about

My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

Im a 20 yr old female and my question today is how can i get over molestation and rape? Growing up and becoming a woman wasnt easy with all the harassment I've been through. I've been through some type of sexual harassment during my lifetime and I've gotten raped as well this happened about a year ago. I use to live with my ex boyfriends mom and at the time i slept in a room alone. During this time i was on medication for a heart condition i have and it would put me to sleep and make me weak. I remember more thas one night someone would come in the room and harass me sexually i didn't know who but i know it was a male because i ended up pregnant. I need help getting over this because it sometimes interferes with my present life now. Please help

Let me first say how sorry I am that you have had to endure this. No women should have to endure what you have had too. IF you had the baby or are still pregnant with the child it is easy to find out who the father is and who is responsible for raping you and charging him with rape. A simple paternity test; which is a DNA test of the male members of that house you lived in will tell the story.

You never truly get over being molested or raped. What you do is, with the right type of professional help, you can learn how to properly deal with what has happened to you so that you can move on with your life. To help you with this I am recommending you call an organization called RAINN.

RAINN stands for Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. They operate a 24/7 hotline that when you call them connects you to a crises center near you. The people who take your call are trained to help you and will help you find the proper professional to work with you to deal with what has happened. Including helping you find legal advice and making the proper police reports. Their number is 1-800-656-HOPE.

You are a victim and one way to start healing and put this properly in your past is to get proper closure. Closure can include seeing the perpetrator(s) or your rape and abuse properly punished.

Please call RAINN today and talk with them. They can and will help you, all you need to do is pick up the phone and call them.

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So I work at grocery store. There's this sweet man with special needs that always come in, and I always smile and say hi. One day he came up to me and said "HEY, you're the friendly lady!" I laughed and said "Yep, that's me!" so he goes to give me a hug, and his hand swipes my boob in the process. Totally innocent, it was an accident. But as soon as his hand came in contact with my boob, all the hairs on my neck stood on end and I could feel a surge of adrenaline, and my eyes widened. I knew I wasn't in any danger, but my body just did that on its own! Another instance is when a coworker wanted to get a closer look at my name tag, and his hand bumped my boob. Again, a total accident, but the same thing happened. Just a quick surge of terror. Why is that? Is this normal? Has this happened to anyone else? THANKS

I would say yes it is very normal. A woman's breasts are a very intimate part of her body more so than her Butt. Every one has a Butt but only women have breasts and they are very much a sexual object for the opposite sex even though they are not truly apart of your sexual or reproductive system.

A woman's Breasts are part of the intimacy of sex but play no part in the actual reproduction until after the birth of a child. It is because of the part a women's breasts play both in the intimacy of sex and the part after a child is born is why you and other woman are so protective of them.

A women's Breast are also a part of her sexual image just as a mans penis and testicles are. So yes It is not abnormal for you or any women to be guarded when someone accidentally touches them. They are not to be touched without consent even accidentally as your Breast are very much a part of who you are and how you identify yourself.

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i ran away and i need help im sad and im 13 i dont know wat to do

You did not say why you ran away which makes it very hard for any of us to offer any advice other than advice as to your safety. Please go to the nearest Police or Fire Station. These are SAFE HAVENS for women and children. Tell the Fire Fighters or Police Officers you need help.

If you ran away because you felt you were in real danger they will see to your safety. You will not be sent home until social services and the Police make sure it is a safe environment for you. Most likely you will be sent to a foster home or a children's center where it is safe.

Most important is to get you off the street, if that is where you are presently living and into a safe warm environment. Then there are policies and procedures that must be followed to see to your safety.

If for instance you have been physically or sexually, or mentally abused. You will not be sent home until the police have dealt with and removed your abuser from your home.

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I recently broke up with my boyfriend of two years after a struggle of about 1 year and 6 months for our relationship to get better.

Let me explain, when we met he was happy, cheerful, kind, generous and had many friends that loved him. He treated me well and we had an amazing time together. About 6 months into our relationship he injured his back and had sciatic chronic pain from him. Since then he completely changed, he became extremely selfish, mean, didn't want to do anything anymore, and alienated all of his friends. We fought all the time and finally he said it was because he was depressed. I helped him see a psychologist and get help and he seemed to be getting better then went back to being nasty. I finally couldn't take his negativity and hate for everything anymore and broke up with him. it just felt like he didn't care/wasn't going to change.

A week later he came back to me crying and with some intense emotions about how he couldn't stay away because he loves me so much. And he tells me he had been taking painkillers for his back originally but when the pain went away he didn't stop and was addicted to them for two years. He says he believes this is why he has been such an a**hole to me it controlled his life and made him not want to do anything, get mad at everything and treat me as bad as he did. He says he is done with them and quit completely and took a week to go through the withdrawals and will never take them again and he wants to prove to me how this past year has not been him and he's really not like that.

My dilemma is whether I should forgive him or believe him. Does opiate abuse turn people into jerks, makes them mean or have anger issues, and makes them depressed, pushing everyone away? Does anyone have experience with this that can give me some advice on wether it's smart to take him back. And also is it possible for someone to stop addictive behavior? Even if he stops for now won't he start up again?

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Let me say I know somewhat where your boyfriend was or is with chronic pain. I was disabled in a car accident and suffer from chronic pain.

I am treated as an out patient at a local rehabilitation hospitals Pain Management Center. As part of my pain management I take a regiment of non-narcotic drugs daily to help with the pain. I have narcotic pain pills to use as what is called break through medication for those times when the pain gets to a point I can't bear it. This happens on occasion and I use them only to break the cycle of pain. I have other things such as a TEMS Unit and creams that will also help break that occasional pain boost.

The pain center also has other procedures they do to place medication at the site of my pain. This helps reduce the pain by reducing the inflammation.

Then there is the cycle of pain, this is what causes depression. I spent a long time in talk therapy learning about this and how to deal with it. Talk therapy is part of the pain management program. Pain causes depression, depression causes more pain. You need to control the pain in order to control the depression. The pain causes stress which is the primary cause of depression, clinical depression, which causes pain.

My injury is to the SI Joint which is very much like the pain your boyfriend is in. I will spend the rest of my life with the pain management center to control my pain. This is just a fact of life for me and I would say for your boy friend. The difference between us is my injury is skeletal where his is nerve. Nerves heal eventually mine won't.

My suggestion is that you ask your boyfriend to seek the help of a good Pain Management Clinic. He can ask his family doctor to recommend the best one in the area. Pain Management doctors are Anesthesiologists; they know about pain and how to treat it. He also needs to get back into therapy to learn how to spot the triggers that cause depression and how to deal with them.

When I was first injured I had a very bad depressive episode mainly because of dealing with being permanently disabled. I got better and he can too, with the proper help as I have suggested.

If he will do this I see no reason why you shouldn't get back together. If he won't then yes he can relapse or let me say there is a better chance he will relapse.

I hope telling my story not only helps you but helps him as well.

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A couple of months ago my BF started acting weird and he would zone out. We live together and he never cleans up his messes. I am pregnant and I need him to help out. But last week he called me from work and told me he was going out with another girl. We broke up, and I am terrified. I needed him and now he's gone. I am alone and I need help. My friend told me to get another BF ad by the time my baby is born, I'll have a father. The only other person in my life is my ex(a different one) but he is a sex addict and I can't have sex!

Your baby's father can't palm off his responsibilities by telling you to find another boyfriend to be the baby's father. The law is on your side here. As the father he is financially responsible for this child now until the day it reaches 18 years of age. He can claim not to be the father. All that will do is have the court order a paternity test. Once the results of that test are received and he is proved to be the father, the courts will order financial responsibility.

This includes monthly child support payments, life insurance to cover those payments through the child's 18th birthday, keeping up health insurance for the child and any other things children need while growing up.

What I suggest is you seek the help of a family law attorney. IF you can't afford one go to the legal aid society in your town for help. They will draw up the legal papers needed and represent you in court if it comes to that.

Do this now while they can still find him and garnish his wages. If they cannot garnish his wages they garnish any tax return he may have coming to settle what he owes in child support.

No parent can walk away from their responsibilities to a child; the courts will not allow this. So see a lawyer of your choosing or seek the help of your local legal aid society but have the proper paperwork done to force the father to provide what he is required to provide.

As the saying goes; He had the fun, now it's time to take responsibility for the results.

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For the past few months my sister has been getting sick a lot. It seems like a normal cold/flu sometimes but other times shell just wake up puking and sleep all day claiming shes sick, and then is better the next day. I starting to think she's doing some kind of drugs because her boyfriend is a low life and influences bad things upon her. I know for a fact they smoke some kind of pills on foil. No specific facts about that though. The past few weeks she's allllways complaining shes really tired and she always has a headache or a migrane. A lot of times she blames it on stress, but that seems pretty far fetched to me. She gets probably 7 hours of sleep from what I can tell, which should be plenty (unless she's staying up all night and I'm not aware) she's also always broke. Idk where all her money goes either. Shes never been a very smart person with her money or doesn't make smart decisions so I'm starting to worry that her boyfriend is getting her into bad things that are causing these problems. We've lost closeness since he's been around so I can't ask her myself because I know I won't get a straight answer.

I'm 18, she's 24, her boyfriend's 27.

None of us are doctors so we cannot really make any type of diagnoses here. From what you have written it sounds like your sister is doing some type of drugs and experiencing the low of withdrawal after a night of drug partying.

I have unfortunately seen this all to often in answering calls with my fire department rescue squad. Much of what you have written are the complaints we are given and what we see when we arrive.

You should talk with your parents and family about an intervention before something worse happens. Right now they may think they are just partying or experimenting. Problem is there are a lot of bad drugs on the street and experimentation can do more than cause the reaction you are seeing. It can be life threatening.

Is it possible she is pregnant? Probably not. It sounds like she has an IUD from what you said. At least that can't be compromised by the drugs. But if she is pregnant she needs to see her GYN to see if it is safe to remove it.

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Hi I am a female young. I was sexually assaulted walking home from work a few months ago. Fully raped. After that I got a persistent yeast infection that took six months to go away and I still have night sweats. I also have muscle and joint pain here and there. I was checked for stds and hiv at ten weeks after the incident then again at three months and again at six months and all negative. What are the chances of a six month negative turning positive later? I'm so anxious and everytime I get the night sweats I just go into panick mode. I don't deserve to get hiv like this . I'm devastated.

The chances of a negative test turning positive are extremely small.

That being said let me say how sorry I am that you have gone through this. Rape is a horrible thing to endure. It is not something you can overcome by trying to deal with on your own or trying to ignore that it ever happened. Since you have not said if you have had any professional help or crisis intervention I am going to recommend you make the falling phone call.

The organization I am recommending you called is called RAINN. RAINN stands for: Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. They operated a 24/7 hot line you can call to speak with trained call takers who can help you and help you find professional in your home town who will work with you to properly deal with what has happened. You don't have to go through this alone or bear the burden of this by yourself. There are people who are trained to help you deal with this in a manner that hopefully will allow you to put this behind you and live a better more normal life than is you tried to just ignore this.

The number for the hot line is 1 800-656-HOPE. Remember one thing. You are a victim, you did nothing to cause this rape.

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I like this guy, weve known eachother for about a year but I'm just now coming to the realization that I'm pretty sure he's just being my "friend" because he wants to sleep with me. Is there any way to get him to actually be my friend? Lately I've been trying to hangout with him hoping we can actually do something instead of it being a make out session. I think I have a decent chance of him liking me if he gets
To know me I'm just awkward and shy and have a hard time being myself/friendly infront of people especially a guy that makes me so nervous. I just want to know if I have a chance atthis, because I don't want to wasted time trying jus to end up hurt. Idk how guys brains work unfortunately.

I'm 18, he's 19.

Why not be up front with him and tell him that you don't see him as a sex partner or that you are just not ready for sex if you are still a virgin. Don't lead him on just to keep him as a friend. That would make you a tease and I don't think you want that either.

You are right about how guys think. Even at his age he still thinks more with the head in his pants then the one between his shoulders when it comes to relationships. There are guys out there who have come to realize that girls prefer guys who think first with the head that is between their shoulders. Who form relationships first and then move on to a more intimate relationship.

If he can't think with the proper head then throw him back in the ocean and find yourself another guy. He's out there you just have to keep fishing, as my mother use to me and my sister.

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Is Santa Maria and Santa Barbara safe? I have to be there for a few hours and I'm very terrified of what I've read of it being a "hit and run" place.

Fact is most places are safe especially during daylight hours. What you read in the papers and see on the evening news is not always a proper reflection of a city or town. Remember Newspapers and TV News are designed to peek your interest. Most people are not going to buy a newspaper or watch an evening news show that only has good news to report.

Every city and town also has it's good parts and bad parts. Find out where the bad parts of town are and stay away from then. In this way you should be able to enjoy your visit.

If your not sure which parts of town to stay away from you can call the local Sheriffs departments and ask. I'm sure they will be happy to advise you where not to go.

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Me and my partner have been together for 8 years now and we was just wondering if their are any good sex positions that we could try to help stimulate us both thank you for your help

If you really want to look at some different sex positions there is a book; The Kama Sutra. The Kama Sutra is an ancient Indian Hindu text widely considered to be the standard work on human sexual behavior. I bought this book when my wife and I were a young married couple. There are some really strange positions depicted in it some of which I wish you luck trying to figure out. Some of them we never did though it was fun trying.

You should be able to find this book in almost any book store or at Amazon Books. If this book isn't what your looking for just enter sex positions into a search engine and it will return a number of suggested sites to look at.

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i'm 18 years old , i'm a virgin , i and my bf were having fun , after sometime i found my panty wet with his pre ejaculation , all this happened on may 3rd and i was supposed to get my periods on may 8th but i dint get them , then i did a pregnancy test on may 25 which came out negative , so now can i be confident that i'm not pregnant ? I heard that unfertilized sperm lives in the body only till 6 or 7 days , is that true ?

Take another home test. If it is still negative I would say you are in the clear.

IN order to get pregnant you must be ovulating within 3 days of intercourse. For 80% of women they ovulate during the middle two weeks of their cycle. For the other 20% they can ovulate anytime during their cycle including while the have their period. If you want to find out when you ovulate there are kits you can purchase at the drug store.

From what you have written you were at the end of that 2 week window. While it is possible it is closer to unlikely that you had just ovulated.
Another home test will give you the answer as I'm told there are more false positives to these tests than false negatives. Check the box to make sure you are buying a test kit that is appropriate for the time span.

There are many reasons for a late or missed period. The biggest reason is stress. Stress of being worried about being pregnant is the biggest stressor and the cause of many missed periods.

You don't say were on you panties you found the pre-ejaculate. It would have to be almost dead on the opening of you vagina for the sperm to have any chance of swimming inside and impregnating you.

I realize you are a virgin, how long you intend to stay one only you know. Your 18 an adult now. I would suggest you consider birth control pills for two reasons. One they will regulate your period and two when the time comes you are protected. One other thing, no matter what, even though you may be on birth control. Do not let a man have sex with you unless he is wearing a condom. The condom is not only a second line of protection against pregnancy but protects against the transfer of many STDS and the HIV/AIDS virus. Even if you are both virgins do it right the first time. Unless of course you are married.

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Hi I am 14 years old and I have a boyfriend he does not go to my school but I have met him before in my old school and now we are dating. However, my Mom is aware but my dad is Super Over Protective and he would even spy on me when I would go to the Movies with my friends, so I need advice Urgently!!! What should I do I wanna see my boyfriend so badly but I'm afraid tht my dad will catch me ! :( Please Help ! Thank you .
-ForeverLoveKimx3

First you have to understand something about us dads when it comes to our daughters. While a son is expected to grow into a man a daughter is always going to be daddy's little girl. Even when she is a grown up and has children of her own. It may not be right but it is the way it is.

Now I am old enough to be your grandfather and I realize times have changed since I had any children your age. At 14 I would be judged as over protective also as I would not allow any other than the group dates such as going to the movies with a group of friends. IF your boyfriend was among the group of friends I would approve. To single date that would be no.

It is not that I don't trust you. If I raised you then I should trust you. Having once been a 14 year old boy, I don't trust him. Boys his age confuse lust and love. Love to him and you are very different. Love to him is lust. He wants only one thing, sex. He is hard wired since puberty to have sex. His raging hormones demand he finds sex, so he tells girls he loves them and if they love him they will have sex with him. This is what fathers fear for their young daughters, especially with first loves.

The problem is that they/we do not explain this to you because we fear you won't listen to us, as we are just your parents and what do we know we are just old. Fact is we are older and have done everything you have done and will do; this is why we can be so over protective.

Okay now that I've explained this to you how do you get dad to loosen up a bit. You could start by having a talk with him. You could tell him that some kindly old man on an advice sight has explained to you what 14 year old boys are all about and why he is so concerned. Now that you know you can promise him that your boyfriend has as much chance of getting what he wants as an ice cube has in warm places. If your dad is the dad I think he is then I think you have started a good conversation that hopefully ends with some lifting of restrictions for you. It would also help if you brought the boy home to meet dad.

My wife tells me that when she was your age her father insisted that boys come to the house. One look from him and the boys knew better than to try anything.

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Just to start off,i have researched but struggled to find a similar case to mine with any solid answer online,so your help would be much appreciated.
Im 15 years old and have had fordyce spots for as long as i can remember but only found out that not everyone has them yesterday and i only found out what they are called.i have often squeezed them to make the puss come out but this one spot has reacted strangely and grown hugely in size.it is now a big red bump on my penis and a swollen red area around it.i do shave my pubes with a razor,masterbate and as i already said,pick at these spots.i am meant to be going to my girlfriends house in a week when her parents are out,so i need my penis looking normal incase i get a hand/blow job.is this a normal problem to have?what is it?will the swelling have disappeared and turned back into a normal spot in a week?and finally are fordyce spots a turn off for girls as this might be my first time getting lucky.thanks a lot in advance for any help i recieve.

In general from what I read about Fordyce spots they are for the most part non cancerous and need no specific care other than normal hygiene. You should not be picking at them or trying to squeeze them. The fact that you have one on your penis is a normal growth spot for a Fordyce spot.

Now for the one that has brown puss coming from it. This one needs to be seen by a doctor as it may have become infected. Puss should not be coming from them at least not brown puss as these spots are oily spots.

I would suggest seeing your primary care doctor first who may want you to see an urologist given where the spot is located. As for any type of sex with your girlfriend in the coming week(s). I would say it is best to forget about it as well as to try not to masturbate for now if masturbating rubs at the Fordyce spot. The less you do to aggravate the possible infection the better until you get it treated.

Given that you are 15 years of age under a law called HIPPA, which is a federal law. You do not have to tell your parents if you do not want to. Under this law you may make an appointment to see a doctor and be treated for this without parental consent or knowledge for the problem is related to your reproductive system. The HIPPA law gives anyone over the age of 14 total medical confidentiality over their reproductive system.

Parents cannot see you medical records regarding anything to do with your reproductive health without you expressed written permission and the doctors cannot discuss with them anything regarding your reproductive health without that written permission.

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ok so i have developing boobs and my pipples are normal size and everything's okay with them, im 15 and a virgin, ive never breastfed but my nipples look cracked, like the very tip is kinda chapped looking.... what do i do? they look okay but they are clearly cracked looking, the normal color is fine, and they've been like that for a few years....

Your nipples sound normal. They are not bleeding or excreting any type of fluid so that is of no concern. The fact that you are concerned says that you should allow someone to look at them and decide if there is reason for concern.

That being said; we all have nipples so we all know what a normal nipple looks like. Now I know it would be embarrassing to ask dad to look at your nipples but it should not be embarrassing to ask mom to look at them. You and mom both have nipples attached to breasts so mom won't be looking at anything she hasn't seen before and she has no reason to suspect you are having sex because your nipples may be cracked. As I said it is normal to be that way as long as they are not bleeding or feel uncomfortable as in burning or itching.

Nipples are made up of skin tissue which spends the better part of waking hours in tight fitting clothing. It is very possible the skin has become dry. Mom will know and she will also know how the best way for you to care for them is.

Their is no reason to be embarrassed in talking to or showing mom one or both of you nipples. Just take her aside where other family members won't here and talk to her.

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15/f
i have mild acne
i weigh 169 and im 5'5.5 (yes i aware im over weight im taking care of it, with diet and mild exercise)
i have a normal to heavy flow :/ and THE WORST cramps.
i also was to have sex one day, not necessarily today or even this year but id like to be prepared.
so what id like to know is would i gain weight? will it help my face? and my time of the month... any advise for the ... "pap test" im really freaked out about that...
and anything else you can tell me that will help. thank you so very much for all your help

Let me add to what Zane wrote.

Seeing a dermatologist for your acne is a good idea. Mild acne is a teenage curse and for young women it is sometimes made worse than for boys.

As for gynecology: Regular checkups are a must and something you have to do annually for the rest of your life. The PAP smear is the first line of defense in early detection of Uterine Cancer. My wife tells me the PAP smear and other tests doctors have for early cancer detection are painless.

You should also discuss with your doctor and your mom is if you wish the HPV vaccination. HPV has been known to cause cancer in some women and the virus is undetectable. There are pros and cons to this vaccination and you alone have the right to make the decision whether to have this one.

None of what I have written so far will have any effect on anything you have asked.

Congress passed a law called HIPPA. In that law is a portion that gives anyone over the age of 14 medical confidentiality over their reproductive system and rights. What this means is: Everything I wrote about above is strictly your decision to do or have. Mom cannot force you to see a doctor for any of this or can she stop you from seeing a doctor for anything concerning your reproductive system. Parents may not be told of anything you and the doctor discuss, are examined for or treated for. This is the medical confidentiality of the law.

Now for the heavy flow and cramps you have. Birth control pills may help control these problems and is something you should talk to your gynecologist about. You can do so as mom cannot be in the exam room with you without your consent. IF you want birth control pills for any reason the doctor must write the prescription. In your case it may be medically efficient to prescribe and mom cannot stop the doctor from writing the prescription.

No one can see you medical file for anything related to your reproductive health without your expressed written permission. If you were to become pregnant parents cannot force you or stop you from having an abortion if you chose either option.

Congress wrote this law not to give young people he green light to have sex. They wrote this law so that when and if they developed problems with their reproductive systems they would seek medical advice and treatment safe in the knowledge they could speak openly and freely with their doctor.

Most of your questions would be best answered by your gynecologist. Just tell you doctor or the receptionist that you wish to invoke your rights under HIPPA. Mom will be told she must wait in the waiting room if she is with you for the visit. You can also make appointments to see the doctor without parental consent or knowledge under this law. Health insurance will still cover the visit.

Just bring your health insurance card with. Your health insurance card is something that you are old enough now you should carry with you at all times.

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i have a bff who's 11, I'm 13. I've known her for ages, but recently I've noticed that she's become sort of obsessed with me. for example, my other friend introduced me to her new friends, so we became quite close, but my bff tried to brake our friendships by back-chatting and stuff. also, if a boy asks me out, and i tell her about it, she goes weirdly jealous and upset, as if she wants me to herself. loads of those kinds of things keep happening, which i hate. Also, she takes everything much too seriously. Like recently she asked if i could sleep over at her house, so i said maybe, but then i said i couldn't because i hate loads of homework, then for the rest of the day she was obsessing over whether i could go to her street party the next day. when i said i couldn't, she got really angry and tried to make me jealous by saying she was going to invite some other girl...I think I'm starting to not like her...What should i do?!! Thanks, and please don't say any negative things!!

Actually what is happening between you and your BFF is quite normal for the age group/ While two years difference in age is not huge. It is when the age difference is between a preteen and a teenage. She sees you drifting away from her. Whether you are or not is really not materiel. She perceives it to be therefor it is. Perception is 90% of reality at times.

You are growing and maturing this is a natural part of life. It is also natural for you to she her , at times as childish and child like, for she can an will be at her age.

I'm not saying she doesn't understand what is happening, it is more like she doesn't want to lose you and that is what she sees. What you need to do if you want to maintain the friendship is make her understand that you are still BFFs and always will be. What she needs to understand is that you are older and you are gaining new interests. Interest in things she may be to young for or just have no interest in. Because of this you are also making new friends.

What she really needs to understand is that is that even though you are growing up and maturing, finding new interest is that you will always be there fore her when she needs you. This is going to be hard to explain and something you may wish to enlist the help of her mother in explaining to her.

This two year age gap is going to be a problem for many years as you will for now and until you she is 16 or 17 always going to be ahead of her in things you can do that she may not be allowed to do. If you continue to be BFFs this will continue to be a point of contention with her.

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My principal and assistant principal mistreat me and disrespect me. In fact, my mom is frustrated with them as well.

Here's why:
- A few months ago, they tried to get me stuck in a mental hospital, and they had no reason to do so.
- My parents, the psychiatrist, and therapist do not want me on medication. However, the principal has been trying to force me into taking it.
- I am also bisexual, and I feel that they mistreat me because of it.
- They accuse me of being a liar. For example, when I told the principal that I stopped cutting myself (and I was being honest!), she said, "Why should I believe you?" The nerve! And the assistant principal told me to not say things that aren't true and not lie -- even though all I've done is be honest about what I think.
- They act phony and insincere around me -- like they pretend to care but obviously don't. It's annoying.

I can't stand this anymore!

School administrators can be a royal pain in the butt. They base their thoughts on students based on what the teachers tell them and what their psychologist tell them. Teachers want students medicated for they feel students who may be disruptive or hurting themselves are easier to handle if they are medicated out of their skulls.

I had the same problem with my son and the local school system. They tagged him with a label and that was that. Turned out the label was wrong and he was just plain bored in the classes they assigned him to. Once we got him faster more interesting classes he did better and wasn't disruptive.

The problem is you are one of several hundred student they have to deal with each day. Expediency says they follow the advice of their experts. That is not only wrong it is also against the law for them to force any medication on you without parental consent.

What we had to do and what mom may have to do is get a lawyer involved. The lawyer first meets with your school principal. When a lawyer enters the picture in most cases the principals will back down. While they have funds to fight legal battles those funds are limited and they have to pick and chose their battles carefully.

The first visit with a lawyer is usually free. Let the lawyer tell you how they wish to proceed. The lawyer may wish to go right to the Superintendent of schools and file an action against the Principal and the assistant or talk with them first.

In any case based on my own experience with my son and his school I believe it is time for mom to seek the aid of a lawyer.

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My boyfriend wants me to have sex with him but I'm only 12..... iI want to but then again I don't want to.... am I too young for this or should I do it?

The fact that in a sense you are asking permission to have sex with your boyfriend says you already know you shouldn't be having sex with him. That you are to young. He is probably also to young to be having sex as well.

Your boyfriend is going through puberty and his hormones are his driving force. That a peer pressure from his friends who for the most part are more talk then action. Young boys driven by their hormones can think of nothing else but satisfying the sexual urge they have. Hence the word horny.

Something else you need to know about young boys. There definition of love and yours at this age are quite different. Love to them is the same as lust. Once they satisfy their lust they for most boys will move on to someone else.

How do I know this? As hard as this is to believe, even though I am old enough to be your grandfather I was once a young teenage boy. Something else you need to know about young teenage boys. They cannot keep secrets. If you have sex with him every boy in school will know about it by the next morning, thanks to Facebook and other forms of electronic media. He may not make the posting and it may not actually have you name, still everyone who knows you two will know you did the deed together.

One other thing you need to know. The fact that you are going through puberty means you're body has started to mature and take on a womanly shape. It does not mean your vagina has matured enough to have sex. Even though you may be getting your period intercourse at your present age could and my be very painful for you.

Waiting until you're older by a few years will allow your body time to properly mature. Then when you are ready and with someone who knows the difference between lust and love. Someone who will see to your comfort and security so you can enjoy as painless first time as possible. Then you are ready for sex. That time is at least 4 years of if not longer.

If your boyfriend is pressuring you to have sex with him by saying something like, "If you love me you will have sex with me. or you can prove your love for me by having sex with me." He does not love you he lusts for you.

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I am a 67 year old British male. A long term relationship (some 30 years) with a lady has recently ended. This has left me feeling very down and lonely.We were never great ones for joining things (me more so than her) so I am at a bit of loss as to best way to get out in the world again, meet new friends and have a social life.
What are good ways of making new friends/social life for someone my age. Does volunteering help

Volunteering is certainly one way of meeting people and making friends. The best way I've found and the one I recommend is as follows.

Sit down with pen and paper and make a list of all the things you find of interest including religious events. These things could include bird watching, nature hikes, camping, cooking, photography, Bible Study, book groups. Whatever is of interest to you.

Once you have this list number them in order of interest to you. Then start with the top 5 or so and look for groups or activities that have these things of interests. If they are groups attend the meetings to see if you like the group. If so join. If it is an activity join the activity.

At any age, especially our age, finding something to talk about, to break the ice with is the hard part. These groups or activities provide the ice breaker, the common interest with which to start a conversation and from there you can build a friendship or relationship.

I hope this helps.

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My parents are selling illegal drugs. What should I do ? I don't wanna ne sent to foster home.

This is a hard situation for you as your safety is at risk. You would only be sent to a foster home if you had no other relatives to stay with. Since you parent are putting your safety at risk you have no choice but to go to the police

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