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My family is falling apart
I'm 15f and I sit in my room on certain nights crying cause I can hear my mom and dad fighting and either my dad is drunk or something else I want them to stop but i can't do anything as I'm their kid I can't tell them no I have two younger sibling who are nine and five I look out for them and I can't take it anymore I don't know what to do any more they don't get violent but they do scream at each other and I have to distract my sister and brother so they don't hear it I can't cry in front of my siblings cause they will know something is wrong I just can't do it anymore
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This isn't an uncommon thing for children. I think a lot of us can remember growing up and listening to our parents argue.
The reason they argue is probably because your dad is drunk. Marriage is hard because it's two people who are completely different, living together and trying to raise kids the same way, pay bills, ect.
What you need to do is find a time when one of them or both of them are calm and not fighting and go talk to them. Tell them that you hear when they fight and you don't like it. They'll probably do their best to not fight so loud or to try to solve their problems in a better way.
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It is unfortunate but parents do argue. When they do they forget that the children can hear them and what their arguing can do or how it may make them feel. It is not unlike if you have a fight with a close friend. You forget, don't notice or at the time don't care that you may be overheard by others. What is important is that you get said what is on you mind. It is called being human.
You are doing the right thing by trying to protect your younger siblings so they do not get upset or scared by your parents fighting. The fact that your parents fight on "certain nights" tells me it is not a constant every day thing.
That when your father comes home drunk may be a catalyst for some of the fights. It could be that your father drove home drunk or came home late and drunk or something else that his being drunk touched off. The other reasons could be many and have nothing to do with whether your parents still love each other.
There is a lot of stress on parents especially in todays economy. This stress is what causes arguments which in the past would possibly have led to discussions rather than arguments. The difference to day is the reason behind the argument and what can be done to settle problems. Sometimes it is just so overwhelming that as for dad he drinks to get stress relief and this upsets mom.
Now this is just a guess on my part as for the cause behind the arguments. What you can do is when mom is calm sit with her and tell her, calmly, that you and your siblings can hear her and your dad arguing. That do what you can to distract your younger siblings so as they do not get scared but it doesn't help your feelings. Then ask mom if there is anything you can do, such as helping out around the house that might make a difference for her.
I'm sure mom will tell you what she feels is relevant for you to know and put you at ease about the arguing. Just remember one thing about arguments. That is what we say in the heat of anger is not always what we mean. In the heat of an argument we want to win the argument to end it and in many instances we say things to hurt the other person we don't truly mean just to end the argument. So don't take to heart what you may hear them say. It is just there anger of the moment talking.
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