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can it be safe?


Question Posted Saturday September 23 2017, 10:25 am

I recently sent you a question about talking to a guy much older than me online. You advised me to end the relationship, but I really don't want to.

I probably sound stupid and gullible, but I really want to believe that he's not a sexual predator.

What I want to know is, is it possible to continue the relationship without getting myself in trouble?

From the beginning, I set very clear limits for myself (didn't tell him), but he hasn't gone anywhere close to pushing the limits.

I told myself I wouldn't: share any private information (name, location, birthdate, etc), send pictures containing my face, nudity, or any identifying information, or allow our conversations to get too sexual.

To date, he knows my country (Canada), my age, my favourite colour, and what I'm studying in university (though only part of it). I don't intend to share more than that, and everything I have shared has been voluntary.

Our conversations have stayed very safely away from anything explicit, and he has made a point of not sexualizing me or the relationship.

I'm always aware that I can't necessarily believe everything he tells me, but at the same time I want to.

I don't know...I just feel like, if I'm careful, it could be okay?

I know I'm going against your advice, which probably seems rude, but I really want to believe that he's a nice dude.

If I decide to continue the friendship, do you have any particular advice for me? Or am I completely stupid in wanting to keep this going?


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adviceman49 answered Saturday September 23 2017, 1:43 pm:
I stand by what I said. From everything you have written I believe he is a sexual predator. You are not the only woman he is talking to on-line. He can wait you out. He will get you to be more and more comfortable with him and you will let your guard. It is not really if you will but when you will and he will wait until you do.

Please trust me on this I am much older then you and I have seen more of this then you have. I see many red flags with him that I know you don't see. I'm sure there are many nice guys at school you could be having a good time with if you let yourself do so.

College is a once in a life time opportunity. When its over life takes on a whole new dimension. Get out there and find some guys to have fun with. Enjoy the college experience. Do not stay in chatting with this guy you can only get hurt if you continue.

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