking things like, what if he gets in a car accident or what if this is the last time i see him or what if something happens and he needs me and i'm not there or i need him and he's not there or something like that. This will let you know where your head is at..it may be none of these things but at least take some time to figure out what you are thinking...be honest with your self and see exactly what thoughts are giving you the anxiety...then you have to take action based on what you find out. If it's about trust then let him know that you two need to start doing some trust exercises together to help you out and you can look some up on line or at the book store and if it's about some other fear then take action accordingly...Truth is you have to let go..I would get a dog or a cat or something that you can have around besides him that will love you and let you comfort it. Don't get birds haha unless you get a love bird cause they are not as affectionate as you are going to need it to be. I would go for a dog or something you can really PET and love on that will help you feel secure you know what I mean? So do that and see how it goes :) Peace

I'm addicted to shoplifting. I've been doing it for about a year and a half now. It was my 2009 New Year's Resolution to stop shoplifting...but I didn't. I've been shoplifting weekly for about a year. I steal everything from makeup, jewelry, clothes, chapstick, food, pens, and headphones.

Today I went shopping with my sister (she used to steal, too, but she doesn't anymore). We went into a store and I stole two pairs of pants. Then we went to a store across the street and I stole a pair of shoes, a shirt, and two drinks. My sister saw all the stuff when we got home and told me she would never shop with me again. She's my best friend and this makes me sad. :(

I hate that I shoplift. But I also love it. I love getting new things, and I love the adrenaline rush. I know it's not worth it, and I know it's illegal. How do I stop? Please help me. And how do I get my sister to trust me again?

I think you are going to have to get help...Honestly it depends on what you want to do with your life, I don't mean to be to extreeme sounding but if you are a thief then you are a thief and nothing is going to make you stop wanting to be a thief...Because you are not talking about just doing it cause you can't afford it...you are doing it for the adreneline rush...So You are either going to have to embrace that and deal with all the pros and cons that come with that life...or you are going to have to get help. You gotta say do I want to live that dangerous life or do I want to get help for ME, not for your sister. You feel me? It has to be for you. I'm sure there are therapists that help people that have this, I forgot what it's called but there is a name for it...kleptomania...And if you can't do a therapist I suggest that you do the borders self help work book section and see what they have on the topic, this helped me with some of my phobias. So what you have to figure out is the source of that kleptomania and deal with it. Everything has a reason...there is a reason doing something bad and risky makes you feel good and you have to find out what that reason is so that you can deal with it and either let it go or find a healthier way of dealing with it. SO hope this helps. Peace Peace.

Okay, I know how to make cyberlocks and dread falls, but i never get out of the house to get the materials ((The parents)). All the sites I've looked at have really expensive dreadfalls. Any sites that you know of that have cheap ones?

Ok I can look some stuff up for you but you gotta give me some more info..ok you mentioned that you know how to make them but you can't get out to get the material...do you want to know how to get the material for cheap online or do you want to know how to get the already finished product on line for cheap and if your answer is the latter one...the i have to ask what is your definition of cheap...25 50 100 ? What would you ideal like to spend? Let me know that and I will try to look some stuff up for you.

Obviously you're gonna need to be a fan or the show Naruto to answer then.

I'm not exactly sure how to describe this, but I'll try my best.
You know that one show opener that has the song with the lyrics "Fighting dreamer" in it?
Alright, well theres a picture in said show opener of Sasuke and Sakura fighting back to back and it almost looks like his hand is about to wrap around her waist.

Being a fan of the pairing, this has interested me for about two years.

Problem is, I cant find q picture of JUST that anywhere!
Could someone find one for me?

Ok my guy is a big Naruto fan, so if you can tell me what season I can ask him when he gets home. Then I will try to see if I can find a picture of it. Ok here is my e-mail
kahea2018@yahoo.com

Hey there,
Okay I was wondering if anyone can point me in the direction of clips for fanvids that i can make with Windows Movie Maker?
Gossip girl clips and One tree hill!!
All help appreciated!!
lxxxxxxx

I would contact theymos on here, he is good with that kind of stuff...

http://www.advicenators.com/column.php?u=theymos

He is really nice and very helpful and he also has a yahoo im and it's just theymos. ok peace.

i used to be REALLY good friends with this girl called marianne
we were bestfriends
then we start drifting
and i dont know why!!!!

its weird! :(

we used to hang out ALL the time and go to parties and peoples places all the time
now she doesnt hardly talk to me.
she doesnt wannt to do anything anymore.
ive tried explaining this to her..
but she thinks thats nothing has changed at all but it hass!

even my other bestfriends relationship is drifting as well.

it seems like we are aqquatinces now..

what do i do without her getting angry.
or should i just leave it .

does she want to be my friends or not ?? !

PLEASE HELP

LET IT GO! let it go let it go let it GOOOOO! I'm telling you, this has happened to me many times. If someone is supposed to stay your friend they will. When the universe says that's enough or God or what ever you want to call it, when life says that's enough, that's enough. Let me tell you, the first person this happened to me with "recently" cause it's happened all my life cause my mom was a mover. The more recent one, she used to sleep with guys I liked...I was new to the dating scene and I was always taught to put friends before men so I didn't know how to handle this triffelin person. Anyway, SHE started acting stank and not hanging out with us...We tried to go against the Universal Forces that were saying NO NO NO, she's not the one, and we kept trying to make up with her...long story short, it didn't work and she got even stanker. Second most recent...This girl that I thought was going to be my homie for LIFE...stoped talking to me when she and her friend fell out. We were a group of 3, now this was not the first time she just stoped talking to me for no apparent reason...this was the 3rd time! And I was fed up, so when she called me like 2 months later I was like when you are ready to talk about why you keep shutting me out then we'll talk and she called ME STANK! ME! So now her life is just a down hill spiral...she hates her life she hates her job she is drinking all the time and so on and so on...so I'm not saying that your friends are going to turn to shit...but maybe it's time for you to meet some new types of people. Maybe there are people coming into your life to guide you along your path to help you with what you are trying to do. That's what you have to focus on, sometimes we out grow people or we are spiritually done with them, meaning what ever we were supposed to learn from them we learned and it's time to move on. So just let her go, and it's hard and it's gonna hurt and you may wanna pick up that phone and call and say hey how's it going and if you really need to do it, but don't be supprised if you get dissed haha but if you don't and it rekindles then that's ok too. I have another friend that we were BEST FRIENDS like you wouldn't not even understand, almost like we were seperated at birth and we got seperated and didn't talk for like 6 mos and you know what when I called, it was like we had never been seperated. She is my friend and she is supposed to be in my life...I have another one that moved to Japan and she still sees me as one of her best friends and treats me as such even though we don't talk much. If it's supposed to be, nothing can destroy it. Not even continents. So in regards to your friend, for now I say just let it fade out. ok hope it helped.

Im in middle school and i have problem. There are 300 cute guys at my school that have great personalities and i dont have a crush on any of them! The even bigger poblem is that none of them are crushing on me. I think some of them are cute but there is no attraction and i find that wierd considering im not a lesbo. I had a boy friend the first 3 and a half months of school and we were going really well until i broke up with him. Is there just someting wrong with me? Im mean im a girl and they are boys. And i know im more way more brains then beauty(straight A student thank you)and im not a snot or mean. i love to make people laugh(the nice way) but i just don't see myself getting my first kiss or being found attractive any time soon. please no comments on me being too young for a bf or a kiss, i already have parents and i really dont want anymore.

Well I have to agree with the previous person. I have some examples for you. When I was a jr in HS I didn't think anyone at my school liked me. It's hard sometimes when you are a minority at your school. I was in the minority, it was mostly white and I was black. And it was hard cause I came to find out that a lot of the white kids were not allowed to date black people. They cold be friends with them but they could not date them and then there was a big chunk that was allowed to but wasn't sure if black people liked them so they were to scared to ask me out. When I visited a school in detroit, I was getting flirted with by almost all the guys, I even had a guy sing to me to impress me haha. Around that same year I had a guy that I didn't learn liked me til like 3 or 4 years later haha, and In senior year i had a guy that I could totally tell liked me and he never got the balls to just tell me and ask me out. I don't know how I knew I just knew and ever since then I have always known when guys like me. So with that said...I had to go all the way down to detroit (I was in Auburn Hills) to find out that men were and always have been attracted to me. There was a huge difference between MI and NY when I was in NY I had to beat the men off with a stick, white black puerto rican and so on, in MI I wouldn't know if a white guy liked me if it hit me in the face, cause it is a different culture...I don't mention black cuase I didn't live in an area with a lot of black people so it wasn't often that I even saw a single black man. Anyway the point of all this is. There are a lot of things that go into likeing people and people liking you back and knowing if they do or not. Like the lady said...you probably haven't even talked to all 300 cute guys at your school long enough to even know if they like you. Secondly they may not be your type, they may all be similar because they are from the same area and that just may not be your style...you make like the rugged Liam type from 90210 or the James Dean or you make like the Asian type like John Cho from flash foreward and you may not even know it yet cause there might not be any asian guys at your school...you see what I'm getting at. So don't stress it, I didn't have my first real kiss til I was 19 and there was a LOT of factors that played into that...Strict Parents, Being a Minority in my school, Not knowing a lot about dating or when someone likes me and so on and so on. So maybe when that striking new kid with the "that something" that you like walks in like Twilight haha then you might start to feel something but until them just study hahaha and hang out. :P

So basically, my mom's boyfriend who have been together since I was a little baby (I'm 15) has basically been my dad to me. I just started calling him my stepdad to people just because its just easier to say. a thought popped into my head one day and I thought about just calling him dad. But I feel like it would be completely awkward. I feel awkward just thinking about it. Like he was kind of on my bad side before last year for awhile because of his temper and him raising his voice and getting mad over the stupidest things. For instants, he yelled at me because I opened a drink, took a sip, didn't like it, put it back in the fridge saying I would get it back later, and he flipped because I just wasted something. I really hated him then. but now everything seems really okay, and he actually started to say 'i love you' to me. it felt kind of great but awkward. i told him the same back but I left. Would it be a good idea to call him 'dad'?

If you are going to call him Dad, call him dad cause you want to call him dad. Don't base it off of how you feel now. Your mom is your mom is your mom no matter how nice or F*ed up she treats you. My dad is my dad and he has never been here, now some people would never call him dad if they saw him again because he has not been there. But out of own integrity I would call him dad if I saw him but not like OH DADDY! Just like "hi dad" why would I call him by his first name. That's me though. So basically what I am saying is that my choice to call him Dad has nothing to do with his behavior at any particular moment. Dad is what he is. So for you, what do you define a dad as? If he fits your description of a dad, then call him dad. He may be nice today and an asshole tomorrow but you can't just say oh well you aren't as cool today as you were yesterday, you feel me? I know where you are comming from so don't think I am attacking your reasoning, I know it may read like that but I'm not. I'm just saying if you make your decision based on that you set your self up for disapointment. If you base it off of is he being a father to me? Is he being a dad to me? Am I going to keep calling him dad even if he and my mom don't stay together? and the answer is yes to all of those questions then call him dad. If not I would just go ahead and keep calling him by his first name or step dad. It's really for you, cause once you start using that word you are going to create a new bond. You are going to be opening up your heart more and having different expectations. At least I imagine you will. So make sure it's something you really want to do in your heart.
ok Peace.

I don't understand what religion this is, idk i just don't get it. I looked it up on google to try to see what it was and what they believed in but i don't understand. So if you no what it is i would love for you to explain it to me.
Thanks for your help:) i love learning new things

Here:
http://bulfinch.englishatheist.org/b/pantheon/Hymen.htm

http://search.yahoo.com/search;_ylt=A0geu46dfhFLXEcAeQ1XNyoA?p=Hymen+God+&fr2=sb-bot&fr=fptb-tyc7

and of course you know the part that's on the vagina.

This is a guess but I would imagine that someone who was a part of the Hymen religion probably serves this god as mentioned in the link above. I would start there.

I know I'm only a junior in high school, and I'm still young. But I know this happens to a lot of people. I have really loved my close friend for the longest time. He's sweet and funny and easy to talk to. But he's confused between two other girls. One has been changing her mind on whether she likes him, and the other is older and kind of not interested. But were all friends with each other. He always comes to me on advice on whom he should go after, but I just want to shout "I'm right here, I'm always here, I would never change my mind about you." But I know he'll never see me that way. It's so frustrating because I think he knows I like him too. How do I get him to see me like that?

Hmmm, well I would still find out for SURE if he knows you like him and if he likes you back. Sometimes people think you might like them but they aren't sure so they shut their feelings for you off, sometimes you may think that they know you like them and they actually don't, you are just reading their expressions wrong because of your perspective. You can't make him like you in that way, but you can let him know how you feel (at this risk of things becoming awkward) and just trust that your friendship is strong enough to get through that. You can continue to be there as his friend, and if you are supposed to be together you and him will have feelings for each other and be available at the same time. But someone needs to say something. Someone needs to say you know I think you are cute or I kind of like you or would you ever date someone like me or something and really get some solid answers cause right now it's just a whole lot of trying to read expressions. And it's really hard with guys sometimes to tell when they like you or they care about you cause they tend to treat their friends that they really care about (female) the same as they would treat their sister or a girlfriend. So grab your "balls" and get past the fear, and say "so and so, I have liked you since the 5th grade or something and maybe you don't like me back, that's ok but I had to let you know cause you are looking at all these other girls and I really like you and want to be with you" and just be ready for him to say either sorry but i don't see you like that or oh my god I've been waiting to hear that from you cause i've been liking you since the 5th grade too! haha You just don't know. Ok so hope you make a solid decision. Peace.

all my life ive been handi capped from intimidation in the past 2 years ive had starting relationships but i always seem to get intimidated and cant seem to physically show effection ive lost dozens of women this way any suggestions?

Yeah I agree, the whole idea is to find someone that you feel Comfortable with, but this comfort doesn't always just show up at the begining, it is earned and developed. So yeah, if they leave because they can't handle you being a gentelman, cause they are too fast, then they weren't the right girl for you, trust me, women deal with it all time time, men leaving because we are too slow haha. Keep doing what you do, hold hands, kiss on the cheek, do what feels comfortable but make sure you communicate with her that, that is the type of person you are that way she doesn't think something is wrong with her. Like my exBF took about a week before he even tried to kiss me, it turned out he didn't know how to kiss haha but I was ok with that...and this was when we were like 19 or 20 haha :) So just communicate, be honest and be you.

ok so my boyfriend always smells soo good! he doesnt really wear cologne. but i know the way he washes his clothes makes them smell good. then i think its like his personal scent like the smell of his skin. if that makes sence. well my question is how can i see what my smell is? and if its good or bad. and how can i make it smell good? like is there something i bathe in or put on or eat or something that will make my skin smel good no matter what? cause i swear im on cloud 9 from jus his skin smell... and how can i get it to smell better in my down private areas? thankyou so much in advance.

Well, I'm gonna try to answer this to the best of my ability. There are a lot of things that go into a person't scent. One of the things is the way your bodily chemicals react to things you add to your skin like lotion or perfume or deoderant, the soap you bathe with etc. So when you are smelling him, you are not really just smelling "him". If your boyfriend only bathed with water for a week and never wore deoderant and only washed his hair with water and maybe, maybe used some non scented soap (which still has a mild scent due to herbs), only washed his clothes with water, he would not smell like what he smells like now. What he smells like is a combo of what he uses, his soap, his deoderant, his laundry detergent, the lotion he uses on his skin, his shampoo, his conditioner, all of this put together added with the chemicals in his body and how they react to the external chemicals is what makes "his scent" ok So with that said... it is said..that you cannot smell your own scent because you are so accustomed to smelling it... But if you want to smell something...then I suggest that you start picking and choosing what cleaners you want to smell like...I'll give you a perfect example. I HATE the deoderant I am using right now because it smells like something that an old friend of mine used to wear and we are NOT friends anymore, but I am not going to waste a $5 container of deoderant, so I will have to continue to feel as if I smell like her until it finishes. But NEXT TIME Trust me I will NOT be buying this. Now for my guy it smells good...but for me I HATE it. Now he is smelling something a little different than what I am smelling. He is smelling my human scent mixed with the other stuff, I can't smell my human scent. So what you do is you pick out what deoderant you want to use and shampoo and body lotion and perfume (if any) and if you use this stuff all the time, all the time, that will become the "scent" that people are used to smelling you as. Get me? So If you always use baby oil, they you are always going to smell like a freshly cleaned baby. And when people walk down the baby lotion aisle, they are going to think of you. If you always use herbal essences, when people smell kiwi strawberry, they are going to think of you. I had a friend that I could smell her scent in the shirt she gave me and I never washed it cause I missed her and that was the only way to remember her...but it was a mix of her detergent, her shampoo, her body smell haha what ever that consists of (and I'm sure it's a lot of chemical stuf), and her deoderant and all kinds of stuff wrapped up into one sweater :P. Here this too! Eat healthy stuff. Fruit, Veggies, honestly, the vagina is the vagina, it smells like vagina just like under arms smell like under arms... if your boyfriends under arms dont smell it's cause he is wearing deoderant or the deoderant residue is still on him after his shower cause men's arms are usually a lot stronger than womans cause they release different chemicals(I think) that's my experience. Anyway, if you have ever smelled a penis, it smells like penis haha and the only way it will not smell like penis is if they just used soap or something. Look, you got hair and you got pee and you got sweat...so what do you do? Bathe more times a day, rinse that baby off and dry it a few more times a day...but don't get caught up in that BS the vagina is supposed to smell like a fleshy human vagina just like the rest of your body, it's not supposed to smell like fresh summer daisies with a splash of vanilla hahaha My guy's penis smells like penis and his but smells like butt and haha sorry to be so blunt, but if you smell your butt and smell his butt it smells the same cause butt smells like butt and underarm smells like underarm. So you know keep your vaginal hair on the shorter side, keep your under arms shaved, use an exfoliant underneath your arms, floss this helps the breath to be even fresher, use a shampoo that works with your hair, make sure you like how your hair smells when you are done, I find that I don't like the smell of a lot of conditioners so find one that you like, use scented soap, body spray is great, figure out what you want to smell like, flowers? sweet nuts? herbs? fruit? get soaps and lotions and oils with this kind of stuff in them, if you have bigger boobs, make sure you put a little powder or deoderant or something sweet under there cause they can get sweaty, wash in between your toes, exfoliate exfoliate exfoliate...get rid of that old skin. So first learn to love your HUMAN smell and then do the ad ons that I told you about, and then see how that goes :) Ok sorry it was so long but hey :)

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