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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

I am a male my dad has cheated on my mom 2 times before and i dont know how she foregave him well any ways i think my dad is cheating on my mom again when he takes a day of f of work he is never home and he is making up fake emails and facebooks the problem is that i cant catch him cause he has a password on his iphone so any adviceon how to catch him


My advice is not to try. Whatever is happening is between your mom and your dad. She has forgiven him twice before and most likely will do so again if she were to find out or be made aware of this.

For you to intercede and try to discover your fathers affair can only cause trouble for you. Not knowing either of your parents I really can't say what is going on between them. It is possible that mom has come to terms with your fathers affairs. It is even possible that they have come to some sort of agreement that as long as he keeps these affairs quiet and out of sight. Does not bring any disease home to you and her. She is willing to live with the situation.

There are many reasons why mom would be willing to do this. The biggest one would be you and any siblings you have. She may rather live with the situation then break up your home. Once you and any siblings are finished with College then she may decide to take a different approach.

Since you have no idea of what your mom may be thinking or accepting; your interference may be unwanted. Instead I suggest you be supportive to your mother and help her in any way you can or she asks.

Don't rock her world or yours by trying to find out something that truly is not yours to do anything about. Also remember that your dad, even if he is cheating on mom, is still your dad. If he is not neglecting you in any way. If he is showing you the love and affection a dad should show a child. Then he is doing right by you and has earned the right to be your dad and to be loved as a dad. Your respect for him may be tarnished but he is still your dad.

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Is it normal to skip your period for nearly two months near to 3months? Í Am sexaully active and thought I was pregnant and took two home pregnancy test and it came out negative I'm extrememly worried because there's no sign of it being near.

I agree with Cardigan. What is most important is; that if you have been following the package directions on the home pregnancy test, are not super hydrated before hand and the test are always negative. Then something is not right. Be it stress, hormonal or even medications you may be taking. You need to check in with your GYN and let he or she check you over.

One question. Have you started to exercise strenuously such as training for a marathon. If so this could be the problem. Have you ever noticed that female Olympic athletes generally look under developed for their age. The reason for this is because of how hard they train. Female Olympic athletes do not get their periods while they are training.

I thought I would point this out incase this might be the cause. Even so I think a check up with your GYN is in order.

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How do you think this could change her parenting to me? Would it be eye opening for her to be in the punishment situation now? Maybe she'll go easier on me

This is not an easy question to answer; reason I don't know you mother. Certainly being in jail is going to change her, it changes everyone.

Will being in jail being eye-opening experience for her? How will this change her, will this change how she treats you, how she punishes you in the future. I really can't say what I can say is she will be a little bit different when she comes home.

What I really think is this is the learning experience that your father has been talking about. This is something you and your mom can talk about when you go visit her. You could even use this experience, of visiting her, for an essay assignment in your English class next semester in school I think it would be wonderful essay to write.

Anytime we experience something new it changes us just a bit. What mom is experiencing will have an effect on her just what the effect will be really depends on mom herself since I don't know where I really can't say. It will be up to you and your dad when mom returns home to help her reacclimate to a normal life.

Just remember one thing, you even though mom's in jail she's still your mother, she still responsible for how you are brought up, she still entitled to talk to dad and be involved in your life and what you do. Your dad and your mom are still coparents they're entitled to discuss anything and everything as it refers to you. This includes punishment, praises rewards or anything we as parents do for children.

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I'm on the pill, but I'm currently in a long distance relationship.

And I know some health problems can be caused by being on the pill consistently for a long time.

Is it okay to take a couple of months off from the pill when I won't be seeing my boyfriend? Or will that just screw up my body's levels..?

Thank you.

You are not understanding of my answer. There is a reason I am the only one to answer you question. You have worded your question requesting a medical opinion. We can not answer that type of question. When asking for a medical opinion we will always respond as I did which is to consult a doctor.


You can try rewording your question but you still may not get an answer. There is a great deal of information we can give out under the heading of birth control we can just not answer yours.


None of us are doctors and we should not and can not give out medical information.

Your question is best answered in consultation with the doctor who has prescribed you birth control pills.

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my husband was having a fling with a woman and was about to go see her in another country, had I not caught him. I took everything away from him and told him to leave. now he wants me to give him a chance. however he treated me very cold before and i begged for a chance mine you I cook, wash, clean his house. I don't drink or smoke. I cried and told him what did I do wrong. I got on my knees and told him whatever I had to do to better our marriage. He just keep telling me that he didn't want to try, and he told me to change for myself that he didn't love me. however he was nice. he said he wanted to start a new life at 45. we've been married 17 yr's. and have a 16 year old son. he talked to the woman on the phone in front of me, told her not to call, text, or e-mail him. however I don't see him the same. very quite and like his thinking. The female is 34 and is crippled from the waist down. An old school so called friend introduced him. My husband would come home from work always moody and said he wanted to be alone in the bedroom he wanted time away from me. he got information on plane tickets and was looking where she lived on map quest and going to get a loan for the trip. till i caught him. I told him that he was committing adultery and so was she, because we were married before God, but that didn't move his conscience. help pleas

I'm a little confused after reading what you wrote so let me see if I understand you correctly.

You caught your husband having somewhat of an affair with a women he has not met personally; in another country. He was about to get a loan to purchase a ticket to fly to meet this woman who is also handicapped. When you caught him you made him move out.

Prior to this your husband was cold to you and you begged him to tell you what you needed to do to change for him or what you had done wrong. He said to change for yourself and that he didn't love you and wanted to start a new life. Now he wants you to give him a chance.

We can't tell you what to do only what we would do or what we think you should do. In the end whatever you decide has to be your decision.

My take on this is your husband has had a taste of life on his own and found that life on the other side of the fence is not the greener grass he thought it was. Now he wants to come home to get back what he had. I can't say that his feelings have changed for you or for his home life with you. Only that he doesn't like living alone. Just where this other woman is in the problem I do not know and really is not relevant at the moment.

If I were you I would be looking for an attorney to file for a legal separation. This separation would be for the court ordered support you and your son entitled to by law. This would also be a prelude to a divorce if that is what you finally decide upon.

What this separation agreement does is it allows for you and your son to have what is legally required of your husband in the way of support. This will either be agreed upon between the two of you, your lawyers and the laws of where you live or ordered by the courts.

This legal separation is time out from your marriage. A time for you and him to either work towards getting back together or deciding to finalize with a divorce.

I do not think you need to change as much as he needs to change if this marriage is to continue. Remember he is the one with the wondering eye. I may be a male but it is always the man blaming the women for his extra marital exploits when it is generally not her fault.

During this time you can and should attend joint marriage counseling, possibly date but not enjoy marital benefits with each other. No way should he live in your home either.

His willingness to do any of this including how willing he is to agree to a legal separation should tell you how willing he is to save this marriage or if he is only looking a home with a maid with benefits when and if he wants them.

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Hi, me and my boyfriend been dating for 3 years and we live together. he's very reserved sort of person but not very open but when he's drunk he says, 'you're the love of my life and love you to death.' does he really mean all this or is this just a drink talking? we do say i love you at least 3 times a day . thanks

Alcohol is known to lower ones inhibitions. If your boyfriend is as reserved as you say he is it is possible the alcohol has lowered his inhibitions to the point that what he said is truly what he feels.

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Can you go swimming on your period WITHOUT a tampon.

It is not recommended especially in a community pool. You could bleed into the water forcing the closure of the pool. Using a sanitary napkin would be uncomfortable and could also cause you to leak into the pool.

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so ive just been in the hosptal for my secent time im 20 f and they never did any tests and i kicked a neuce in her stumic cuz she tryed to give me a needle and they restraned me and then they brang me down stares and asked me if you think if anything is wrong with you i said i think im bypoler but they never did any test and they trying to make me take pills

Diagnosing a mental health disorder is done through observation and discussion. Part of the observation could have been done by the nurses who report what they observe to the doctor/psychiatrist.

You said they took you down stairs and asked you if anything was wrong with you. It is possible you were asked other questions at this time and it was the doctor asking the questions. Based on your answers and the observations made by the nursing staff the doctor would make a diagnoses and prescribe medication.

If you have been prescribed medication you should be taking it as it is expected the medication will help you. You also should have been set up with appointments to see a psychiatrist or psychologist outside the hospital to monitor you and see if the medications are working.

Check the discharge papers to see if appointments with a doctor or therapist have been made for you. If so make sure to see the doctors when the appointments are made for. This is the time you can ask the doctor to explain to you what is going on.

It is very important that you take the medications as prescribed and see the doctors as scheduled. Failure to follow these instructions could have you going back into the hospital.

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Well im thirteen and ive lived in fayetteville my whole life but know im moving to kentucky....im not sad abot moving but i am worried about what people are gona be like there....ive never had problems with making new friends but theres a first for everything :(

I've worked for companies with headquarters both in Fayetteville and in Kentucky. Other than them sounding different to you as they do not have the same southern drawl that you have you will find them just as nice as the people where you live now. If you have a deep southern drawl you may get teased a bit but it will be good natured as love to listen to people with southern drawls especially women.

If you like trying different foods then you will love moving. While the foods have the same name in Kentucky they are made differently. For instance BBQ. The same food prepared very different. Both are excellent.

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Omg lately my brother has been acting like a girl...hes eight but i think hes turning gay...he asked me if i could paint his nails....but i dont know if hes kidding or not.....but then he acts totally gross and gets on top of me and my sister and i push him of and beat him and tell him to stop but hes gross and he wont listen

You brother is acting normal for his age especially given who he has for role models. With two sisters for role models he is of course going to want to interact with you and be like you. He is also want to be a boy as that is what his genes are telling him. As he gets a little older and better understands his sexuality this should change.

As a good sister you could help him with his male identity by doing some boy things with him. Things like taking him outside and teaching him how to play ball. Play catch with him. Play with his toys with him.

In the event he may have gay tendencies just what would be the problem. If this is so this is how he was born, he did not turn this way. He is still your brother.

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How do males masturbate????

The following website should answer your question.

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_do_men_or_boys_masturbate

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I would just like to know a few things!
I am not fat and I'm not sure what I weigh. I refuse to buy scales as I'm afraid I'll become obsessed with them. I believe I'd weigh around 48-55kg and I am 5'1.
For some reason weight has ALWAYS worried me, I get so depressed about it, some days I don't want to leave the house. I hate taking showers, wearing tight clothes and getting dressed as I have to see my body.
I am actually only 15 years old but I don't want to be this way anymore, I don't understand why I worry this much. When I was 13 years old I dieted and lost a fair bit of weight. I'm not sure why I stopped dieting but it was then when I received attention from boys, people stopped teasing me calling me chubby and fat and I also had friends. I've put a bit of weight back on and it is really bothering me! As I am only 15 years old so I don't pick the food in my house and the only way I can loose weight Is to eat the bare minimum as my mum wont let me pick the food we eat. I'll add that she suffers from depression and she is always angry at me. I don't ask for anything so I don't know where to receive help from. I don't want to be miserable and sad all the time, but I am constantly worried about how other people think of me and what I look like. I cried today because I KNOW I am not fat but I see it and knowing just isn't enough. I want to be happy with myself, to love my body and to make the most of life because I know its not about how you look.
What Can I do, I feel as if I have something wrong with me and I really wish I could talk to someone about it. I never complain to my friends at school because I don't want to be annoying, and I can't talk to my mum about it because she will get angry and because of that I can't see a doctor or seek help from someone.
I know some people might reply, just do exercise and you'll feel better or just eat healthier. Well all we have at my house is junk food and I exercise almost everyday. I used to run all the time for around 15-20 minutes but I build too much muscle on my legs and I look like I've put on heaps of weight so I stopped running and now I walk for around 30 minutes and do some pushups, sit ups etc.
So my questions are Why do I feel like this, and how can I fix this? Please Please help me, I don't know what to do anymore.

You are correct when you say you need to speak to someone about the poor self-image you have. For your height depending on your frame size, bones of your skeleton, you are either the perfect weight or somewhere between slightly underweight to grossly underweight. Being underweight is more harmful to a body then being the same amount overweight.

The way you expressed your weight tells me you are from either Canada, England or Europe, or possible Australia. All of these countries have some form of National Health. Being 15 it is my belief you are required to have your annual physical prior to the start of the school year during the summer holiday.

Since you feel you cannot talk to your mom about this problem you can talk to your doctor. You are old enough now where you do not need to have your mother present during a doctors examination. There only needs to be you, the doctor and a nurse present if you are examined by a male doctor.

During the examination speak to your doctor just as you have written us. The doctor will as part of your examination check your weight and will tell you if you are over or underweight. The doctor will also talk with your mother and make the proper referrals you will need to see a psychologist for talk therapy which hopefully the doctor will agree is needed.

If you ask the doctor will also refer you and your mother for a meeting with a dietician to help mom put healthier food in the house and meal planning to help you maintain a proper weight. Last but not least the doctor can also advise you on how best to exercise. Walking for 30 to 60 minutes a day at a brisk pace is an excellent low impact way to exercise.

A preschool physical is the best way to get mom to the doctors office; where after you have been examined the doctor can speak with her and make the recommendations need to help you. Then it is the doctor not you telling her what you need. Hopefully she will listen to the doctor and see to it that you both follow the doctor's instructions.

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Does God want a Christian's to marry a Catholic

what if a Christian meet a catholic in a Christian church?

I believe God wants us to be happy and believe in God. To follow god's commandments and man's laws. How you go about believing in god and serving god is left up to you.

Remember God has given us all free will. We are free to serve him in whatever way is best for us. You may follow the Catholic, Christian, Jewish or any other religion that you find comfort in as most all religions follow the same 10 commandments and are instructed to follow mans law as well.

I met my wife in an elevator. Why? Because we both feel that is where god meant for us to meet. So if you meet a catholic in a Christian church; in my estimation that is where god means for you to meet.

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Well im 12 and I have had this for a couple of years now and where my nipple is ment to be its all crusty and looks like sleep which you get In your eyes and its yellow and this is worrying me does anyone know what it is because i don't xx

First you do have nipples as Dragonflymagic said they come in all shapes and sizes.

That crusty stuff you see is most likely dried milk or lactate being expressed from your milk ducts. You are a little young for this to be happening and it is most likely the result of hormones being produced by puberty.

What this is not is anything that has to do with sex. Even if you are in someway sexually active, which hopefully you are not. The fact that it has gone on for a couple of years says the cause is not pregnancy.

What you need to do is tell mom about this If she feels it is necessary, which she very well may, she will arrange a doctors appointment. There is medication the doctor may wish to prescribe to stop the production of what may be milk production. Is it not better to stop this then to stain your clothing.

While none of us are doctors and I am surely not a doctor. I believe what is happening to you is nothing more than a hormone that has gone astray, so to speak. I believe this is correctable with medication and you don't have to suffer with it. All you need to do is tell mom.

There is no reason to be embarrassed about this. This is something mom may have gone through as a young girl and you are not the only young lady to have this problem. This is definitely not anything sexual and more in line with a bodily function that you would discuss in private with mom.

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I was dismissed from a masters program in Speech-Language Pathology due to my performance in the clinical portion of the program last fall. I tried my best to pull through but because of what I was going through at the time, ended up falling short of the requirement. I have since put myself together in a major way and am determined to get admitted to a graduate program in the same field.

I asked my last clinical supervisor if he would agree to writing me a letter of recommendation highlighting my previous work as well as some of my improvements. He emailed back saying that he is backed up with other letters of rec., and has even had to turn down some students who are still active. He said because of this, he would not be able to commit to writing me a letter at this time. He was glad to hear I am doing well and encouraged me to stay strong and not give up.

I emailed him back thanking him for his kind words, and acknowledged how busy he is. I asked him if he would be willing to write a recommendation for me at a more convenient time, as I am not going to apply to programs until another 4-5 months from now. I asked earlier since I am about to move across the country and thought I could meet with him beforehand to discuss and provide materials in person. It had been over a week, and I still haven't heard back from him. I don't want to be pushy, but at the same time, I don't want to give up on getting a recommendation letter from him. I know that my performance in clinic is the reason I got dismissed, so if I can get a recommendation highlighting some of my strengths, it can really help to balance out my application ad increase my chances of gaining admission.

Based on this information, what are my prospects of getting him to write me a recommendation letter? Would it be wise to wait a bit and then follow up with him again, in case I don't get a response to my last email?

It is really hard to say what someone else is thinking or why they said what they said.

I would think rather than turn you down out right he gave you what he felt was a valid excuse many teachers and mentors use when refusing to write a letter of recommendation. I believe they feel this is a kinder more gentler way of saying no.

Since he responded to you in a timely manner the first time you emailed him. I would say his lack of response this time is his way of emphasizing he is too busy to and not having to refuse outright to write you a letter of recommendation.

I cannot tell you what your last clinical supervisor is thinking or why he is avoiding you. What I can tell you is in my estimation I would not count on a letter from him and pestering him will not get the letter you want.

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I am a young 46 yr old Grammy to two boys ages 8 yrs old and 20 months old. I am extremely close to them as well as my daughter, mother and father. I got fired from my job in 2011 and have been unemployed since. I have been watching my grandsons (older one in school during school year) everyday mon - fri 9 hrs a day since then.
I got married last September to a man I've known since childhood. He has been living in North Carolina since he was 18 but moved back up here 5 yrs ago. He wants so badly to move back down there because he has a captains license and can easily find work there. Work that he enjoys. There are not many opportunities here in pittsburgh for a boat captain. He is very unhappy here. I too adore the Carolina's but am having a difficult time moving away from my family. I moved myself and my daughter to Florida when she was just 4 yrs old but returned to pa within 2 yrs because she missed my mom and dad so much. I've been sacrificing for my family my entire life. My daughter thinks its terrible for me to move so far away from my grandsons. Half of me wants to move to nc and make my husbands dreams come true but the other half can't bear the thought of saying goodbye to my grandsons. My question to you is, should I stay or should I go?

I saw this question on the open forum and it is not one I or anyone can answer for you.

All I can say is North Carolina ant Pittsburg are not all that far apart, a days drive at most. You have to live your life with your husband.

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My parents are currently divorcing and they keep dragging me and my sister into it. Im 23, sister is 18. But I keep telling them to leave us out of it. Everyday they want to talk about what they should do. Is this really a problem that I have to deal with?

Short answer to your question is no.

What is happening is your parents are fearful of losing your love and respect for them because of the divorce.

What I suggest you do is say to each of them that, regardless of the reason, the divorce will not cause you or your sister to feel any different about either of them.

You tell them that you and your sister are both adults now and that the divorce is something that is happening between them. Something that the two of you out of love and respect for both of them refuse to be drawn into.

You may have to remind them of this a couple of times before they actually accept this as fact. Once they do I'm sure life will be easier for you and your sister.

The biggest problem when parents divorce for people your age to deal with is not being dragged into the middle or taking sides. If it is any help to you and your sister I believe you are doing the right thing staying out of it. Just be supportive to both mom and dad when the divorce is final.

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I've read a lot on HPV but I can't seem to find answers to these questions:

How come some cases of HPV clear on their own while others settle and stay?

When having sex, is it the cum that is infected with HPV or the penis itself?

Thank you!

This is one of those questions that is extremely hard for any of us to answer as we are not doctors. This question deserves factual answers not opinions. For this reason they should be answered by your gynecologist.

If you are over 14 by Federal Law you may see any doctor in regard to your reproductive system, for questions or treatment, with or without parental permission. This law is called HIPPA and stands for Health Information Personal Protection Privacy Act.

This means anytime you see a doctor for anything related to your reproductive system no one can know the reason for you visit to the doctor. The medical information is totally confidential and not even your parents may know of it without a written release by you to the doctor.

So what do this mean in real terms for you. First mom can no longer be in the exam room with you if you are over 14. You cannot be forced to undergo any exam you do not wish to have. You can not be forced to have the HPV vaccination
no matter how much your parents may want you to.

You can ask for and be given birth control medication. If you become pregnant it is your decision as to whether or not you have an abortion. You parents have no say over your reproductive rights. The only time they can override you is in a life and death situation to save your life.

Congress did not pass this law to give young people free license to have sex. They passed this law so people like you with questions like this one could contact a doctor and get factual answers to questions that concern them and to seek medical help when needed for problems with their reproductive system that may be too embarrassing for them to go to a parent with.

Lastly, at 14 you should be carrying a copy of the family health insurance card in your wallet or purse in case of an emergency. It is part of the identification a hospital would need if you are away from home and parents, and in need of medical treatment.

In conclusion: If you are over 14 make an appointment with your GYN or go to any planned parenthood or women's clinic. The doctors and nurses there will be only too happy to sit down with you and factually answer your questions.

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my mom is currently in jail for the next eight months for financial related crimes. My dad as asked if I want to visit her because she might appreciate a visit and it could be an "Educational experience" (what does that mean?). I have no problem with my mom, other than this misdeed she did she was a good mother and never did anything to me. But I don't know if I should subject myself to a jail environment just to see her for a little while.


also, what is it like to live in jail? I am kind of curious what my mother's day to day doings are now. I was thinking of asking her myself but it probably wouldn't be nice to make her talk about that

in fact it seems my dad is enabling my mother. Before she had to go my dad helped her find information on what you should do before entering jail and made sre we will all did something together on the day before she goes. I don't know if this is enabling but I have been told it is

Last question first. The definition of enabling is to supply the means, knowledge or opportunity. The family outing the day before your mother reported to jail does not fit that definition. Most likely your father gave your mother a day to hold on to while incarcerated.

As to your second question . This question really needs to be answered by someone who has spent time in jail. Being in jail means you have no privileges other than what they may give you or you earn. It is a lot like being in school only very much more strict. You are told when to wake up, when to bath, when to eat, when to work, when and how much free time you may have, and when to sleep. Each day is like the last very regimented.

This is done for two reason. The biggest reason is this is suppose to be how the staff controls the prison. The second is to teach the inmates self-control and discipline the lack of which is seen as the reason they are there.

Talking with your mother will give you a much better picture of what life in prison/jail is really like for her.

As to your first question: "because she might appreciate a visit and it could be an Educational experience."

As to the "Educational experience." Just how much you may learn from a visit is questionable as you will not see the inside of the prison, only the visitors room which is nothing like the prison itself.

As I told you last time you wrote. You will go through a security check much like the ones they do at the airport. Then you will be allowed into the visitors area. If it is an open area mom will be brought in by a guard and allowed to sit at a table with you Some jails even have picnic areas though this is an exception. There will be guards in the room monitoring the prisoners and you.

Some prisons/Jails do not allow direct contact with outsiders and you will talk to mom through a glass window through an interphone system. These phones are monitored by the guards so be careful what you say so not to get mom in trouble.

As for mom appreciating your visit, I'm sure she would. Mom made a mistake and she is paying for that mistake just as you have when she punished you for doing something wrong. Being in jail is societies way of giving her a time out. Even so she is still your mom and I'm sure she still loves you, cares for you and wants to be involved in your life to the extent that she can.

When she has paid for her mistake she will be released and she will come home and hopefully be able to pick up her life with you and your dad where she left off.

As to subjecting yourself to a jail environment? Your not. You will not see the inside of the jail, only the visitors room which in most cases will be a lot like the cafeteria in school.

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Is 21 too young to get a hair transplant?

That is a question that needs to be answered medically speaking between you and the surgeon who will be doing the transplant. At 21 you can be in the final throes of puberty and for this reason a doctor may wish to wait until puberty is over before doing a procedure such as this.

If there is no medical reason for not doing the procedure I see no reason other than financial for not getting a hair transplant. This is considered cosmetic surgery and most insurance companies will not pay for this.

If money is not the problem and you are suffering from premature balding I would say go for it. If the transplant is successful and most are. The end result will be a better self-esteem and more self-confidence. This can only work in your favor.

A word of caution before undergoing this procedure. Make sure the doctor doing the procedure is Board Certified in Plastic Surgery. In most states any doctor who has had a residency in Plastic surgery is allowed to perform this type surgery. A board certified Plastic Surgeon is someone who has taken the next step and served a fellowship in Plastic Surgery and completed all the requirements for Board Certification. This provides for a better chance at a great outcome.

As for financing many Surgeons who perform this surgery have financing available. Read the fine print of the finance papers before you sign if you use this option. The finance rate can be extremely high as it is hard for the finance company to reposes your hair making this a high risk finance for them. You may do better with a personal loan from a bank or finance company.

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