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ok plz answer this seriously
my friend is only 14, and her boyfriend is 17 , and he asked her to marry him last week , and she said yes. and she still hasnt tld her mom or dad about it.Should i tell her parents that she's getting married? Is it lik wrong to get married at 14 nd 17? What do u think of a 14 year old grl getting married to a 17 year old guy?



She can't legally get married until 16. But...if she does try to get married at 16, there was most likely be questions asked...like, when did they get together? When did they first sleep together? He could be done for rape if this got out and they have/will have slept together before she is 16, even if she does it totally willingly. Make sure you warn her of that!
It's very sweet and it might work out...but it is so easy to believe that you are in love if you want to be, and if this is her first serious boyfriend it's even easier...although things should work out. She has a minimum of two years before she can legally get married, with or without parents permission, and she'd have to go to Scotland for that (Gretna Green is the only place that marries under 18's). If their relationship lasts that long, then everything should be fine!! If they break up, then it's fine too - no-one got hurt, at least not divorce-and-kids hurt!
I'd say leave it a while. She could get really, really mad at you...it might be better to, if you are really concerned, tell her to tell her parents or you will.
Of course it all depends on what her parents are like...some people's parents are really difficult to talk to. If her's are, make sure she's not just doing this to rebel against them. Yes, they should know, but in the end it's her life and they can't really stop her once she's sixteen. Now, however, they could press all sorts of charges against the boyfriend, because he is over 16 and she is under, and as they are engaged, you tend to presume they've had sex. If they know about the boyfriend and know stuff is serious, her parents should be OK with it. It'll take a bit of getting used to but...if they don't know him or know how serious it is, they could be very shocked, especially at the thought of their 'little girl' growing up. They are likely to panic and even ban their daughter from seeing her fiancé...14 seems very young, especially to a parent.
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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I have pursued modeling for over a year now, but lately I don't really know if I want to become a model. I am 5'4" to begin with. My height discourages me a little,but I feel likes it's more than that. Am I just trying to get validation for my looks? I don't know if modeling is even my style. I like to pose and take pictures, but I don't know that I want that instability w/ trying to break into the industry and trying to get discovered. I really need help. I don't know what to do. I don't know what I would do as a career. I am F/21

Hmm...well, if you're doubting it, you're obviously unhappy with it...modelling is very stresfull and if you don't think you need that, then get out of it. However, it doesn't have to be all or nothing - you could be a model on the sideline, just for department stores and the like.
Have you considered being a photographer? That way you're still in the industry but don't get as much stress. Or how about an artist's model?
And finally, congrats on being a model at 5'4"! That's seriously a great achievement! So don't give it up unless you're sure!! Maybe you could go on hiatus and try out a few other jobs for a couple of months?
Try this site for some career ideas as well - http://www.connexions-direct.com/jobs4u/
It might be a little young for you (it's aimed at teens) but it has some great ideas and information on all sorts of jobs!
Only you can really decide what you want to do at the end of the day...sorry this is such a vague answer, but I don't know you any more than what you've said in this question, so I can't say much else!!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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i'm in a band, and i'm not bragging or anything but we are quite good. we've been together for like 2 years and have played loadsa gigs (and won a battle of the bands competition recently :p) we've got a demo cd and evrything so how the hell do we go about "getting signed" because i'm hearing of other local bands that get signed ie to sony for £400,000 to go record an album. so does anybody know how we'd go about doing this? i will rate high if your helpful :p PLEASE help me.

alex x

Hiya,
My friends brother has his own band and they're selling in HMV now. They're not the hugest band but they are selling! I'm not sure how he did it and got there, but I know he's not with Sony. They don't have an official record label. That's harder work because you have to advertise yourself and will most likely not get very big, but some big bands got big by getting an official label to notice them this way! I will ask my friend how her brother got HMV to sell his band's stuff as soon as she comes online and come back and edit my answer for you. Just thought I'd add in that bit about him not having an official record label so that you know there are other options out there if you don't get signed :)
Blessed Be and good luck!!
Rach xxx

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my mom has been really stressed. she was suppoesd to pick me up after school yesterday and she was late. no biggie, right? but later she admitted she's forgotten about me. i'd like to help relieve some of her stress. any ideas?

Aww, you're really sweet! Most people would be fuming that they'd been forgotten!!
You could have one day a week where you do all the house work maybe? And if you live near your school you could walk to school, or walk any brothers and sisters you have to school?
Or you could always arrange it so that she can totally relax when she gets home - you make the tea (or a cup of tea if you can't cook) and let her sit down and watch the TV. If you're really sleepy in the morning, go to bed earlier so it's easier for you to get up so she isn't stressed about you being late for school.
Good luck!!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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My dog is a sweet Fullblooded boxer. The problem is she wont stop bitting my feet and when I walk she pulls on my pants.She is about 7 mounths, WHAT SHOULD I DO

Don't worry about it, my dog did exactly the same thing!! Tell her off every time she does it, and hope she grows out of it. My dog usually does it when she's excited or sleepy and you disturb her.
If it doesn't at least decrease in the next couple of months, then you can try the coke-can trick. Fill a coke can with little stones and sellotape over the hole. Then, every time she goes for your feet, throw the can at her, so that it doesn't hit her but only just misses. It's supposed to scare the dog into stopping doing whatever the bad thing is.
If that doesn't work, try an animal behavourist but they could be kinda expensive.
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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What should I get my friend (13/f) for her b-day?

She likes happy bunny
She likes boyz
She likes fun stuff for her room

Could you get her anything happy bunny that could go in her room, like a photo frame or cushion or whatever? How about a happy bunny cuddly toy (if they make them) she can show off on her bed?
If they don't make happy bunny stuff like that, you can never go wrong with mirror balls, dream catchers, or funky photo frames, candles, ornaments and windchimes for people who like cool stuff in their room :)
And, if her birthday is quite a few weeks away (like at least a month), you could google her favourite celeb and find their website - most have addresses you can write off to to get an autograph!
Or there are always those cool tops with the neat slogans, like 'don't judge a girl by her tshirt' or 'girls rule, boys drool' or whatever.
How about a Galilaeo (sp?) thermometer? If you don't know what it is, google image it and you'll see what I mean. V. cool and if you get a small one they're really cheap too!
Good luck!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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i was wondering if y'all could suggest what you find to be the best face cleaner to get rid of zits. i use oxy but it doesn't work as well as i want it to. thanks so much!!

Hiya,
Clearasil supposedly works really well with most people, try that. Garnier Pure A products are pretty good too.
Whatever fash wash you get, wash your face with water once a day, and moisturise and exfoliate once a week :) You could also put cammomile lotion on any spots to reduce the redness and help them heal quicker.
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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Okay well to start things off, I was dating a boy named Ryan. And I knew this other kid Jake, who liked me and was always trying to get me and Ryan to brake up. I never knew him that well so I never go involved, that is until i broke up with Ryan. Jake treated me like gold. He made me a better person inside and out and I have NEVER been so happy in my life. I would walk into my classes actually crying tears of joy after i had walked with him in the halls just because he made me feel that good. I don't know if it was love, but if it wasn't it was as close as you can get. We broke up 2 months after this. We broke up in November of 2003, and I still can't get this kid out of my head. I've had 2 boyfriends since then but I constantly was comparing them to him and it drives me nuts. I almost felt like i didn't like them just because I don't feel the same way about them as I did about Jake. I know that I do, but I don't feel like i can ever feel the same way about anyone else. He went away to college which makes it easier but whenever he comes home all i do is think about him. I still cry at night sometimes because I can't get over how perfect he was for me. He calls me still every once in a while to check up on me but i try to keep it brief because it hurts too much to talk to him, it brings back too many memories. Is there anyway for me to get over this? It really hurts me like on a day to day basis and i thought i would be over it by now and i'm not. I don't know what to do.

OK...first of all, if he dumped you and didn't give you a reason, no matter how late you think it is, find that reason out. You can't move on until you know what went on!
Second, this guy was too perfect. After while I bet he would have bugged you! :P And, over time, we tend to idolise people - you probably remember him as being much better than he was!! Don't concentrate too much on his faults, 'cause that'll just make you bitter. But everytime you think, 'damn, this new boyfriend doesn't treat me as well as Jake', think, 'yeah, maybe, but I should give this guy a go...plus, Jake was too clingy!' or whatever.
Also, don't talk to him!! If it will help you to get over things, cut him out of your life as much as is physically possible until you have time to 'heal' - it's sweet of him to ring up but he has GOT to understand that, everytime he talks to you, it's like opening up old wounds.
There you go - there's a reason he's not so great - he has no respect for letting you get over things, and he had no respect for your relationship with Ryan!! Just focus on that :P
And lastly...hang on in there. Go out, have fun, get into a couple of relationships, but don't expect too much from them. Have fun - but not too much or you'll start to get a reputation, lol.
Good luck!!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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whats a good name for a female chihuahua? I rate 5s for really cool and creative names :)

I'm not sure if you'll like these for chihuahua names, but here are some cool/unusual girl names -
*Talullah/Tally
*Melody
*Adrianna
*Crystal
*Harmony
*Kaia
*Enya
*Savannah
*Sienna
*Rhianne
*Keira
*Alannah
*Tania
*Tierney
*Shaylee
*Faye
*Arielle
*Aquene
*Alyssa
*India
*Juliette
*Summer
*Aira
- Or you could always take a normal name and spell it differently! (E.G. I had a rabbit called Janie but I spelt it Jaynie and another rabbit called Molly but I spelt it Mollie).
Hope that helped!!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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Some people say that if you put toothpaste on a pimple overnight than it will go away. Does anyone know if this is true? Has anyone tried it?

It works miracles on some people, but I tried it and all the happened was that the spot scarred...if you wanna try it, try it on one that is on a not-so-visible part of your face (e.g. somewhere covered by yoru hairline) just in case!!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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What is 'popularity' but a social disease?

Lol, I'm not exactly sure what you're asking here but...
Being popular is when a lot of people know you. Popular people are 'fashionable' and generally pretty. But...it doesn't necessarily mean you're liked if you're popular. An awful lot of back stabbing goes on within the 'in crowd'.
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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i think i did the wrong category but o well.

it starts like this: i live with my aunt now and its ok but sometimes i wish i was with my mom, but my mom left me when i was 2 and my dad has always been in jail. I dont remember my parents at all. i want to talk to them but i dont know where either of them all, and everytime people mention "mom" or "dad" i get sad and i want to cry. i have no memory of them and i dont know where they are. Any Advice on trying to get over it?

~Empty Space~

i am also a columnist but this time i need help from some1 else.

Heya,
You can't really get over it until you know why. Ask your aunt to tell you WHY your mother left you, if you don't already know...even if it's not the best reason in the world, at least you'll know and can't blame it on yourself.
Also, talk to your aunt about where they are. You don't have to meet them or even get along with them, but it'd be nice for you to know you have that option. Remember that your aunt could be quite upset that you want to know them - she probably loves you a lot and will be upset at the thought that you might totally desert her and go and live with someone else. Reassure her that you're not going anywhere, at least not just yet, and, IF your mother does want you back and you two do get on, you'll still visit your aunty.
Start out by just asking for an address for your mother and maybe you could write to her? If your aunt doesn't know, then there are special detective-type people who trace people in cases like this, or you could just try the phone directory! If your aunt doesn't tell you, warn her that you're just gonna resent her if you do eventually find your mother, because she wouldn't tell you where she was.
I hope that helped!!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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Hello!! I hope ya'll can help me! I'm sorr its so long but its a long story!! Okay here is my scenario. My birthday was at the end of January, and my boyfriend had already been planning our Valentine's date. He asked me if it would be alright if he gave me my birthday gift along with my Valentine's gift because it would make it easier on him, so of course i told him yes. Well, On Saturday (which was our Valentine's day because i had to work Monday) he took me to dinner, then he blindfolded me and took me to... a hotel. BUT before you judge, it was very romantic. He had his friends come and light the candles he had set up EVERYWHERE and rosepedals, the whole deal. And we had planned to have sex for our first time, not necessarily then but we had stopped ourselves a couple of times because we wanted to wiat until it would be special. Which this was. Okay, well moving on, besides all of this, he didn't get me like flowers or a bear or even a card. I spent like $70 on him with gifts and whatnot. But i wasn't too mad because i assumed he had sent me a carnation at school (Our school has sales where you can buy a carnation for someone for V-Day and writea message and then we got them on Monday 9*) Well i of course sent him one, and i waited but he never sent me one. I went to his house after work and i brought over peanut butter heart shaped cookies (His fav!) and still nothing. This made me really mad because he didn't even get me a stinkin carnation!! I got pretty upset and left. Now am i overreacting? I mean he did spend money on me but i'm the type of person who appreciates little things like a flower or a box of choc, he didn't have to go buy a hotel or anything, i just wanted a carnation :( Lol, AND he still hasn't given me anything for my birthday!! Shouldi be mad?

Hiya,
Like everyone said, he probably spent a lot of money on all that. But you're not overreacting - it's who you are to like the little things!! He knows girls like romantic gestures so he made a big one - don't fall out with him over this. Guys are pretty dense and unromantic as it is :P That's such a romantic thing for him to do - tell him so! Just make sure that you tell him you really appreciate the small things - he'll probably be relieved that he doesn't have to buy a hotel suite every year!!!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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Ok everyone, I am a 16/f. I just found out Saturday that a friend of mine that I have known since middle school died. Then Sunday I found out my boyfriend is cheating on me and he is now denying it. Let alone Wednesday being the anniversary of my grampas death.
And I don't know what to do. Its so hard to hold on. I need some advice on what to do.
And on top ok everything my cousin who says shes my bestfriend is trashing my life. What do I do??
Please someone help me!

OK,
You need to talk to some people and get this out of your system - 'a problem shared is a problem halved' and all that. Even if you're only talking to a diary (try www.opendiary.com if you're scared of people in your house finding a paper diary), it's better than nothing. Check out my profile and IM me on any of those addresses if you ever want to talk :)
Going to this friends funeral may help a little, so you can properly say goodbye. About your Grandpa...well, there's nothing you can really do other than talk to your relatives about him and have a good laugh about the good times you shared. You could talk to him in your head about your other problems - I know it's not real but sometimes it helps me :) You could also visit his grave/where his ashes were scattered if it's not too hard for you.
And your cousin...tell her, quite simply, to f**k off. Don't let her make your life any worse!! Tell her how and why she is annoying you, and maybe she'll stop. If not, tell a parent, or cut this cousin out of your life as much as is possible - i.e. be busy when she rings you up, don't reply to her IMs or block her, avoid her as much as you can. You don't need any extra stress from her!
They say bad things come in threes, so hopefully this is the last of your bad luck!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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im 13 and think of sicide a lot i have cut my veins already in dec and dont wanna do it again is their someone i can talk to about it so when i need help they will be their my s c r e e n name is bucsbaby6969 on aol instant messanger

Hiya hun,
You could always talk to someone like Childline (0800 1111) or any kind of helpline - email them if you're scared of your rents catching you on the phone. And talk to me any time!! I'm HippieBanana13 on AIM :) Can't promise I'll be around all that much though, esp. if you're American coz our time zones will be different. But I'm always around in the holidays and after school!! Email me at mitzirox1986@hotmail.com if you want to chat and I'm not online :)
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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both of my ears only have one pericing, and i want to make alot of other peircings myself but im a little scared and i kinda, dont know how to do it. i want to do my cartiladge on the top and another hole by my first hole on the lobe. but i want to get an industrial (its like a bar that stars at your cartilage and ends somewhere on the bottom somewhere, im getting that professionay done if i have the guts) so i dont know if thats going to interfere with my peircings. i wanna do it myself but im not sure what teh steps are. does anyone know how/have experience? or are there any sites with pictures and explanations for me (someone who is realy slow). ive never done anything like this before and any info would be great! thanks!

Oh...eew...don't do it yourself!! I know being talked out of doing this isn't the answer that you wanted, but you HAVE to get it done professionally!! My friend used an ice cube to numb her ear and even sterilised the pin she used but got SUCH a bad infection!! Her ears went all gungy where the whole was, and kept bleeding, and she can never wear earrings again...so, if you wanna get an industrial, get the other piercings done professionally or you'll never be able to wear the industrial!!
And, if your other piercings DO interfere with the industrial, you can always take them out. You don't know until you try :)
But please get your ears done professionally!! If you pierce in JUST the wrong place, you could bleed for AGES! My ear slit and ripped a little, and it bled for so long...you wouldn't think they do, but honestly, they bleed so damn much of you slit/pierce in the wrong place!!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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I didn't know what to put this under but i truley need some advice... i will rate rate you high even if you just try. I'm got in a fight with my teacher today and i got arrested and my mom picked me up at the jail a few hours later. I have court and that was my last strike so i am gettin sent away. this has been streesing me out all day , and i can't stop crying. The hardest part was seeing my best friend crying in my arms and telling my boyfriend.. ne ways what I'm asking is what should i do or say that will make everyone feel better including me.

Maybe apologise to the teacher? However hard it is, it will make you the bigger and better person. Tell your family and friends you will never do it again - and apologising to the teacher should help them believe that. Even though you're being sent away, you can still change and turn over a new leaf and make everything OK - maybe, if you are really great and help everyone and are really kind wherever you go, you can get sent back home?
Make a mini video of all of you having fun and you saying to everyone that you will see them loads and write and stuff, even though you're not gonna be around much. Make copies of it and give one to your family, one to your friends and keep one yourself so you can all always remember the good stuff. And it might help to remind you what you're missing and why you have to be 'good' from now on so you can maybe go back! Write a goodbye letter to all of them and apologise to everyone who you have really offended - it'll make you feel much better!! Maybe even talk to a doctor or GP about anger medication? I have a friend with a really bad temper who's always getting into trouble because of it...they can give you medication to help you calm down, or counselling and stuff to figure out why you're like that. :)
Good luck and I hope everything turns out OK for you!!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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Everyday when I get home I am like sooo totally bored and I hate it!Anyone who gives me atles=ast two ideas of what I can do when I get home will get rated a five!!!

Hmm...if you're a girl and have a lot of clothes you don't wear so much any more but still fit you, you could customize them (add glitter or new buttons or chains or whatever!) - and it doesn't matter if it goes wrong because you don't wear that item of clothing much anyway!
You could also write your favourite slogans or saying on tshirts (I made one that says 'don't judge a girl by her t-shirt' :P) in glitter paint, or ordinary fabric paint - it really isn't that expensive :)
You could rearrange stuff in your room too, or even redecorate it - it'll take you a few days to plan what you're gonna do with it too so that'd take up a lot of days!
You could take your/a neighbours dog for a walk - it's excersize and you might even get paid for it! You could find out loads of cool photos of you and your friends and make one big collage or photo album of them.
You could start a new excersize? Yoga or pilates are pretty good because they're calming, but martial arts like karate or judo are really fun, especially if you're angry, 'cause you get to take your anger out on a punch bag! You could get a book or video, or even start classes and practise at home. You could have three-way calls with your friends too, or a huge IM conversation with everyone in your class.
Play an instrument? Draw? Write? Find your 'thing' or talent and stick at it!
Hope that helped :)
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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[from the point of view of an atheist]
Atheism makes more sense than any religion. There are thousands of creation myths out there, and practically none of them agree with any of the others... which presents one with a real dilemma when it comes to which religion to believe in. Then, science can explain how nearly everything works and has worked since about the first billionth of a second of the universe's existance (as well as giving near-irrefutable efidence that creationism as presented by christianity is bunk). It's not hard to decide that there is no god and that things which we don't know, like "What happened before?" and "What is magnetism?" will be explained eventually.


I'm personally not an atheist and never have been, but my world view hasn't always included a god... I was raised Christian, but was agnostic for most of my life. I now believe in some sort of spirit/soul and a deity or some variation thereof, and I haven't read the bible but I think that it has some serious inconsistencies. How do you rectify "God loves everyone" with the ten plagues and with people being sent to hell? And why did Jesus need to die for us to be forgiven? God is supposed to be omnipotent; he should be able to forgive us all by himself.

...not that I'm trying to disprove Christianity or anything. It's just as good as any other religion, as far as I'm concerned.

_______________
OMG!!!...I am so sorry if I offend you but, Why are you an athiest!?...There is totally a God!...I'm sooooo sorry....here's what you do think about it real hard and just start askin yourself questions like...how is there a world and stuff like that...then go read parts The Bible and it will make you realize that there IS a God!...BUT do what you think is right...I'm not trying to make you do something you don't want to do =]

I'm personally a Wiccan and DON'T believe in God - but I do believe there is something up there. You're right, how else would we have got here? My point of view is that the Bible is just ONE side of the story - there are many others and we're free to believe which one we want :)
However, I do believe that Jesus was a real person, because it's not only Christian's who acknowledge he existed, but Jews do to, although they say he isn't the messiah the Bible says he was. I think maybe he was an amazing doctor or something and helped a lot of people - kinda like an ancient Mother Theresa.
However...all of the religions had to have had proof somewhere along the line, because otherwise, why would so many people believe in them in the first place?
Faith is a wonderful thing. Although I don't agree with your views (or the athiest's), it's pretty cool to see someone so devoted to their religion :)
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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Okay, I just want to know why so many people consider suicide. What do they think it will achieve? Do they really think everyone will be better off if they are dead? Everyone would just be upset! So please, someone enlighten me.

Thanks!
Signed,
Seeking enlightenment.

and please dont delete this question again. i really do want to know!

There are loads of different reasons, and most people who do commit suicide are psychologically messed up and way past the point where they could think about other people's feelings. For most people, life is so bad and there is no other way out that suicide is the only option. They could sit pretty and hope things get better, but by the time that has happened, most people will be seriously depressed and not be able to see how things are better, or how they can help themselves in other ways. Depression is kind of blinding - it's a very hard thing to get out of and you simply can't see how things could be better when you suffer from it.
A shockingly high number of women who have had abortions kill themselves because they feel so guilty but refuse the counselling offered to them/are not offered counselling. Many rape victims also commit suicide, as do a lot of prisoners, or people who wish to be euthanised because they are so ill, but the law doesn't allow it.
Some people really are just incredibly unlucky as well and have a lot of bad things happening to the people around them. Sometimes it really does make them think they are responsible.
All I can say is, be glad that you don't know or understand the reasons - it shows how happy you are!!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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