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BIG problem with me & my husband.
Hey I'm in desperate need of help with my marriage....
I've been married for a year and a half now and things are definitley not going well at all....
So a little about myself...my name is alicia and im a sophomore in college. I have just recently found out that i have seperation anxiety when it comes to my husband....yes pretty ridiculous but its very hard to deal with. My husband has been ditching his friends cuz he knows how I am but honestly, i really dont want him to b/c I def do NOT wanna deny him of his friends.
I prolly wont be able to go into too many details about this but bottom line is, i dont know how to deal with it. Everytime he mentions going somewhere even places that wont take too long, i get a really bad nervous/worried feeling in my stomach. I hate seeing him so unhappy w/o his friends. I tell him to hang out with them but he doesnt want to b/c of how im gonna get. I feel like my marriage is failing on top of all the other problems we have.
Sorry for the length but please let me know what you think.....
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You need to see couple's counseling together, and you need to see a therapist alone for your separation issues. Neither of these is things I'd try myself or expect anyone else to be able to handle entirely on their own without things getting really messy.
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I am gonna be a little different from the previous person, it may not be about trust...it may just be fears, anxieties...i deal with that. Not with my guy leaving but with other things. This is what you need to figure out first...when you get the anxiety feeling what are you thinking? Are you thinking...what if he cheats on me or what if he is really going to see a girl or what if he is leaving cause he doesn't want to spend time with me OR are you thinking things like, what if he gets in a car accident or what if this is the last time i see him or what if something happens and he needs me and i'm not there or i need him and he's not there or something like that. This will let you know where your head is at..it may be none of these things but at least take some time to figure out what you are thinking...be honest with your self and see exactly what thoughts are giving you the anxiety...then you have to take action based on what you find out. If it's about trust then let him know that you two need to start doing some trust exercises together to help you out and you can look some up on line or at the book store and if it's about some other fear then take action accordingly...Truth is you have to let go..I would get a dog or a cat or something that you can have around besides him that will love you and let you comfort it. Don't get birds haha unless you get a love bird cause they are not as affectionate as you are going to need it to be. I would go for a dog or something you can really PET and love on that will help you feel secure you know what I mean? So do that and see how it goes :) Peace
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Hi Alicia, I think that you might have some trust issues when it comes to your husband. It is completely normal for you to feel some sort of anxiety when he's not around, but you have to try to occupy your time by maybe going to the spa or getting your hair done, when he wants to go out with his buddies.
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