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is it normal to not like my expanded family ?
Hey,so everytime im with my expanded family I feel like I'm not a part of them like most of them are loud and I find it weird I'm not a snob or something like when I'm with my friends I'm the loudest person ever but I just don't feel comfortable with them I don't even talk to some of my cousins I don't know if it's just weird for me to see them because I only see them twice a year but everytime we have a Family event I feel Anxiety and uncomfortable.most of time I don't even come to these family events but I don't want them to think that I don't like them. is it normal or I'm just being weird and should I try to go the my expanded family bbq ?
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No I don't think it is weird at all. As the saying goes you get to choose you friends but not your family. Just because your cousins are the children of you mom and dads brothers and sisters does not mean they have the same interest or values you have. It also does not mean that your Aunts and Uncles have the same values your parents have and have instilled in you. So not being comfortable around your cousins Aunts and Uncles would not be weird at all.
My son and his cousins were and still are very close. My nieces are as close as sisters might be to him and he is as close as a brother might be to them. My sister and I believe they are the exception to the rule as while our family was not all that large there was only one cousin we ever became close with and still are close with.
Given the fact that you are 6, as you said in a previous posting. If I were you father and a family gather was just a 1 day BBQ. I probably would not force you to attend IF I was aware of how upsetting attending these events are to you.
Now if you have really made an effort to get to know and get along with your cousins. Then I suggest sitting down with mom and dad and discussing this with them. You are old enough that you can be trusted to remain at home while they go on to a family BBQ and other such events. In return you agree the events such as Thanksgiving, Easter and other such family events you will put on your brave face and join the family in celebrating the event.
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You should go.
it's not weird to not like people you are related too.
However, your cousins are changing and growing, just like you are, and they are your family. You should make a bit of time each year at least to see them and get to know the people they are now.
Frankly, it's also important life practice to get through social occasions you find stressful. I get really stressed out at larger gatherings as well, but as you get older, it becomes a very important skill to be able to get through those sorts of events even if they aren't the type of things you like the most.
Suck it up. They are your family, and there are many good reasons to stay connected with them. No one says you have to like them all the time, but don't cut them out of our life.
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I think it's normal to feel that way. You act that way because you're not comfortable around them and don't spend that much time around them.
In my opinion, I still think you should attend family events. Just because it's not something that happens often and they won't all always be around. Might as well try to make an effort.
But to answer your question, it's normal to feel that way. Everyone's personality is different and doesn't always click with other people. Especially when someone has a shy personality around people they're not close to.
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