|
my mom and her fiance.
13-female & i rate high
my mom and her fiance have just decided that they would like to move in together B4 they get married. (which is sometime at the end of this year.) the lease on our apartment is up at the end of may, and my mom wants us (me, her and my lil' bro) to move in with them (him and his two kids). she says that she doesn't want to renew our lease on our house, b/c at the end of the year she would have to buy out of it b/c she will have to break the lease. his house is not big enough for all six of us to live in, so they have been doing some house hunting in his neighborhood. i have two problems with this:
#1. i am not comfortable with moving in with them right now. i don't really know hime or his kids that well.
#2. i don't want to move to his neighborhood, b/c then i would have to change school districts and leave all of my friends behind.
i have went to dinner with him and his kids. (his daughter is the same age as me.) and we try to do something "together" every weekend or every other weekend, but i feel like this is still not enough to make me comfortable with them. how do i tell my mom how i feel w/o hurting her feelings? i know that she deserves someone in her life that makes her happy, but at the same time i think i should have a say-so too. how do i convince her not to move?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Sorry, but there is no convincing a parent. I know you don't want to leve your friends, trust me I know (I had an amazing opportunity to go 2 a better school and i turned it down). You need to tell your mom, "I know you wouldn't do anything you would think would hurt me, but mom, I need more time. Can we rent a place or move-in with Grandma? Because right now, I'm not comfortable with these people and these 'dates' with his daughter don't work." I'm sorry about your situation.
]
You're right, your mom DOES deserve someone to put happiness in her life, but you should have some sort of say in it. I think you should just tell her exactly how you feel, but that maybe once you can get more comfortable with him AND his kids, you'll feel better about it. Tell her that you love the fact that she's found someone to love, but that you wish you could become more comfortable with "his part" of the family before moving in. And maybe throw in that if they do decide to get a house together, that it be in your school district so that you don't lose your friends. Make sure you're polite about it and stuff, and hopefully she will understand! hope i helped
]
You are right. This is not just a big step for your mom, it's a big step for you and your little brother too. I'm sure your mother really loves you, and has considered the circumstances, but at the same time because of her finances it might be difficult for her to stay behind right now.
All you can do is talk to your mom. I'm certain she would be glad to talk with you about the situation if you did. If you are unsure about what to say...Well, what you just said sounded pretty good. You gave your reasons, explained your feelings with out painting anyone in a negative light, and you acknowledged that you understand that her happiness is important.
When I am telling someone something that I know may hurt their feelings, I usually start by telling them how much care I about them, how I understand what they are feeling, and that I know that the situation is difficult for them too. I'm letting them know before I even start that I'm not attacking them, I just want to discuss the problem in a calm, rational manner. I try not to raise my voice, or use any disapproving language. Normally, people respond by listening, because they don't feel like they have to be on the defensive. When they aren't on the defensive, they are usually very understanding, and will try to remain calm and rational as well.
]
ok this is waht i would do you SHOULD talk it out with your mom because you matter and you do deserve a say in it tell her that you dont want to leave your friends behind and move somewhere completely different with people that you are not that close too im sure she will understand i hope my advice helped
]
i can understand why u would not like this idea. you are right, your mom deserves someone. you could try talking to her about how you arent comfortable and maybe she would understand and not move in but still be with him. being happy doesnt consist of moving in with him. <3
]
More Questions: |