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I'm Jessie. I've been on here on and off for about 7 years. I'm 22 :) I am currently in my final year of college studying English and new media I'm from Ireland I dye my hair way too much. I've been blonde,brown,brown with blonde,black,red,and blonde again!I love helping people I found advicenators when I was just 15 and didn't understand the world! I feel I have matured with this site. The people on here are amazing and I love coming on here in my spare time to be there for people in need. I won't tell you what you want to hear because that's not advice it's just fooling yourself. I try to help in whatever way I can I try not to judge and try to relate to a situation if I can. :) If you don't like honesty then you won't like my advice.
If you're kind enough to rate me please leave a comment letting me know if I helped! I love hearing that I have!
Please try to use proper grammar and be coherent.
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advice
okay. So my friend doesn't really seem like my friend too much anymore. Ever since middle school started my friend has just kind of dumped me. I wasn't in her class at the begining of the year, then i was through the rest of the year. She made a new friend at the begining of 7th grade, and introduced me to her when i got moved to her class. Now they always do everything together and always leave me out. I really do not know what to do. I miss hanging out with her like we did in 6th grade. Just help me please ! I don't know if i should say something to them or just keep getting left out of things until they notice. Then there's times that I do try to say something to them, but they get mad at me and leave me out of more things. Help !
Hey there,
this is a common situation but a horrible one at that,ive been there.
and i know how it feels when your best friend starts to hang around with a new girl I can totally relate the same thing happend me in 9th grade.
my friend was all about this girl,went to her house all the time seemed to forget about me if i was having a convirsation with her and the other girl came in she would literally jump up and run off to greet her.
but the bottom line is if she is a true friend,she will start to notice and realise how much she is hurting you and just dumping you like that,my friend did and we had a massive talk and she apologised and at first she was just so excited that this girl wanted to be her friend she forgot about her old ones,we are still best friends stronger then ever and she has learned alot from that.
but if your friend hasnt noticed by now then you need to talk to her away from this other girl and tell her exactly how you feel,if she doesnt seem to care or doesnt start to include you more then im sorry to say but she is not much of a real friend and is not worth the effort you don't deserve to be treated like that no one does its not fair,so i would say forget her and move on. she will soon realise what a mistake she made and hopefully she will learn that she cant go around dumping old friends for new ones she wont get very far that way.
if she doesnt understand then you are truely better off not being her friend.
I hope it doesnt come to that though,and that i helped in some way
much
ok im 15/f and i live in florida and i just wanted to know: is it weird that after a few relationships i don't want to really date anymore? and i have this one friend that i really like and i might want to date him but i like being single and i don't know if i should date him or not, and i don't know if he still likes me or not considering he's asked me out twice already. and my mom doesn't really like the guy but she didn't really meet him, and my friends say i should but then i don't know because he can lie occasionally
Hey there,no not weird at all!
okay bottom line,if you want to be single stay single.
im the same age as you and honestly after a while i found relationships to just be too stressful and too much effort when all i really wanted to do was just be free to have fun and go out with my friends and not be tied down be flirty with guys yet nothing serious like the comitment of a relationship sometimes it can be too much.
if single is what you want to be then stay that way for a while,and see how you feel you might feel after a couple of weeks that you want a boyfriend again,but dont let it be the centre of your life,worrying about needing a boyfriend. live in the now.
the friend that you really like concentrate on just being his friend for now and see if your feelings grow. don't worry about dating him Just yet get to know him more and then if you feel like you want to date again see him as a potential boyfriend and then worry about your mom and your friends theories on him lying.
hope I made sense and helped in any way
much
to make things easier the guy i like will be - j and his friends will be a
my two friends met last year at a party i had. i told her that i liked j and i kinda liked a so she walked up the j and was like hey want to make out. and they made out and i cried. i am still friends with her but still mad at her because she knew i liked him. and just last week i told her i like him. and that friday she made out with him again) i have a right to be extremely mad at her right? should i trust her agian?
xoxo thanks xoxo
Hey there,
yes you have the right to be mad at this girl.she doesnt seem like much of a friend if she purposly makes out with someone after you saying you like them,because thats all shes doing.
she doesnt even like him shes just doing it to get at you. a good friend if she liked this guy would have talked to you about it,and not even wanted to make out with him in respect for your feelings.
in my opinion this girl doesnt care,she doesnt seem like a good friend and she isnt worth it.
you don't need people like that in your life who hurt you like that,you deserve better friends.
as for the guy?who needs him. theres plenty of really nice guys out there let your "friend" have him,i gauruntee she wont want him when she finds out your not interested anymore then it will proove my point and youl know not to waste your time on her.
if you continue to stay friends with this girl i would advice not telling her anything about who you like,though what kind of friendship is that.
Hope you see where im coming from and that i helped :)
Much
15/f -i have a boyfriend of 11 months i love him so much but we fight nonstop. some friends ask how i put up with it n my only reason is that i love him. i really dont ever wana loose him but im starting to question a breakup what should i do, if we did breakup itd hurt us both so much but the fightings bringing me back to insanity and i start hallucinating again. but we also have alot of magical moments where we are on top of the world n i cant imagine anything better and were so deep in love were talking about when we have kids and our future. i love him so much but i cant handle the fighting anymore, what shud i do?
i also just started likeing a friend, and i feel so bad to like someone else, but does that mean me n my boyfriend are drifting? my boyfriend makes me cry atleast daily from the fights because he is very insecure n i try my hardest to help him, hes doing bad in school and he doesnt workout or do any kind of sports but is like pro guitarist. my dream guy is a guitarist, in great shape, secure in anything, smart and he is hott. and the guy i like has all of that plus hes 18. i designed his tattoo n he got it n shows me often as he flexs his muscles n smiles. he also sometimes helps me with what to say when me and my boyfriend are fighting. but he is my bestfriends brother, altho they are veryyy close so ther more like friends then siblings n us three went out yesterday and it was pretty sweet we kept flirting but i would stop and say something about my boyfriend to remind us both, but it was an overall best n sweetest time with my bestfriends, i like him, but i love my boyfriend even tho its tearing me up. but im never going to cheat. its a bipolar relationship eh, what do i do??
Hey there, =)
okay this is a tricky situation.
so im just going to put it simply to you, constant fighting where your extremely stressed out and it makes you cry everyday,or a break up that yes im not going to lie will hurt like hell and youl feel like crap for days but you WILL get over it.
so one big hurt or a constant cycle of hurt?
your only 15,the same age as me,do you really want to be thinking about spending years with just one person constantly fighting but staying together just for those rare but special moments?
or would you rather be free to enjoy yourself and have new expieriences go out with new people
this is the time when were supposed to be enjoying ourselves and going through different relationships to help us later on in life.
I think your current boyfriend is holding you back,and deep down your not truly happy,espically since your starting to like someone else.its your heart telling you,you need to move on.
In my opinion I think its for the best but its totally up to you,do what feels right.
dont hold back and stay in the relationship because of all the good times and magical moments you are going to have soo much more of them i promise you.
sometimes its better to just let go and look back and smile when you remember those times and move on.
now on to the guy you like. okay firstly deal with your boyfriend first,if you decide to break up with him don't immidiately go for this guy.
focus more right now on devoloping a friendship with this guy and nothing more,don't have intentions of anything else happening if that makes sense just get to know him more and see if your feelings devolop deeper over time if they do then go about persuing it if that makes sense.
but are you sure youd really want to start something with your friends brother,that almost always causes problems between friends,if anything does happen make sure your friend is ok with it because its not worth loosing a friendship over.
for the meantime concentrate on having fun with your friends and just hanging out don't stress yourself out too much over relationships with guys your 15 enjoy yourself.be carefree,thats how i live life anyway =)
I hope I was of any help to you!
Let me know what you decide to do or if you have any more questions,
best of luck &&
much
I'm 17 and so is my boyfriend. He has this cousin who's about 30 years old, maybe a little older. Well his cousin hasn't spoken to my bf in about a year and they live five minutes away from each other. Well suddenly his cousin decided to reconnect with my bf and they've been spending every day together for the past week and a half. I honestly wouldn't mind because its family but his cousin is so rude, annoying and racist. My bf quit smoking pot but if he smells it, it makes him want to smoke and his cousin always smokes pot around him. If we're in the car he'll smoke a cigarette and not bother to blow the smoke out the window. We live in an area where there's a large hasidic Jewish community during the summer and it makes the full time residents a little annoyed because it gets really busy and hectic...but most people will never say anything. Well one day my bf and I were driving with his cousin and he starts yelling racist comments out the window.I was so embarrsased! After that he whistled at two 16 year old girls that I used to go to school with..and remember this guy is about 30yrs old. One thing that drove me nuts happened a couple days ago. After being with him all day my bf was supposed to drive his cousin home but instead his cousin wanted to stop by a friends house. I thought we were going to be there for 10 minutes but instead we were in this run down, dirty apartment building for an hour and a half while his cousin got drunk with his friends and then we eventually drove him home after stopping for cigarettes that he saked my bf to pay for. This guy is driving me crazy. He always makes my bf drive him around and do favors for him and my bf just does it because he's too nice to say no. I don't want to tell my bf I hate the guy because that's his family and my bf always is willing to hang out with my family so I'd feel bad but I don't know what to do. I don't want my bf to be taken advantage of.
Hey there,
Okay this guy really does sound like a complete nightmare.
neither of you should have to put up with him
I know you keep saying hes your bfs family but at the end of the day family arent supposed to treat family like that.
all this man does is use your bf,he doesnt care about him.
hes an extremely bad influence on him and you need to do something before he gets him involved in all sorts.
honestly just sit down with your boyfriend and explain what you have here,
say I know (insert cousins name here) is your family but I think hes treating you really unfair and i think hes a really bad influence explain how your not trying to be controlling but your really worried and you hate seeing him being used like that say your sorry but you don't like being around him much as he makes you feel uncomfortable.
because he is your boyfriend he should understand and listen to your concern as you said hes too nice to say no so he probably feels stuck and lost and doesnt know what to do hopefully after this talk you can help him to just tell his cousin to get lost.
if this doesnt work what about your bfs parents?does he have contact with them..if so maybe talk to them about the cousin see how they feel about him also,if they feel the same way then perhaps they can help talk sense into your bf and to get rid of him.
if they all go against you and protest that this guy is family etc,then theres not much more you can do at least you know you tried,but then its time to just take a step back and not interfere. but honestly this is extremely unlikely to happen if the guy is this bad.
my uncle is similar but is alot worse has been in prison and mixed up with drugs,though hes family at the end of the day it doesnt excuse his behaviour hence why none of us have or want nothing to do with him,and thats is own fault.
I hope you see where im coming from and i totally understand how you feel hopefully your boyfriend will too and you can get this sorted =)
Much
So there's this guy. From grade five up until grade eight we had always been really close friends. Actually he always liked me more than a friend and he told me that. I never liked him back though. However, at the end of grade eight he stopped talking to me completely. Rumor was that he stopped talking b/c I was too obsessed over this guy I liked and I talked too much about him. That just doesn't seem like what he would get mad over though. He never has before, so I doubt he would this time. I've tried talking to him online,on the phone, at school, just about everywhere... but it's like he never knew me. However he knows me better than anyone I've ever met. It's been 7 months now and things just keep getting worse and worse. It's like I don't exist to him, he honestly doesn't notice me at all ever. I miss having him as a friend so much, he was the only one I ever really trusted and he kept me happy. To make it even worse, I have this small crush on him that keeps growing by the day... I don't know what to do or how to solve this. I have no clue whatsoever why he's mad. No one does. Some good advice would be great. Thx so much!
xox~Becky
Hey there,
Okay in my opinion i think the reason this guy has suddenly decided to cut you off from his life like this is because it got too much.
like you said he has feelings for you it must have been incredably hard for him to be around you as a friend everday and wish for something more.
I think maybe he just couldnt take it and decided he needed some space and distance from you until he gets over you and can stand the fact of just being your friend. which is understandable but in this case,its been 7months and hes still treating you like you don't exsist and he never gave you an explanation unfair on his part.
after being his friend for so long the least you deserved was an explanation so you could give him that space.
you say youve tried just about everything to talk to him now what i would do is try one more time to tell him exactly how you feel including the small crush,(quick question are you 100% sure you could never have feelings for him like he has for you,if so then leave the crush part out)
maybe write him a letter anything and everything just one last time.
if he chooses not to listen well then thats is problem and i hate saying it but after that theres really nothing else you can do,but leave him to think about it and hope he realises what hes throwing away and comes around.
if he still chooses to not want to know you hes incredably stupid for throwing away a great friendship like that. and youl just have to do your best to move on as hard as that is.
no friend should put another through that though,honestly if nothing changes at least you know that you did your absolute best dont waste anymore time,its not worth it its up to him then.
anyway i hope i helped somehow and that things work out and he comes around :) anymore questions please inbox me =)
much
To start off I will tell you about myself. I am a 21 year old mexican girl. I live wit my parents. Currently no job and I go to college full time.
I have a wonderful boyfriend of 3 years. He is turning 21 in december. And I was going to throw him a huge party. But he would rather go on vacation to cancun for a week. He says he would pay for everything for me which include flight, hotel, food, anything. Just me and him. ROMANTIC! I know. And probably some(2-3) cousins that live in mexico. Its wonderful, exciting. And I want to go really bad..
But here's the thing. I am the first born. I am the baby of the family and my parents would need a ton of convincing to let me go. I need help on tips to convince them. Please help anyone.
hey there, =)
sounds like that would be an amazing trip and your parents shouldnt get in the way of that.
id say something if you were my age (16) but your 21 for crying out loud your an adult.
whether your parents say no or not ir really doesnt matter..can they stop you?no.
once you turned 18 you don't need their permission.
sit them down explain to them where you are going and your really very excited and you hope they aproove because its going to be a great trip tell them your 21,not a baby anymore and your well able to look after yourself your mature and responsable they should know that.
reassure them youl be perfectly fine youl be with your boyfriend and friends.
if they say the would prefer you not go...bottom line how in the hell are they going to stop you?
if you were the same age as me I would tell you to show your parents your mature and responsable tell them youd update them and let them know how and where you are at all times so they wouldnt have to worry.
but as i continue to say your an adult. they cant make your decisions for you anymore.
considering your from mexico maybe your culture differs from mine in regards this kind of stuff..i dont know but I do hope I helped =)
and please don't let them stop you from going
much
Ok umm..
I like this guy(how original :P). We haven't talked much, but he knows I exist :P. We only say hi once in a while and little stuff like that. The problem is whenever I see him I feel totally tongue-tied and sort of stupid so I don't say much and I talk weirdly :P:P:P (or that's what it seems like to me - haha). There have been a few things here and there both from my side and from his that could maaaaaaaayyyybe be considered something like flirting but nothing very obvious or certain. I guess my question is how can I get myself to talk to him, then what can I talk about, and how could I show him that I like him? I'm 16 and I have never had a real relationship-only silly text message stuff in middle school...
I don't really know how one would "get into" a relationship..?
Anyway, so please give me any advice you have and thanks!
Hey there, =)
okay I would disagree with the last answer
asking him to hangout yet might freak him out a little considering you don't talk much so what I would do is maybe start a convirsation going one day you can talk about anything maybe an annoying school teacher do you have any classes together or anything like that?
you could start convo going about something like that,or a new movie..or anything.
think of him as someone you would talk to everyday and it should help relax you,just another one of your friends =]
the key to this is to be yourself by finding out the type of things he likes and pretending you like them too just to talk to him is bizare,and it almost always backfires trust me.
he will respect you more if your honest,and you would show signs of not being like every other girl who practicly stalks a guy to get to know him.
thats just my opinion anyway and coming from expierence lol
but its up to you =]
the only way to get to know him is to talk to him yourself about what he likes and what you like,then get is number,some flirty texting and your on your way =)
then ask him to go hang out.
hopefully then itl start to lead to you too liking each other more and more and then thats how the relationship stuff starts
anyway I hope I helped In anyway and dont be nervous hope it all works out
much
you know on myspace there are layout makers.
like cbitw and ms nerds that kind of thing. well on there they always have page graphics which are normally just sayings in different font styles, or pictures with sayings underneath them but you can put them on your myspace in html form.
(you can also find them on tinypic.com or photobucket.com)
anywho how can i make those myself? is there something i have to buy something i have to download?
thank you in advance!
Hey there, =)
well im not entirely sure but I think alot of theese could be made on photoshop or paint shop pro.
you have to buy theese programmes and they do cost a bit I think
but you can downlaod a free 30day trial of either of them just google it in.
id go for paint shop pro because i think its easier (I used to use it to make bebo skins it was really easy)
then once youve it downloaded all you do is mess around with fonts and pictures.
it might look really complicated and confusing at first but trust me its not. im the not good with computers or graphics or any of that and i still managed to figure it out.
you can download really cool fonts then to go with it from
"www.dafont.com" and they will show you a really easy way to get them onto paintshop pro =]
then for pictures you can just search on photobucket and stuff and search for nice quotes too and then just make your own =)
google tutorials on simple graphic making either
if you decide to do all this and download it all etc and are having any trouble about anything please feel free to inbox me i know how frustrating it can be trying to get started and figuring stuff out!
hope I made some sense
Much
I have a friend who is really depressed and suicidal. It really freaks me out when she comes to school with scratches all over her arms. I really care deeply about her, but lately I've wanted to just give up. It hard to keep telling her everyday, "You look great, you have lots of reasons to live" and then see her puke up her lunch and cut herself with razors. Do you have any advice as to what I should do?
hey there
okay this is really serious,and its great that your there for your friend, and i know you probably feel like your getting absolutely no where and just giving up but don't your friend needs all the help and support she can get and to know that your there for her.
but you definately cant do this on your own and be expected to either its putting alot of stress worry and burdens on you its not healthy for you either.
does her parents know about this?if not you defenatly need to start there by telling them
or even another friend or teacher anyone.
then what needs to be done is her parents need to go about getting her counselling for all this and need to find out whats causing all this.
she needs to see a doctor too before she hurts herself even more,she obviously has alot of emotional pain that she feels the need to selfharm because of it. it can be helped and the most extreme cases have come through so please dont give up on your friend.
I really hope I helped and gave you some idea as of what to do and I really hope your friend gets the help she needs and gets better =)
much
So, in response to what you said, he was affectionate and lovey dovey in the beginning, when we saw eachother at school and stuff and a while after that, it's just like, this past month, i don't know what's going on. He used to say the sweetest things to me on text [he doesnt have his phone this week, since he's been on vacation so we talk when he goes online, sporadically] and it's not.. lovey dovey anymore. and so, why should I be "lovey dovey" if he's not that way back ? I dont even know if he notices or not, it's really bothering me. and like, if we get in a fight, thats when hes like baby i love you i couldnt do better blah blah. and at random times he'd just be like, i love you. he doesnt do that anymore, only when he has to go off aim, he'll say i love you or love you bye. or he'll say i wanna come home, i miss you. I dont know, it just doesnt feel like hes the same person anymore. and like, i was with my friend, and we took pictures an posted them on facebook, and he only commented on one, and said, "pretty" and i was just like, "gracias :]" its like.. i dont know, I JUST DONT KNOW. and i was talking to him on aim, and there was like a pause and he was like okay ill let you go have your fun with your friend. and then he said i love you [it felt like he didnt wanna talk to me.] so i was just like okay love you bye. ad i just left.. because before that he was like i wanna come home, and i was like, ill see you in a week. and he was like, ughhh. and i was like, well weve gone this long without seeing eachother another week wont hurtt. and he was like, yeah i guess. i dont know. like he makes me angry and frustrated. i dont know what's going on with him lately. i just want to be like, "so is anything wrong, you dont seem like yourself lately?" but i really dont want to start a fight. this is so hard and no one understands i just want to cry. ugh. and the only time he really shows his emotions or how he feels is when we're in a fight and he knows he might lose me. and he doesnt write fcbk notes, ive asked him too before, and he's liek i dont do that. so whatever. i fought for him for 8 months almost, and ive known him for 12 years, so yes, i think he's worth it, you probably would too if you went through all of that too. i dont know if he can change, i shouldnt want him to change, yuh know ? and i think thats what kills me most. I know im asking alot of you haha, but can you give me some more advice or help, i truly need it. I'm gonna have a mental breakdown.. aha. thank you so much, you don't know how much you've helped me, honestly.
Hey again,
now i have totally differnt thoughts on the whole issue.
I didnt realise he was still on vacation. how long has he been on it?
have you thought all this is because hes on vacation?its hard to be affectionate through a computer and he might not feel up to it.
maybe hes having to much of a good time?and its not that he doesnt care,just that he is too preocupied?
give him a little space and see how things are when he gets back from vacation? i think maybe hes starting to feel a little pesterd just relax and stop worrying yourself.
dont be scared to say what your really feeling because your worried it will start a fight your going to get no where then by keeping it all bottled up and this will just continue to go on and youl feel even more angry and frustrated,if your both mature enough to just talk about it,it shouldnt have to turn into a fight,so i would say go ahead and say just that.
ease off a little until he gets back from vacation just have fun with friends keep your mind off it dont over annaylise as i said before and deal with it head on when he gets back.it might not be you at all as to why he suddenly seems disinterested distnat and non affectionate,something could be going on with his family or anything you just never know which is why you need to tell him to stop shutting you out. and making you feel like someone whos just there,and not a gf.
I understand 12 years is along time,and yes i probably would too given the circumstances but theres only so much a person can take.
I know nobody ever wants someone to change but how you wish he was with you again should be automatic.
guys are like that only when they think they are loosing a girl then all the emotion comes out its harder for them to express themselves.
I think the only solution to this is to just talk to him honestly. dont sit around and anger yourself by waiting for him to figure it out.
awh im glad to help anytime =) nice to know that i am helping in some way too. =]
much
Sorry if this may be long, I ramble.
A couple months ago my friend's brother was just kidding around and gave one of his friends my number and told him to talk to me cause I'm cool/funny or something, well his friend actually did. And since then, we've basically texted eachother every day, all day long. The only time we don't tetxt is whenever I'm either working or one of us is hanging with a friend ( sometimes we even text then anyways ).
Well during this couple month span, I've talked to him in person a couple times, but there's always been my friends there with me seeing as I don't drive, so I've never been able to be alone with him. But over the time we've been talking, I'm grown to really like him, we have the same kind of humor and morals and things and I feel very comfortable around him. I see signs that he may like me, but seeing as I've only seen him a couple times for real, I don't really know how he acts around other girls or anything, so I'm not too sure if this is just how he normally is or what. Whenever I imagine what it'd be like if we were to hang out together alone, I'd think we'd have a really good time and be laughing really hard, and I could definetely see something happening between us, but that could just be hopeful thinking. :/
Another issue would be the fact that I am 18 and he is a couple years younger than me. It's not so much an issue for me, but I don't know if it might be for him, which may cause him to think I may not want to date him cause he's too young, or what. I'm just trying to figure out what to do, cause I'm going to try and hang out with him more ( but like I said with the way things work, there's always friends around ) because I cannot just say that I like him because I can't really risk it because we're not obviously REALLY REALLY good friends so we could just remain close so I'm worried we might stop speaking if I say something.
I guess I'm just asking for ways I can hint that I like him without being too obvious. Or any advice anyone can give, really.
hey there,
okay I see where your coming from and this is always a tough situation trying to figure out whether to risk it and put yourself out there and say you like him theres always the fear of rejection. but thats something we all have to come to terms with and face eventually!
so id advice you if you really like him first give off subtle signs like be really flirty see if he picks up on it,maybe ask him does he wanna hang out someday?how are you going to find out if anything can happen otherwise? text him and be like oh theres this new movie im dying to see or something and see if he says oh me too we should go,or maybe just ask him does he want to go.
I know all this is scary sometimes but honestly its better then sitting around torturing yourself trying to figure out if he feels the same isnt it?
maybe ask one of his friends do you think that (insert his name here) might like you..or is this how he acts with all girls?..
in my opinion the age doesnt make much of a difference,like think about it when your 20 and 24 it doesnt matter,yet when your say 16 and 20 its frowned upon.
as long as its not a huge age gap id say forget about it and go for it :)
worst that can happen is that he doesnt feel the same but if he likes you so much as a friend to text you all the time then honestly things should be fine itl be a little awkward for a while (trust be been there,on both sides!) but it does go back to normal i promise you and if it doesnt its his loss and he wasnt worth it in the first place =)
Hope I helped in anyway and good luck!
much
I'm getting close to having a new boyfriend after 2 years of being single. With my past boyfriends, the relationship has been very clingy and we spent way too much time together which eventually led to the break ups. I don't know if it was my fault or theirs, but I'm looking for some advice.
I know there aren't specific answers, I just want to hear from your experiences so I can get a good idea of how to go about this.
Appx. how often should you hang out with a boyfriend or girlfriend? Is it necessary to text or call everyday? Is it acceptable for me to hang out one-on-one with my best guy friend while having a boyfriend or vice versa?
Thanks for your advice.
(17/ Female)
hey there =)
okay well its not always just down to one person,and it being their fault for not working out always remember relationships are a two way thing so don't ever blame just you for something not working or going wrong.
anyway,
what i always say is its all about finding a balance,not spending every single day with each other and neglecting your friends family even yourself and other priorites,but not neglecting your bf for theese either.
it really depends on you both as people and how busy you are but usually when im with someone id see them for a while some days after school work college for a few hours,but mostly hang and do stuff together on the weekends.
its the summer now so things are different and usually bfs and gfs spend alot more time together.
dont worry youl start to notice if you or he needs some space.
dont constantly call keep it to just texting its ok to text everyday just in time periods like take a break if you get me?
and dont get paronied if he doesnt text back etc he could be busy..that causes problems if your texting him being like omg why arent your replying..you know?
just relax and go with the flow and dont read too much into things and you two should be fine and clinginess will be avoided =]
and i would say its perfectly fine to hang with your best guy friend as long as your bf knows thats all you are and understands and respects that because theres nothing wrong with it
anyway i hope I helped in any way good luck
Much
The next time I see my ex boyfriend who I want to get back together with. Any suggestions would be appreciated..Thanks.
hey there =]
okay i would advice you not to look too over the top and done up,because then it would like your trying too hard and you don't want that.
keep it casual yet dressy =)
so i would go for something like skinny jeans(if you wear them or normal jeans) with a nice pair of pumps and a cute top with a bit of cleavage but not too much on show,see if you dress simple enough you can jazz everything up with your hair and make up =]
you could wear a cute denim skirt maybe with leggings and a top..
it all depends on your style? so its hard to say.
just try find something in between that will still make him go..woah she looks hot =] but without making him think..oook little slutty trying to hard..if you get me?
anyway I hope I helped and things work out for you
much
I'm a 19/f, and I've been with my boyfriend (also 19) for almost a year. While this isn't my longest relationship (yet), I feel very deeply for him, and I trust him with everything in the world. We've had our share of fights, but we've always been able to work things out. We're talking about starting to save up for an apartment in the future, and we have my parents support, as long as we're ready.
the problem is, that lately ALL I've been thinking about is how badly I want to have a baby with him. I KNOW this is crazy, because I'm still in community college and we're not even talking about marriage yet, but I keep doing research on childcare and newborns. Is this my hormones? Or am i just nuts?
PS- we practice safe sex and we don't take risks. Even though right now I THINK I want a child, I know I'm not ready. So what's wrong with me??
hey there =]
okay theres absolutely nothing wrong with you at all. its totally normal and your not crazy!
the good thing in this situation is you KNOW your not ready,still that doesnt stop you feeling like you want a baby its just your feelings towards your boyfriend are so strong right now you feel you have to express them and you get that feeling of wanting to have his baby.
its the baby bug alot of girls get it once and a while as long as your rational about it and dont act on it when you know your not financally or emotionaly ready.
I think it is down to just hormones and feelings your not nuts =]
This feeling might go away after a while and you find other ways to show how much you really love him,or it might stay with you until your both ready and want a child,either way your completely fine trust me :)
hope I helped good luck
Much
sorry if im getting on your nerves with all of these questions, i have ALOT on my mind. haha.
sooo, last night i was talking to my boyfriend and i was like, what would you do if i made an entire note on facebook dedicated to you? and he said, "I'd be happy" and i was like, "hmm." and he changed the subject or something. so, i made him the note, and 2 of my friends commented on it before he did. they both said it was cute and stuff, but one of my friends was like, THANKS FOR DELETING MY COMMENT [because uhm her comment was like, here's your comment asshole..like i told her to do it, which i didnt?] so then my boyfriend comments on it and he goes, "im flattered" IT WAS A 51 QUESTION NOTE AND I SAID SO MANY CUTE THINGS AND THATS ALL HE SAYS ?! WTF. HONESTLY, THAT IS RETARDED. like not even an, "I love you baby." just.. "im flattered" excuse me for being a little friggen pissed the hell off. and then he comments again talking to my friend saying what did she delete. and then my friend rambles on about me and then EMBARASSES ME. and he goes, "interesting" so i say, "im confused." and my boyfriend goes, "im not surprised" and then my friend ONCE AGAIN embarasses me and pretty much calls me stypid saying whats the use in trying to tell me what i did since i wouldnt understand what shes saying anyways. so then i said, "i give up. im just gonna pretend i know what you're talking about, and THANKS [BOYFRIENDS NAME] no more comments after that..
so my boyfriend and i were talking online and usually hes like, hey beautiful or hey gorgeous and how are you baby but today he was just liek hey and then how are yous [he knows pluralizing things makes me mad because thats the ONLY thing his ex did] and so whatever. we started talking and he was like, "miss you" and i was like, "same." and then i wouldnt vid chat with him so he got mad at me ? well kinda, and he called me mean, so i was like, im mean for making you an ENTIRE NOTE ? and all he said was, "it was cute" THATS IT ? NO THANKS ? NO I LOVE YOU ? should this be bothering me ? do i have a right to be pissed or upset ? we're so up and down. and my friend [the one who was embarassing me on the note] is flirting with him. she talks and flirts with him behind my back and doesnt tell me. randomly tells me she wants to hang with him and im like, uhm hes taken. says hes funny. and says she'll talk to him for me.. and im like.. no... like, whatthehell ?! HES MY BOYFRIEND.
ugh i need advice, im gonna like blow a fuse. aha. thanks sosososososososoooo much !!
haha your not its cool I know what its like =]
right your friend?..acting like a complete bitch. sorry to be so blunt but she is. shes honestly not acting like much of a friend if thats the type of stuff she does,its looking like shes trying to get with him,and only hanging with you to do that shes bad news i wouldnt waste my time and engery on her girls that annoy me so much and they arent worth it.
to answer your questions yes u have a right to be pissed and upset and it should bother you!
it would me!
now what im thinking is your boyfriend doesnt seem to be the lovey dovey affectionate type AT ALL. and you are. and your both clashing..like he doesnt think hes doing anything wrong but you do,and he cant see why your getting mad.
what he should have done is wrote you one back!
it looks like you need the type of guy who can be that way towards you and honestly from my perspective this guy is so not looking like it.
do you honestly think hes worth all this?do you think he can change?if this was me i would have given up on him now and stopped wasting my time showing all this love and care for him and getting like zilch back.you deserve better!
this guy is even coming between you and your friend for gods sakes. like obviously i dont know him,but from what your telling me i cant see whats so special about him?
but this is totally up to you its your choice if you think you can keep going and trying to get a response from him then do.
do what you feel is right basicly in your heart that never fails for me.
at this stage I think moving on as hard as it can be sometimes,seems like the best thing becuase its like dragging blood from a stone trying to get affection out of this guy by the looks of it.was it always that way?if it wasnt try finding out whats making him so distant.
sorry if this isnt what you wanted to hear but thats what I think!
I think your too good for him. give him an ultimatum see what happens.
say look if you dont start treating me like a gf and showing me some affection then thats it were through,judging by his reaction to it youl be able to tell if its worth hanging onto or not =]
hope i helped! && things work out
much
haha, hey, I'm the girl whos question you answered about the boyfriend and the psycho ex girlfirend who gets people to harass me haha.
Okay, another question...
uhm, I get your advice and how you said I probably have nothing to worry about, but he's on an island right now .. and we only talk when he goes online. so i asked him how far he got with the his ex and he said it really like .. not that it mattered. and i told him like ... i only asked because .. alot of my ex boyfriends tried to make me do stuff. but i never did it, because im a very independent person and if i dont feel comfortable doing something, i wont. its a simple as that. so anyways, i told him like .. what my recent ex boyfriend did, like pretty much forcing me to kiss him and all he said is, "oh i see." like... shouldnt he care ? i mean it was kinda like a really bad time for me. so yeah. and then i guess i was just like well yeah, and he said, hes an idiot. and that was it, but i dont know, i feel liek he doesnt care. but also. for liek the entire summer ive seen him once. he has football everyday and he doesnt get back til like 830 at night, so i have a life too, and i go out with my friends. so i never see him. and we havent even kissed yet. i dont know. and the day he gets back from vacation i leave for vacation. it's annoying and all my friends say its weird, but its not my fault ! :[ ugh. also. my sister told my mom that I told him that I love him, and now she doesnt trust me, THATS NOT FAIR. i have known him for 12 years. like, wtf. she knows his parents and everything, so im afraid she wont let me go over his house, or let him come over mine. ugh. any advice ? thank you soso muchh.
Hey there =)
glad to see i helped someway!I actually had to cut that answer short cos i was going out and my ride came and i was like gah. haha anyway.
okay what its looking like to me he is he has issues about opening up,like expressing his softer side by showing he cares,he probably really does but hes not sure how to show it or what to say some guys are like that some guys are affectionate and sensitive towards their girlfriend naturally,and others well arent and you have to try and bring it out of them by letting them no its ok to be that way like it doesnt make him any less of a man about it.you really should talk to him though tell him how is casual and relaxed answers make you feel,tell him you need to know that he cares and hes there for you otherwise you can't see it working plain and simple.
because whats the use sitting around putting all the effort in and you get nothing back?he needs to start pulling his weight.
espically when it comes to not seeing each other you both have to put that effort in and find time to hang out and do bf gf stuff together because lets face it if you two have absolutely no communication or anything what kind of relationship is that?
you both need to have a good talk and just put your other plans aside for a while its all about finding the right balance,like not neglecting your friends for him or vice versa if you get what im saying.
like i said before he probably doesnt know what to say or how to react to you asking him about what hes done with the others,maybe he feels like you might loose respect for him if you find out hes done such and such with other girls..?
he might feel like your different to say his ex because your so independant and have respect for yourself and dont let your self be pressured(way to go for that btw )
now,onto your mom not trusting you thats completely ridiculos..shes your mom and should know that your not the type of girl to go jumping into bed with someone if you love them.
thats probably what shes thinking shes a mom its normal they worry like that,you need to reassure her and show her how responsable and mature you are about it she shouldnt stop you from seeing him after that don't worry about that for the meantime unless it actually happens.
anyway sorry this is so long Im probably rambling now,so in a nutshell you definately need to talk to your boyfriend explain what you have to me how you feel like he doesnt care etc,and then your mom if that problem should arise and work together at making time for each other =)
I hope I helped anymore questions im happy to try answer!
Much
Okay so my boyfriend and I have been through alot and we've only been together for almost 2 months and i've known him since i was little, we've been through.. him liking me and me liking someone else,not talking for a while, me liking him and him liking someone else, him being in a relationship but liking me the entire time and then breaking up with the girl for me, then keeping our relationship secret for like a month, so basically we've almost been in a relationship for 3 months. I love him, I really do. We've been in a lot of fights though because his ex girlfriend and a lot of her friends [some who used to be my friends] harassed me over the internet and in person. They shoved me in the lunchroom of my school and threatened me .. all because they thought i broke them up, that i told him to break up with her ... but he has always been my best friend and i told him [exact words] to "do what makes you happy." and then he broke up with her. well, she is still trying to make him jealous and stuff, and im not a controlling girlfriend, but like ... he shouldnt even want to talk to her after all the crap she put me through none of it was even my fault. and so i found out he was talking to her again ... he said it was only once, but she asked him about a guy [she could have asked ANYONE about the guy, but she chose to ask my boyfriend. wow] and he told her that he was an idiot [the guy she asked him about] uhm, cool.. so he's jealous? so i was saying like obviously you're jealous and he said he would never do anything that would intentionally bother me. UHM LIKE HE DIDNT KNOW THAT WOULD BOTHER ME ?! so we got in this huge fight and stuff ... and the other night i asked him how far they got, he told me he felt her up but she gave him a hand job. i dont know why, but that really bothers me. like, all ive ever done with a guy is kiss them. like, not makeout either, because i like to go slow ... because if you do everything fast, then theres nothing to look forward to, you know ? haha, that's just my theory. and i keep thinking about it, and it keeps making me uncomfortable. and like, he knows ive only kissed guys. and idk, like .. should this be making me uncomfortable ? they were otgteher for 3 or 4 months, but also ... do i have a right to be mad at him .. he told me he deleted her number from his phone [ a while ago ] and its like he's just telling me what i want to hear. and idk if i like it. and the fact that he talked to her behind my back.. probably thinking i wouldnt find out or thinking it wouldnt be a big deal also bothers me, because he was flirting with me when he was with her, i think im jkust insecure. ugh, i dont know, anybody help ? any advice at all, i think im also just venting. sorry haha :]
hey there =]
okay I can see where you are coming from and honestly I think id,(or any other girl in your situtation) would have similar feelings.
but the fact is hes a guy. plain and simple he doesnt realise how talking to her would affect you,it usually takes guys a while to figure that stuff out.
what those girls are doing to you is really unfair,his ex is still probably hurting from the breakup but shes going about getting over it the wrong way vengance isnt going to solve anything,and wont get her anywhere its bad karma.
anyway what I think you should do is don't give her any satisfaction,how your reacting now is exactly how she wants you to! and trust me shes probably loving it.
this is her plan from the sounds of things to get you so worked up and paronied that you end up badgering your boyfriend about it and you two break up.
you should let up a bit calm down,i dont think your boyfriend means bad or to hurt you i think he genuinely was telling her that the guy was an idiot. why should he care when hes with you? i think your over annalysing things and this is going to cause some problems if you keep worrying and thinking omg is he jealous of her does he like her again etc.
tell your bf you dont mind him talking to her but tell him that it hurts you a bit considering all she put you through let him know your not trying to be controlling. he should see it from your perspective then =)
as for how far she got with him its irrelevant.
you are both different girls and do things at your own pace,it looks like your boyfriend respects that,does he pressure you to do stuff? if so then you really need to rethink this.
if not then youve nothing to worry about =)
hope I helped
much
So my boyfriend is moving.we've ben together for 9 months so this is tough. so me and him had some beer rite and it was only because i was really upset. and my clothes ended up coming off.
and i got caught by the cops and my parents find out. i told them i was sorry and i never wanted to do it again but they just won't give me the chance to prove it to them.
How do I make this better?
hey there,
im sorry to hear about your boyfriend.
okay, so you made a mistake it happens we all do theres nothing you can do now but move on youve said your sorry now all you can do is just proove to your parents that you are by simply not doing something like that again they will come around eventually,just show them you can be mature.
they will start to trust you again soon it might take a while but it will come about.
you just have to be careful for the meantime not to do anything to make them think otherwise.
Hope I helped =)
much
I'm 24 and female and I lost my virginity to a guy that I fancy the pants off! It wasn't at all what i expected and I was drunk and so was he and it was just...well, not that great.
I saw him last night and had to speak to him beacuse I just don't know how to feel about the whole thing and his words went a little something like this: "Well I had fun it was a laugh" and I was like "pardon and what now?"...He actually doesn't give a shit about me and I can't believe I waited that long to lose my virginity and it ended up being with an absolute CUNT! I've cried constantly for the whole entire day and I can't eat cos I feel sick. How long does it take to get over this? I hate him. He's ruined everything :(
Thanks
xxx
Hey there,
awh im sorry to hear that. I hate guys like that,who have absolute no respect or anything for us and only care about getting some.
but its not the end of the world don't let it or him keep you down you made a mistake and you regret it alot but just forget it and move on theres no use dwelling on the past your just going to upset and depress yourself more.
youve got the crying out of your system now the next step is to pick yourself back up.
the trick to get over this is time. just put it out of your head completely when you feel yourself start to think about it distract yourself.
keep busy,surround yourself with work and friends and having fun etc.
and be sure to make the next time you have sex really sepcial,with someone you know you can trust 100% and who you really care about and who cares about you.
be careful not to fall into the wrong hands again when your drinking theres nothing worse,we have all nearly been there in some way or another and its not good. dont let yourself be taken advantage of again your too good for that!
I hope I helped good luck :)
Much