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Overreacting?
Hello!! I hope ya'll can help me! I'm sorr its so long but its a long story!! Okay here is my scenario. My birthday was at the end of January, and my boyfriend had already been planning our Valentine's date. He asked me if it would be alright if he gave me my birthday gift along with my Valentine's gift because it would make it easier on him, so of course i told him yes. Well, On Saturday (which was our Valentine's day because i had to work Monday) he took me to dinner, then he blindfolded me and took me to... a hotel. BUT before you judge, it was very romantic. He had his friends come and light the candles he had set up EVERYWHERE and rosepedals, the whole deal. And we had planned to have sex for our first time, not necessarily then but we had stopped ourselves a couple of times because we wanted to wiat until it would be special. Which this was. Okay, well moving on, besides all of this, he didn't get me like flowers or a bear or even a card. I spent like $70 on him with gifts and whatnot. But i wasn't too mad because i assumed he had sent me a carnation at school (Our school has sales where you can buy a carnation for someone for V-Day and writea message and then we got them on Monday 9*) Well i of course sent him one, and i waited but he never sent me one. I went to his house after work and i brought over peanut butter heart shaped cookies (His fav!) and still nothing. This made me really mad because he didn't even get me a stinkin carnation!! I got pretty upset and left. Now am i overreacting? I mean he did spend money on me but i'm the type of person who appreciates little things like a flower or a box of choc, he didn't have to go buy a hotel or anything, i just wanted a carnation :( Lol, AND he still hasn't given me anything for my birthday!! Shouldi be mad?
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alrighty, well i can see why you would be upset, but i can see his point of view also...Your a simple girl. You like simple things like carnations, and if you had gotten one, you would be extremley happy because you know he thought of you :). Well his point of view , is he bought a hotel room for a night, which is a good $200 probably. Along with the Rose pedals...and roses are expensive so im guessing it was about $100 for the rose pedals, and then the candles...well you can only imagin being that candles are expensive, so he spent about$300 dollars on you or more, plus dinner. So I can see where he thought that it was enough. A lot of guys wouldnt even THINK of doing something like that. I can TOTALLY see how you just wanted a carnation. So I mean I dont think you should get mad at him or anything , but you are allowed to feel personally dissapointed, nothing that would make you 2 fight or make him feel guilty or bad...just be thankful :) Hope I helped hun!!!!
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I think you really need to calm down. Be happy that he actually tryed. Most guys would NEVER think of that. Did you ever think that maybe the hotel room cost money too? You shouldn't be mad at him for not getting you anything, you should be mad at yourself for being so materialistic.
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There is a little miscommunication going on here. He must have spent a good bit of money ($200 probably) setting up the candles, roses, and room. Apparently you weren't mature enough for that kind of gift. I am not trying to make you feel bad. I am saying that you need to tell him that you appreciate all the extra effort he put into your Valentine's Day, but the next time he spends that kind of money, you would want it to be for a ring or a wedding night which you aren't ready for. Tell him how much you really had hoped you would get a carnation ro something smaller. Guys do not take hints; you have to ask for what you want.
And I wouldn't expect anything more than maye a card from him on your birthday since he spent so much money and told you up front that he wouldn't be buying you a present.
If you are lucky enough to still be together next Valentine's Day, tell him that all you want is a flower, a box of candy, and dinner with him. It's not begging; you will actually be doing him a favor.
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Hiya,
Like everyone said, he probably spent a lot of money on all that. But you're not overreacting - it's who you are to like the little things!! He knows girls like romantic gestures so he made a big one - don't fall out with him over this. Guys are pretty dense and unromantic as it is :P That's such a romantic thing for him to do - tell him so! Just make sure that you tell him you really appreciate the small things - he'll probably be relieved that he doesn't have to buy a hotel suite every year!!!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx
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The Saturday night date was probably really expensive for him. In his mind, spending that much money on the hotel WAS the valentine/birthday gift. Guys don't always get that us girls like the traditional sappy gifts.
My advice? Talk to him about it. If your relationship is serious enough for you to be having sex, you should be able to bring up something like this. Tell him how much you liked Saturday, how special it was, but that you'd have liked a little something special for Valentine's day besides. Make it clear that you DO appreciate all the money he'd spent, and that not every gift he gives you has to be expensive. Besides, the hotel wasn't just for you- he got something out of that one, too ;-)
One caution- this probably isn't the case, but look for signs that he's just using you for sex. There are guys out there like that. Hopefully him not giving you a tangible valentine was just an oversight, but you never know.
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i dont think you should be that mad. he rented a hotel room, bought rose pedals and candles, and that stuff aint cheap. maybe he didnt have money left over after it. im not tryin to say he is poor. so dont get me wrong. i no i wasnt of that much help.
~*Sarah*~
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he prolly spent heaps of money on the sat night thing. and hey, he prolly thought it'd be cool just doin that. think about it... dinner, hotel room, candles, rose petals... what more do you want? he prolly has no money!!! lol
~ANGE
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In my eyes you have every right to be mad but then again maybe you don't I mean I don't know you or your boyfriend but maybe you should talk to him about it you know? tell him how you feel before you get really mad and when you are in a fight or w/e something you dont mean and ruin everything you know? hope i helped
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i get exactly where your coming from though i say you did a bit over react i woul dtalk to him may b apoligize say u didnt really mean it though express your opinion of why u did, communicate be open and honest..cummunication is the key to a relationship...i hope this helped..biey
~addy~
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roses are expensive. the rose petals alone probably cost close to a hundred dollars. I'm guessing that was most of a paycheck, you ungrateful wench. men don't remember birthdays very well, so write that one off right now.
-hitler
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you are not overreacting!!! i would be mad too... but him being with you should have been the best gift... money and presents arent everything.... having him should be the best gift of all... and it was really sweet and romantic what he diod for you with the hotel... and this could help you leard to respect the little things! talk to him about it if it keeps bothering you! hope i helped.
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Aww, your boyfriend should definitely have gotten you something like a carnation or even a box of chocolate. You really do have right to be mad about this. If he promised you that he would give you your birthday present on your Valentine's Day, he should have at least give it to you. I think the reason why he didn't give you anything because since he rented a hotel room and made it romantic, he probably thought that was your birthday present from him. Getting a room does cost quite some money. You really do need to talk to him and bring up the sunject of your birthday present. If I was you, try to not to make it seem like you are rude and greedy for, even though you aren't, but the way you tell him, could make him mad or pissed off at you. Just be like "I didn't notice my birthday present that you gave me on our Valentine's Day. What was it?" Just say something like that to start the conversation up and you'll find out. Hope I helped :)
-Karen
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I agree that yo have everyright to be mad!! Hey we are the chicks we desrve to be showered with gifts and treated like princesses right?! He definitly should have gotten you something for your birthday. If i were you i would definitly talk to him about this, let him know how you are feeling and tell him that you don't need all of the big things, all the matter are the little things that are thoughtful reminders that he is thinking of you... if he is understanding then he will make it up to you, and if not then get rid of the asshole!! Lol
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He probably just thought the hotel thing would cinch it. Maybe he thought that you were perfectly satisfied with the hotel thing and he didn't need to do anymore. Besides, I'm sure there will be other times that he'll do little things for you.
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i know that he probably spent some money on the satuday night thing, but dont be too mad about him not getting you anything, just bring up the subject of birthday presents one night and see what he says, if he doesnt say anything, then maybe you should ask him what youre birthday present was other than what you did on saturday...sorry if that doesnt work..
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