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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!
advice
i want my tongue pierced for my 18th birthday. do it honestly hurt?
If you've ever accidently bitten your tongue, you know that hurts, a piercing will be worse. I suppose it depends on how badly you want it cus many others have done the same thing and lived with the pain. The reason people feel pain anywhere on the body a piercing is done is because the body has millions of nerves that register when something has happened to the body, a cut, a scrape, a hard brusing bump or piercing, etc...
I am wondering if it would be sinful to get one just for fun. It s cheap. Would something bad happen if I got a reading? Would it open the doors to evil?
And here you get a totally different perspective as each of us answers from our own life experiences.
I grew up in church and 30 yrs of my life chose to blindly believe everything I was told. In essence, I was not truly making decisions for myself out of having checked anything out fully but allowing the decisions to be made for me...until the day I sought relief from an acupuncturist and my church leaders told me to avoid going there because they were evil and opened the doors to evil. It was then my eyes were opened to see how silly some of the churches beliefs were and how misguided. I learned to think and investigate for myself after that.
I will tell you that in the psychic trades including palm reading or tarot card reading, that there are many charletans, meaning those who pretend to have a true message for you but are nothing more than a magician's act and very good at extracting helping info from you unknowingly or giving vague info that could pertain to anyone. Then on the other hand, I have come to know that there are truly people out there who have what we call psychic skills, the real thing.
I do not believe that it is sinful to have fun, and I do not believe that palm reading or tarot cards are in themselves evil but a tool for personal use, but in addition to being able to hear from God personally. There are few you'll ever come across in life who would seem to support trusting God and use of psychic ways at the same time. I will explain.
If you really want to know what is the best next immediate step in life, best to ask God. God himself has never given me details of my far future as far as my life and spiritual growth and now looking back, I can see why...It would have overwhelmed me, scared me maybe or I may not have trusted what I heard or worried about things I didn't understand and wasnt ready for back then but am now. For example, I used to believe the message from church doctrine to trust God to heal my marriage and for that reason stayed with a verbally abusive man for nearly 30 yrs. God was patient to not tell me to leave him yet anytime earlier because I hadn't built enough personal trust in God yet to believe. Once I had, God gave me the missing or misinterpreted parts that allowed me to decide to leave.
I'm a very spiritual person who can hear from GOd so well that I do not doubt what I hear as my own thoughts, I have learned the difference of knowing when it is Gods message planted in my mind or my own thought which is hard at first as both sound like your own internal voice but it is your sensing ability that tells you which is which and that takes time dear, so be patient there and keep talking to God.
Now I will explain why I do not consider some things labeled "evil or of the devil" by the church to actually be so. One thing many Christians believe is that anyone who calls themselves a pagan or a witch is a Satanist. God led me to get to know some of these people, a good size group. As always, I not only question God once...to make sure I am on the right track but ask for confirmations of many sorts over
and over. That is a good thing to do and God wont fault you and label you a disbelieving, untrusty person...you are simply being very diligent and thorough which is good as truly there can be things meant to take you off course onto a path you are not meant to be on.
What I discovered from talking to these witches and pagans among which I found those with psychic skills is that most of them believe in God, Goddess or a combo, as in Lord and Lady, being Jesus and the Holy Spirit as the Lady. The Holy Spirit used to be called a She rather than a He for the feminine qualities that female humans have. So I see that as reasonable. I also discovered that they don't believe in the same devil and hell that Christians do. That they are not Satanists and can't be if they don't believe in him. They do acknowledge dark negative energies and protecting oneself against them. I have also found pagans to be ones to believe in the laying on of hands and healing people and belief in prayers. I have seen more healing and done more real healing than ever before in Church because my mindset is to know that if God has given me the go ahead to pray for recovery, then there will be healing, no question as to whether its Gods will or not. Its kind of dumb to pray first and ask God Later. I have rarely heard God say, no...that baby isn't meant to live, the parents need the experience of the loss to grow spiritually and that opportunity is taken away if the baby is healed and live. 9 out of 10 cases, healing is meant to happen and does because I know it is meant to happen and so my belief is part of what makes it happen.
In doing energy healing, I have trained with Reiki healing but have gone on to do more beyond that, I have been in constant contact with God asking if any special Healing Angels are needed in some cases and I call upon them to come work with me, or if I get a mental hint as to what the real issue is with a person, not just the symptom, i go for confirmation sometimes, being using pendulums. If a believer in Christ is using this as a confirmation tool, not their only source, there is nothing wrong with it. After all we are human and can have moments we are tired, have a headache, and want to help but have issues of our own weighing on our minds to distract so at times, I have used a pendulum, knowing that as I hold it, it is actually my own energy moving it.
The thing about this is, my energy is being guided by my subconscious mind which has been proven in many books I've read to be more open at times to receiving messages from God than our conscious/awake mind, its just wired that way. Again, I do not rely only on this. But I believe as many do, that GOd himself speaks to us sometimes, using our subconscious as a way to send us confirmation on something we are doing. The same can be said for tarot cards. Palm reading in itself is more of an art, studying the lines in a persons hands to mean something. I have looked at the book and gone over the lines in diagrams to match up with what is in my hands and found that it is pretty right on for what has already occured in my life or is shortly about to...decisions and directions I have not yet taken but am unswayingly already dedicated to take. It is too much a study to learn it all to do for someone else. I feel though that if anyone is looking for confirmation from God, wanting to use a source other than hearing the voice in your head, then if you are the one holding a pendulum or using tarot cards, you can indeed get accurate results everytime. I do not trust someone else to do it for me, you then leave it open for misdirection from whomever is doing it, maybe not intentionally on their part but as far as God is part of all this, it's supposed to be Gods message to you , not thru someone else unless a person is simply confirming something GOd already told you. Example: One day I prayed asked God if He was pleased with me (thinking of King David and how God was pleased with him. God said Yes to me. Then he confirmed it for me. Pastor had a workshop run by a woman who gave us exercises to do, sitting one on one with a person and asking GOd to give us a message for them. The lady looked at me and said, I got something but It doesnt make any sense to me. All I heard is Yes, I am Pleased with you. My face lit up and I was so excited and relayed the story to her so she could see that not only had she heard correctly but God at same time confirmed something for me I hadn't even asked for confirmation on.
Trust God to lead you dear, and you can't go wrong, even if you had Palm reading done.
Oh Gosh... I'm so confused...
I was in a relationship... And my guy ended it... I miss him... So I made my Snapchat private and post different things and he is the only who sees them... He has never missed seeing a single one of my postings.... Also he's been screenshoting my photos that I post there... I also got a few emoticons like these from him 💏 and ❤ and I am so confused... Why is he screenshoting my photos?? And all that? Look... He's the one who broke up with me... And I am just not sure what is going on in his mind. I made my Snapchat private so I could tell him how I feel without contacting him directly because I still love and care about him... He won't speak to me at all... Is he afraid to talk to me? Is he just not ready?? Please help!!!
First. I dont know your age, nor what kind of relationship you had. I am going to assume that you are school age, anywhere from middle school thru college age. I find that this wide ranged age group has the most problems with confusion regarding communication in on going relationships or break ups. I have my theories which I will explain as I believe they may strong affect what is going on.
1. When we are still fairly new to being in relationships, 10 years and under, we do not have the experience of time, of the school of hard knocks to have learned what works and doesn't work. So often, this is plain and simply the problem and something people of this age group just need to learn about on their own with the help of books, you-tube videos and such on dating and good communication and understanding the opposite sex, or if same sex, just understanding the other person.
2. Texting is what I consider the biggest culprit here. Texting creates people who are conversationally challenged and handicapped. In short, you miss out on the scientifically proven larger part of communication which isn't verbally or printed/texted words, but a combo of 3d things: facial expressions, tone of voice and body language. I know you may not believe it but lack of these and not being willing to ask questions or ask a person to rephrase what they just said to make sure you understood them correctly, is what is responsible for most confusion and miscommunication.
So with what I just explained, my guess is that when he said he was breaking up with you, that either you did not ask him why, or if you did, that he did not give an answer. Perhaps he gave an answer that didn't make sense but you failed to then ask him to put it into other words to explain what he meant. These are all skills that get lost somehow, especially when we rely too much on social media and texting.
I can not tell you what it means if he saves your screen shots and checks for everything you post. If I was the one doing this, I could explain to you, because I was the one doing it. You are asking the wrong person dear. You did say: I made my Snapchat private so I could tell him how I feel. However you do not want to do so directly which I assume means in person. And that is one of the problems. Your relationship if based mostly on social media and texting is not much of a relationship, the type so many young people have these days, and the type of relationship with more problems than should be.
You need to have a talk with him in person so he can see your face, hear your tone of voice, as you ask why if you aren't good enough to remain his girlfriend, that he seems to hang on everything you say and post in social media.
Perhaps he feels more like a brother or friend than a romantic boyfriend and that IS a valid reason to not remain bf/gf. He may have another so called reason which may make sense to him and not to you, but its better to get all the facts so you dont go on your entire life wondering why and wondering if this was never meant to work or if there was a change that something simple between you could be worked on by both of you so the relationship could continue and blossom. If you dont investigate, you'll never know and just might miss out on something that could have been good.
Hai. So I'm Leah and I'm a 13 year old. I'm female by birth but am genderfluid. So I recently became friends with a girl who I sit next to in maths, she's really nice and funny and very pretty, and we have almost exactly the same interests. We've been friends for a few weeks and have gotten on really well. A couple of days ago I came out as bisexual and genderfluid, and it turns out that she is also bisexual and gender-questioning. She hasn't been in a relationship before, but I would out that she has a crush on/ is in love with her best friend. She has already told her best friend and her best friend was kind about it but didn't return her feelings, and she had accepted this. I really like this girl, and I want nothing more than to be in a relationship with her. I know it'll be best to wait a bit, and get to know her better and all that- but is there any possibility we could ever be together? And if so, any advice on how to make her like me more or drop hints about my feelings?
Thanks for answering, Leah. xxx
I would think that the rules of flirting and body language apply no matter what the sexual or gender at any given point in time. So really, all it takes is doing flirting and looking for her body language to see if she is interested in you. Most likely if she isn't fluid gender, any body language she gives off will be specifically female body language, not male or the types of main line responses that both male and females give off.
I will post a few links for teens on flirting.
http://teens.lovetoknow.com/Flirting_Tips_for_Teenagers
http://teenadvice.about.com/od/datinglove/tp/how_to_flirt.htm
And now some flirting by touch examples and hints.
I can tell you that back in school I remember a few girls flirt by touch with me and it felt ooky to me as I am not bi or gay and I naturally did not respond back. So if you try the flirt by touch and a girl pulls away, its a hint she may be confused, not ready yet to explore, or plain old not be open to sexual advances with another female or a particular female. So look for her being comfortable to your approach.
http://www.lovepanky.com/flirting-flings/get-flirty/flirting-touch-flirt-by-touch
And I saved the best for last. Nick Notas is very good at giving info on how to flirt with girls. While he's giving the advice to men going after females, it should work the same coming from you. This is an article on his blog.
http://www.nicknotas.com/blog/why-youre-not-actually-flirting-when-you-think-you-are/
Good luck dear.
when i posted the first question to you it should have been on where to find an autistic girlfriend that way i can date and still be my autistic self becuase normal is just not really real and i know that there are severel around my age who are autistic and my age is 26 and if i do meet one i will go on a date with her and see how things go again i hope it happens this month thank you .
Is you had supplied that piece of information (being autistic) at the start, we could have avoided a lot of waste of time.
I have nothing against Austistic people. My 2nd husband is a highly functioning autistic, meaning it doesnt always affect him but when it does, he's found ways to work around it and still function well in society and no one except people real close like his parents or me his wife can see it. He has the high level of intelligence that is characteristic of autistics.
Now that I know what you are looking for, heres a site that may help you. Don't discount on line dating. Thats how I found my 2nd husband.
http://www.autismdatingservice.com/
I'm an 18 year old female and I recently started college. I have found someone that I'm strongly attracted to, but I just want to sleep with him. How do I get him into bed without sounding too forward and without encouraging a relationship?
I've never done this kind of thing before, and I'm really bad at seduction, any advice would be appreciated!
Unless he is already seeing someone, that should be way easier than finding a guy for a relationship. Most males are hardwired to think of sex long before a relationship. It is also one of the main requirements in starting a relationship for those looking.
You need to have a conversation with him, not point blank walking up to him and blurting it out but find a way to have a chat, over coffee, or even invite him to go on a walk with you.
If you already on a friend basis with him, then its so easy, ask him to come to your place if theres no roommate, to hang out and talk. He will see it as a possibility for sex because thats foremost on a guys mind. A gentleman will wait for the female to make the first move, even the first kiss as I had to do with my husband on both accounts but by the words he'd shared with me, I knew he was very sexually attracted to me so I did make my move. Once alone...let him know you find yourself very attracted to him and want to see if its possible to explore that attraction further. Is he at all attracted to you that way? Thats about all you need if both of you feel something. If he's attracted, he'll go for kissing you. If he's waiting for you to go first, he'll at least have said some things about how attractive, hot or sexy you are.
Please be prepared and have condoms on you to provide for him. If you find its going to become a regular thing with him, then go see family planning clinic in your area or Planned Parenthood for birth control. Or even since your goal is to become sexual, the best thing would be to get prepared ahead of time since even from the first day taking the pill, you have to wait a week before its built up in your system enough to protect against pregnancy.
Don't think you are bad at seduction. All women have their own ways about them that certain guys find attractive and seductive and it can be the simplest of things. I will use a few examples according to my husbands tastes, wearing my hair long and hanging down is sexy to him, just the sound of my voice, my smile, wearing tops without a bra, he finds himself during the day aroused by all sorts of normal common things as I go a bout my day and anticipates when we go to bed at night. Once you get to know a guy, you'll see that there are certain things in particular he likes about you. So whether you wear a slinky dress that shows off your curves, a knit pullover with out a bra, or a deep scoop neck top where he can try to catch a glimpse down your shirt, all of the above are seductive to a man. What is needed more is a self confidence in yourself, that you are a sexy alluring female just as your as without having to change anything. If you dont feel so self confident, think of a famous actress you admire, someone hot and gorgous, and pick one where you may have somethng a little in common with, same bone structure, same body size, same shape of eyes, same hair cut, same nose or mouth. Just one thing will do the trick for this mind exercise. I did this with my eyes and Sophia Loren, an actress you probably wouldn;t know of from the past. Because of the eyes, I thought of them as my best feature and imagined myself as looking like Sophia and getting the same attention and reaction everywhere i went once I stepped out of the house. Before entering the grocery, the bar, the store, going to the park, I would close my eyes and visualize myself entering a room looking like her. THe results were tremendous!!! I am not kidding you dear and I was in my 40s when I tried this. People would stop me and mention that I had the most beautiful eyes they'd ever seen, both men and women! I got compliments even if my ex husband was with me. It felt so surreal like I was someone being pranked on a TV show with a hidden camera. Did my eyes change from before my little test. No, they looked the same. So why did people notice me now? Simply one thing, self confidence. I borrowed self confidence from an actress to start out, but once you've received enough compliments and choose to believe them because in truth, people are only seeing you, not the actress, then you can continue on with your own self confidence in being an attractive women that turns the head of men who are not available, and spurs others to approach you, and fills the dreams of all.
A self confidence according to tests done with men and different females, is the most sexy attractive thing there is about a women. Some may still have a preference for blondes over brunettes or redheads, but many have no special preference and all women are an option. Confidence puts you higher on the list than the prettier girl with none as she won't be able to hold onto guys for long, at least not the guys worth having.
Our 5 year old teacup Chihuhua is in the 3rd week of her heat cycle, and she has withdrawn into herself and looks depressed.
Her vulva is swollen but does not look inflamed, although she is having difficulty in walking.
She has been this way for the past 3 days but perks up in the evening when she will eat a little.
Please advise
Obviously she is not feeling well. If not drinking and only eating a little and having difficulty walking, she may have a bladder infection or some blockage. You need to take her to a doctor as soon as possible. Sometimes walking problems could have something to do with the hips having issues which some dogs are prone to having issues with but I haven't heard of Chihuahua's having those issues, so maybe she fell or somehow knocked some bones out of alignment and need being put back where they go. That would cause pain too. Either way, this isnt something to mess with and not respond to. She needs a vet to determine what is really wrong and help her. If money is an issue right now, call some vets and ask them if they know of a vet that offers services on a sliding scale comparable to your income, a low cost vet. After calling a few, you'll likely get a referal or you can look on line for a low cost vet in your area.
Thank you very much for your advice with the whole "Derek" situation! So I've been thinking a lot about it...its been bugging me for a long time. Like I feel like I should text him and talk to him but all my friends are saying that I need to wait for him to initiate the conversation before I try and resolve anything. So is that my best option? Like I don't want to text him and then him screenshot everything I say to our other friends because what I want to say to him I only want to say to him. But like he won't talk to me in person so I don't really have an option of talking to him in person other than calling him but he probably wouldn't answer me. So should I wait for him to text me before I try and talk to him about what's going on?
Thanks again!!
If Derek is unwilling, it doesnt matter if you contact him now or later, you are not going to get any satisfactory response from him. So do whatever you wish. I really wish kids these days would stop texting as a way to communicate because it truly is the worst possible way on earth to communicate. If you wonder why I can say that, read on.
I feel bad for your generation. Not only do you have the normal male female differences in understanding in conversation (which is very true for teens)but you also have a people who no longer prefer to or know how to talk in person or read body language. Add to that the immaturity of young people in not knowing any better to keep a private conversation in oral or written form private and its a big mess that no person on earth can fix, not even you unless both of you are willing and open to keeping your conversations to yourself and using phones calls and face to face for communication. I have texted seldom usually if a daugther texts me. I am slow at it so they have sent 3 more texts while I am still trying to answer the first. I know you may be faster, but I know that a person can easily get distracted by life, by what is happening in real life, unfolding in front of them so often people complain that someone is not answering in a timely manner. Ask a question and no answer, not for days....thats the downside of texting. Also you dont get to see facial expressions or read body language to get a clue if a person was serious or teasing. Teasing can't be done well on text as it needs the other things.
Here's a Big Surprise for you: Texting was really meant to be a "Tool" by their creators, maybe for short convos at the very least but not to be the main way to communicate. I used to be a route manager for a carpet cleaning company. We needed to contact some of our cleaners while they were out doing their scheduled jobs for the day...before texting was invented. All they had was pagers, a device that sounds an alarm, much like a beeping or other noise on your cell to alert you have a text. This meant he had to call to office to find out what we needed to tell him...important stuff like an accident happened on a bridge that we needed to alert him to as it was the way he would take to his next appt. or that his next appt canceled but someone called in and we have a totally different to send him out to. There were all sorts of problems if they didnt hear their pager go off. Sometimes it is important to send an alert or short message of some sort where you dont need to hear back. Like a parent out shopping and you forgot to tell them to pick up tampons for you. So you text Mom and ask her to pick up some. She doesnt need a call for that, just the info. I hope you see what the purpose of texting was really meant to be for. Unfortunately, young people have resorted to using it for full blown conversation and of course that comes with tons of problems and that is one of the biggest issues teens write about, texting misunderstandings or no timely response or response at all.
All I can suggest is to learn how to talk face to face and read body language before no one knows how to do that anymore. Thankfully there are older people writting books, doing videos or teaching classes now on how to communicate face to face. It is crucial to prepare college students for jobs. They can't pick up a cell and text a coworker or the customer standing in front of them to communicate. I know that sounds silly and of course you wouldn't do it but the fact is college aged people are freezing up in fear of not knowing how to converse with a person right in front of them. No its not simple...there is an art to truly good communication and now some colleges offer a course to teach young people how to talk and communicate in person. If I were you, I'd focus more on phone calls and in person and try to get my friends interested instead of using a poor communication technique such as texting.
i read the answer to the question i sent you yesterday called how can i get a girlfriend who will like and accept me for who i am and i did not quite get what you wrote but anyhow im just telling you that i do not need to pass for being neurotypical to get a date thats what im trying to prove to the world also this is not an attack question im just responding to let you know what i was trying to do and i hope i accomplish that this year and anyway i hope you receive this in your advice column thank you .
In very simple terms, the way to get a girlfriend is to be friendly, confident, not come across as desperate, weird, or a stalker. Just act normal.
This is the same that applies to making Any friends.
A person who can't look you in the eyes, and smile and exuded vibes of confidence is not going to be a person you want to approach. This includes of course those who are extremely shy or its call social anxiety today. Anything else about a people is not a turn off, unless you think so and those vibes are picked up by others, a potential girlfriend and they will avoid you but not know why.
Hi,
I live in Canada and I am 18 years old. Throughout my life, I have come across many ups and downs. Things such as losing friends, not being able to find work, and etc., haven't bothered me as much as what I am about to tell you. I have grown up in a religious family of 6. My parents, my siblings and me. I always used to get beat up over the littlest things, and I used to cry, as every child would when their mother would beat them up, and I get that. I understand that in certain cultures/societies children get hurt over something little and their parents hurt them so the child doesn't make the same mistake over again. When I was in grade 7, my beliefs in religion changed and I stopped praying and practising my religion's ways. No one knew about this, not even my own family members but I used to act like I was praying when I was forced to so they wouldn't think anything skeptical. Ever since grade 7 , and even before that, I am always getting hurt, physically abused, by my mother. There's been hitting my head against a wall, swearing at me, calling me names, threatining me (for ex. "Dont tell your dad I did this to you or else"), leaving red and purple marks/bruises on my body (which are long gone now), and etc. When I was in grade 12, I was 17 years old. I went through even more pain and suffering at home and because of that I ended up skipping my classes and I almost came close to failing my courses and not being able to graduate. My mom went back home during that time for about 1 1/2 months, and I had some freedom from the pain. While she was gone, I was still living in the darkness, not going to classes and I was able to get into touch with a social worker at my school. She helped me a bit but couldn't do anything for me, like take me out of the home, because I was not 18 and she needed parental consent, which I did not want. My mother came back from her trip and she found out about my not wanting to wear the religious headwrap. I always used to tell her that I do not want to wear it and she never knew why because of my beliefs and yet I used to get physically hurt so much. In September 2014, I started college and I dropped out during the second week because everyday she would make me wear the religious headwrap to school (which I never did, I would sneakily take it off and on). Also, I never had a proper study table, no laptop , and no books. My older sister, however, had everything given to her. I used to get beat up over that and then I dropped out and for the past year now, I have been going through so much pain. In December of 2014, I met someone. Someone who loves and cares for me more than anything in this world. Someone who would do anything for me, and I kept that person a secret from my family all my life. One day, in April 2014, I decided to write a letter to someone who I knew would help me on this religion issue. I wrote about how I did not believe in the religion, I wrote about what I was going through because of it, such as the physical abuse and so forth. I came home one day to see that my mom had already opened the reply, which I got about 3 months later. She got mad as to why I talked about her abusing me physically in the letter and so forth, and out of anger I said that If I couldnt talk to you or dad about it, then who could I turn to? She hasn't beat me up since that, but she did yesterday. Today, I still hear about her yelling at me because of the letter and so forth. Today, I am in college, however I cant continue anymore. I am 18 now, and I can make my own decisions. I have somewhere to go, somewhere where people love and care for me, somewhere where I will have a roof over my head and food on the table. I am planning to book a flight soon and wanting, well needing to leave soon. I would have to drop my college courses and pay back student loans but I need to be out of this home as soon as possible. I wish there was somewhere near for me to go, like rent an apartment or so but I cant afford to as I am not working and I do not have a stable income. The person I mentioned earlier who loves me endlessly and so forth, is my partner. His mother and him want me to be safe and are willing to take me into their home for as long as I need so I dont have to go through any of the pain and suffering here anymore. I want to know, is the decision that I am taking, to leave a not and just leave from here for once and for all, a good decision? As I am the age of majority, they cant force me to come back. I need some light to shed on me. Thank you.
I back up adviceman wholeheartedly. I feel though that I must address the issue of her demanding you never tell Dad what she's doing and your not reporting it ever to authorities.
If your mother had been reported to the authorities for abusing her children, then she could have gotten the help she needed because what she is doing is Not Normal parenting. It is far more likely she came from an abusive background herself and this is typical for abused children. AS few become adults and vow to do the total opposite of what their bad parents did, but most go on to abuse children of their own some day and the abuse cycle continues.
I know that most kids will not tell on a parent because they love their parent, despite the abuse and I understand that. But not saying something that could get help for Mom, allowing her to continue doing this isnt going to help her or any other siblings. You say one is getting favored. Whether hit or not, even a favored child lives in fear that one day Mom will snap and decide to start using them as a punching bag too. The abuse they witness goes into their memories and messes up the process of normal emotional growth from child to adult. My husband was verbally abuse towards me, a few times the kids, mostly me. The kids grew up watching him treat me so. I eventually left once they became adults of 18 and older. I should have left sooner. I can now witness the emotional damage in my adult daughters as they struggle to find good men they can trust. Two have chosen guys as bad as their own dad. The 3rd is gun-shy and unable to commit to a guy fully due to underlying fears of things going wrong and has a need to be in control and find a weak man who will be her lap dog instead of an equal partner. I feel horrible now that I didn't do something earlier. If you want to see any of your siblings grow up with emotional relationship problems, or become child abusers themselves, then all you have to do is say nothing. Even if you are 18 and would be wise to leave home to go live with this family, something still needs to happen to help mom and protect the rest of the kids in your family home. This is a serious matter. Mom isn't even following religion correctly. I know most all religions teach to love others and not do to others things you wouldnt care to have done to you. The golden rule its called and of the many religions i have studied some, Each has their own version of the same rule, just reworded differently, even in paganism, "If it harm none, do as you will." yES the bruises that harm the flesh fade but the greater harm is what that abuse does to the mind. You may even find that you could be in need of counseling too as a victim of abuse. In time, the issues will come up, they cant stay hidden in your subconscious forever without showing up as anxieties, physical health problems, problems sleeping, concentrating, trusting others, etc... If you truly love Mom and your siblings, you will speak up immediately, show your bruising to police and they will make sure MOM is taken in and mental health officials will likely check her out and get her help. Your Dad needs to know. He loves his children and surely would not choose to have his wife, beat and abuse his own children...and thats way she told you not to tell. She may be his wife and he loves her and wants the best for her, but never saying a thing is not helping her and the abuse has gone on long enough and needs to come to a stop. You are the oldest so it falls on you to do something now or forever live with the guilt as you watch your siblings live messed up lives because of it, or discover how it has messed up your own 'future' life.
This may sound strange, but this usually did not happen in this school. Years ago, I went to an elementary school, and this school was ran by an amazing principal and some of the greatest memories I've had was when he was principal.
Unfortunately, he retired and the new principal came in the beginning of my last year of elementary school. She changed everything (the appearance inside, the playground sets, etc.) But the strange thing about the one rule she enforced was that the older kids had to walk around the basketball court during recess. Not part of recess, but the whole recess. Every day for the whole year. And it wasn't all kids, it was just the older ones. Sixth graders and possibly fifth graders. I'm not sure what grades had to do it, but I know the younger ones did not.
I witnessed younger kids, kindergartners and second graders come out from lunch and they played on the new playground set or on the soccer field. The older kids got in trouble for even stepping out of the basketball court. Obviously the basketball court was not being used because there were 30-40 kids walking around it.
I have always been curious about why that happened. I asked a few of my friends if the same rule was enforced for them, and they have never heard of such thing. My question is, was there a law that was passed and said that 11-12 year-olds are no longer allowed to have recess? Or do you have any idea/opinion why this rule was enforced?
Advicemans ideas I agree with, most likely to keep older kids separated from the younger ones. I attended an elementary that had two playgrounds. One was for K thru 3rd grade, while 4th grade and up was in the lower playground and the reason then was to protect the younger children and that makes sense. There was even a fence separating the two and a playground supervisor who watched the gateways to be sure there was no leaving or entering a playground you werent assigned to. The principal likely had knowledge of or experience with playground issues due to older and younger children mixing. So she wanted to avoid the potential problem and took it upon herself to solve it this way which is totally unfair. If there wasnt enough space to split playgrounds, then separate recess and lunch breaks for the age groups would have been better. WHat should have happened is enough kids complaining to the parents and the parents getting involved. That would have meant the principal now had to come up with a team of other school workers who would work together to come up with the best idea to problem solve. She wasn't creative enough and didnt ask for help and input is her problem. This was one persons crazy idea that is not a rule for all schools and not a law.
I am an Indian by nationality. from initial years of my schooling I have been a good learner and a great student at almost all subjects. I had an inclination in science and English language and wanted to work as a doctor or an editor as I grow up. I decided to go for medicine as a career but could not make it due to financial crisis and scarce seats in colleges. anyhow, I started with b.sc. in botany last year as it offered a safer landing to my career after JRF,M.Sc.Ph.D etc as a lecturer. but now it turns out to me that I can change my avenue by opting M.A. journalism or M.A. English and try to up bring my notion to be an editor or that sort of stuff. messed in my own dilemmas, I gave a sort of career test few days ago, it only added fuel to my fire! if I quote my result it says," yours is a hardworking, meticulous and diplomat personality. you have the attributes to be professional and meet the targets all times which makes you a dream employee . you'd be an asset at the corporate world." now this leaves me in a mess what should I go for a better career? M.Sc. , M.A. , M.B.A.? which of these would be a judicious choice?
It sounds like a person said this to you or wrote this in response to some test you took. The compliments can fit many different careers and indeed are an integral part of being a good candidate for a job such as 'hardworking, meticuous, professional, meeting the targets. That does not just apply to the corporate world but every job out there. Its just that some people feel if they don't have a certain level of job, they have less pride in their work and let things slide. But those things are important in any job.
Now if you will be doing a job that is not behind the scenes somewhere in an office but is service oriented or will require needing to speak to customers whether by phone or in person, then extra qualifications are needed in working with the public such as being a diplomatic personality, able to control ones emotions under pressure, a good problem solver, charismatic, friendly, good at gaining a persons trust and willing to go the extra step to help a customer. Those are a few of what come to mind at the moment. When pursuing a job, many go for the prestige of it, the initials that go behind your name, the lovely big income, but forget to go for the work that you have a passion for. There could be many jobs that your passions could fit perfectly. So what you need to discover is what it is that you deep down inside are passionate about, the things that interest most, come naturally to you as part of your personality and time seems to fly whenever you pursue such things. To make it easier to understand, I will use my self as an example.
I wanted to be able to tell others in a dating profile, much like one would tell information in a resume of who I really am at core. I find that anything that involves creativity or nurturing is what fuels my passions and my passions fuel any pastime or job that involves that. I have always been the natural mother, able to handle any amount of kids, my own and all their kids at once without losing my cool. Things were explained differently depending on their age level and tasks given again regarding their age level, always treatin them as human beings with a right to the same things that adults like to be treated. ANd I did much of the special guided crafts, activities, parties, or memory making family traditions that my kids carried on doing once having their own home and husband or boyfriend. That nurturing drew me to the garden too, planting seeds, or new plants, tending to them, making sure weeds were taken out, and right amounts of sun or shade available and many commented how lovely my garden was. I used my creativity in the garden but also in crafts with kids and also for myself, in writing poems, stories, creating songs for the kids, or for myself to play on guitar, I loved to create special baked things and later moved on to jewelry making and such. I hope you get the idea that if I looked hard enough, I'd find several jobs where my creativity and nurturing had an outlet. The advice column here is a way to nurture others. Or I could have fun being a window dresser, one who puts up window displays for companies. Or work in a bakery creating pretty cakes, etc....
Discover first your passions and then look hard at the careers to see if any will offer any outlet for those passions. It is the person who is passionate in their vocation who is also the most successful in their career. I will not see a Dr who cares more about his paycheck than my needs and people can easily pick up the energy or the vibes coming off a person, not just their words or body language which can cement the fact that they dont really care to help you or do their job, its just another day to pay day and having money to pay your bills. You have taken care of your budget without helping anyone else in the world really. So that is my advice, to help you in deciding what schooling or career degree to go after.
Can I still get braces if I need to replace 2 cracked crowns in the back of my teeth?
It costs $800 each to replace each crown. Can I get braces without replacing the crowns?
That is something to ask a orthodontist. If braces are going around a tooth that is in poor shape to begin with, It doesnt sound logical to do so.
If you have low income, no insurance, try calling a couple dentists and letting them know your situation, like if out of work, a student, low or fixed income,and that you need to know of a low cost dentist, where you can pay based on a sliding scale of what you earn. I was once in such a situation. The third dentist I called told me they knew of a dentist they could refer me to. He was great and did quality work, the same as ones charging 4 times as much. So you might try that. But do check and see what an orthodontist (those who do braces ) will say. Just so you know, braces cost a heck of a lot more than crowns from my experience of kids with braces and me getting crowns done.
I don't have a lot of friends andI know I should be grateful for the ones I do have but I feel alone. I don't have like a group of friends all my friends are from different groups. I used to have a group of friends but we're not really friends anymore but that's a story for another time. Anyways lets talk about the kinds of friends I have friend A is really judgemental and she's always called me ugly but with mixed signals I don't if she knows that I caught on but oh well but this is how she'd call me ugly in grade 8 she said that me and this guy would look cute together, the next day she said that same guy and this other girl would look cute together because they're both ugly. She just basically called me ugly without remembering what she said the day before. Grade 9 comes and she says "wow you're so lucky you're not popular cause I don't hear boys talk about you and say that you're super ugly" so she just called me ugly again. Grade 10 comes and she looks at me and says "wow I'm imagining how you'd look with makeup and longer hair you'd look really good" which indicates sheets 's still not happy with my appearance, grade 11 comes and my hair is finally longer and she says "see I told you, you'd look better with longer hair now all you need is makeup" indicating she's still not happy with how I look. Grade 12 just started and she's still bringing up I should wear makeup. I finally branched out in making new friends too so in grade 10 I became friends with friend B we clicked and hung out a lot in the summer until Halloween of grade 11 when she got a boyfriend and to this day she only talks to me about her boyfriend, doesn't invite me out anywhere unless her boyfriend comes, even when you tell her that you want a girls night he still finds a way to come. They're basically joined at the hip cause they're always together so of course I feel alone when I hangout with her cause now whenever I tell her my problems she relates it to her boyfriend, I'm friends with her boyfriend too but they're just annoying. Friend C only talks about her culture and makeup and whenever you bring something else up she says "stop its gonna make me depressed" in the summer she used to call me every single day and I'm not exaggerating whether I was out with family she would call, now she has a guy to talk to and now that's all she talks about, she's like friend B where if you bring something up she'll relate it to the guy. Friend D only talks about boys and again whenever you bring up something else she'll brush it off and talk about her problems but out of all these friends id probably have fun hanging out with friend D because this summer she was the only one that wanted to hangout with me. Friend A and I only talk in school, friend B was all about her boyfriend and I don't wanna hangout with friend C because she's too "classy" to take public transit. Her words not mine. I just want a friend where we can both talk about our problems equally, still be able to have inside jokes and we're not judgemental about each other, we wouldn't talk about the same thing 24/7 and we'd go places. With the friends I have now let me just tell you this now none of them really personally know anything about me I've known friend D the longest out of all of them and she didn't even know my family background till this year that's to tell you how self-centred my friends are but I could tell you so many facts about them. I've tried making more friends at my school but now that it's grade 12 cliques are already formed and I'm super shy I'm surprised I've made different friends but the ones I haven't mentioned are just acquaintances that don't want to be anything more than a school friend. What do I do what can I do to stop feeling lonely when I have friends? I have social media too but I also feel alone on there too cause no one interacts with me whenever I interact with them they just favourite my tweet and that's it. Please help and thank you if you've read up to this point and sorry if there are a lot of typos this was typed on my iPhone. I also tried joining clubs and so far everyone in the clubs are friends with each other already so they kind of automatically excluded me with out their knowledge
I think you need to learn what a friend really is or you're in big trouble when it comes time to marry cus the most successful marriage or long term relationships are based on being best friends and having romantic chemistry.
Right now, A is not a friend. A friend builds you up instead of tearing you down, Will support you and your goals and encourage you even if its not quite their thing.
B is likely a friend, just immature and not realizing she's excluding you now that she has a blyfriend. Heck, even I have been the same way, my attention always total sucked up by the latest guy I was dating and I was not attempting to purposely be mean. Thats the way it is when love hits, when it happens to you, you;ll understand.
Person C is also not a friend. Maybe you or she feel you are friends but shes acting too exclusive to be a friend. A friend doesnt mind the circumstances, like if your house or room isn't spotless, they come to see you not the place, not the transportation or even where you go...the most important thing is that you are both spending time together cus you both care about each other and the world seems more fun even when you are together doing the most mundane things...remember this one especially cus its a sure way to know when you've found the right guy.
Person D may have potential to become a friend if she can mature and grow up and realize the world does not revolve around her. See, a true friend is going to be thinking about their friend first, not themselves, or at least equally to the time concerned about themselves. And they will put aside their needs to come to you in your time of need, to give up a shoulder to cry on, listen to your woes,comfort and encourage you, etc...
A person does not automatically become your friend because they will give you the time of day once in a while to smile or say a few words, hateful or nice. A person does not become a friend simply because you see them routinely on a daily basis. For school age, those are classmates, not friends. For a working adult, thats co-workers, not friends. No one has earned the title of friend until they treat others like a friend.
I am thinking that perhaps you are too nice and don't say the things that need to be said. Nice people try to avoid confrontations and fights, sweep their real feelings under the rug and pretend all is well. This is a bad thing to do because those emotions will eventually erupt in you as multiple anxieties if you dont already have them.
There is a right and wrong way to stand up for yourself and things that can be said to draw the line as to what is acceptable to you and what is not.
Person A: Look Sue, every year, you've found ways to comment either directly or indirectly about my looks, being ugly. That is your opinion, it wasn't asked for and if not asked for, needs to be kept to yourself. You wont go far in life if you keep up that type of attitude. Further more, what you think is pretty or ugly, is simply a matter of taste. Some people today may think too skinny or big boned women to be unattractive. The moods of media over the years have changed as to what beauty is. Once skinny was in with Twiggy. Big boned full figure women were in with Marilyn Monroe. Even Renaissance painters showed what was popular in their time, women with pouchy rounded tummies instead of flat like today. If you insist on labeling me un flattering or attempting to suggest your ideas of beauty for me to try, then I will no longer associate with you. Dont even bother saying Hi.
Person C, Hey Sasha, I know you feel certain things are not tasteful to you like riding public transportation. If that is more important to you than being a good close friend and enjoying time with me, then enjoy your classy life without me because I am looking for a true friend where we both care about each other, not the trappings that come with, and we don't judge each other for the life situation in which we each find ourselves.
Person D; Hey Lilly, I have been listening to you and lending an ear, and empathy, sympathy, encouragement in all. Did you realize it has been only one way...what I do for you. You may not realize it but you have never taken time to listen to me and what my day was like, whats on my mind, my hopes and dreams or worries. I would like it to be a friendship where we both give of our time to each other, not just take from each other. Can you do that with me? Are you willing to try? Cus if you only need an audience to listen to you, thats not me and I will look for a friend elsewhere.
I think its harder for you than when I was young because now so many hide behind their cells, texting and social media and don't even know how to talk face to face let alone how to be a friend. To encourage you, some people do finally learn how after H.S. but pretty much during school days, everyone is acting like they have lots of real friends and hanging out with others but no one is being a real friend. I've heard that colleges are offering classes now to teach people how to talk to each other face to face...something key in any relationship, friends or ones mate for life. Without knowing how to communicate or be a friend, all will struggle in life in their own ways.
All I can think of for you is to do as much reading and research as you can, ask at bookstore and libraries for any books that help teach the fundamentals of relationships, how to communicate, how to be a friend, how to have self confidence. Self confidence goes a long ways towards making a person more attractive or approachable. Do you smile? Do you approach others first and compliment them (stroke their egos) Are you good at conversation...not in text or posting on social media but in person? Can you be self assertive, meaning you let others know up front (this works great in dating) what you are looking for in a friend or a date, you let them know of what your strengths and abilities are to bring into the relationship (this can be things like being down to earth, into health foods, a nurturing caring type person and hobbies of reading and hiking or biking. When another knows up front what you have to offer a friendship or relationship and what you are looking for, they will know right up front whether they should turn away and look elsewhere or whether they might want to invest their time with getting to know you even better. Then at some point they will come to be the kind of friend you are looking for. All you will need to list your boundaries, thing off limits. I ask for respect, so no belittling comments or criticizing of me, no talking behind my back, no lying, etc. or if dating, I am not a booty call. I am looking for a friendship first, love and sex later. I hope this gives you an idea of what you can do that might help. I know its harder for your generation, but it can be done, you can rise and shine so that at one point, everyone else is looking up to you because you are the role model of your generation, someone confident and happy and able to make others happy, and well loved by many. As an adult, I came to a point where I realised that I had surpassed many of my peers from H.S. in ways they still hadnt and may never change and grow to improve as human beings. I hope the same for you. Its very possible. Start reading and studying more than social media.
recently i have thought about getting a date but i dont want to change who i am and i want the girl i go out with to accept me for who i am but i never succeeded at getting a date never got the chance also i am hoping to have a girlfriend who will like drive me to different places take me out to eat take me to the mall and be my caretaker and no im not looking for a servant just someone who is more like me and if you are Dragonflymagic can you please receive this in your advice column thank you .
Someone 'more like you' is too vague for me to have an idea as to what is the issue here. Is it mental disabilities or physical ones that you have?
It is one thing to say you want someone to accept you for who you are. I have no mental or physical issues but when looking for a 2nd mate after a divorce, I also wanted someone who would accept me for who I am. And even in my position, that is hard to find, a mature person wanting to find love with someone and able to tolerate and accept any issues the other may have, be it PTSD, scars from an accident, birth defects, Aspergers syndrome or what have you.
I used to be a caregiver to physically and mentally disabled people. All were alone and I know that most needed help in some way that pertains to daily living such as what you listed, wanted and needed social interaction, and a few also wished for a person to fall in love with. It is hard to find anyone willing to take on a lot of responsibilities of doing for someone else on top of taking care of themselves. If as I did, plain caregiving, there is an income earned to entice a person. If the only thing to draw a girls attention is love...doing everything you need simply because she loves you, then its hard to find someone like that initially willing to get to know you well enough to see if they fall in love. There are of course lots of guys out there who can be assholes when it comes to women and perhaps there is a gal tired of all the good looking guys with great paychecks who treat them like crap. Hey, thats what I had in 1st marriage, verbal abuse. So its out there. A female may be more than ready to find a guy who will treat her right. Its like hunting for a needle in a haystack unless you use something like the internet as a tool, a dating site. They have specialized sites for seniors now, they have them for those with herpes, and I am sure they may have them for people in whatever situation they find themselves. But I still believe the regular sites will work at narrowing down the possibilities. Many guys aren't honest on there. So if you choose to try, be honest and It took me two years of hunting to find my 2nd husband and meeting lots of toads before then. If I hadnt met him, I still might be alone and I dont have any mental or physical issues.
You dont even give your age. It is a lot to expect a gal in her 20s to become a partner to someone who needs her to take him places,and pay his way everywhere which is kinda what you sound like here. The words aren't clear and are easily to be misunderstood. If your only issue is that you have some social anxieties and dont own a car, there's no problem at all. But see, I dont know, I am only guessing worst case scenerio here.
I'm 23 I don't know what to do next.
Just over a year ago I had the copper coil fitted. About 3monrhs after every time I have a period I have the runs and can be rather bad, my periods have also become irregular again so buying Diarrhoea tablets is getting rather expensive. I never get period pains never have.
I'm not sure if this is something my coil is doing to me or it's a natural thing that's happening to me. Do I go back to the family planning clinic? I'm starting to get so frustrated with it all
Hi there.
Diarrhea can occur with some periods, I have experienced that, but not every single one straight in a row for 9 months.
You say this happens only during a period? And periods are now irregular? You can't guess this one on your own because those bits of info change your issues into something entirely different that a Dr. needs to check you out for.
I will recommend possibly seeing both the gynecologist in family planning for the irregular periods and your general medical Dr. for the diarrhea.
The only way there is a slight chance of the copper iud being related to your having diarrhea would be if you have the diarrhea all the time since the inserting of IUD and it doesnt happen just when having a period.
Heres an article on having too much copper in your system.
http://www.diagnose-me.com/symptoms-of/copper-toxicity.html
As you will see from the article, you can be tested for having too high levels of copper in your system which also means too low on zinc.
It may be as easy as adding zinc tablets to your diet. However, you'll note that the extra copper in this case comes from water supply, specifically old copper piping which you may be getting on a daily basis, and though it was a lot in your system, it didn't go 'over the edge' until adding the copper from an IUD which can then cause diarrhea. Now if you said that you have looser to runny bowels all the time but during periods, it became watery, then you have a form of diarrhea all the time and this situation may be a possibilty. The cure may be getting your water tested for copper levels and considering newer piping if you own and the pipes are the cause. You may then be able to handle a copper IUD without much trouble. In the meanwhile, until you can get in to see the Dr. for relief, in case theres copper in the water, switch to bottled water for drinking And cooking until you know for sure.
So my best friend and I are always together. Because of this I tend to meet her otherfriends and make friends through her. About a year ago we started occasionally visiting her friend, lets call her Laura, and also Laura's boyfriend since ge lives with her. So a few days ago Lauras boyfriend told my friend he has a crush on me, I'm terribly shy and don't know how talk to people...let alone in those circumstances.... Buy anyway he messaged me on Facebook yesterday and I didnt know what to say... He had said hey and I left it for a few hourse until i was just like 'hola' and then he didnt say anything until this morning he said 'hit me up when your not buzy' its 8 at night and I still haven't opened it or responded and I don't know what to say I really don't want to be mean or ignore him and make things awkard for mu friend but I also don't know what to say because I really don't like him that way and considering the other circumstances besides the fact I'm friends with his girlfriend... I just don't know what to say and I can't just keep ignoring all his messages if he keeps talking to me
If you have Laura on Facebook as a friend, then its entirely natural for her boyfriend to want to add any acquaintences or friends of hers as his facebook friends too.
If you dont have Laura on Facebook as a friend and have no great itch to add her, then certainly ignore him. I've gotten guys writing me who aren't related in any way to any of my facebook friends. When not a friend on facebook, it only means they can't see your facebook postings but they can send messages. Some guys were using facebook as a dating site, writing to tell me they are a widowed dad with a child and are looking for a good woman who could love him and his child, that sort of stuff. I tell them to try dating sites and mention a couple and let them know this is the wrong venue and if they write me again, I will need to alert facebook that they are pestering me. Since you are shy, its going to be hard for you to say anything at all to him. So the best thing for you might be to just ignore him. Afterall, if he ever corners you in person and asks why you haven't responded, you can then say, "Hey look, My friend Beth happened to have a friend named Laura she wanted me to meet. The purpose was to be friends with Laura, not to become chummy with her boyfriend. You are just an acquaintence, someone i have met in the process of making a new friend but not someone I was seeking to become friends with. Nothing personal, but I don't get real friendly or close with guys who already have a girlfriend who happens to me a friend of mine." He needs to know nothing else.
I have a bestfriend and I feel he's slowly drifting away. We graduated and he told me we would be bestfriends forever, and he still checked up on me, and he still meets me regularly, but once i see him enjoying with his other friends, he feels so distant... I want our relationship to be kept... how
My first thought was the same as solidadvices last thought, that you might be female and possibly in love with him and not know it.
When two people of opposite sex are best of friends, it is possible for one or both to develop romantic feelings for each other over time. How can someone not know they are in love in this case? Because the feelings sneak up on you totally, not a big flash bang explosion of desire as some feel when they meet someone the first time. Both are valid ways to be romantically attracted and fall in love. In your case, its easier when the other is someone who's your best friend, an important component of healthy long term relationships and marriages.
First, I don't want you to feel you're bad for feeling jealousy. Let me explain what jealousy actually is with an analogy and you'll see. Jealousy is like an indicator light on the dashboard of your car, alerting you that something needs tending or needs to be fixed in order for it to remain running and in good condition. In humans, jealousy is the indicator on the dashboard of Your life, not his, he's not feeling jealous. So you need to really that jealous feelings in you mean that there is something wrong inside you that needs to be discovered so it can be taken care of.
What this analogy does is tell you that for certain, it is not his new friends, and a change from how often he saw you before that is the problem.
It could be as simple as unreal expectations if not being in love. Your mind does the same thing everyones mind does so easily. We all have issues with negative distorted thoughts that creep into our minds more often than positive ones. Heres an easy one. A daughter of mine threw up after a dinner that included peas. Her thoughts were, I got sick to my stomach after eating peas so I need to avoid peas the rest of my life. She totally dismissed the fact that she had gotten the flu and any food would have come up. To this day, she avoids eating peas. That is not such a big deal but other distorted thoughts can make us really miserable in life and hold us back from living life to the fullest. Its a long list which I wont go into. But I will say that some people are good at snapping out of it after a short time dwelling on negative thoughts and realization they are nothing but distortions that sucked our emotions in to involvement which is what makes these thoughts or fears or jealousys feel so real and valid when in reality, its only a situation made up in our minds with no real life validity.
If you are not in love, or lets say you are a male missing his company...then you interpreted his words, “ We will be best friends forever" to mean something in your mind, had a picture of it and expectations of it, which in reality are far from what real life is for graduating seniors. It doesnt mean he lied. You simply thought something entirely different. H.S. Friends rarely are ever seen again on a daily basis as when one was in H.S. Some go far away to college, some get full time jobs that keep them busy, or even jobs out of state, some are doing local college and a job and their time and schedules don't allow for seeing a best friend or even calling them daily to chat as before. I am sure you do understand this too. But the trouble is, some of us have a hard time making the adjustment, the switch to life being different now that one is out of H.S. Life goes on but it only goes on if there are changes. Your friends finish college, get a job, marry and have kids and become g randparents and later die. It is the circle of life. Nothing can stay the same. Those who vainly try to keep things the same as always without change, will find themselves miserable. If you can't correct your thinking and adjust, you may need a little extra help called Cognitive behavior therapy, CBT. Cognitions is a fancy word for thoughts. You can find a psychologist trained in CBT and find help. It is not a long term year after year process but works much faster as it is you learning how to control your thoughts from an expert in the field.
If you are in love, you may want to say something to him to see if he feels the same. However do not come out and say 'I am in love with you” because this puts the other person awkwardly on the spot if they dont feel the same and causes other issues. It is better to state it as if it is something just starting to develop which means a friend doesnt feels as awkward saying they dont feel the same if thats the case. I don't know why this is so, I just share what the relationship experts have said.
Hallow i need help for my drama Homework and actually i don't really know what i need to write about . The homework is :
To write about customer which has complained that the manager was rude to them .
This was my h.w. can you help me if you may.
So homework is more about script writing and story line rather than the acting an already written part.
If story writing is not a strength for you, I think the best way to come up with ideas to jot down before writing is to use your imagination a bit and try to place yourself in that situation. So decide first what situation you want to write about, a manager of a fast food place or restaurant, a manager of a retail store or a manager of a service based business such as carpet cleaning or yard maintenance service, or the manager of a call center you called to straighten out their mistake on a bill you recieved.
Now imagination a situation that has you dissatisfied. You ask to talk to their manager about it. If you can, even find a way to stick a little humor in too besides your anger and frustration. Adding an extra emotion makes it more memorable as a script.
Heres my real life example. I joined a book club for my kids where each month they send one book to us and if we don't want it, we send it back. I stayed on that program for about 10 months and then attempted to cancel which I was told in the beginning was easy, no problem. Now that I looked at my bill, there was no phone number to call and they werent on the internet yet, pc's were just starting to become popular. So I wrote on my bill asking someone to call me as I wished to cancel my book service. I got another book for the next 3 months even though I sent no money in but repeated letters asking to speak to the manager. One day I finally got a phone call and was told I was speaking to the manager of the book company and I was told, they were calling to fix their mistake and apologize and also tell me how much attention my letter got in their office. I had written, "Look, I have tried repeatedly to contact you by mail. Someone is opening these envelopes to find payment and are seeing my letters asking you to call me since your bill has NO phone number on it. Since you have not called, I can only assume that either you have no telephones at all in your company or no one in your company has fingers or hands with which to dial the phone." She told me that the woman who opened my latest letter was a person with a missing hand and wore a prosthesis and everyone there had a great laugh at the coincidence. True story dear, which if you like...you may use or change to fit your script.
Enjoy.
Today was the first time i thought about suicide. I have never been the type of person to spiral like this. But it seems my time has come. I recieved a check from a kijiji job posting and i cashed it and continued on my way. Waiting for the person to tell me where the job was. Well i just found out it was fraud and i now have to pay back 4000$ in two weeks. I do not have a job, and it will be impossible for me to pay this back. My account has been frozen. I cannot pay my rent or for food or anything until I pay back this full amount. I am so lost and alone and i have been crying for 3 days straight unable to think of what to do. I have no family and I live in a city where I dont no anyone. I feel like i should just end it because my life will never be livable again.
-So your line of thinking is that there are no other options in your situation but suicide? If that were the case, there would never be any homeless people in this world because they ALL would commit suicide to avoid being in debt, not having access to any money, not having a job, not having any food and no warm place to sleep at night. I can guarantee you that the amount of homeless are alive and growing in numbers, not commiting suicide. Suicide is where people turn when they feel there is no hope left. But it is not a good option. I am living out of my vehicle and am full of joy for life. It really is about our mind set regarding our situation. I want better than I have but its going to be a long hard road and I am willing to travel that road.
For you, if you really feel you're ready to commit suicide, call 911.
If this is your cry for help, then hears something you might try.
All cities now have some sort of programs to help people with low or no income to make rent, pay electricity until you can find work. If not working, no matter what you owe, any amount of money owed, can not be taken from where you have no income. If I were you, since this was a fraud and banks have to face fraudulent deals all the time, they can't expect the people who were unknowingly scammed to pay it back, they have something to cover losses, or more to the point, My bank has not come after me when someone used my debit card number, illegally obtained to order things on line and I contested all those purchases. They go after the person who did wrong, not the bank customer who was innocent. You may want to talk to a lawyer who is willing to do pro bono (free unless there is a case to win) As to not having access to money right now, there is funding to help people in your situation to pay basic need bills. Most city systems are not well organized as far as this goes but the fastest way to find out where to turn might be to check with the following religious based help services out there, Catholic Community Services (CCS), Salvation Army, and St. Vincent de Paul. Just look on line for their offices in your area by city or by county in state. They donate lots of their time and funding to food programs where you go to get a hot meal, sack lunches, listing of area food banks for you to go to and then there is always Dept of Social and Health Services that issues food stamps. If you have no job, then you qualify and they will issue a food card the day of your interview. Its not that hard to deal. As for funds to pay rent, these organizations help with that too and also have listings of several places you can go to and file for some of that grant money to help pay rent and as far as I know, thats not just one month but if your situation hasn't changed, you can continue to do this month after month.
Worst case scenerio, is if you cant attract a lawyer to help you with the fraud thing, or if you dont have a case, then yes, once you get a job, you'll have the bank coming after you for that money. Don't listen to their scare tactic of wanting it back in 2 weeks. the reality is, even someone with a good paying job would find it hard to pay them a chunk like that in 2 weeks time. It is unrealistic. So don't worry about that threat. You can always go the route of filing for bankruptcy in which you will be sat down with the bankruptcy people who look at what your income is from your new job, the bills you're behind on and owe like credit cards, school loans and such, and they come up with a reasonable payment plan that all companies involved agree to receive monthly from you. I know this as I have done this in the past. Say you have a Nordstrom card and owe $500. They work out a deal for you to make steady payments of a smaller amount than the $97. payments on your bill. Perhaps if theres not enough money to spread around to cover paying larger amounts it could be really small, $20. payments until paid off. Of course, you'd have no use of that card anymore, this is just a pay off plan and I would assume that a $4000. fraud debt. would apply as well as any other monies owed to ones bank. YOu might want to do a preliminary talk with Bankruptcy debt collection agency before you even find a job so you'll know what to expect. I wish you the best.