Gender:
MaleMember Since:
June 18, 2009Answers:
8136Last Update:
May 26, 2019Visitors:
138460Favorite Columnists
karenR
AyyItsKristen
Erinn_the_bamf
Xui
storageanddisposal
lvr
Smartone
bewise
GradingCurve
anonymous99
HildaJrCarter
more...
Main Categories:
General Sex Questions
Abusive Relationships
Cooking
View All
about
My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
What's the best master program for someone who wants to have the available option of becoming a doctor/work in a health field, running a product line/making contributions to an enterprise, or both?
Public Health, Business Administration with Healthcare concentration, Health Administration, or Healthcare Administration?
I applied to some campuses that offers those listed graduate programs, and I'm watching out for those that will ultimately accept me or not. Would I have more opportunities to possibly branch out into business related field too if I've ended up doing the latter two masters?
I know of three people who did not get into Med School directly out of college. Even though they had 3.5 to 4.0 GPA's it was there MSAT scores that may have kept them out the first time. As hard as it is to get into a Medical school I don't know if I would be fooling with a double major in two different career fields.
The people I know who are all now doctors took only premed courses in Grad school. Exactly what courses they were I'm not sure. They all were part of the volunteer Rescue Squad I belonged to and acquired their EMT qualifications then their Paramedic qualifications. The ran 911 calls with us and worked in hospital ER's. They built up a good resume to submit with their applications the next time and they were all accepted.
I am also aware of a company founded by three very successful doctors of psychiatry. They were and are great doctors. They turned out to be lousy businessmen and after building a successful bas company the bankrupted it when they tried to expand beyond their base knowledge.
What I'm trying delicately to say her is both professions you are trying to follow require fulltime attention to be successful. It is nearly impossible to be good in both which is why most successful practioner's have outside consultants handling the business side of their practices.
My suggestion is if you want to be a Doctor then follow a path to successful admission into a med school. You can take a minor if office management if you wish.
Lets start off by saying I'm pretty sure I have Social Anxiety. It's not professionally diagnosed but I am 99.9% sure I have it. I can't talk to people, get really worked up in social situations, and have had minor panic attacks in the past. Tye reason that I haven't went to somebody for this is because my parents are anti-therapy. My mom only believes in therapy if you're addicted to drugs or suicidal, and my dad thinks therapy is a hoax. I'm 15 with no money so it's not like I can go see anyone. Back on subject, I have a lot of nervous tendacies that I think rooted from the Social Anxiety, such as me being too afraid to eat around my peers, biting my nails, and ripping my hair put when I'm nervous. I also chew on a lot of stuff when nervous. I have recently gone to my mother to seek guidance to my problems, and she said I just need to stop. The problem is, I can't just stop. The reason I brought up therapy earlier was because I thought maybe talking to so.eone professionally might help, but apparently a therapist is a waste of money and all I need to do is stop, and everything will be better! Why can't she understand stuff doesn't work that way!? My situation is getting worse and worse everyday and I don't know what to do anymore. Any advice?
I use to feel as your dad does until I needed help. I will tell you why in a bit. The reason most of us my age and your dads age is we don't understand how therapy works. How does taking to someone fix something. Our Idea of medicine is if your bleeding you bandage it or if your sick you take a pill. Now there are medications you can take for the anxiety but it won't fix the problem.
I was involved in a life changing auto accident. I was stopped at a traffic an run into from behind that the impact was estimated to be at 60 mph. My injuries forced me into early retirement. I was not ready to retire and I actually loved the job I was doing. That was problem number 1. Then since I was driving a company car I had to deal with their insurance company and their lawyers, Workman's Compensation and their lawyers plus my own lawyer their everyone's doctors plus my own. During the course of all this something occurred that pushed me over the edge and I fell into a deep depression.
Fortunately my wife happened to work for the largest supplier of mental health treatment in the country. The doctors she worked for immediately recognized what was happening to me and while they could not treat me they convinced me to seek help and referred me to a psychiatrist and a therapist.
My first question to the therapist was how does this work. I still can't explain how it works but I'm here to day to tell you it does. I say here today because I was very close to taking a short walk in front of a freight train.
What I do know is you have to find the root cause of the problem. What I found out was what I thought was the problem was only the final trigger.
My suggestion to you is this. By law you are old enough to make your own doctors appointment. If you can get to the doctor on your own then do so. Tell the doctor what you told us. Then let the doctor call mom and dad and tell them you need help. They should believe your doctor. If they don't then you can ask for help at school and they will get child protective service involved.
If you can't get to the doctors office then tell mom you have a women's problem and need to see the doctor. A problem with your period or sever cramping. By law you can tell the doctor you are invoking the HIPPA rules which means mom can not be in the exam room with you. Once in the exam room you can explain to the doctor the real reason you are there and why you had to give a different reason to see the doctor in order to get there.
I never had any real siblings growing up but I always wanted one. I didn't connect the dits till later in life that I actually had a sister, since my dad married another woman, had a child, got a divorce, and then married my mom. I was a slow child and didn't really figure this out until later. I tried being around her and talking but she always seemed to hang around the adults and talk about stuff I didn't quite understand. I was ten at the time, fifteen now if that helps. I have recently met my best friends siblings, half siblings like mine, and all grown up, like mine. Whats makes my sister amd hers so different is that they actually treat her like a sister. Playing around with her, visiting her, and just loving each other like sibling would. It makes me sad that my sisee doesn't treat me like that. I would talk to her about it but she moved and told no one about it. Nobody has her number or her adress anymore. Since I was little I have always wanted a sibling, to this day I still do. It makes me so angry and sad that I could have had these things, but I couldn't. I just want to know why she would act this way, and why I never got the sibling I always wanted. I don't think it was anger from the divorve since that happened 4 or 5 years before I was born, when she was my current age.
First of all whatever the problem was or is between you and your sister it is obvious to me from what you have written that none of it was you. We can't all have a Brady Bunch life when two families are merged into one. The fact that your step-sister moved out without notice or forwarding address tells me the problem was all hers and that she may have never accepted the marriage of her mother to your father. If that is true then she never saw you as a sister either.
IT is not for me to say why you never got the sibling you wanted. That is something that is really a matter for your parents. Think about this though; while it is unlikely that our dad and stepmom will have a child. How will you react to having a half sister who by your age you will be more of an Aunt then sister to.
So I got engaged yesterday. It was super sweet. He asked me in front of everyone. But honestly I felt obligated to say yes. I am scared. I love him so much but I have been married and divorced and I couldn't imagine going through it again. I am terrified. I am having doubts but I don't want to break his heart.... or my own. I know if I lost him I would be devastated but I know how bad marriage can be. What do I do? Should I see a therapist? I feel so confused and lost right now. On top of that my dad died I cant imagine him not being there. gosh Life is hard. Help please
Yes see a therapist will be very helpful to you. If you have health insurance through work then you probably have and employee assistance program. This program will not only helps you find a (EAP)therapist it generally pays for the first few visits then your insurance will cover as described in the coverage contract.
IF you don't have an EAP and you live at home and you mother works and her company has one the plan covers anyone under her roof. The same is true if you live with your fiancée and his employer has EAP coverage.
Next one bad marriage should not ruin you for life. My niece had a bad marriage and was sure she would never remarry. That was six years ago one 4 year old child and a very happy marriage. My nephew in-law is head over heal in love with her. They have a beautiful home. They travel even with my great nephew as an infant he traveled papoose style on daddy's back across Europe and London hen to New Zealand. In December they are going back to New Zealand and taking my sister and my other niece with them.
I'm not telling you this to make you jealous. I'm telling you this to point out that not every guy is a dud. There are a lot of great guys out there and it sounds like you may have found one.
I suggest the following.
1. Seek out a good therapist; you will probably be more comfortable with a woman so ask for one when you contact EAP or your doctor or insurance company for a referral. You won't need a medical referral but your doctor might know of someone he or she trusts.
2. At this point don't be in a rush to the alter. There is nothing wrong with long engagements. You’re going to need time to save for the wedding anyway.
3. If you are not already living with your fiancée then consider doing so. But only after you have talked it over with your therapist.
4. My condolences on the loss of your father. You need tome to grieve. We ask grieve differently and there are 5 to seven stages of grief. You need to go through all the stages, this takes time.
5. Last sit down with your fiancée and explain to him your fears and what you’re doing to overcome them. If you haven't told him what caused your divorce now is the time to do so. Last thing is to ask him if he will attend some therapy sessions with you. If he is the man you describe he will say yes. This will be the signal you need to see to know this is a man who is different from your ex and you can have a life with him.
I noticed last year, I didn't see my period for a month.. This year also, I didnt get my period for September.Around September, I almost had sex and tho twas painful, I stopped before he actually went deep. I now got my period 14days after that incident.. I'm scared.. I've been reading lots about implantation bleeding and all.. He didn't cum, we practically didn't have sex cos the penetration was painful for me.. Is it possible I'm pregnant?
I don't think your pregnant.
You say you had your period. Was it a normal period for you? If so you are probably not pregnant. Implantation bleeding in general is not like a normal period; read below.
If your still worried enough time has past that you can take a home pregnancy test. I am going to assume you are a young teenager. As long as you are 14 or older the pharmacy or store cannot refuse to sell you the test kit; this is the law.
I normally do not help anyone deceive their parents but I make an exception in this case. Keep the kit in you purse. When you go to take your morning shower wrap the kit in a towel and take in with you. Carefully open the test kit. Follow the directions after you get the results repackage the kit and wrap it in the towels and take it back to your room and put in your purse to dispose of at school. If the test kit does not require your first pee in the morning then you could possibly test at school.
Should you get a positive reaction don't freak out. These kits are prone to giving false positives especially the more inexpensive kits. Buy a different kit and test again.
_________________________________________________
implantation bleeding tends to be much lighter than menstrual bleeding.
Implantation bleeding usually presents about a week before your menstrual period is due to begin (or 9 days after ovulation). Many women refer to this as spotting or do not even notice the bleeding at all. The closer to the day when the menstrual cycle is supposed to begin that the bleeding is noticed, the less chance of it being implantation bleeding.
So recently I have started to feel rather ungrateful toward my parents and I'm feeling a bit guilty about that.
I really love my parents, I do. They've done a great job raising me and are quite supportive. They want the best for me, and I know they love me a lot.
But recently I keep thinking about things they've done wrong. Rules from my childhood that may have been detrimental to my development. Things they have said and done recently that are harmful to my mental health. I keep thinking that they have hurt me, they have left permanent scars on me.
I don't know why I'm feeling this way, and I don't like it, but I can't get these thoughts out of my head. They are in no way abusive, I have no reason to be feeling resentful or ungrateful. Literally as I am writing this, my mom is texting me to help me destress about this school thing that had me really anxious. She cares, yet I can't stop thinking badly about her and my dad. What's wrong with me?
There is a funny thing about children and becoming a parent. Children are not like a new car they don't come with a buyers guide or handbook. They are their own little individuals even as infants. Parenting one child will not be the same for parenting a second child. We try to be fair with our children and treat them equally when we have more than one and maybe this is where we make our biggest mistakes as parents not recognizing them as individuals.
You say, "I keep thinking about things they've done wrong. Though you give no specifics. You say, "Things they have said and done recently that are harmful to my mental health." Once again you have not given specifics. Without giving any details it is hard to offer any help beyond the fact that parents say and do things that are wrong and sometimes very spiteful. Were human we make mistakes but the one thing you can count on is our love.
I am not going to belittle your problems for they are real and you are not the only child to feel as you do about how your parents raised you and how it may effect you latter in life.
Your school should have a counseling center I suggest you go and make an appointment for some counseling. If you allow his to eat at you it will turn into a full blown depressive episode at some point and you want to avoid that. I've been there and it is a dark hole you never want to go down. Some talk therapy will help you put this in the right perspective and avoid getting depressed over it.
I don't know what to do. I can't sleep. I can't think about anything other than what happened.
I'm devastated and horrified and angry and confused. I'm a college student and working. I don't know what to do. I just found out today and already missed two assignments. Help...
None of us saw this coming, he was not abusive or a cruel man. He was nothing, but kind to me and the rest of our family.
I'm sorry for your loss I know you are devastated by this. This is is not a forum by which any of us can help you. You need to speak with someone one on one. so you get immediate feed back and help.
You school should have a counseling center. Go there ask to see a counselor tell them exactly what you told us as to why you need to speak with a counselor. I'm sure once they here why they will set you up with the first available counselor.
If the wait it to long or your school does not have a counseling center call this number 1-800-668-6868 or go to this website https://kidshelpphone.ca/. This Kids helping kids and is for teenagers and young adults. You can chat online or call and talk with a counselor it is all anonymous.
You can also go to any hospital ER for help with this. They have staff psychologist to speak with and they can offer you medication to help you sleep.
Once again I'm very sorry for your loss. Please seek the proper type of help to help you cope with this tragedy.
My grandmother had a stroke back in January 2017. She was in and out of the hospital for bleeding and other problems. Now they're saying that she's bleeding again internally again. THey sent her home and told her to take her medication. Is it because of the stroke she had earlier this year? What do they do to stop internal bleeding?
I'm not a doctor but I am knowledgeable of the treatment of Stokes having been a first responder with a fire Department. The short answer to your question is yes and no.
The stomach bleeding and a stroke are independent of one another so that is the no part. The yes part comes in for the usual medication given for a stroke which are blood thinners which there are many on the market.
Also if your grandmothers stroke was her first and she was taken to a stroke center hospital with in a specific time period their is a medication, called TPA, doctors can give that reverse the stroke by busting the blood clot. This is a very powerful drug and it can cause bleeding in other parts of the body.
The doctors weigh a number of factors before giving TPA such as age, over all health and other factors. Once the drug is administer the patient is monitored closely for signs of bleeding.
Depending on what type of bleeding you grandmother is having, maybe it is an ulcer the doctors might be able to control it with medication. Once a patient is on blood thinners elective surgery requires the patient to be taken off blood thinners so bleeding can be better controlled in the OR.
I haven't had sex since the end of June. Normally my periods are 7 full days. Starts with wiping pink then full force cranps and heavy the first day. The cramps leave but it stays heavy for a couple days then goes lighter then spots the last day. July and August I started my period when it was expected but they were way lighter than usual the whole time and only lasted like 5 days. I didn't even have to wear a tampon. They were just lighter periods. I took a test Aug 26 and it was negative. Now it's the end of September and I haven't had a period. My boobs have been sore and the last few days my nipples were soo sensitive they almost felt like they were burning just from the softest touch of anything. I was having alot of dizziness when I'd stand up or something and was feeling a little nauseous from time to time. My left top eyelid and bottom right eyelid swelled up one day out of no where and I read that could be a sign of pregnancy cause of increase of hormones or something. I took another test yesterday and it was negative. This morning I wokeup and went pee and I wiped a tinge of really light pink like twice ans nothing after that. I have no signs of starting my period and I'm not wiping anypink or anything. I'm really confused on what could be happening right now. Sorry this is so long but if anyone can help with advice or opinions let me know please and thank-you
We are not doctors so we cannot make a diagnoses. The one thing I am fairly certain of is you are not pregnant.
There are many reasons for not getting a period other then pregnancy. At the top of the list is stress. Have you been under a lot of stress lately at work, home or school. Over the counter medication (OTC) and prescription medications as well can cause a missed period. It is Allergy season again have you taken any OTC for Hay fever.
There is one other reason besides pregnancy that could be the cause and this is more biological. By biological I mean something else is going on with your body and needs a doctors attention. It doesn't have to anything very serious either to cause a change in your cycle. You could have became anemic or maybe you have iron deficiency.
I cant say because I am not a doctor and even if a were I would need to examine you.
My Advice make an appointment with you GYN or family doctor and find out just what if anything is the problem. We are not the proper place to seek this type of help.
I have one of the worst cases of chronic generalized anxiety disorder. I am not able to drive or work no matter how desperately I want to. And my family and my psychiatrist has admitted to that as well.
I'm falling more into clinical depression by the day, because I'm stuck at home all day. I feel meaningless and worthless.
I just want to help people somehow. Make them happy. That's all I've ever wanted to do. But I don't know what I can do since I can't concentrate or focus because of how horrid my depression is (which makes me seem "slow in the head" to people).
What can I do, please?
I actually know a bit of how you feel. in Oct. of 2004 I was in an auto accident, 3 cars I was the only innocent and the only one who had to be taken to the hospital. I was standing still at a traffic light when I was hit from the rear. My injuries forced me into early retirement.
My whole world turned upside down. I'm not exactly an invalid but I may as well be. My injuries are skeletal and cannot be repaired. I suffer from chronic pain. I will eventually need to have my knees replaced which were among my injuries. In the blink of an eye I went for having a job I loved and being the primary bread winner and driver of the family car. TO the guy that have his wife drive him every place and sit at home while his wife went to work and I had to deal with a bunch of Lawyers and their doctors plus my own doctors.
Yea I became clinically depressed. I sought treatment for my depression for a psychiatrist and talk therapy with a psychologist. It took time and medication but The cloud of depression has lifted. I stay busy doing things that I like doing such as helping people by answering questions on this website. we can always use another advisor.
Clinical depression is circular in nature. Remove part of the circle and the depression lifts. Your generalized anxiety disorder is part of the circle. Treatment by a psychiatrist is good add getting the help of a psychologist is better. Depression and anxiety have root causes a psychologist will help you find those causes. Once you find them you can find ways to control them.
I thought I new my cause. My therapist saw through me and she kept digging until I gave up what I had locked away years ago from childhood that actually became unlocked due to the accident.
Try talk therapy. IT won't hurt and can help.
I had some unexpected financial fall backs this month. My home was in the direct path of a hurricane and I lost electric for two weeks leaving $200 worth of groceries spoiled. I had to eat out for a while and then replace everything that was refrigerated costing me another $150. My car windshield was smashed by a falling branch from the same hurricane, this cost me $250.
To top it all off a big paycheck I was expecting won't be coming for another week when I was told it was sent last week only to be told today it just got sent out this afternoon.
At this point after paying rent ($900) I have $370 left to my name and $650 worth of bills coming due before the 7th. I don't know what to do. My gas is also running low and I'll be out of groceries again in three to four days.
I could count on the check coming, but what if it doesn't?
I have two things I could possibly sell, a game console worth around $250 and a phone worth around $500 (maybe less). I really don't want to sell either of these because I love my game console and I kind of promised the phone to my dad.
Most of my family is just as strapped as I am, and I can't ask anybody else I know to temporarily borrow money.
Help! What can I do?
DON'T SELL ANYTHING!!! Trying to sell things in a hurry will not get you anywhere near full value and the value you have placed on them is a bit high for resale as it is.
Buy some gas and buy some food. If you have bills coming due before you check arrives call your creditors and explain that you were financially hurt by the hurricane and are just starting to get back to work. You can send them a token payment in a week and the remainder next month along with next months payment. A token payment is usually 25 to 50 percent of what is normally sent. Do this to give yourself some breathing room while you recover fully from the hurricane. Most creditors will understand considering the millions of people affected by the recent hurricanes.
Your car windshield should be covered under you insurance policy if you have a both the required liability and the optional comprehensive coverage. Most comprehensive coverage does not have a deductible. If you have renters insurance your spoiled food should be covered under your renters policy check with your agent on both and file claims.
If you are covered is another reason to make token payments on your bills this month to allow for the insurance claims to be paid to you.
So I have been married for 13 years now and my husband and I separated (still living together) I want to work it out we have kids but he announced he has a girlfriend. Obviously I'm crushed. What do I do? My heart is shattered
Staying together I assume living in separate bedrooms for the sake of the children does nothing to correct the underlying problem. That being why you are not sharing a bed or bedroom. Children are smarter then you think. There are many, many single parent households today. The children would be far better off with only one parent in the house then trying to live with the tension of any forced civility you may be trying to muster.
I would say given recent news that civility is dangerously close to exploding which has put extra tension in the air. Don't fool yourselves the children feel it no matter how hard you try to hide it.
My advice is regardless of whether you wish to try and save your marriage it is better for your children if your husband moves out. Find a lawyer and have a separation agreement drawn up. The agreement protects yours and the children's rights during the separation. Things such as having sufficient funds to pay the mortgage and utilities bills, any car payments. Food and clothing for you and the children. Heath insurance is also a requirement.
The reason for the separation request is simple. He is committing adultery by having a girlfriend. It is assumed he is having sexual relations whether or not he is.
Once you have a separation agreement you serve him with ,make sure to close out the joint checking and savings account first. Leave enough in the checking account to see him till the next pay day and open a checking account in your name at a different bank. Then ask; no tell him to leave then and their. Once he leaves have the locks changed. The separation agreement should have visitation rights with the children spelled out.
With your husband out of the house you can focus on the children and yourself. Do you want to try and save your marriage? If so what has to change? When did the affair start and is this something that you can get over and learn to trust him again? IF you have positive answers to these questions then decide if you want professional help and will your husband go with you. If the answers are no then I would say you should think about a final solution which would be to proceed to divorce.
I'm a virgin, my boyfriend is also a virgin. Since we are in a long distance relationship, we got to meet again last month. We've had series of make out and all, and we were close to having sex. Last Saturday, I was at his place and we tried having sex, when he tried penetrating, twas painful and we stopped. Now, I told him I'm not ready for sex for now and all he said was that we should not think about sex in our relationship again.. It's not like I don't want it, but my mind and body is not ready. I don't wanna loose him I told him to get another girl, but he said he wants to wait for me. I need advice
It would help in answering this question to know your age. For a women When may have the body of a women very early in puberty but to be ready for sex her body may not be which is why penetration was painful and if it had been successful you may have been harmed.
There are muscles in the vagina that are frozen or locked so to speak. Which is why when a young girl is molested it is so brutal. During puberty hormones are released at a certain age, different ages for each girl based on their bodies and other factors, that release these muscles. Once these muscles are released the only pain on first intercourse you should feel is the tearing of you Hyman if it is still intact.
Today many active teenage girls will rupture their Hymans long before they have intercourse which is why todays definition of virgin is; "Someone who has not experienced penis to vagina penetration." since your boyfriend did not penetrate you I would say you can still say your a virgin. If he did get any part of his penis in you then you are no longer a virgin and neither is he. You will have to decide if he did or not.
When it comes to sex in a dating relationship it is the girl not the boy who has the final say as to when she will have sex with him if ever. She is the one that gets pregnant and she is the one that has to make hard choices if she does.
If your not ready for sex then that's the final answer. If he wants to wait until your ready that's his choice. Don't let him pressure you to have sex before your ready. And when you are ready you do not let his penis near you unless it has a condom on it. He says he is a virgin and that's fine. Start your sex life the right way using condoms regardless of the fact when you decide to get birth control medication. Condoms prevent the spread of many of the STDS and the HIV/AIDS virus. Until you are in a permanent monogamous relationship your partner needs to use condoms.
In my day the girls would say, No rubber no lover." It was good then and it is even better today.
So I've been in a relationship with this guy for a little over a year now, and nothing has changed.
I mean, he treats me well and I love being with him. We have fun times every time we're together.
But even after one year of being together, I don't feel welcomed by his family and friends and I don't feel good enough. And I'm miserable and I'm crying my eyes out while writing this.
I love him to death, but I don't know what to do anymore. I'm sweet as hell to everyone in his life and I put infinite effort into our relationship, but I still feel absolutely terrible and not worth his love.
He says he'll "fix everything, I swear" but it's been months and it's still not fixed.
I don't know if I should waste anymore time when I could be perfectly happy with someone else...
What would you do in this situation? HONESTLY.
Assuming you see this guy as husband material then his family is a package deal. Not all of us are fortunate enough to get a great set of in-laws. I was a lucky one and my in-laws accepted me immediately. My father in-law said to me after we announced our engagement, "no returns she is yours now." My wife on the other hand got my parents. Fortunately she is a strong person and stood up to my mother when needed.
I am not in a position where I should tell you yes you should leave or no you should not only you can make that decision.
You say,"he treats me well and I love being with him. We have fun times every time we're together." "I love him to death." You also say,"I don't feel welcomed by his family and friends and I don't feel good enough." You don't say why you feel this way. this lack of information does not allow me or any of us much leeway in answering you question though I can make some suggestions.
You love him to death so I assume you really don't want to leave him. You have asked him to talk to his family and he hasn't. Sit him down and tell him either he talks to his family or that you are going to invite his mother to have lunch and ask her straight out why the family is not accepting of you.
The other choice is to sit him down and tell him straight out that you love him to death but you cannot live this way. You've tried and tried but you do not feel you are acceptable to his family and you could not make a life with him unless his family was accepting of you. You need to know why they do not accept you and why. Do they feel you are good enough for him or what. Is there a chance you can ever have a real relationship with his family? then give him a deadline to meet. IF he fails to straighten things out or give you their reasoning's and its not something you can fix then I think you will know the answer to your question.
I don't think my parents love me rather my mom I'm always getting bashed for doing something "wrong" for example I'm on the computer when she says I cant be playing computer games but what I'm doing is I'm reading an article online I GET BASHED FOR NOTHING!!! and it really gets on my nerves what do I do?
Todays parent many of them still do not understand the computer generation of their children. Even those parent who those parent who themselves are computer literate. "Yes today many of todays school age children spend an inordinate amount of time playing games on the computer. They also spend just as much time on the computer reading and doing homework.
I can't speak to your school district but in mine once you move into the sixth grade you start to really get computer immersed. By high school you don't have any text books, everything is on the computer. Many parents, even young parents are not understanding of this and think anytime there children are on the computer they are is essence goofing off.
If you are doing school work or research for a project when your on the computer you need to let mom know this as it may be foreign to how she went to school.
As to your parents not loving you, I don't think that is the case. Remember children are a product and extension of a parents love. We may not say it but we do love our children. When our children become teenagers it becomes a very trying time for both parent and child. The child wants to spread their wings and fly and the parent wants to keep them in the nest and safe. Arguments ensue and the child feels unloved because he or she is being kept from what friends might be allowed to do. It gets worse when you become of legal age and want to leave the nest entirely and mom doesn't want to cut the apron strings.
What you need to do is talk to mom. Tell her you need a mother/daughter day just the two of you. Go to a mall and go shopping, have lunch together. Over lunch talk to mom and tell her how you feel. IF you feel smothered tell her. If you feel like you can never do anything right in her eyes say so. If you feel un loved say so. I'll make you a bet mom doesn't realize any of this.
I went out on 3 dates with this guy and had a great time. We got really close and I was really liking him and then on the 4th date I took him out on a double date with my best friend and her date.
Well that date didn't go well. My best friend and him argued when he asked me to pay for drinks and I got upset with him after we got into a conversation about singers and he said "If I was famous I would date all the beautiful girls and not settle until I found the perfect one". I just felt like it was a very rude comment considering I was right there and I'm not bragging or anything, but I consider myself a good catch. I have a job, studying for my masters, have a nice big place with a roommate, a new car, and I consider myself fairly attractive. Meanwhile, he lives with his parents, works with his parents, and is going to a community college for an Associate's degree. Like why does he think he deserves the perfect girl? He tried to backtrack later and say he didn't mean it "like that" and that I don't have to worry about it because he's not famous, but I was hurt and told him we should just be friends because I don't want to have to compete with all the "beautiful girls" and then lose him to this imaginary unicorn "perfect girl". He seemed sad, but was okay with being friends (this was a week ago).
Today, three weeks later we went out as FRIENDS. We went to a festival and had a great time and then to a movie together. It was just as much fun as our first three dates and I was really appreciating being just friends. Then at the end of the night we parted ways and everything was good...until he turned around and walked back towards me and suddenly kissed me. I won't lie, I kissed him back , but I think part of me did it just so it didn't make things awkward. After he said something along the lines of how he didn't want me to friendzone him and didn't want to make me wait another "date" for him to kiss me. I just kind of giggled about it and we parted ways again.
Now I don't know what to do. I do have a lot of fun with him and think he's cute and sweet. He's looking to move out of his parents place soonish and I'm looking for somebody who might want to take my roommates room when she moves out in 5 months so it could work. He's willing to do a lot of fun things that a lot of guys aren't. He has a steady job. He doesn't have any pets or kids which I like. He is at least trying to get an education. However, I'm still worried about what he said. I don't want to be anybody's "until the grass is greener girlfriend" and especially not when it seems like I'm the ambitious one.
Help? I'm so confused.
My wife and I are the exception to the rule as we were totally taken with each other on are first date and married six months later. That was 47 years ago.
That being said for most people 4 dates is not enough time to decide if you want a long term relationship with someone. I would put his remarks made on the double date in the category of conversation among others that was just meant as conversation. No harm was intended and I did not read where you told him how hurtful his comment was. I feel based in his friendzoned comment that he knows he said or did something on the last date to upset you but is not exactly sure what it might be.
Then you go on to say you might want him to move into your apartment as a roommate. be careful how you ask him as he may get the idea he is moving into your bedroom.
My advice is that there is some lack of communication between you two. If you see him as a potential life mate or long term relationship with possibilities. Then you two need to have a conversation and you need to tell him how you feel about the remark he made. I am fairly confident that it was not a serious remark. That he is not looking for the playmate of this month or next month.
One of the first things my wife said to me when we married was. "You may look at the menu all you want." "If I attempted to reorder she would cut something off that all men hold dear and stuff it someplace where the sun doesn't shine." So I have the right to look but not sample or reorder and maybe that is the secret to 47 years of marriage.
I recently sent you a question about talking to a guy much older than me online. You advised me to end the relationship, but I really don't want to.
I probably sound stupid and gullible, but I really want to believe that he's not a sexual predator.
What I want to know is, is it possible to continue the relationship without getting myself in trouble?
From the beginning, I set very clear limits for myself (didn't tell him), but he hasn't gone anywhere close to pushing the limits.
I told myself I wouldn't: share any private information (name, location, birthdate, etc), send pictures containing my face, nudity, or any identifying information, or allow our conversations to get too sexual.
To date, he knows my country (Canada), my age, my favourite colour, and what I'm studying in university (though only part of it). I don't intend to share more than that, and everything I have shared has been voluntary.
Our conversations have stayed very safely away from anything explicit, and he has made a point of not sexualizing me or the relationship.
I'm always aware that I can't necessarily believe everything he tells me, but at the same time I want to.
I don't know...I just feel like, if I'm careful, it could be okay?
I know I'm going against your advice, which probably seems rude, but I really want to believe that he's a nice dude.
If I decide to continue the friendship, do you have any particular advice for me? Or am I completely stupid in wanting to keep this going?
I stand by what I said. From everything you have written I believe he is a sexual predator. You are not the only woman he is talking to on-line. He can wait you out. He will get you to be more and more comfortable with him and you will let your guard. It is not really if you will but when you will and he will wait until you do.
Please trust me on this I am much older then you and I have seen more of this then you have. I see many red flags with him that I know you don't see. I'm sure there are many nice guys at school you could be having a good time with if you let yourself do so.
College is a once in a life time opportunity. When its over life takes on a whole new dimension. Get out there and find some guys to have fun with. Enjoy the college experience. Do not stay in chatting with this guy you can only get hurt if you continue.
thank you i needed someone to some that i mean something.i have gotten help im on antidepressants thank you so much i have never heared my mum or dad say i love you
I'm very happy to see that you changed you mind and got help. Please feel free to write to me any time you think I can be of help. Your next step is to get some talk therapy where you can get some of what is bothering you off you chest and with some other the therapists help find away to communicate what is bothering you to your parents.
I'm really shy and awkward. The interviewer makes me nervous. My legs shake and I forget about what I'm going to say. Someone told me I don't seem confident when I answer their questions. I'm not outgoing and I don't know how to fake that.
I have been on both sides of the interview table. It is expected that the person being interviewed will be a bit nervous. We do our best to make them comfortable before we get down to serious questions.
The best thing I have found to off set the nervousness is to have some practice interviews. If you are job hunting through and agency they may do this with you. If not then find a friend or relative who has gone through the interview process, most of us have. Ask them to do practice interviews with you. If you can get 2, 3 or 4 people to do this with you until you are more comfortable talking about yourself to others.
What I was looking for in an interview was; knowledge of the position I was interviewing for. Job skills, past job history and for some positions Education might be a factor.
Early in my career I interviewed for a position in a lighting showroom I was surprised that the owner never once asked me a question about lighting. His questions were all about my military career which was 5 years in my past. I was more surprised that after a twenty minute ride home my wife informed me that he had called to offer me the position. Moral of this story do not be surprised for questions not pertaining to the position.
I have used this trick of his when hireling sales people. If they can make me understand something I'm not familiar with then they probably can sell my product line.
Do practice interviews until you are comfortable with being interviewed, that is the best advise I can offer.
I have a presentation coming up for a class (university). I have always had a decent amount of anxiety surrounding presentation, though not an anxiety disorder or anything. I also have a slight stutter, which gets worse when talking in groups of people. I can deal with it, but it exists.
It's a group presentation, and one of the girls in my group is someone I know, I guess you'd say we're friends. We had the following conversation:
Her: You're not a nervous speaker when you're presenting, are you?
Me: Um, yeah, kinda
Her: *dramatic sigh* You're going to make us all lose marks
I don't really know how to deal with this. She was being completely serious. She doesn't seem to understand that I can't control it (and she has an anxiety disorder, so she knows what anxiety feels like).
First forget about what she said. A good instructor will not mark you down for something you have no control over such as a stutter. It is the content of your presentation that is being judged first and foremost. Next is the manner in which you present your topic; not meaning how you speak.
I was in sales for most of my adult life. Presentations were part of my weekly life and sometimes I did not have the luxury of preparation as a client or customer would catch me in their place of business and ask if I could present something to his buyers or sales department. In these instances a visual aid came in handy as I could use it as a distraction as I formulated my remarks on the fly.
Not knowing what your presentation is if you can use a visual aid it will help you over come the stuttering as you can use it to slow your presentation and give you time to settle down and control your stuttering.
You stutter I believe under stress so staying relaxed is important to you. Another way to do this is to find a friendly face and talk to that person. Another and this is old school, is to picture everyone in the room naked except you. It seems funny but it does work if you can manage not to laugh.
Do whatever it takes to help you stay relaxed. If you use a rostrum take a picture of your pet, if you have one up with you and place it on the rostrum. when you feel your getting stressed look at the picture.
Most importantly for get what your friend said. She was transferring her stress to you or trying to. Don't let her. Relax and enjoy your presentation. Your in a classroom among friends there is nothing to stress about.