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confusing breakup aftermath
Oh Gosh... I'm so confused...
I was in a relationship... And my guy ended it... I miss him... So I made my Snapchat private and post different things and he is the only who sees them... He has never missed seeing a single one of my postings.... Also he's been screenshoting my photos that I post there... I also got a few emoticons like these from him 💏 and ❤ and I am so confused... Why is he screenshoting my photos?? And all that? Look... He's the one who broke up with me... And I am just not sure what is going on in his mind. I made my Snapchat private so I could tell him how I feel without contacting him directly because I still love and care about him... He won't speak to me at all... Is he afraid to talk to me? Is he just not ready?? Please help!!!
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First. I dont know your age, nor what kind of relationship you had. I am going to assume that you are school age, anywhere from middle school thru college age. I find that this wide ranged age group has the most problems with confusion regarding communication in on going relationships or break ups. I have my theories which I will explain as I believe they may strong affect what is going on.
1. When we are still fairly new to being in relationships, 10 years and under, we do not have the experience of time, of the school of hard knocks to have learned what works and doesn't work. So often, this is plain and simply the problem and something people of this age group just need to learn about on their own with the help of books, you-tube videos and such on dating and good communication and understanding the opposite sex, or if same sex, just understanding the other person.
2. Texting is what I consider the biggest culprit here. Texting creates people who are conversationally challenged and handicapped. In short, you miss out on the scientifically proven larger part of communication which isn't verbally or printed/texted words, but a combo of 3d things: facial expressions, tone of voice and body language. I know you may not believe it but lack of these and not being willing to ask questions or ask a person to rephrase what they just said to make sure you understood them correctly, is what is responsible for most confusion and miscommunication.
So with what I just explained, my guess is that when he said he was breaking up with you, that either you did not ask him why, or if you did, that he did not give an answer. Perhaps he gave an answer that didn't make sense but you failed to then ask him to put it into other words to explain what he meant. These are all skills that get lost somehow, especially when we rely too much on social media and texting.
I can not tell you what it means if he saves your screen shots and checks for everything you post. If I was the one doing this, I could explain to you, because I was the one doing it. You are asking the wrong person dear. You did say: I made my Snapchat private so I could tell him how I feel. However you do not want to do so directly which I assume means in person. And that is one of the problems. Your relationship if based mostly on social media and texting is not much of a relationship, the type so many young people have these days, and the type of relationship with more problems than should be.
You need to have a talk with him in person so he can see your face, hear your tone of voice, as you ask why if you aren't good enough to remain his girlfriend, that he seems to hang on everything you say and post in social media.
Perhaps he feels more like a brother or friend than a romantic boyfriend and that IS a valid reason to not remain bf/gf. He may have another so called reason which may make sense to him and not to you, but its better to get all the facts so you dont go on your entire life wondering why and wondering if this was never meant to work or if there was a change that something simple between you could be worked on by both of you so the relationship could continue and blossom. If you dont investigate, you'll never know and just might miss out on something that could have been good.
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