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Still don't know what to do about "Derek"
Thank you very much for your advice with the whole "Derek" situation! So I've been thinking a lot about it...its been bugging me for a long time. Like I feel like I should text him and talk to him but all my friends are saying that I need to wait for him to initiate the conversation before I try and resolve anything. So is that my best option? Like I don't want to text him and then him screenshot everything I say to our other friends because what I want to say to him I only want to say to him. But like he won't talk to me in person so I don't really have an option of talking to him in person other than calling him but he probably wouldn't answer me. So should I wait for him to text me before I try and talk to him about what's going on?
Thanks again!!
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If Derek is unwilling, it doesnt matter if you contact him now or later, you are not going to get any satisfactory response from him. So do whatever you wish. I really wish kids these days would stop texting as a way to communicate because it truly is the worst possible way on earth to communicate. If you wonder why I can say that, read on.
I feel bad for your generation. Not only do you have the normal male female differences in understanding in conversation (which is very true for teens)but you also have a people who no longer prefer to or know how to talk in person or read body language. Add to that the immaturity of young people in not knowing any better to keep a private conversation in oral or written form private and its a big mess that no person on earth can fix, not even you unless both of you are willing and open to keeping your conversations to yourself and using phones calls and face to face for communication. I have texted seldom usually if a daugther texts me. I am slow at it so they have sent 3 more texts while I am still trying to answer the first. I know you may be faster, but I know that a person can easily get distracted by life, by what is happening in real life, unfolding in front of them so often people complain that someone is not answering in a timely manner. Ask a question and no answer, not for days....thats the downside of texting. Also you dont get to see facial expressions or read body language to get a clue if a person was serious or teasing. Teasing can't be done well on text as it needs the other things.
Here's a Big Surprise for you: Texting was really meant to be a "Tool" by their creators, maybe for short convos at the very least but not to be the main way to communicate. I used to be a route manager for a carpet cleaning company. We needed to contact some of our cleaners while they were out doing their scheduled jobs for the day...before texting was invented. All they had was pagers, a device that sounds an alarm, much like a beeping or other noise on your cell to alert you have a text. This meant he had to call to office to find out what we needed to tell him...important stuff like an accident happened on a bridge that we needed to alert him to as it was the way he would take to his next appt. or that his next appt canceled but someone called in and we have a totally different to send him out to. There were all sorts of problems if they didnt hear their pager go off. Sometimes it is important to send an alert or short message of some sort where you dont need to hear back. Like a parent out shopping and you forgot to tell them to pick up tampons for you. So you text Mom and ask her to pick up some. She doesnt need a call for that, just the info. I hope you see what the purpose of texting was really meant to be for. Unfortunately, young people have resorted to using it for full blown conversation and of course that comes with tons of problems and that is one of the biggest issues teens write about, texting misunderstandings or no timely response or response at all.
All I can suggest is to learn how to talk face to face and read body language before no one knows how to do that anymore. Thankfully there are older people writting books, doing videos or teaching classes now on how to communicate face to face. It is crucial to prepare college students for jobs. They can't pick up a cell and text a coworker or the customer standing in front of them to communicate. I know that sounds silly and of course you wouldn't do it but the fact is college aged people are freezing up in fear of not knowing how to converse with a person right in front of them. No its not simple...there is an art to truly good communication and now some colleges offer a course to teach young people how to talk and communicate in person. If I were you, I'd focus more on phone calls and in person and try to get my friends interested instead of using a poor communication technique such as texting.
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