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How to very subtly frendzone him?
So my best friend and I are always together. Because of this I tend to meet her otherfriends and make friends through her. About a year ago we started occasionally visiting her friend, lets call her Laura, and also Laura's boyfriend since ge lives with her. So a few days ago Lauras boyfriend told my friend he has a crush on me, I'm terribly shy and don't know how talk to people...let alone in those circumstances.... Buy anyway he messaged me on Facebook yesterday and I didnt know what to say... He had said hey and I left it for a few hourse until i was just like 'hola' and then he didnt say anything until this morning he said 'hit me up when your not buzy' its 8 at night and I still haven't opened it or responded and I don't know what to say I really don't want to be mean or ignore him and make things awkard for mu friend but I also don't know what to say because I really don't like him that way and considering the other circumstances besides the fact I'm friends with his girlfriend... I just don't know what to say and I can't just keep ignoring all his messages if he keeps talking to me
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
If you have Laura on Facebook as a friend, then its entirely natural for her boyfriend to want to add any acquaintences or friends of hers as his facebook friends too.
If you dont have Laura on Facebook as a friend and have no great itch to add her, then certainly ignore him. I've gotten guys writing me who aren't related in any way to any of my facebook friends. When not a friend on facebook, it only means they can't see your facebook postings but they can send messages. Some guys were using facebook as a dating site, writing to tell me they are a widowed dad with a child and are looking for a good woman who could love him and his child, that sort of stuff. I tell them to try dating sites and mention a couple and let them know this is the wrong venue and if they write me again, I will need to alert facebook that they are pestering me. Since you are shy, its going to be hard for you to say anything at all to him. So the best thing for you might be to just ignore him. Afterall, if he ever corners you in person and asks why you haven't responded, you can then say, "Hey look, My friend Beth happened to have a friend named Laura she wanted me to meet. The purpose was to be friends with Laura, not to become chummy with her boyfriend. You are just an acquaintence, someone i have met in the process of making a new friend but not someone I was seeking to become friends with. Nothing personal, but I don't get real friendly or close with guys who already have a girlfriend who happens to me a friend of mine." He needs to know nothing else.
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If your best friend hasn't said anything, then you don't have to either.
Laura's boyfriend, is a meddlesome asshole, who deliberately spread gossip and pain in your friendship. That's not okay. That makes him an ass.
Sometimes, we have crushes on people, but we know that doesn't mean we don't care for our girlfriend or boyfriend, and we don't intend to do anything about those crushes.
Unless the person who has the crush, talks to you about, ignore the meddlesome and rude gossipers who try to cause drama. Laura's boyfriend should not be taken seriously. If he continues to try and meddle, tell him to back off, and that your friend can speak up for themselves if they need to.
Reply to your friend. They have done nothing wrong! They are still your friend. You don't need to change anything you are doing. You don't need to try and be mean to somehow 'friend zone' them. They are already your friend! If you need to tell them you are not interested in them like that, then just say that if it comes up - it might never come up! Go back to being a friend, and forget about one stupid person who tried to stir up trouble for no reason.
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I don't think it would be wrong to message him back. I think as long as you don't lead him on or anything like that you're fine.
Given the circumstances, that he's in a relationship, it puts you in a difficult situation.
So you can either not respond to the message, or you can answer but in an "just friend" way.
If he gets flirty or says anything that makes you feel weird, just don't respond.
Hopefully this is just a crush that will fade away.
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