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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
Hi guys.
So, I've been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years now. We've been living together for a little over a year and everything it's great. Our relationship is so easy. The problem is, my boyfriend is a genius. He has such an intense brain that it is very easy for him to get caught up in it. He gets anxious, restless, and distant very easily. It's never been threatening to our relationship, but it's the only time I ever can't see where he's coming from since I am calm and content and he is always looking for a new project to invest his time in. Anyways, lately it's been exceptionally bad. We barely talk. All he can talk about is his newest project. I'd rather he focus his time on gadgets and inventions than other females, but it's hard to not feel neglected. I've done what I can. I've surprised him with gifts, dinner, cards and everything he likes. He's always grateful, but his attention is usually quickly focused elsewhere. I don't want to ask him to pay more attention to me, because then he'll get stressed out and worry that he won't be able to balance his goals with his relationship and I don't want him to have to sacrifice anything.
On top of that, I'm getting impatient. In January, he and I talked seriously about marriage. I wanted it. He wanted it. We picked a date, a venue, a caterer, and started working out the details. There was no official proposal, but there were hints that one was coming soon. That was 6 months ago, and since then there has been very little mention of marriage. In fact, we haven't talked about it at all. No fight or incident occurred that would make either of us change our mind. Anyways, the date that we had picked out is in 8 months, and I'm starting to realize he has no intention of getting married at that time anymore. I'm ready and don't want to wait any longer, but I think he does. How do I handle our being on different pages?
Your boyfriend sounds a lot like my brother in-law. We referrer to my brother in-law as the absent minded professor. The name truly fits him and he accepts it from both family and the people he works with.
Given the relationship with my brother in-law and how he is. I would say I really don't think there is a problem so to speak or that your expatiations are to high. What I believe is your boyfriend needs to learn to balance his personal interests and goals. Part of the problem may be that he is somewhat AD/HD impaired something that he should be tested for. If diagnosed as having some form of AD/HD you and he can decide if he should take medication or if you can with help of a therapist work with this.
If he is not suffering from AD/HD then you need to help him to balance his time. Time management is so important these days that for my part I think it should be a required part of any course taken in college. Those that can manage their time which includes balancing work, play and family time are the ones who will succeed in todays world.
I believe you need to remind him to focus on other aspects of his life. You could say something to him such as: "Steve 6 months ago we started to plan a wedding, are we engaged? Have you proposed to me? What do I tell the caterer? Should he hold the date we gave him?
It may be that he is just so one tracked that after something is done in his mind all that is left is for someone to tell him where to be and when. The details left for a wedding may not be as important to him as they are to you.
If you tell you want him to buy you a ring, he may just go out and buy you a ring. IF you tell him to go get fitted for a Tux he'll go do that. Tell him to be at the church, well for that you might have the best man make sure he is there on time.
My advice is to first get him to his doctor for a complete physical and screening for AD/HD. If all is negative then as I said above you are going to have to teach him how to put balance in his life just as my sister in-law has been doing with my brother in-law.
I'm 15f and I sit in my room on certain nights crying cause I can hear my mom and dad fighting and either my dad is drunk or something else I want them to stop but i can't do anything as I'm their kid I can't tell them no I have two younger sibling who are nine and five I look out for them and I can't take it anymore I don't know what to do any more they don't get violent but they do scream at each other and I have to distract my sister and brother so they don't hear it I can't cry in front of my siblings cause they will know something is wrong I just can't do it anymore
It is unfortunate but parents do argue. When they do they forget that the children can hear them and what their arguing can do or how it may make them feel. It is not unlike if you have a fight with a close friend. You forget, don't notice or at the time don't care that you may be overheard by others. What is important is that you get said what is on you mind. It is called being human.
You are doing the right thing by trying to protect your younger siblings so they do not get upset or scared by your parents fighting. The fact that your parents fight on "certain nights" tells me it is not a constant every day thing.
That when your father comes home drunk may be a catalyst for some of the fights. It could be that your father drove home drunk or came home late and drunk or something else that his being drunk touched off. The other reasons could be many and have nothing to do with whether your parents still love each other.
There is a lot of stress on parents especially in todays economy. This stress is what causes arguments which in the past would possibly have led to discussions rather than arguments. The difference to day is the reason behind the argument and what can be done to settle problems. Sometimes it is just so overwhelming that as for dad he drinks to get stress relief and this upsets mom.
Now this is just a guess on my part as for the cause behind the arguments. What you can do is when mom is calm sit with her and tell her, calmly, that you and your siblings can hear her and your dad arguing. That do what you can to distract your younger siblings so as they do not get scared but it doesn't help your feelings. Then ask mom if there is anything you can do, such as helping out around the house that might make a difference for her.
I'm sure mom will tell you what she feels is relevant for you to know and put you at ease about the arguing. Just remember one thing about arguments. That is what we say in the heat of anger is not always what we mean. In the heat of an argument we want to win the argument to end it and in many instances we say things to hurt the other person we don't truly mean just to end the argument. So don't take to heart what you may hear them say. It is just there anger of the moment talking.
20/f
So I've been dating this guy for almost three years now and he is the absolute best boyfriend he can be. He treats me very well, is always thinking of me and is very sweet. We've always gotten along and hardly ever argue about anything serious. The thing that's been bothering me lately is that I don't feel as sexually attracted to him as I once was. Every time I know he's about to make a move, I turn away or start doing something else and I don't even know why. I'm not ever in the mood for it anymore. I don't like to make out anymore or do anything sexual. I love him to death and I could see myself marrying him one day. I just don't understand how to make this better. I hate not being in the mood especially when he is. What should I do? We've tried new things to spark it up but nothing seems to work for me /:
There are a lot of things that may be going on here. It is hard for a total stranger to know for sure just what may be your problem if there is an actual problem. All any of us can do is point out some things for you to consider.
The first thing I see is someone 20 years old who has been with someone since she was 17 or possibly 16. That tells me that you may be, in the back of your mind, wondering if you are settling having not had the opportunity to play the field. This would be the most common problem for a young couple. What you are really thinking; is What have I missed.
Next is you are finding out that even though you love him; you don't have a lot in common. To put it another way; the sex was great but now the gleam or the attraction of having sex has worn off and you have to talk to each other and you have nothing to talk about.
This is something I warn against in answering other questions. Sexual attraction is great. Sex only takes us so far, one day you wake up and you have to actually talk to each other and this is when you find out what type of relationship you have or if you have a relationship at all.
Next and maybe more important than the first two is an organic problem. You may have a hormonal imbalance. This could be caused by your birth control medication, especially if your doctor recently changed your medication.
Birth control medication prevents pregnancy. What is in the medication can mess with you hormones and put you off wanting to have sex.
My wife had breast cancer, we were very lucky she caught it early. Her medication is in essence the plan B pill on steroids. She has absolutely no estrogen in her body as this is what her cancer fed off of. As far as having any sexual desire that went out the window with the first pill. The good part is she is still with me and is cancer free.
I'm not suggesting you have cancer. Birth control pills lower your estrogen. Not enough estrogen and you do not feel like having sex. For a man it is too little testosterone and he won't want sex.
I suggest you check with your GYN. Tell him or her the problem. The doctor will or can do a simple blood test to check your hormone levels. If as I suspect you are deficient in estrogen it is a simple fix and you will want sex again.
Since I do not know you I cannot say which of these three, is affecting you more. I would start with visiting your GYN. If nothing is wrong in this area then you need to give some thought to the first two items I have written about.
You know yourself better than anyone else so be honest with yourself. I and the others here will be here if you want to discuss this further.
why would my ex boyfriend call me a bitch
Because he is immature and has not learned how to respect women. Most of all he is a bastard and that is how they treat women. Forget him and disregard what he says.
i'm 20/f and i've recently started having sex with a new partner. i stopped using the pill 2 or 3 months ago and i was on it for 6 months. he pulls out but i'm wondering if the pill could still be in my system after this long?
Your prescribing doctor for the birth control pill can give you the exact answer. Though after six months I'm certain that the birth-control medication iis totally out of your system.
Note: the pullout method of birth control is the least effective of all birth-control methods. The male emitts a fluid during intercourse that acts as a lubricant. This fluid has semen and it enough to cause a pregnancy . If you are not on another form of birth control it is best to use a condom during intercourse. This fluid is generally called pre-cum.
16/f if that helps any but I am going to be a junior in High School this coming up school year and I am worried about college and everything. I have decided to narrow my choices to either be a Diagnostic Medical Sonographer or an Ob/Gyn (Obstetrics and Gynecologist). My financial situations are not all that great and will definitely be getting loans out and applying for some scholarships. Anyways, I know it ranges between $24,000-$30,000 a year for education and boarding. I was wondering, to save some money could I take the undergraduate courses online then transfer those credits to a Medical school?
I want to go to Ohio State University, instead of taking my undergraduate courses on campus, I will attend an online college, and then once I graduate I will then apply for OSU Wexner Medical College?
It will save me a TON of money in the long run.
Above was an example if I decide to be an Ob/Gyn seeing I only need an associate’s degree to be a DMS.
Here is a website to give you a few information on both of the majors
Diagnostic Medical Sonographer------http://www.ehow.com/list_6560284_classes-become-sonographer_.html
Obstetrics and Gynecologist -----http://www.ehow.com/info_8328288_classes-obgyn.html
Do you know if this is aloud?
Do you recommend anything?
Any scholarship recommendations?
Thank you!
The most likely answer to your question is yes. Many Colleges today offer online classes. To get the unequivocal answer to your question I suggest you call or write Ohio State Registrar's Office and ask them.
Another option that is available to you is your local community college. The cost for tuition should be close to or about the same as on-line courses. There are two benefits to community Colleges beyond an almost guaranteed acceptance of the credits.
1.You have direct student instructor interaction in the classroom as well as interaction with other students. This gives a more balanced approach to the course(s) you are taking.
2. By going to a community college you get to experience some of the college experiences you would definitely miss with online course or by not attending a 4 year school. This is also important as it is part of the maturing process that college provides.
Short answer to your question: Write Ohio State for an answer you can depend upon being the correct answer. Think about a community college for the undergrad work instead of on-line courses.
I was married almost 4 years. We had our problems he stole from my son (his step son) would sell his video games and say he just found a bunch of money he stole a generator from my father and sold it and got caught he got two years probation. He walked out 2 weeks ago took all our money our only car my driver license.( i dont miss him or anything i think our marriage died along time ago) Left me with two children (we have one child together) and the bills i had a full time job but couldnt get back and forth to work i was walking 6 miles with my two kids back and forth to work. I got off work at 10 pm. My brother finally came and got me I didnt have any family there. I moved (12 hours away) I havent talked to him he hasnt even tried to contact me or his daughter. My sons father who i had a child with at the age of 15 (22 now) came with my brother to pick me and the kids up. Hes been great with my son who he hasnt seen in 3 years. He always asks if i need something. He texts me all the time to check on me on the kids. He texts flirty texts. He asked me if he should hate me. I said do you hate me? he said no it feels like we were never gone ( i was gone 5 years) he said it feels the same as before. I said what does that mean he said i dont know. he said he missed me. He has a girlfriend they have been on and off for a few years mainly off. She doesnt like my son my sons father thinks shes jealous of him. Not really a question I am just seeking advice on what you all would do in this situation.
I would probably say it a bit differently than Zane has but he is correct. Your husband is legally responsible for his two children until they reach age 18. Depending on state laws he may also owe you some financial support in the way of alimony.
For the children his responsibility includes financial support, medical support in the form of health insurance, a life insurance policy to cover the cost of this support until they are 18. There are both state and federal laws and assistance to assist you in getting this support from him. I would also believe that since one of the children he left behind is not yours, you do not say if you adopted her. He could be charged with child abandonment.
IF he can be charged with child abandonment then this charge, which I believe would be a felony, it could be used to force him into complying with his responsibilities as the father of the children.
The first thing you need to do is contact a good lawyer. Tell this lawyer everything and let him/her set the proper actions in motion this would include getting child support for your first child from his father. Visitation and child support are two separate issue and one does not rely on the other.
Next you and possibly the children should seek some professional counseling to deal with all this. You need to do this before you become romantically involved with anyone else.
Should I wait to get my books until after the first day of classes or should I go ahead and get them? My parents say that I should wait, but I'm not really liking the idea of walking into class the first day unprepared.Will the books be sold out if I wait to buy my books?
It has been awhile since anyone in my family has attended college though I do know several college instructors. Many of them have websites or Facebook pages on the college web server.
By now you know what classes you have been accepted to and who the instructors are. I would suggest you look them up on the college server, which you should enroll in or have access to by now.
The instructors who want you to come fully prepared for class on day one will have their book list and syllabus available for downloading. They will also have other study guides or materials they expect you to have on the first day of class posted.
This is college in the Internet age. Many instructors and professors do not want to lead you around by the hand as your instructors in public school have. The information has been posted and they are leaving it up to you to find it and come prepared for class.
Those instructors who have not posted anything should be continued to be checked on. If they do not post anything then a notebook and pen is all that is required for the first day of class.
You can go to the college bookstore as well. Sometimes instructors have left lists of which books they have selected for their classes at the college bookstore. This is somewhat old school though it still works. If you plan on buying your books on EBay or other site; make sure to copy all the information not just the title. The Edition and which printing of the edition is important to have the same book as the instructor has requested.
I'm 13, whenever I drink redbull I start feeling sick, not straight away though,like a hour later but its like hectic nausea. Can it be the redbull? And if so why? I drink it a lot so its not like my bodys not used to it.
Energy drinks such as redbull, monster 5Hour energy are loaded with caffeine. Certain sodas you may drink are also loaded with caffeine. You say you drink a lot of redbull. What else have you drunk during the day? How much coffee have you had? This all adds up and at some point you become over caffeinated. You are overdosed on caffeine, you get sick, nauseous and may even vomit.
The feeling you are getting is your body sending you a signal. Ignore the signal and continue drinking these beverages and you could pass out. Go into respiratory arrest and die. It has been reported to happen.
These beverages are not good for you. Many major sports owners have either banned their players or drivers from using these drinks or strictly control the consumption. If it is considered bad for major sports players who are in top shape; I wonder how good they possibly can be for a 13 year old boy?
I want to feel worthy of living. I don't feel I deserve anything I have/ever will. I think about the roof I have over my head and feel guilty because there's someone my age who's much smarter and prettier out there who doesn't have a good home, and I do. I almost feel as if I'm stealing from someone who actually deserves the things I have. Even breathing gives me anxiety, I feel like I'm taking oxygen from people who actually matter.
I feel like a humongous waste of space and time. I wish so much that someone else had been born into this situation in my place. I have no idea why God put me here. But then sometimes I think, "Without ugly people, there are no beautiful people." and like, SOMEONE has to have an average IQ, I guess.
These feelings have been growing since I was 10. I'm 19 now, and I don't think I can take much more of this life. I've stopped praying because I feel like I'm bothering Him. And I know that's not true, but I feel like that anyway. I have a lot of friends, but I'm always the one comforting THEM and listening to THEIR troubles. They don't feel like they have to care about my worries. I always pretend like I'm happy, I've gotten so good at it, I almost fool myself. But I have this constant depression cloud hanging over me, sometimes it's impossible to ignore.
To release some tension, I've taken to cutting myself secretly. It's always in covered places, if you can see them I always have an excuse. I looked up how much aspirin it would take to kill a person, separated that much into a plastic baggie and keep it in my sock drawer. I made a post-suicidal apology video. Literally the only reason I'm still alive right now is because of how much it would scar my mother. I honestly don't know why she loves me, my other siblings are astronomically more talented and beautiful. When I drive across bridges on the highway, I have to restrain myself from driving off them. I'm not afraid of dark and empty parking lots or anything because if someone killed me, I'd be relieved. And as sick as this is, sometimes I daydream about getting a terminal illness, not telling anyone about it, and dying a few days later.
I'm not looking for a pity-party, or anyone to tell me not to do it. I hate it when people use cutting or suicide threats for attention. I want to know how I can tolerate myself again, and maybe even learn to like me. I don't know how much longer I can go for anymore. I can feel myself coming to my limit. Soon my mom won't even matter to me. I already know Jesus loves me no matter what, and however I die I'll be with him. But... At the same time, you get one life. This is it. Any tips for me to want to continues living? Much appreciated, sorry for the length, thanks for your time.
You sound like someone who is suffering from some type of survivors guilt or maybe suffered a trauma that you have suppressed these past 9 years. By you cutting I believe you are depressed which would include the survivors guilt I see in what you have written.
I can't say why I see survivors guilt as it is not what you say but how you have said it that causes me to see this. Survivors guilt is a form of trauma survival where you survived something others have not.
What you do need is professional help for a psychiatrist for possible medication and a psychologist for talk therapy to find the root cause of the problem. You speak of having made plans for suicide which says you are actively suicidal having suicidal ideation. You should seek immediate help.
The fastest way to get the help you need is to call 911. Tell them about the video you made and the bag of aspirin in your sock draw. They will send help to you. I suggest you do this now. You have taken the first step in asking for help by writing to us. Calling 911 is the next best step in helping yourself.
You can also call the National Suicide hot line. Their number is 1-800-273-8255. This line is available 24/7. No matter what problems you are dealing with, they want to help you find a reason to keep living. By calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255) you’ll be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area, anytime 24/7.
Please call either 911 or the hotline for help. Life is worth living. I know this for I am a survivor.
I have been having unprotected sex with my boyfriend, neither of us were virgins when we met, couple days after having sex I realize that I have a bad odor(like a decayed animal). I don't have the funds to attend a gynecologist or doctor, what should I do? We both thinks it yeast, is it?
Look for a planned parenthood clinic in your area. They will treat you free of charge or for a fee that is reasonable based on your ability to pay.
I've got some concerns about my health, um, down there, and I want to go see a gynecologist. I recently turned 18, but I am still under my parents' health insurance.
Up until recently I've been going to a pediatrician. For my next check up, I need to find a new doctor - but I don't know when that will be.
I just don't feel comfortable asking my mom to make me an appointment with a gynecologist. Usually, you start going to those when you are sexually active, and I don't want my mom to think that I am. Even though I'm legally an adult, I'm still her kid, and it would still freak her out to think that I'm having sex. I'm actually not sexually active currently, but I have been in the past, and if I do have some sort of infection down there, I'll be prescribed medication, and she'll know about it (like I said, I'm under my parents' insurance).
The college I'm going to has a pretty crappy health service, so there's no way I can see anyone about my little problem there.
What do I do?
Thank you :)
You are 18 now; legally an adult. Your parents no longer have any control or right to know anything about you medical information. This is the law.
Your doctors can no longer speak to your parents about anything concerning your health and medical needs or visits without your expressed written permission. In fact mom can no longer be with you in an exam room, without your permission. Your parents cannot make a doctors appointment for you or force you to see a doctor.
The fact that you are still covered under their medical insurance does not give your parents any rights to know anything about your medical information. What they will receive since you are on their insurance is called an EOB, an Explanation of Benefits, they receive this in the mail. All this will show is you saw a particular doctor on a certain date and the insurance company paid that doctor a certain amount.
I suggest you do the following. First you need to get a copy of your parents insurance card, which you need to have with you at all times now anyway. Call the insurance company and they will send you one. You can probably do this online with most insurance companies.
You can also look up online for a Gynecologist in your area who accepts your parents health insurance. Blue Cross Blue Shield is the most popular insurance and accepted by most all doctors. Make sure you know the type of insurance you have. If you have EPO or PPO type you can see any doctor that accepts their insurance.
If you have HMO insurance you must first choose a family doctor and visit that doctor to request a referral to see the Gynecologist. With HMO coverage you usually do not have a co-pay and the family doctor is called the gatekeeper. This doctor receives a monthly fee for every patient registered to that practice whether they see that patient or not or how many times they see that patient. This doctor is responsible for you medical care and makes all decisions as to what specialist you can see. This is why it is important to know the type of coverage you have and should be printed on your health insurance card.
As for medications. If you have prescription medication benefits what is true for the doctors visits are true for the pharmacy as well. Any prescription filled is none of your parents business. Here again you are legally an adult now and the pharmacist will no longer tell them anything about any medication you receive. Just make sure to tell the pharmacy you use you are 18 now.
The medications a GYN may prescribe for an infection are no different than your other doctors would prescribe for an infection. An antibiotic works just as well down there as it would for a throat infection. So mom could not tell just from knowing the medication.
What does this all come to? You are now in-charge of your on medical well being. Your parents, even if they are the holders of your insurance, have no say and they can no longer receive any information concerning your medical condition. As long as you are conscious,alert and able to speak for yourself; a federal law called HIPPA, Health Information Personal Privacy act, guarantees this.
If you have any question and I'm sure you will as this is a lot to digest. Call the customer service line for your insurance company. They will be happy to answer your questions and help you chose doctors to care for you medical needs as long as you are covered by them.
Note: Since you are now 18 you are also entitled to a sex life if you want one. Your parents have no say in the matter. When you visit your GYN consider asking for birth control medication.
I'm a 20 year old female and am trying to plan a trip for this autumn or winter. I will be traveling (alone) from Oklahoma to California to stay with my brother for a few days. I plan on driving. While I know that will be more expensive than buying a plane ticket (after gas, food, and a night or two in hotels along the way) I prefer this way because I want to sight-see on my way there.
Basically I need to know how to save money on my trip. I have the funds to make this trip happen but obviously I'd like to save as much money as possible. I've never travelled on my own before so I'm a little clueless!
Have you considered taking a bus. It is inexpensive and you can route yourself to get on and off the bus close to the sights you really want to see. I mention this as women traveling alone is not the safest thing, unfortunately.
If you are going to drive alone then map out your route well ahead of time. Stick to the interstate highways and plan to drive a set amount of hours a day. Have hotel reservations at each stop and check in with your brother or parents at a time they expect you to while you're on the road.
Truck stops are a great place to stop for food and fuel. They are usually well lit, many are family friendly and the food is usually good to great, plentiful and inexpensive. They also have well stocked convenience stores should you need to pick up anything. So if there are numerous trucks parked there and family cars as well, it is a safe bet the food is good. These are great places for any meal of the day and all meals of the day are served around the clock.
For dinner ask the desk clerk at your motel where they like to eat. They will steer you away from any tourist restaurant if you ask nicely. Most motel these days offer some type of breakfast so you won't have to pay for that meal.
Before you leave have your checked over by a good ASE mechanic, your local car dealer is a good choice. Tell them you are going to drive to CA and they will check the car over, perform any routine maintenance and look for anything that could cause you trouble on the road and correct it before you leave.
Make sure you have copies of your car's registration and insurance card. Make copies and have one copy in your purse and one copy in the car.
Now this will sound strange but most of us have locked their keys in the car at one time or another. As I fire fighter I have had to open a number of cars because people have locked themselves out. Not all fire or police department will do this. Get a copy of the key numbers from the dealership where you purchased the car and keep them with you. If you ever lock yourself out a locksmith can make you a key from the numbers. A lot less expensive than the cost of them trying to pick the lock. Do not use this key to start the car as it won't be programed to the cars computer and you will be locked out of the starter for 15 minutes. Just use it to open the door.
Mostly though common sense prevails. Purchasing food or gas near tourist areas is going to be more expensive than in town or near the highways. Eat at truck stops that are well used by truckers and families or at chain restaurants
whose signs you will see on the highways. The food should be what you expect and the prices close to what you would pay at home.
Most important should you have a break down on the highway, pull to the side of the road. Get out of your car and on the other side of the guardrail or barrier. Call 911 from your cell phone and ask for assistance. Stay away from your car until help arrives.
Enjoy your road trip.
So im 15/f and my friend is 15/m. However, im gonna be a junior and he's gonna be a sophomore in hs. And he gets bullied a lot! He's short and small and has some issues like if you met him you could understand why he gets bullied. These douchebags at school always pick on him, beat him up and no one does anything about it. Hes also very sensitive and I Just want to help him get tougher skin and to help him stop getting bullied
However, i dont know how to do this because i also get picked on all.the.time. I get racist jokes, jokes about my name, these guys always pick on me in class. Its never ending torture, i mean tbh i dont care and i dont really get upsrt cause theyre just idiots and i just laugh with them cause i think some r just joking and r just assholes in general but for the new year coming up, i want it to stop so i can actually pay attention in class and not feel nervous all the time cause of them. I dont want to use any teacher or parental help cause they dont help they just make things worse..trust me none of these kids care about getting in trouble but if they knew u got them in trouble..well theyd just be worse. So how do me and my friend get respect and make them stop? Should i stop laughing and ignore them? Should my friend get fit so he can take them? Or something? Idk please help and remember how kids can be and dont just give the "Professional" answer but something that can actually work. So yeah sorry this was long but thanks for helping!
Edited answer: My advice is to continue to call the police and file complaints. IF they are habitual at breaking the law they will receive stiffer penalties and those left behind will eventually meet up with the law. At some point they will either learn to live by the rules, or learn to like living in jail or you will eventually run out of bullies as they will all be in jail.
Continued pressure by the police on the school system will also force the board of education to take some type of action to see to it, that at least in school you are safe from bullying.
This may mean the school system allows police officers in the school as resource officers. My school system has police officers in all High school and middle schools. Do we have a bullying problem? Not to the extent we once had. The resource office patrols the hallways during class changes and when not teaching a now required class on bullying and harassment. He or she is also is in the lunchroom during lunch periods.
You can walk the halls in our schools and see halo's over the heads of almost every kid for they never know where that officer is. If you start a fight or if they see bullying there action is swift and someone has new jewelry. This is what you may have to fight for. We did and it is working.
You and your friends have voice, Use it to get the safe environment you are entitled to.
Unfortunately without the professional answer there is not a lot to tell you about how to stop being bullied. In fact the only true way to stop a bully is to find a bigger bully to protect you.
Not knowing where you live I can only suggest you find out if you live in one of the states that have passed anti bullying laws. If you do then you have the biggest bullies on the block to protect you.
If your state has made bullying a criminal offence then the police and their parents become their bullies. You report the bullying to the police. The bullies may not be afraid of teachers or principals. They will be cowed by being marched out of school in handcuffs by the police.
Once arrested they will be suspended pending trial. There parents are going to spend thousands of dollars for lawyers to defend them. I can't tell you what the end result will be. What I can tell you is that a signal will be sent throughout the school that bullying is not acceptable. They will learn the hard way the consequences of their actions. Their parents will learn to be more active parents responsible for their children in and out of school.
One thing for sure is they will or should be never allowed to return to your school. Some school system have special schools for kids that have had run in with the criminal justice system. Other school systems expel the students and parents need to homeschool them.
Long story short; If the school is not doing their job then report the bullying to the police. Even if they have not had new laws passed yet. It sounds like some racism is involved and some sexual harassment as well. Those laws are already on the books in all states.
My ways of coping w/sadness have never really been healthy. Self-harm was a part of my life for 3 years & the last time was 4 months ago. I don't have much desire to do it again because I don't feel it has the same affect on me anymore. About a year ago I began praying & trying to put my life in Gods hands & I feel I've built a strong relationship w/God I feel I've gained a lot of hope/faith from it, but when I'm sad I feel I become a completely different person I become so angry & feel so helpless & all I do is cry & feel like dying after I've taken some time to calm down those feelings subside. I'm just afraid I won't give myself some time to calm down & I'll end up acting on those feelings... need advice :)
Thank you! any advice is very much appreciated :)
I'm not a doctor though I have battled with depression myself. It sounds to me that you too are battling with minor depressive episodes that for now you are able to help yourself through. We can call this normal depression that affects us all.
What concerns you and happens to 1 in 3 is that one of these episodes will not respond to what you do to bring yourself out of a depressive episode. This is called clinical depression and requires professional help to overcome.
As you may be aware of these episodes are triggered by some form of stress. Stress is a major trigger of depression. Stress triggers depression. Depression triggers pain and pain triggers depression. It becomes a vicious cycle.
While you may not be at this time suffering from clinical depression you might be close to it. Only a doctor can diagnose this with a simple test. The test is verbal answers to a list of questions the doctor will ask. Based on your answers the doctor can diagnose if you are depressed, have been in a depressive episode and how severe your depression may be.
Clinical depression as opposed to manic depression, also called bipolar disorder, is easy to treat. Medications can be indicated at times. Though mostly talk therapy with a clinical psychologist is all that is needed.
What I suggest you do is make an appointment with your doctor for a complete physical. Your doctor is going to want to do one in any case to rule out any organic reason for you feeling as you do. While the doctor is examining you the questions needed to be asked to diagnose depression can be asked at the same time.
The doctor may suggest medication to help you. Accept the medication it won't hurt you and you should only have to take it for 6 to 12 months. In 2 to 3 weeks you will start to feel better after you start the medication. You will or should still see a therapist for talk therapy. The medication will kick start your feeling better.
15/f im not in a relationship with a guy but we are together and its weird we are good friends but we hookup and if we have sex I don't know if its gonna be one time or more so it doesn't really pay to get on birth control pills. does an IUD mess up your hormones like birth control does? does it hurt getting put in and taken out? how effective is it? and will I feel it once in and during sex?
Question: "will I feel it once in and during sex?" No and neither will your partner. There is also a string you can feel for that will hang down from your cervix along the inner side of your vagina. This string is so that you can check and make sure the IUD is still in place. Neither you or your partner should feel this string during intercourse.
Question: "does an IUD mess up your hormones like birth control does?" No an IUD does not mess with your hormones. There are reports that and IUD does cause heavier menstrual flow during your period. You may also experience strong period cramping.
Question: "does it hurt getting put in and taken out?" My wife told me it was very painful having her IUD put in as the doctor had to dilate her cervix. Since she had not had children yet this was a very painful procedure for her. It was less painful having it removed.
Pain is a relative thing. What is painful for one person may be more or less painful to another. This is why doctors ask you to rate your pain on a scale of one to ten with ten being the worst pain you have ever felt. My wife rated hers a six.
Question:how " how effective is it?" The IUD has a failure rates of 0.2% in the first year of use. According to the " Department of Gynecology and Obstetrics, The Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, Baltimore, Maryland (2012-03-28). The Johns Hopkins manual of gynecology and obstetrics. "
I believe this answers all your questions. I hope you find this helpful.
Note: Having sex with a good friend is like loaning money to a good friend, It is a great way to ruin a friendship. Something to consider.
Is it normal for a 13 year old girl to watch porn?
There is nothing wrong with watching porn. Porn can be and has been a great learning tool for both boys and girls as well as a tool for masturbation which is also very normal.
According to a survey done not long ago about 85% of us masturbate. This includes adults and those young people going through puberty. Masturbation is only wrong if it becomes all encompassing to the exclusion of everything else in ones life.
Is it normal for you to watch porn, my answer is yes. Why because you are inquisitive and porn helps answer those questions you may have. Those who think porn is wrong think so because they believe it is degrading to the actors.
Those who star in porn movies make excellent earnings. The stars of the porn industry can make well into the upper 6 and 7 figure earnings. No one holds a gun to their head to act in these films and that kind of earning is far from degrading.
If you are enjoying watching porn, are learning from it and able to release pent up sexual energy rather than actually having sex with someone. Then it is normal for you and that is all that matters.
At 13 you are way too young to actually be having sex. Porn is a great outlet for sexual tension resulting from puberty. So don't be concerned with what is considered normal for normal is really what is normal for you.
We used a condom correctly. The condom didn't break or anything. And i'm 19 days late. It was his first time in 5 years. What is your opinion?
It is possible that you are pregnant though there is also a bigger possibility you are not. Stress is the biggest cause of a woman missing her period, even more so than being pregnant.
While it is true that condoms are only 85% effective when used correctly. There are other factors involved such as where you ovulating at the time of intercourse.
Stress, antibiotics, and extreme exercise are three of the largest factors in a woman missing her period with stress being the larger of the three. If you have been stressed out over will you or are you pregnant; this may be the cause of your missed period.
I suggest you do as laynemayhem suggested and get 3 home pregnancy tests kits. These test are prone to giving false positives more than false negatives. So regardless of what the first test says you wait ten more days and test again. IF you get the same result then whatever that result may be is probably correct. If you get a different result you test again in ten days even.
The other alternative is you can go to any free clinic for women and have a blood test done. Once you have the results and hopefully they are negative. If you are over 14 you can request birth control medication and it will be dispensed at little or no charge to you. This is your right under a law Known as HIPPA.
i am a virgin , 19 yrs old , i and my boyfriend tried anal sex for the first time without protection (but it dint workout in the end ) . he applied some oil near my anal hole for the penetration to be easier . and when he tried , his penis got slipped because of the oil and it touched my vagina. he did not release sperms during that time but he was having the preejaculation fluid on his penis when it slipped and touched my vagina. this happened a few times , i washed it off after 15 mins and urinated also . are there any chances of me getting pregnant because of his penis touching my vagina a few time ? and i came to know that an emergency contraceptive pill has to be taken within 72 hours and i took it on the 70th hour . will it be effective . will that ipill cause any delay in my periods ? i heard that there will be side effects like nausea , lower abdomen pain , but i dint get any of them after taking that pill .though we dint have sex , i am afraid , plz help me , thanku
First: I do not think you are pregnant. Yes there is sperm in the pre-ejaculation fluid. Unless his penis entered your vagina it is very unlikely that the sperm made its way inside you. The plan B pill as it is called is most effective if taken within 48 to 72 hours after sex but has also been known to be effective for up to a week.
The stress over whether you are or you are not pregnant is enough to delay your period by itself. Stress is the number one cause of missed periods. To lower your anxiety purchase a home pregnancy test kit and follow the manufacturer's directions as to how soon after the sexual contact to use it and the right time to use it.
If you're concerned with mom finding it. Find the one you want at the pharmacy read the directions and then purchase it the day before you can use it. Keep it in your purse. Use the kit, repackage it after the negative results are given, which I believe you will get, and dispose of it away from home.
You are 19 now fully an adult under the law. You are entitled to a sex life if and when you want one. You are and have been for some time entitled to get birth control pills. Even if you are still on your parents health insurance. As an adult even if you are in school and on your parent health insurance they no longer can see your medical records or have any knowledge of your visits to or treatments by a medical doctor or dentist without your expressed written permission. This is covered under a federal law known as HIPPA. HIPPA is: The Health Information Personal Protection Act.
This means no one can know anything about your personal health or medical information than what you allow them to know. So if you want birth control medication you can have it. Your parents health insurance will pay for the doctors visit and the medication if they have prescription benefits.
Your parents will never know why you visited your doctor and the pharmacist cannot tell them what medications have been dispensed to you either. My advice is if you are going to experiment with sex in this manner that you get birth control medication.
Below is some information on how to have anal sex. It is a beginners guide. I included it incase you want to try again. Done properly anal sex can be very enjoyable for both partners. Unlike vaginal sex it does have a learning curve to it to be enjoyable or it will be very painful.
http://www.babeland.com/sexinfo/howto/buttsexbeginners
http://sexuality.about.com/od/analplay/ht/anal_sex_how_to.htm
How to entertain a three year old for hours?
Three year olds are long on energy and short on attention span. If you can take them to a park where there may be other children they can play with that is a good idea. One very important thing about going to a public park. YOU CAN NOT TAKE YOUR EYES OF THE CHILD FOR A SECOND. Two reasons for this:
1. To make sure no one walks off with the child in you care, most important.
2. To make sure the child stays away from the things that are above the child's age group to play on.
Children this age love to explore. You can take the child on an adventure/nature walk. Make sure to take a stroller with you for when they run out of energy it is immediate. If you do not have the stroller you will end up carrying the child home.
For indoor things there are arts and crafts such as crayons and finger painting. Reading to them. Playing with them and their toys or simply watch them entertain themselves. At that age they are quite capable of entertaining themselves or you.