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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

Okay so I want to do a petition thing for school boards to change the way we do exams, I will spare the details but how do I go about this? I know change.org you can start petitions but how do I get someone from the school board to do something about it? I propose on making a persuasive essay saying why the school board needs to change things but I just need it to be recognized or else it's a waste of time.

The school board in my area has a student advisor on the board. This person is usually a senior student chosen from one of the high schools. It is this person job to advice the board on how students feel about certain issues.

If your school board has a student advisor to them I would suggest you arrange a meeting with that student. This student should also know the adult members of the board well enough to know which member(s)of the board may be willing to support your petition drive or to tell you if your petition drive would be a fruitless waste of time.

This same board member would also be the one to tell you if your petition would be more acceptable to the board if supported by teachers of the discipline you wish to change the testing in. There is also one other factor that this board member will be able to advise you on. Under new national standards testing is not always the choice of the board. They have to in many cases conform to state or national standards.

These are all things you would need to know before you start a petition. If you want to make a change you have to make that change at the right level. Your local school board may or may not be the right level. You need to do what is called due diligence to ensure you are petitioning the right entity to effect the change you wish to make. Then you can look for the proper format of the petition you wish to circulate.

Based on my limited knowledge of how school boards work; given the new Federal and state standards being thrust upon them. I feel you have not done the due diligence needed to start a petition.

Change is not a bad thing. Though to effect change takes a lot of time and effort. If you feel your cause is just, and I'm sure it is, then I urge you to continue to fight for what you think is right. You may not benefit from your efforts but others may.

21 f.
I miss my old friends. I moved to nyc a while ago and its been hard to make friends. Ive been in school and work for so long that I never really cared about having friends. Now that summer is here all I see on facebook are people out with friends or hanging out and that makes me so sad cause I cant do the same! Im not in school right now its summer break so I cant make friends there. Is there any other way I can make friends? Places? Sites? Seriously haha. I feel horrible knowing I cant just go to the mall with a girlfriend. Im not talking about a boyfriend btw haha. Just girl friends.

Thanks for any advice in advance:)

Having grown up in the NYC area I know how hard it is to make friends there. New Yorkers are hard to get to know as they tend to stay to themselves and, well not get involved in other people.

Dragonflymagic had some good advice for you. I will ad to it to trey going to your church of choice and getting involved in some of the church activities. Another way to make friends is to look for activities in your local area or school for that matter when it is back in session, that interest you. These activities can be anything that interest you.

What is great about these organized activities or clubs is there is a common interest to breakdown that wall between you and someone else, male or female. You have something in common to discuss. For the sake of discussion lets say you like to cook, which is something I like to do. The group is discussing a recipe and you say something like; wouldn't that be better if you added ________. A discussion takes place an people get to know you. Once the ice is broken friendships are born as well as relationships.

Another nice thing about discussions are that someone who might be afraid to approach you, a guy, can speak openly with out fear and get to know you before he decides to ask you out. Decides equals gets up the courage.

My suggestion is you sit down with paper and pen to make a list of all the activities you enjoy. Whatever they may be; cooking, biking, hiking, boating, swimming, bird watching whatever you enjoy doing make that list. Then number them in order of importance to you. Once you have your list take the top 5 and look for activities or clubs that are of these interest and check them out. If you like them join them.

I have made this same recommendation to others and they have written back to thank me as it works. Try this as I'm sure it will work for you.

Lost hare,eating min,mood swens and getting tin

Your question needs more information for me to answer you. Be specific in what is bothering you. Include your age and sex

hi ive been trying not to purge but I just did 12 times...13f btw. how does one stop being bulimic?

Bulimia is a very serious eating disorder that if not corrected can have a life threatening outcome. Forced vomiting causes the electrolytes in your body to become unbalanced. These electrolytes are what control how are body functions. Being out of balance can cause anything from kidney failure to a heart attack.

Am I trying to scare you, yes, by telling you the plain unvarnished truth about a very serious illness. One that takes professional counseling and supervision by a medical doctor to overcome.

Most likely you are hiding this from friends and family; most bulimics do. The first step to a cure is telling your parents what you have been doing. Will they be upset? Yes. Will they holler and scream? Maybe. Why? Because they will be terrified at what is happening. It is a normal reaction. Once they calm down and realize that screaming and yelling will not fix things they will contact your family doctor.

It is a normal reaction for a parent to scream at their child when they do something dangerous. Bulimia certainly falls into the category of dangerous. Try not to scream back at them as this only makes things worse. You know you are in serious health danger. Mom and dad are going to be scared, then they will settle down and do the right thing.

The fix for this illness does not happen over night. Depending just how bulimic you are and what if any physical damage you have done to yourself will determine how long you will need to be in treatment to recover. You will most likely need to see a medical doctor who specializes in eating disorders. You will also need to see a psychologist for talk therapy to find the root cause of why you turned to this and help you deal with the cause in a better manner. You will most likely need to see a nutritionist to help mom with meal planning if you are grossly under weight.

When you are under weight even by as few as 10 pounds you body starts to feed on itself which also upsets the electrolytes in your body. If you body does not get the nutrients it needs to sustain itself it starts to shut down things.

So what you need to do right now is talk to your parents and get the proper help. This is not something you can do yourself.

Hi I'm a vergin and I keep developing spots on my vagina but they come and go it can't be swet spots because I got in the bath every 2 days what can it be ?

This is the type of question none of us can answer for you. First because none of us are doctors. Second for it is the type of question that requires looking at the spots. One of the girls on this site may have experienced a similar problem but the cause may be entirely different.

The fact that they come and go leads me to believe it is nothing to serious, though it may need to be treated by a doctor. What you haven't said is when the spots appear, such as before, during or after your period or even if you have had your first period. All of this would be important to making a diagnoses.

The fact that these spots are on your vagina does not make this sexual. These spots could be an infection suck as a yeast infection, which women get or something else. This is something you need to tell mom about so she can decide if you need to see a doctor.

I'm sure mom will not embarrass you and ask to look at the spots unless she has to. If she does remember she is built just like you are and that she use to change you diapers. She has seen what you have and it really has not changed all that much since she last changed your diaper.

So my advice is to speak privately with mom and tell her of the spots. Let her decide if you need to see a doctor or if there is an over the counter product she knows of that could remedy the problem. These spots are no different than if you had spots in your mouth. So don't be embarrassed to tell mom.

I'm a girl and I really like this boy. why do I masturbate everyday when I think of him? Am I in love or just experiancing something?

This is a really good question which I'm glad you asked. It would have been better if you included your age as the question does relate to age. For the purpose of my answer I am going to assume you are between 11 and 14 in the early stages of puberty.

First what you are experiencing is all very normal. Are you in love? Not to the fullest sense of the word. When I was your age, back in the dark ages, my parents would have called this type of love, "Puppy love," a first of many loves a teenager will have before they become an adult an have a serious long lasting love relationship.

What is happening is all about the fantasy of love, the new hormones of puberty and becoming sexually self-aware. Through masturbation we can experience may things in a safe and secure manner. We also learn, at this age, many things about ourselves, our sexual likes and dislikes without really experiencing the dangers of actually having sex.

You masturbate to experience what you can't or know what you shouldn't experience with the boy you like. Everyone does this. Masturbation is practiced by 85% of the population according to a survey recently published.

It is just as possible there is a boy out there who has feelings for you that masturbates at night think of and fantasizing of you. For the ages I have assumed you are this is all very normal and a safe way to relieve the sexual tension brought on by puberty.

I hope this answers your question.

Question for you women will you sleep with me

This is not a dating or sex site. This is an advise site. Your question has been reported to the webmaster. You hopefully will be banned for abuse of the site.

I'm staring off with the fact that I'm a female and 16 years old. OK, so me and my boyfriend who I love very much were kind of in an argument. He said he was going to go have sex with other b******, he then said he was playing around. I took it seriously, I was really upset, and still am now. I don't know if I should still be with him. He told me that he was really sorry and he didn't mean it. He felt really bad I noticed in his eyes. But anyways I haven't talked to him since this happened, I told him to just leave and go home. What should I do ? Should I forgive him ? Was it a little accident ?

I do not think it was an accident. I think he said what he said to get you to have sex with him. Young boys are hard wired to find sexual relief. Their definition of love is confused with that of lust. That and the fact they have no pressure of being the one who gets pregnant.

I'm fairly certain he said what he did expecting you to say, "no don't have sex with her, I'll have sex with you." When you didn't say that he turned on the charm so that you would forgive him and he would have another chance with you. Another line guys use is; "If you love me you will have sex with me."

Don't fall for these lines. As I said their concept of love is not the same as yours. Do not be pressured into having sex with someone when you are not ready. Remember if an accident happens your the one that has to tell her parents she pregnant not him. You're the one that has to deal with being pregnant, being an unwed teenage mother and all that goes with it. As for him for at least the next few years until he is 18 and can be taken to court for child support; he is free to go off and have fun, finish high school and go on to college if his parents will support him. You can do most of these things too but while raising a child.

My suggestion is you send him on his way. He is not loving you the way you love him. He is lusting for you. This is not a good relationship if it is based solely on ones lust for another.

I am 16. My bf is 19, we have been together for over 3 years. I love him very much, with all my heart. He has NEVER forced, pressured or even suggested we have sex, even though I've been 16 for over half a year. He always says, he is only ready when he is sure I am ready... but how will I know?

My mum is ok with it all, she really likes my bf, she says he treats me right. She has always said that when I am ready I will know, and as long as it is for love, and protected, she is ok with me having sex.

But how do I know? In my head it is like:

- I am scared (will it hurt? will I be good? what do I do? will i feel different after?)

- I am confused (we have done other stuff... I like the say it feels, i want to have sex)

- I am in love (I really do love him with all my heart)

But I seems to find excuses. Not excuses for other people, just excuses for me, in my own head. I don't want to regret it. Will I know?

At the end you will find a link I found some time ago answering this very same question for other young ladies. It would be a good idea for you to review the information and suggestions you will find by following this link. Those who I have given it to in the past said it was very helpful.

Before you decide to have sex with your boyfriend there is something else you must take into consideration. I know you have written that your mother approves that when you are ready for sex she will be okay with it. For as far as that goes that is all well and good.

The problem is you are a minor, below the age of consent in just about all states in the US. Your boyfriend is an adult over 18 years of age. Fact is if someone wanted to get him in real trouble the fact that the two of you are dating, even with your parents consent, can cause him to be charged with statutory rape. If you two were to be having sex then other REAL charges could be added to those of the rape charge.

At one time the age of consent was well below the age of 18 and there was a forbearance for age difference between two people dating. When the federal government enacted the no child left behind law most states raised the age of consent to 18 so that a student could not drop out of school before then. In so doing the opened up Pandora's box for a host of sexual charges against people such as your boyfriend in dating people younger than himself.

My suggestion is that you check the laws in your state to see just if any trouble your relationship could cause your boyfriend before you go any father. Will the police come looking for your boyfriend. No, someone will have to report him or he will have to fall into some other trouble with the law. This is not the type of c rime the police go looking for though when made aware of it they must investigate and place charges if the report they get is found to be true.

My suggestion to check the laws in your state falls under the heading of; "Better safe than sorry." As promised below is the link that should answer all your questions.

http://www.pamf.org/teen/sex/virginity/readyornot.html.

Okay i am 13 years old and i got my period at 10. At first my period would go off then go regularly. But now its flowing okay. But now on this week it supposed to come on. I dont know if its going to come on this week. But i do masturbate time to time. But i know i Cant get pregnant from that. So is this normal. Or should i worry. Please give me your advice.

Masturbation and your period have nothing to do with each other. Most likely if your period is late it is due to stress.

We have seen a large number of questions on this subject this week from young girls your age. My answer to them and you is this.

Stress will cause your period to be late or even missed. Given the time of year it is you have been studying for finals, possibly for the first time as a high school student, This is very stressful. This also causes you to have a change in diet, and lifestyle. All of these things individually can affect a women's menstrual cycle. Combine them and it is almost a certainty.

Now your period is also a normal bodily function just like any other bodily function you have. Your mom has the same bodily function. You should not be embarrassed to go to mom with questions such as these.

I understand that you think the first thing mom is going to do is possibly yell or scream at you is that have you been having sex and are you pregnant. You can avoid this by simply saying up front. "Mom I am a virgin and my period is late." "Is there something wrong, do I need to see a doctor?"

I don't think you need to see a doctor for as I said I think it is the stress of final exams and the end of the school year at work here. I will also let you in on a little secrete. Most moms are well aware of their daughters cycle and look for signs that their periods have come. My mom would check the wastepaper basket in the bathroom my sister and I shared for signs my sisters period arrived. I caught her checking one of my sister discarded sanitary napkins one Saturday morning.

I'm fairly certain you mom is well aware of when you period is due and is either not concerned at this time or waiting for you to come to her. So be proactive and tell her. Take her aside and start by disarming her with the fact that you are not sexually active. Then tell her your period is late. I'm positive mom will be understanding and helpful.

I'm 13 and in the U.S. I have been liking this one boy for almost a year. And everyone keeps telling me that I am too young for a boyfriend. What age is too young??? And how do I avoid the comments like you're to young???

Are we talking boyfriend or boy friend. They have the same meaning to some people but they are different. If you mean boyfriend then yes you are to young.

At your age boys your age and up until they are, for some, into their early twenties, love and lust mean the same to them. They are out for one thing and only one thing, SEX. They use lines like, "If you love me you will have sex with me.

Sex is not away you prove your love for someone. Sex is an extension of two peoples love for one another. Sex should be mutual and for the right reasons, something that you understand better and be more understanding of as you grow older and more mature.

Right now boys get to have all the fun of sex but for now do not suffer any of the consequences. They are not the ones who have to tell their parents they are pregnant. They do not suffer the indignity of being a teenage parent, unwed mother. They get to go out and continue to have fun while your stuck at home raising a child. They can do this until they are 18 and you can take them to court for child support.

Remember this each time some boy feeds you a line about if you love him you will have sex with him. This is why as parents we tell you that you are too young to have a boyfriend. It is not that we don't trust you, we don't trust the boys. As a father I know what teenage boys are like, I was once one myself as was your father.

Now having a boy friend is different. A boy friend is someone you can hang out with at the mall. Someone you can be with at parties, walk the halls with at school, have lunch with and maybe walk to school with. This is not considered dating. When I was your age I had a girl friend and this is what we did.

I cannot tell you when you will be old enough to have a boyfriend and go out on dates as this is something that each parent has to decide. Part of how we decide this is based on trust. Not so much as the trust we have in you as that is pretty much a given. As parents, especially dads, we have an inherent distrust in the boys you will be dating. If you want to score big points with dad; make sure the boy comes over to meet dad before you go out on a date. Any boy willing to meet you parents before dating you will score big trust points with your parents.

Hi!! My boyfriend has been recently diagnosed with urinary tract infection..Even so, we've been having sex ; and he hasn't worn a rubber..Can this be risky, dangerous or something?? Because I haven't had any strange symptoms ever since..thanks in advance!!

Any time you have sex with someone who has an ACTIVE infection there is risk of the infection being transmitted to you. In a sense you could say it is a sexually transmitted disease.

Here is the mediating factor. Once someone has been on antibiotics for 24 hours it is assumed that the infection can no longer be transmitted to another. Meaning you cannot infect another person. What I am not so sure about is if this includes the swapping of bodily fluids such as semen and saliva. Had you boyfriend worn a rubber it may have only reduced the chances not eliminated them, if you kissed or had oral sex.

Incubation periods for transmitted infections vary anywhere from 10 days to 30 days. Chances are you will not get his infection. If you do it may result in you getting some other type of infection or a urinary track infection as well.

I'm surprised given your age that your boyfriends doctor did not tell him to refrain from sex for a period of time.

Note: If you had a yeast infection and had sex with him before were aware of the infection. His urinary infection could be the result of your yeast infection.

HELLO!,

Wats up?! So I'm having issues with my stupid iPod. I go to the app store in it and choose a FREE game I want to install. Something pops up and says" IOs 4.3 or 5 is required" or if not it will say," This app is INCOMPATIBLE for this iPod Touch." I want to fix that dumb problem. Ps: I Have the 2nd generation. Anyway, I hook my iPod to my PC, go to iTunes, Click on " Robie's iPod", then click "Restore" or some thing like that. But it doesn't let me. If I try to sync games on to my iPod from iTunes In my computer, it doesn't sync onto my iPod. I tried to jail brake it too. So, it's probably just the generation or the IOs. Still just help. THX ;)

You have an unfixable software problem. Your IPod only supports IOs below 4.3 The current IPod 5 is IOs5 or higher. You cannot upgrade the software on your IPod 2 above what it is capable of supporting.

These devices have built in obsolescence and at some point they will not support any of the games you presently have as the games will be upgraded to the new higher IOs.

What I suggest is if you want to upgrade your IPod at the least expensive cost is to search the web for an IPod4. Some of the bidding sites such as Amazon still have them available and they are selling them well below the original price or you can bid on them and try to score one below its value.

I had the same problem with my IPod2. I was able to get a 4 at Wal-Mart at Christmas right after the 5s came out as they were dumping inventory to make way for the 5s. If you search I'm sure there are some new in the box 4s still out there that retailers are trying to get rid of.

I am 58 years old. I have been sick mentally and have not been able work for the last 5 years.
I can not function or focus in my daily activities. I am disable as far as working any place due to memory problems. How can I apply for disability insurance or early retirement with IRS,
THANKS
PAUL SAKAKI

It is probably to late to apply for any private disability insurance you had through your employer unless you kept the insurance up on your own. If so call the company that insures you and talk to a claims agent. They will send out the proper forms for you to fill out and submit to them.

As for Social Security you are too young for early retirement though you may qualify for disability. Use the following link

http://www.ssa.gov/pgm/disability.htm

to go to the SSA page. On the left hand side you will see a tab APPLY FOR DISABILTY. click on this tab and follow the instructions to print out the forms. There are several pages and you need to fill out all the questions and give all the contact information for the doctors you have seen for this problem.

Once you have completed the form contact your local SSA field office and make an appointment to submit the forms. This is better than just mailing them back as someone will review them with you to make sure they are completed properly before they are forwarded to the right office. You can expect SSA to send you to their own doctor before making a decision.

This is a lengthy process that can take 3 to 6 months or more. You can also expect to be turned down on the first application, they do that a lot. You have the right to appeal any rejection. You can do that yourself or hire one of the lawyers you see on TV that specialize in obtaining SSA Disability coverage for you. You can also do that for the initial application if you want but it is not necessary from my thinking. They only get paid if they gain coverage for you and then it is a portion of your first three checks I believe.

Note: Paul never put your full name on anything like this website or other Internet sites.

My daughter just started her period and the month after that she didn't have one and it's been 3 months since then. I know FOR SURE it's not pregnancy but I have no idea what it could be.

It is quite normal for a young girl to have irregular menses when first starting her menstrual cycle. Gaps of several months to even a year are quite normal.

IF you are this concerned I would suggest you consult with your GYN. If the doctor feel the need to examine your daughter then you will be asked to bring her in for an examination. I doubt that will be the case.

I'm 13. I have this weird way of thinking about guys. I think about their shoe size and then my mind wanders to the penis. I stop myself a lot. But then I think when is the right time to lose my virginity to one of those penises???? O_o

Your mom and dad have warned you not to have sex most likely until your married. There is good reason for this but it is also hypocritical of parents to say this as most parents were not virgins on their wedding night. About only 10 to 15 percent of parents may have been and that is being very liberal.

I'm older more of a grandparent age and much more liberal in my views on sex. What I believe is more like what Zane said. Since you are the one who will ultimately end up having to raise a child, the one who has to go through the embarrassment of being an unwed mother. You should refrain from sexual intercourse until you are old enough to raise a child on your own and financially able to do so.

There are other reasons as well not to have sex at your age.

First: Boys your age do not define love as you do. Their definition of love is more the definition of lust. Many boys will say if you love me you will have sex with me. This is not love this is pure lust.

Second: When it comes to sex boys cannot keep a secret. They need to tell their friends they are now a man as they have fulfilled their manhood by having sex and maybe deflowering a girl as well. This information spreads like wildfire through your school. Before you know it you have a reputation you can't live down and don't want or need. You will be popular for all the wrong reasons.

Third: Probably the worst of all is. You may never have sex again but just about anyone you date will say you had sex with him for he cannot look bad in front of his peers.

Don't believe any young boy who says it will be a secret between you and him. It never will; it is a line that every young boy uses to get what he wants from you. He is hard wired from puberty to have sex. It is the hormones from puberty talking. Hence the word HORNY.

I'm not saying you wait until your married. As I said that would be hypocritical of most any parent or grandparent these days to say. What I am saying is wait another 5 years until you are old enough and mature enough to handle an unexpected pregnancy.

Until then there are ways to enjoy mutual sexual relief without intercourse. There is oral sex and mutual masturbation where you give the guy a hand job and he fingers you. Just keep his penis away from your vagina as it is a fully load weapon capable of doing great harm to you if you are not prepared. The boy gets to walk away almost Scott free. You suffer through the pregnancy and then face raising a child on your own.

There is also singular masturbation, where in the privacy of your bedroom you relieve your sexual tension. Your fantasies are right for your age. To act on them would be very wrong.

i masterbate daily 2 or 3 times after that i get pain at my pennis whats the reason

I really can't say other than this shouldn't be happening. Is it possible you are being to rough with your penis. If not then you may need to see a doctor.

I could better answer this question if I knew your age. While there is nothing wrong with masturbating I'm sure you don't want to go to you dad and say your penis hurts after masturbating and you need to see a doctor.

Depending on how old you are you may be old enough, under a Federal Law, which would allow you to seek a doctors help for this as your penis is part of your reproductive system. By this law if you are old enough you can seek help from a doctor for any reproductive system concerns without parental consent or knowledge with total confidentiality.

Write back and tell me your age and I will tell you more about the law and how it applies. You can private message me if you like.

Okay i am 13 and i had difficulty with my period when it came on at first. But now it come on regularly. But It supposed to be the week for it to come on. I haven't been sexually active. So is this normal or what. I really need advice.

There are many reasons for missing a period other than being pregnant. Among them are stress, illness, change in diet or activities and other things. If you are on or have taken antibiotic medication this could throw off your cycle as well. A women's menstrual cycle is delicately balanced and it does not take much to throw it off, especially in a young women as you.

Stress is the leading cause of missed periods. Given the time of year it is, with school finals and everything that goes into studying for them. I would not be surprised that you are or have been stressed by this and your normal routine has also been altered as you study or studied for finals.

NOTE: Your period is nothing sexual. It is a normal bodily function. Yes parents first thoughts may be that you have been sexually active if you go to them for advice with something like this. They are the ones, especially your mom who will know what to tell you better than any of us for she knows you best and she like you has the same bodily function.

What you do to avoid the awkward or fly of the handle response is you say: "Mom I have to ask you a question but you need to know I am still a virgin" or Mom I have to ask you a question but you need to know I am not sexually active and my periods is late what could be wrong." You of course do this some place private where it is only you and your mom as I'm sure you don't want to be overheard by any brother or sister you may have.

I will also let you in on a secret. Most moms are very aware of their daughters menstrual cycle. My mother would look for evidence of my sister period by checking the waste paper basket in the bathroom my sister and I shared.

I'm fairly certain that if your mom is like most mothers she is aware your period is late. If she were concerned she would have said something to you, will be asking you about it shortly or waiting for you to come to her.

Why not take the worry away from mom and avoid the embarrassment for both of you by having mom come and ask you. Go to her and ask her what to do about a late period not related to sexual activity.

I've been in a situation when me and mom don't get along and it's gotten worse i live with my dad and step mom while my mom lives two hours away I don't get to see her often and when I try to she doesn't have time for me I have been talking to people like my dad about it but every day it eats me up I get upset about her and it hurts me I've gone to council ing but she told me it was my fault and I ruined our relationship when I left I was 8 at that time and now I'm 15 I miss my mom so much but I hate feeling like I'm walking on eggshells when I'm around her we constantly fight and I don't know what to do anymore I'm tired of crying at night any advice?

Let me make one thing perfectly clear; You did not ruin your relationship with your mom. It is not your fault, you were 8 years old there is no way you could have ruined the relationship between you. She is blaming you for what is really a problem between her and your dad.

The true casualty of divorce is the children. At age 8 you had no choice as to which parent you lived with. This was decided either between your parents at a conference table with their lawyers or by a judge in family court.

What this means is either your mom voluntarily gave up custody of you to your father as part of her agreement to a divorce or at trial the judge felt you would be better cared for by your father. In either case you had nothing to do with who you lived with so I see no reason to your mom say your leaving ruined your relationship. That is just anger and spite being placed on you where it doesn't belong.

I know exactly how you feel for different reasons. You see I was the accidental child and while my parents stayed together also having another child, my sister. My father never showed me the same love and affection he showed for my sister. In fact he always blamed me for any problems that befell him. It took a long time, well into my adult years and a lot of therapy before I understood this. In fact the last 10 years of his life he and I never spoke. I will not go into why other than to say he finally crossed that imaginary line with one of his fits of rage. I wrote him, told him off and that was the end of any relationship I had with him. Do I miss him? No.

Why have I told you this. From what you have written you mom does not deserve your tears. She is the one who has decided what her relationship is with you. You are 15 now old enough to decide what if any relationship you want to have with your mother.

IF when the times you see your mother,as part of the divorce decree, you are now old enough to say no, I don't wish to see her. There is no reason you should be forced to if you have to walk on eggshells around her. If she has no time for you and you are left to fend for yourself that is not right.

IF your dad and step mom are caring for you as good parents should then this is where you belong. You have not written otherwise so I will assume life at home is good.

She may be your biological mother that does not mean she is a real mother. Your step mom may be the person who is supplying the love and devotion a mother supplies. If this is the case with you then you should talk with your father. As I said your old enough now that you can decide if you want to see her. He can have the visitation changed which I believe is in your best interest for now.

You can do as I did and write her, tell her how you feel. Then see what and if she writes back to you.

Im only 14 I HATE MYSELF i have scars on my wrist and thats why.. I want to know how to get rid of them without surgery!! Please! Someone! Anyone! Let me know!! I want my scar free wrist back. I'll do anything to have it back. Please sometime help fast! I can't take it

I am very happy to hear you have stopped cutting yourself. I'm someone that is old enough to be your grandfather and I would like to offer some grandfatherly advice.

First a question: Do your parents know you have been cutting? If the answer is no, then the first step is to tell them. Why? They need to know so that they can help you not only to get your wrist back as close to what it was before you started cutting, but to help you fully recover from cutting yourself. You have taken the first step by asking us for some help.

I'm a little concerned about your use of " I HATE MYSELF", this tells me that the reason you cut may still be in you. We can get your scars reduced. We also need to help you find why you started cutting and fix that reason as well.

Ordinarily reduction of scars as it is called is not covered under medical insurance as it is considered cosmetic surgery. In your case because the scars were caused by your cutting they can be covered or may be covered by your parents health insurance with the proper treatment for the reason you cut.

The start to all this is to tell your parents that you have been cutting and ask them to arrange for you to see a psychologist. You may have to interview one or more psychologists to find one you comfortable with. You maybe more comfortable with a women. If so say so. He or she should be some one you are willing to tell your deepest secrets to comfortable in the knowledge that they go no further than where they are spoken. As you have full medical confidentiality in therapy.

While in therapy you tell the therapist how much you hate your scars. The therapist and a plastic surgeon will then work together to see if they can convince the insurance company to pay for the scar reduction.

Home remedies rarely work. There are some creams on the market that will lighten the scars but they will not heal them or make them go away. Anytime we get a cut no matter how it happens a scar is left behind.

A plastic surgeon will explain this better but what they do to reduce the scar is actually make a new scar in a place where it is not so prominent such as a natural crease; moving or eliminating the scar that was made by your cutting.

What you need to do is find a good plastic surgeon. One who is Board Certified in Plastic Surgery. This is the only true way to in essence eliminate the scars you have.

This all starts by telling your parents, if they don't already know. Then asking for the proper help to find out why you cut. Yes I know you believe you know why and that is good. The psychologist will want to hear this. There may be other factors, stressors as they are called, related to what you are telling him or her that they will help you uncover and deal with properly. Once you have dealt properly with the problem and have had your scars reduced you can properly put your cutting behind you.

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