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Member Since: February 25, 2005
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Last Update: July 24, 2011
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13-female & i rate high
my mom and her fiance have just decided that they would like to move in together B4 they get married. (which is sometime at the end of this year.) the lease on our apartment is up at the end of may, and my mom wants us (me, her and my lil' bro) to move in with them (him and his two kids). she says that she doesn't want to renew our lease on our house, b/c at the end of the year she would have to buy out of it b/c she will have to break the lease. his house is not big enough for all six of us to live in, so they have been doing some house hunting in his neighborhood. i have two problems with this:

#1. i am not comfortable with moving in with them right now. i don't really know hime or his kids that well.
#2. i don't want to move to his neighborhood, b/c then i would have to change school districts and leave all of my friends behind.

i have went to dinner with him and his kids. (his daughter is the same age as me.) and we try to do something "together" every weekend or every other weekend, but i feel like this is still not enough to make me comfortable with them. how do i tell my mom how i feel w/o hurting her feelings? i know that she deserves someone in her life that makes her happy, but at the same time i think i should have a say-so too. how do i convince her not to move?

You are right. This is not just a big step for your mom, it's a big step for you and your little brother too. I'm sure your mother really loves you, and has considered the circumstances, but at the same time because of her finances it might be difficult for her to stay behind right now.

All you can do is talk to your mom. I'm certain she would be glad to talk with you about the situation if you did. If you are unsure about what to say...Well, what you just said sounded pretty good. You gave your reasons, explained your feelings with out painting anyone in a negative light, and you acknowledged that you understand that her happiness is important.

When I am telling someone something that I know may hurt their feelings, I usually start by telling them how much care I about them, how I understand what they are feeling, and that I know that the situation is difficult for them too. I'm letting them know before I even start that I'm not attacking them, I just want to discuss the problem in a calm, rational manner. I try not to raise my voice, or use any disapproving language. Normally, people respond by listening, because they don't feel like they have to be on the defensive. When they aren't on the defensive, they are usually very understanding, and will try to remain calm and rational as well.

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My best friends are the 2 hottest girls in school. Every guy likes them...this is the order and why guys check them out

Alex-because shes gorgeous, crazy, and outgoing
Paige-because shes pretty, down to earth, and not prude
Me-because of my personality and bc im not prude


It bothers me so much that I'm not pretty. I know having a good personality is better than everything, but Id rather look good.

So my question is:
Should I change myself *not like i havent tryed* just to be pretty? or just deal with it that im not pretty??

I do think that it is important to feel confident about yourself. If getting a haircut, or wearing some make-up, or finding some form flattering clothes makes you feel better about yourself, then go for it.

However, always remember that you are not pretty, you are _beautiful_. Just because you may not match society's twisted standards of "pretty" doesn't mean that God didn't create you to be equally beautiful to everyone else.

And remember, in real life, and in the end, it doesn't really matter whether you're beautiful on the outside or not. Being beautiful on the inside is what matters, and when you get older you'll discover that inner beauty will touch more people, more deeply, than your appearance ever will.

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I'm on a diet right now, and obviously, Easter is coming up. I have younger siblings who still get candy from the "Easter Bunny" and they're probably not going to buy "The Easter Bunny didn't bring your sister anything because she's on a diet." What can I have my mom give me so that I can have fun on Easter and still stick to my diet?

Since your older, maybe the Easter Bunny could bring you some age appropriate gifts instead of candy. For example, little things like bubble bath, or lip gloss. If they ask why the Easter Bunny brought you gifts that aren't edible, or why they didn't get any, you could tell them that the Easter Bunny likes to give older kids stuff that won't cause them to get cavaties :P Whatever your excuse, tell your parents about it. That way they can back you up and make you look more credible ;)

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Kay well there is this guy.. and we went out for 4 dasy then he COMPLETELY broek my heart.. when he broke up w. me for my BFF and then she was all like chicks b4 dicks.. and I thank ehr fr that! but then she got mad at me for something.. and then went out w. him for pay back.. they broke up in like 2 days and then he started liking me again (thankfully) but i said if you really love me wait until the next day and ask me.. and he did but he didn't like me anymore.. then almost 3 or 4 months later we started talking again me and him (oh and about January me and mah friend started talking again and everything is cool now) and like he and I always play question games.. and he alwasy says that he loves me and everything and like he always jokes around w. me.. and then my friend and him started talking again also.. and they are going out.. btu she cheated on him Friday night.. and they broke up (I think) and trhough all of this I haev always still liked him.. when he and her started going out.. I said.. I thought you didn't like her (becasue that what he said) and he goes well everything I said to you was just a joke.. and I was like WHOAAA! and now he is starting to talk again to me like he did before.. and I have NO IDEA what to do.. HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!! pleaseee!



Oh yeah and this was from about late November to Now!

I'm sorry if what I am about to say is harsh.

This guy does not love you. He may like you, but he doesn't like you enough to respect you or your feelings. He's telling you what you want to hear when he wants your attention, and then running back to your friend whenever he gets bored.

He simply doesn't deserve you. Stop allowing him to play games with your feelings and give someone else your attention. Someone who deserves it.

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So im talking to this person from another country.. I ask him what his country thinks about 9/11. The attack we had. So He said i dont want to tell you im really sorry for that but i should better not tell u prob u must have already understood but still wont teel u. What is it that they possibly think? They think what we are doing is wrong?

9/11 was a terrible, terrible event. No doubt. I'm going to try not to express my political views, but I'm just going to lay another perspective on the table for you...

While America has the longest lasting form of government, and it's so great to live here that many people immigrate every year so that they can be free, make a better home for their family, and have more opportunities, that doesn't make America the "good guy." Our government does a lot of things that could be considered unfair, because of their own vested interests. For example the war, I'm not critizing the current administration, but I am going to point out that a lot of innocent people came to harm when America started hunting down Osama. Was there a better way? I don't know. But it doesn't change the fact that we ruined a lot of lives.

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I'm 20 years old, and going out with this guy this Friday. He's a little bit shy, but I know he's really nice and funny and smart, and I really like him. However, I kinda want the realationship to get a bit more serious. Any tips on how to break the ice?
Thanks~

I don't know if my assumption is correct, but it sounds like you haven't been dating this guy for very long. (Is this your first date?) It's okay to recognize a guy as being a potentially good partner shortly after you've met him. (All us girls tend to do it every now and then.) However, if you haven't known him for very long, try to calm down a little bit and take things slow. Not only might you scare him if you try to take things to fast, you might discover after knowing him for a longer period of time that he's not really as special as you thought he was initially. Then it might be you that is scared and doesn't want a relationship.

If you have been dating this guy for a while, and you think that things are going well but haven't brought up the thought...This is something that you can't really hint at. You'll just have to come out and say it. But I would like to mention that, no matter how shy a guy seems to be, if you've been dating for a while and he's thinking the same thing, he'll eventually bring it up himself. Or he might trick you into something more serious :P I've experienced both scenarios.

Bottom line: Go slow. Getting too serious too fast often has a way of coming back to slap you in the face sooner or later. Be yourself, if he doesn't like you for who you are, he's a fool...Wait for him to make the first move, at least, for a while. If he want's what you want, he'll let you know. If you've been patient for long enough, and suspect he's just EXTREMELY shy, then go for it.

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Ok, i don't know what to put this under ..
Prom is coming up and i have my dress and all ..
But it shows my shoulders/back .. I brake out on my back SO bad i can only get it cleared during the summer b/c i lay out in the sun/tanning bed ..
Any way to get it clear in like 1 month or less ??
Thanks Bunches !!

If I were you I would run to the nearest dermatologist. My dermatologist perscribles a gel for in the morning, and a cream during the night. I use these alternately on my chest and back, and break-outs always seem to clear up quickly.

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help! i dont know what kind of clothes im supposed to wear cuz i have a kinda awkward shaped body, im curvy with a really short torso, somewhat busty, and long to medium length legs. What should I wear to compliment my body, because most of clothes fit awkardly. Also what dress style would be best for my body, i have a graduation dance coming up and i dont know what would look best on me.

A highly recommend the "What Not to Wear" books. They address all sorts of different body types, and you are bound to get a few good ideas for clothing that flatters your body shape.

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my friends brother is coming home from jail at the end of the summer.. her mom is always in a bad mood and her sister has to go to a psychologist because she has problems with her brother.. i feel so bad for my friend.. and she knows there are gonna be more problems when he comes home because her mom will want him to stay in the house and her dad will want him out and her brother never listens... i know its gonna be hard for her and i just want to help her.

All you can really do for your friend is remain her friend. Try to listen and be emotionally supportive.

You might want to mention her situation to your parents, and ask them if it would be all right for her to stay at your house some time. That way, if she's particularly stressed out, you can invite her over for the night or weekend so she'll have a chance to relax.

On a more serious note, and hopefully you won't need to worry about this, try to keep an eye out for anything REALLY disturbing. If her problems are more than she can handle, don't be afraid to suggest to her that she see the school counselor.

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hey. okay i have some stretch marks on my boobs, and im very slef concious about them. none of m friends have them. my boobs arent even that big either! why did i get them, and what can i do to get them go away? i'm afraid to do anything sexual witha guy because im embarresed. i cant wear low shirts because of it. what can i do to maek this go away?

Perfectly normal dearie :) I don't consider mine to be that large either, and I have them too, lol.

I've heard dermatologists recommend Vitamin E oil, it is suppopsed to cause stretch marks to fade considerably. If you try using various products, and nothing seems to work, don't worry. Most stretch marks tend to disappear quite well if you just give your body some time to heal itself.

And don't feel too self-concious. Men don't seem to really notice the stuff that we antagonize ourselves about.

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Dear Missa,

I can't get a former boyfriend off my mind. It’s a very weird situation considering the fact that we were only children when we met. He was my "boyfriend" for three years. I say it that way because our relationship was very innocent, we were so young 9-12, but there was something about our interactions with each other that make me feel as though we are soul mates.

We connected on a level that I just can't explain. We haven't seen or spoken to each other in nearly six years but as of lately I can't stop dreaming about him. I dream about what it would be like if we were to find each other again, reestablish a relationship, and fall back in love with each other and get married. I dream that he still has feelings for me and thinks about me as much as I think about him. I currently live in a different city than him and it would be dumb for me to try and contact him. I feel as though I'm pathetic for not having moved on with my life. I'm sure he has moved on with his and probably doesn't remember me less on still have feelings for me.

The circumstances surrounding our relationship are so difficult to explain but there are some small indications when I last saw him that he still had some interest in me. What should I do to move on with my life? I'm almost 20 years old and have yet to have any sort of relationship with the opposite sex and not counting the varying innocent kisses on the check I shared with this one "boyfriend" as an adolescent, I've never even been kissed! What should I do? Should I seriously explore trying to get back in touch with him or just move on with my life? How can I get on with my life when I can't stop thinking and daydreaming about him?

I really need to find a solution though. I dread going to sleep at night because I know I will dream of him and wake up the next morning feeling bad about me and my life and how alone I am. Please help!

--Nightmares of Dreams

Warning: my response will be long. Long, long, long...Long.

You have two options. 1) You could find him. 2) You could get over him. But before we explore your options, I'd like to take a moment to explore your feelings.

You said that you feel like you are pathetic. You said that you are almost twenty years old and have yet to be involved in an adult relationship. You said that you wake up in the morning and feel bad about yourself, your life, and that you feel alone.

The reason that I am pointing this out is because...Because I think that the way you are feeling about yourself is the real problem, and not the memory of your childhood sweetheart. I believe that you need to address these emotions before you decide on a course of action.

I believe that it is possible that you established a deep emotional connection with this boy, despite that you were both very young. And I understand that once you have formed such a connection, it is difficult to forget that connection or the person that you shared it with. I had a similiar experience with a man that I was best friends with before I ever met my first boyfriend. Even though I do not wish to contact him, I still think about him on a regular basis. He is one of the very few people in this world that I believe knew me, accepted me, and understood me.

While I understand how are you are feeling, I also think that insecurity and lonliness are both contributing factors. You are an adult now. You've probably noticed that most of the women your age are involved in some sort of relationship, or that they have been involved in a relationship in the not too distant past. You might be wondering why _you_ aren't involved in a relationship, and I think this could be the thought that is at the root of your current feelings.

You might be wondering if something is wrong with you. You might be wondering if you will ever find someone who wants the relationship that you want. You might be fearing that you never will.

Such thoughts should be immediately discarded. I do not know you, but I believe that you are a good person, that you deserve to receive what you want, and I have faith that you will. You need to address your insecurities and assure yourself that these fears are invalid. You are normal. Just because you might be on the same page with most of the women that you know, that means nothing. I was about your age when I started dating. I felt insecure and lonely too, and I experienced the same fears. What I later realized is that, I was just a late-bloomer, and this isn't as uncommon as anyone ever thinks. I know several men who did not even start to really date until they were well into their junior or senior years of college. You are not abnormal. You're just a little different and there is nothing wrong with that.

Once you have put your fears to rest, finding a potential partner will be easier. I assure you that you will eventually become involved in a relationship. I would actually wage a ridiculous amount of money in your favor, and I am not a gambling woman :)

And if you are lonely, take stock of what you do have. I'm guessing that you have a loving family and plenty of caring friends. You may be lacking a romantic relationship, but there is no reason for you to feel lonely for too long. I'm sure you have many people in your life to fill that void.

Once you have addressed your feelings about yourself, you need to address your feelings regarding this boy. It is perfectly healthy to recognize the emotional connection that you share with this person. In fact, be thankful that you have made this connection! You now know what you are looking for in a relationship. That is immensely valuable. Many women go through their lives never making the connection that you have made, and as a result they settle for less than they should and end up unhappy. Be grateful to this person, he has shown you what you really want. And now that you know what it is, you shouldn't settle.

At the same time, the fact that you were both children, and that you are now both adults needs to be acknowledged too. I'm not trying to insult your intelligence, I have every confidence that you are an intelligent young woman. I'm pointing this out because, sometimes we dwell for so long on the past, that we forget the reality of the future. You both have become adults, you have probably changed a great deal, and so as he. Even if you were to meet him again, you might realize that the connection that the two of you shared was not as wonderful as you remember it to be. Or that the connection has changed, just as you have changed.

Now, your options...

You said that you think contacting him would be foolish. I think that you might feel foolish if you were to do it, but then again you may not. And either way, I think that if you did, ultimately, you would benefit. If you do decide to find him again, you don't have to actually see him. I suggest that you first just find out what his phone number is and give him a call. And you don't have to fess up and tell him everything you just told me. You could just tell him that for some reason you have been thinking a lot about him lately, and wanted to catch up with him and see how he's doing.

If you do this, just take it slow. This way, you will be able to find out who he is now, if the connection that you shared is as you remember, or whether it continues to exist at all. This is also a good way to get an idea whether or not he has in fact moved on with his life and now has feelings for someone else. When you've assessed the new situation, you will be better prepared to make the next decision. Whether you think that you should try to date him or not. (Yes, long distance relationships are difficult, but you are both adults now. When your an adult, making a long distance relationship work is more than possible.)

So what happens if he has forgotten you? Or he's not as you remembered him to be? The thought of such things can be hurtful, and if it does happen, you will be hurt. But I think that, even though you might be hurt, ultimately you'll feel better. You'll have realized that a relationship with this person is not possible, and will be able to focus your efforts elsewhere. Most importantly, you won't dream about him at night and wonder what could have been when you are awake.

Closure. It really is a beautiful thing :P

Of course, moving on is also an option. You might wonder why I am even bringing this up after what I just said. It is because, since I have been in a similiar situation, I feel it's necessary to share with you what happened to me and how I ended up handling the situation...

His name was Adam. I met him on the internet, and after that we talked to each other on ICQ on almost a daily basis. Our conversations were not always the most deep or enlightening, but he knew more about me than anyone else does, or at least, did at the time. I really felt like he knew me. I really felt like he accepted me, he praised my good qualities and put up with my bad qualities. He understood my thought process, which in itself is a monumental feat. Sometimes _I_ don't even understand why I think the way that I do. When we started on the phone, I discovered that, while I was open to the idea of having a relationship, he was not. It was not that he wasn't attracted, interested, or didn't care about me. Shortly before he had met me, he had ended a long-term relationship that had started the same way. They met over the internet, dated long-distance, and then moved in together. Everything eventually went wrong, he moved out, and into his parents house. He had just started to pick up the pieces of his life, and he admitted to me that he was afraid of taking another risk so soon.

Because of this we lost touch after about six months. Another six months passed and we re-established contact. During a family reunion I actually met him in person. We spent every waking moment of the week together and had a great time.

Unfortunately, our timing was never good. Before he had issues with a possible relationship, now I had issues with a possible relationship. During the six months that we had lost touch, I had met another man, who I started to date. I was crazy about him, but he had issues, and early on the relationship could be considered as turbulent. He knew all about the other man, just as the other man knew all about him. After visiting Adam, the other man told me for the first time that he loved me, and that he wanted a relationship. Because Adam was so far away, among other reasons, I chose the other man. Adam and I talked about this, he understood, and sadly, I never heard from him again.

Now that I am single again, I have considered trying to once again, re-establish contact. Like I said, you never forget someone who you share that type of connection with.

But I decided not to. Why? While Adam had showed me what to look for in a potential partner, and I will never forget and always be grateful, I have to look at the situation logically. It was great while it lasted, but that doesn't mean that if would have worked out in the end. We never had to face many of the common problems that you experience when you are in a relationship with someone. There were other reasons that I did not pursue a relationship, and none of them had to do with the physical distance between us.

I may still be insecure and lonely to a degree, but I love myself and realize there are many people in my life who love me. And I am happy. I still want to experience a loving, lasting relationship, but I am trying to be patient. I am looking for someone who lives up to Adam's standards. It might be a while before I meet someone else who I can establish that special connection with, but I believe that I will meet someone. And when I do, it will be truly special, because I was fortunate enough to have someone show me what it was that I want.

In summary: only you can erase your insecurity and lonliness. No one else, not even this man, even if you were both destined to be with each other. Only you can make yourself happy. Happiness is not something that anyone else can give to you.

Don't be afraid, whatever your decision. If you find him, and you both fall in love with each other, then I am happy for you :) If you find him, and it doesn't work out, be grateful for the closure that you receive. And if you decide to pursue someone else, don't wonder about what might have been. You are not alone, and you will love. This will pass...

I am sorry of I was not able to provide you with much help. I have to admit that, even though I feel like I can relate to your question, this one sort of made my head hurt :P Sometimes it's hard to answer a question when you only have a page of information. But if you would like to discuss the matter further, please feel free to leave a message in my inbox. I am always here to listen to you, and to provide what help I can. Until then, I wish you the very best ;)

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Hi, what I will address won't mainly be asking for advice, but for the input of the columnists on advicenators on a very controversial issue of morals against faith in the latter of sex.

I know that among some religions that premarital sex is sinful and highly prohibited without any exceptions, but what are your opinions?

I myself am a Catholic-Christan, and believed in the "sex until marriage" thing when I was together with my boyfriend. But as we got to know each other over the years, we got into intellectual conversations about this topic and if it's argument is valid and reasonable. I'm not saying that our relationship prompted a shift in mindset on this issue, but knowing him and being with him for so many years along with witnessing other married couples made me think about this a little more thoroughly.

I started to think about it as I grew older, and I began to feel differently. The divorce rate in the U.S. is at an amazingly high rate, and more couples are breaking it off even after saving the sex until marriage "policy". On some occasions I even think that these breakoffs are due to the quality of the sex. If the sex isn't good, usually lovers leave and commit infidelity. Unless the couple is really committed to one another, they will keep trying to make the sex work out.

The way I think about this scenario now is that I believe that it is acceptable to have sex before marriage, under certain circumstances. Because a couple must establish that intellectual intimate bond with commitment, devotion, loyalty, etc. Even then does that take years to accomplish, and the time spent shows respect to each other that both partners are willing to stick it out this long and wait for each other to take action that is of great importance. Also after all that is done, the relationship goes to the next level in the stage of sex. Having sex before marriage lets the couple know how how much they really love each other and how much they are willing to commit to each other. In a sense it tests us on how much we value sex and what factor it plays in our life. And if we don't pass the test in avoiding adultery, it was never meant to be with that person, so how can a couple get married if sex and passion got the best of them to steer them toward someone else?

To conclude, although you could say I'm going against my religion, it doesn't mean that I don't have faith. A lot of the "rules" that we have to abide by sometimes do seem unreasonable, in order to understand love and all the goodness that it brings, I really don't think marriage is enough to keep someone faithful.

In no ways am I encouraging premarital sex, especially on advicenators with teeny-boppers running around having sex with their semi-erect penises, but what I am saying is that before sex comes commitment, loyalty, devotion, understanding, civility, and vice versa. But I do believe that before marriage comes sex. Why because marriage is the highest level that a couple can go through to show their love toward one another for all of eternity, and how can you reach the highest level without sharing everything of yourself to your soulmate, including your most prized possession?

I apologize if I come off a little bias, but that isn't my intention at all. I'm not promoting anything, nor am I objectifying "sex before marriage." Those couples who are able to succeed through this lifestyle, I admire you, I really do. Especially in a society that is centered around sex nowadays. But I would like to know the opinions of others to better understand this controversial subject.

Thanks and sorry for the long read! I hope to hear a lot of responses!

You are obviously very intelligent, and I respect your beliefs. Please understand that what I am about to say is not meant to offend you. I believe in a higher power, and I believe that religion was created as a path to that higher power. Every path should be respected. I am just going to share with you what I learned while walking down my own path...

I believe that marriage is an invention of religion, and that religion is an invention of mankind. Mankind has an idea of what love is, that love is eternal. And so, mankind has invented marriage to give ourselves an idea of what real love is.

However, I think that this particular invention is flawed. When we marry, we must promise to love another, and only one, that we will love them forever. Making such a promise wouldn't be a problem if we could choose what we are going to do tomorrow, today. In reality, we can only promise to _try_.

I agree with what you have to say in regard to sex and marriage. Sex should be the ultimate expression of love, an expression that must be used when words will not prove sufficient. To love someone you must know that person, accept that person, and at least try to understand that person. When you have done this, and come to the conclusion that you love this person, sex is an appropriate reaction.

And you should express to that person how much you love them before promising to even try to love them for the rest of their lives. Your right, you want to know WHO you are making that promise to. And sometimes you can only discover who they really are by exploring the subject more intimately.

Which is also why I believe that it is necessary to live with a person before you marry them. You want to make sure that you can live with them today before you promise to live with them tomorrow. It's sort of like, knowing the product before you buy it. If you buy, say, a CD before listening to all the songs on the album, you're bound to be disappointed in at least one of the tracks after you've all ready spent your money on it.



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I have a friend and she bosses me around. Sometimes she talks to me in a mean way. Once she asked my why I was talking in a negative voice. I hate that because she acts like she is my mom. I not sure if I even want to be her friend any more. Right now she is one of my best friends. I need a wasy to tell her with out actualy hurting her feeling or making her mad at me. How should I tell her?
Signed,
Angry but sad

First, I would start by telling her something positive. For example, tell her that she is your best friend. Tell her that you do not want to hurt her feelings, because you care.

Then explain that you have a problem, and because you value her friendship, and don't want to lose it, you would like to discuss the problem with her. You are not trying to accuse, blame, or critize her. You are merely seeking a solution to your problem.

Then tell her what the problem actually is.

She might get defensive. Instead of becoming equally defensive, assure her that there is no reason for her to feel like she needs to defend herself. You are not attacking her. Try to remain calm, and simply phrase your feelings in the most gentle and sensitive way.

Best wishes ;)

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here is something i dont understand and i sont know if anyone here understands it. Why are we here just why i dont understand it we were put here by god but why it makes no sense. i mean think we live just so we can die it makes no sense so i dont understan why we would be put here by god it makes no sense because one day we could be alive and the next we could be dead just why.

I believe in God. Furthermore, I believe that God is love and life. Literally. I believe that everyone that is able to love is part of God, and I believe that everything that is alive is also part of God.

I believe that we are here to discover who God is by discovering who we are. For example: I can say that God is Forgiveness. But how do I know? I would only be able to _know_ by experience. How can I experience God as Forgiveness? By having the experience of forgiving someone who has hurt me. If I can forgive someone who has deeply hurt me, whether they have asked for my forgiveness or not, I know that I am a forgiving person. Then I can only marvel, because if I can be so forgiving, and God is infinite, I can only imagine how infinitely forgiving God really is.

Why do I believe that discovering who God is, is why we are here? Because I believe that God is all there really is.

I understand that this may make no sense to you. This idea is pretty abstract and difficult for me to put into words. Furthermore, I could be wrong.

Oh well. I guess I'll just have to keep wondering until I die. Maybe then I'll have an answer.

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I know having bulimia,anorixia or anything like that isnt pleasing to God...but is it considered a sin?

Yes. But so is gluttony. And millions of other little things that we do every day without thinking about it. For example: getting angry when someone cuts us off during rush hour traffic. Or becoming impatient with the person ahead of us McDonald's because they are ordering enough food to feed a small country.

God loves you. I may not be the pope, but I think that I have the authority to say that. God is not going to condemn you for not treating your body well.

What you need to focus on is this: depriving yourself of nutrients isn't healthy. You need to be healthy to function normally. If you have an eating disorder, you need to stop worrying about what God thinks of you and get help. I'm sure that's what God wants. He created food for you to eat it :P

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Ok well here's my problem, my mom is like super christian and I think I wanna follow by the rules of buddah and I want to be boodist! but I still belive in god! I dunno what one to choose. And plus if I do decide to become budist I dont wanna tell my mom! I dont know what to Do! arg! help!

I can only share my experience...

I was raised in a Christian household. When I was about sixteen years old I became very involved in the Christian church. After about two years of being an active member, I suddenly decided that Christianity wasn't for me. I started researching other religions.

I've studied mainly New Age and Wicca. But I've also looked into the Jewish religion, Islam, and Buddism. I came to the conclusion that being a part of an organized religion didn't really matter, what mattered was my relationship with God. I believe a combination of many different religions. I think that the more you know, the more you are able to formulate your own opinion about who God is and the spirit.

If you believe in God, than believe in God. But realize that just because you believe in God, doesn't mean that you can only believe what one group of people say about the Creator. Decide for yourself who you think God is, and how you should worship.

I wouldn't worry about what your mother has to say right now. Instead, research, research, research. Find out what you believe first.

When I told my mother, she wasn't receptive. I tried talking about it with her several times, and what I said seemed to be unacceptable to her. Eventually, I realized that my open-minded beliefs only needed to be shared with other open-minded people. I don't believe that God really cares whether or not my mother accepts what I have to say. So now, I only discuss religion with the members of my family that can agree to disagree.

I hope it goes better for you than it did for me. If not, don't let it get you down. What matters is how you relate to God, not whether or not other people can accept that relation.

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Whenever i have like.. time to myself, i always seem sad, and sometimes even when im with friends, family, or people in groups im in.. i never talk..because.. well im just sad. sometiems there are no reasons, and i always wonder why.. but other times, its because since im adopted.. i never met my parents, and sometimes i just want to meet them so bad that i dream about who i would be if i never got adopted and stuff.. then i start crying... can you help me stop this, or find out.. why???
THANKS IF YOU ANSWER!!

This is a difficult question to answer. But I will try to share what I know...

I'm not really adopted, but my mother divorced my biological father while she was still pregnant. I grew up not knowing my father and missing that relationship even though my step-father cared for me and legally adopted me. I think I have an "idea" of what you might be feeing, though I can't say that I completely understand.

Try to think positively about the situation. When you are eighteen, if you wish, you may seek your biological parents. I don't know how this will go. But either way, it will give you some closure, and closure alone can do you a world of good. Simply for the fact that you will stop wondering.

Until then, remind yourself how much your adopted parents love you. Don't let the relationship that you have with them die because of the absence of your biological parents.

If you are sad sometimes and don't know why, you might benefit from anti-depressants. Ask your family to take you to the doctor, and have a long discussion with your physician. He will be able to diagnosis your problem and prescribe something appropriate. You might have to wride the anti-depressant roller-coaster for a while, different drugs work for different people. But hopefully you'll be able to find something that works for you.

Let me know if you need someone to listen. I'm sorry that I can't be of more help, but I am here. I wish you the best ;) Ja!

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Hey, my family might move from here in Wisconsin to Florida. I want to sooo bad for the weather. But I just can't leave all my friends here. i love em all to death. And my best friend and I are really close and it will be so hard for me to leave her, and everyone else. How can I not miss her so much??

My best friend moved to Florida when we were still in high school. We kept in touch with letters and phone calls. Since you are living in the glorious age of technology, keeping in touch should be easy and cheap. You can email each other and IM frequently.

Just because your moving out of state doesn't mean that your friendship is over. My best friend and I are still close friends, years and years later. It sucks that I can't drive over to her house to hang out, but at least I can still call her and find out what's going on her life.

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I'm going to a banquet later this week and I got my outfit today, but the thing is, I have no idea what to do for my hair or make-up. Just something simple, but cute Any ideas?

(My hair is about shoulder-length and I'm wearing a white tanktop with a cute yellow sweater over it.)

Last time I went to a formal function, I simply curled my hair with a curling iron. My hair is a little past my shoulders and very straight, so it added a lot of body. It made me look...less boring...I also suggest a lot of mousse if your hair is straight and lifeless.

If your skin is less than perfect, try a liquid concealer. After you apply your foundation, use loose powder instead of pressed powder. Loose powder comes in the round containers with screw off lids. Pressed powder comes in the compact. The difference is that loose powder sticks to your foundation better after it is initially applied. Pressed powder is for later in the evening, when you go to the bathroom and notice that your face is all shiny.

And don't be too heavy handed with your blush and eye make-up. Otherwise you might end up looking like a make-up kit exploded in your face :P

Have fun at the banquet ;)

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if you have read the previous post, you'd know how pathethic my love life is (20m never had gf). Anyway, where can i meet a nice girl? And how do i get to know her?

(any nice girl out there?)

I know that finding your soulmate is a frustrating task. Believe me...I _know_ :P

What do you like to do? For example, if you like to read, try joining a book club. Then you will have the opportunity to meet more girls who share your interests. Whatever activity you enjoy, there is sure to be some club or community dedicated to it. So figure out what your interests are and get involved.

I would also suggest trying to involve yourself in groups that are small and meet regularly. I'm shy too, and I tend to be more comfortable talking to people that I see on a regular basis. I also feel more comfortable in small groups because the less people, the better my chances of getting noticed. The more crowded, the more I seem to get ignored.

How do you get to know a girl? First, take it slow. You don't need to actually ask out a girl to get to know her. (And not having to ask her out will take a lot of the pressure off of you.) Introduce yourself. Ask her a lot of questions. Where is she from? What does she do? What are her hobbies? Chances are that once you've talked to a girl several times, you'll feel more comfortable around her and asking her out won't seem like such a monumental task.

And yes, there is always the internet. You could go to eharmony.com. They have a very comprehensve personality test, so your chances of meeting someone compatible with you is greater. I think that the internet is great for the socially challenged. You get to talk to people without having to deal with the pressure of looking them in the eye. And once you do meet them, you'll feel more comfortable because, in a way, you all ready know that person.

Nice girls are out there. (I happen to be one.) The problem is that we don't usually advertise :P We usually don't go to the typical singles hang-outs. You won't catch us in a bar or club very often. You have to look for us where we go. But don't give up. We want you to find us.

Best of luck ;)

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