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December 22, 2014

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about

I am straight to the point, My advice is given based on my opinions of what YOU write. I may not always tell you what you want to hear but I am not here to sugar coat shit.

I am honest, I am blunt, At times an asshole but one thing I can promise, I'll never lie.

advice

I'm 14 and a female.. I asked a question about 2 months ago about me not sure if I should go to Mexico or not, and well I did go. It was an unforgettable experience. unfortunately my grandmother passed away and my mom and I have been having issues since then. I've always had this anger towards my mom. I try to let it go but the thought of what she did/does makes me sick. A few years back i was a lot younger and my older sister caught her sexting on webcam with a man. I was too young to really be upset but a few months ago she left her phone in my room and she left to the store and I also did something I shouldn't have. I snooped through her phone and saw she was sexting and had pictures of a man's area.. I haven't told her anything, my sister back then did but I didnt want to create the tension that they created before i thought i'd just forget about it but i didnt. its been making us fight so much i get angry for the smallest thing, how can i make ourb relationship better?

Your mother is a grown woman, She has her rights.

You were wrong for going through her phone without her consent. You may not approve of what your mother is doing, but you had no right to invade her privacy.

Reverse this for a moment, Would you want your mother invading in on your personal life? She may be interested in someone, If she is, Who cares. Your mother is old enough to live her life as she pleases. As long as it's not illegal or any harm to you, You should stay out of it.

So I have been talking to this guy for a year off and on. At first when we started talking all we did was make out but as the relationship went on we did more. He ended up giving me head. Recently we were at a park, but we just stayed in his car. We started making out then he started to finger me. My pants ended up off and he ended up giving me head. We hung out a few more times after that but then the last time we hung out he didn't wanna hook up because all we do is kiss. I tried to give him a hand job and all he said was don't unbutton my pants unless you're giving me head. I decided to stop talking to him after that because I realized that maybe this wasn't a real relationship and he was just using me. But we would talk on the phone all of the time and text. But Was he just using me? And is what I did slutty?

You were used, Plain and simple.

Everytime you both hung out, Instead of getting to know each other and spend time together doing things you both enjoy, It always lead to sexual favors. This happened several times, Not once in your paragraph did you say you both spend time together hanging out and enjoying each others company. This is more of a sexual favor thing, If he was into you then he would of cared about YOU and not sexual favors. If you want a relationship then get to know someone, Do fun things together, Talk etc.

This Guy is a real jerk, A guy that cares for you as a person isn't going to try and use you.

i just sent this guy that i liked in the fifth grade this, "hi. i would have said this in 5th grade but i didn't think we were good enough friend but it's probably going to sound even weirder from the computer but, oh well. i thought it was pretty weird that i liked you cause at the same time i liked justin and it was all very weird and confusing at the same time. abby agrees with me on this one but do you think that there was even a remote chance that you maybe liked me even just a little bit? (this is coming from the 5th grade me)". was that stupid?

I would gave comfronted him in a different way, I first would not have used anyone's names.

I would if maybe said something like this;

"Hey, I know this may sound random but I really like you, I am sorry if this is weird for you but I wasn't sure how to approach the situation. Would you be interested in hanging out sometime? "

This is straight to the point without making it a big deal. You said wgat you wanted and left the ball on his side of the court. Now it would be up too him to whether he wabts to continue or not.

My daughter is 4 years old. She has purple eyes. Is this normal? Will this change as she gets older? What does it mean?

She is a special child, Purple eyes are beautiful.

I broke up with my girlfriend and she still loves me, but I don't have any feelings for her and I met someone else who I'm very happy with. I need some good songs to tell my ex that I'm done with her, please help!

Why send her a song? If you don't care then stop looking for a song.

Just be a man, Tell her you have moved on and met someone else and don't want to remain in contact. Looking for a way to hurt someone even more is childish and immature.

I have to notify my office of the complex that I live in about renewing the lease or moving. I only have 6 days to let them know otherwise they charge a huge fee that I cant afford. My fiance and I will be paying 1100 for a 1 bed room in a complex that has a pool gym and tennis court that we barely use. The rent use to be 945 but it goes up depending on the market. In order to move most places require first last and security which could end up being 2000. We dont have that kind of money to come up with. I like where we live but the rent is way to much for the area we live in and for a 1 bedroom. Most places we looked at online that are nice are almost the same price a couple hundred cheaper a month but we would have to pay first and last also expenses to move. Is it better to pay the down payments and have a cheaper rent every month or is it better to not have to pay a down payment and pay the extra every month?

To be honest, 1100 for a one bedroom is a bit outrageous.

I suppose it depends where you live but a 1 bedroom here goes for around 850-950. A 2 bedroom here is about 1100

I dontgo buy luxury of a pool, tennis coyrt etc. It's about what's affordable.

I'd be looking elsewhere

we been together for 4 years lived together for 4 months and things changed since we moved together he shows interest in me we don't make love and when we do he just lays there while i do all the work n it makes me feel like he dosent want me... he says he loves me but he dosent show it 2 me... he goes 2 work comes home takes a shower goes on the computer n forgets im in the same room, he says his tired but i feel neglected he wont give me anymore... so we fight n fight n fight... he does his own thing n i feel like his not ready 2 seatle down because its all about him, we fight over money because he spends way too much and nothing 2 show off 4 im upset because his going away for the weekend 2 a wedding n didnt even asked me 2 go with him... he calls me alot bad names and his upset because i told him lately has been all about himself he cant even make me finnish... I find myself very lost, hurt and at times down right depressed.This relationship is taking its toll on me...I don't know how much he loves me, not when he acts like this. I don't know how to explain to him I need more stability in our relationship. I want to stay, and love him but he always saying you dont like my ways then live, his just not concerned about what im feeling. I never want to leave but this crazy relationship is One that is slowly wearing on me. I don't know how to reach him when he goes into this dark place, his anger, his sadness and I'm affraid that ill lose this very sweet loving side of me if I continue to go through this. I am hopeful, I am faithful and I see the good in all things and people but the negativity makes me loose my faith n my strenght too keep fighting for this relationship.. I don't want to become bitter or defensive. I don't want to become damaged. I don't want to become someone incapable of loving. I have been an emotional wreck. i want him 2 support me, be a friend, a lover, and be there for when i need him... his actions makes me feel like he dosent care about my opinions or how i feel. i feel like he dosent want to be in it like i am. his trying to live a single life and that dosent work when we are in a relationship.. im concerned and he dosent understand that we should be in together and we are not... we are in a living situation now is different things change

This isn't a relationship sweetie.

Relationships aren't one sided, He isn't communicating. It takes work from both partners and strong communication to have a healthy relationship.

When someone says "If you don't like my ways then leave" THey have poor communication skills and fail to care to work at fixing the problem. He isn't affectionate, he doesn't seem to care about your feelings and he is treating you like an object. It isn't healthy and I believe you should find someone else who will treat you right. Staying with him is going to burn every energy and wear you down. Time to leave

When I started high school I've been with this very large group of 9 people. But then the group slip into two because of some fight. I hung out with one of these sub-groups for a while but then, I became close friends with someone from the other group and well- eventually I started hanging out with her group a lot more.

Then, when I noticed that I had dumped my friends. I can back but when I did- I was already a stranger. I had no idea what and who they were talking about and no longer know anything about them.

My presence became so small among them. No one hears me when I talk and they all forget about me.
I try really hard to fit back in but today was the breaking point. I can't believe I have to talk really loud for my voice to be heard.

There's a new girl- she fit into them so easily when I've been trying for over a year. They take pictures with each other but not me. They even had a group photo and I wasn't sure if I should join in.

They invited me to go out with them and I see it as an opportunity to bond with them but- they're all inviting their boyfriends. I hardly know those boys and I don't have one of my own! Not to mention- I'm already left out among them so I don't think I will feel comfortable going. But not going might make the situation worse.

I try hanging out with my close friend's group but they're not the type I want to hang out with. One person has a very bad personality and we've already fought once. And I'm still out of place with the others. They won't invite me to place because I'm seen as a member of the other group.

Can you guys help me?

Unfortunately high school is full of stereotypes and drama. Friends come and go, We find new friends and develop new groups.

When I was in 8th grade, I had a lot of friends. Once I hit high school, We all completely fell out and went our separate ways. I met new friends but even from freshmen to senior, My friends changed drastically. It just happens

Long story short, I held a few close friends after high school but eventually we drifted apart.

So basically things like this happen. You just have to find people who except you and acknowledge your presence. This group doesn't seem to value you but rather string you along like a 3rd wheel.

I am my late 20's, I am no longer friends with anyone from high school. I went on and made friends through work and college. Life goes on

Is it safe to pet stray cats?

My apartment complex has a little mascot... a stray cat that roams the grounds that they keep food out for. I run into him a few days a week and he's super friendly.

I'm just wondering if it's safe to pet him?

Is there anything he can have that would linger with me even if I washed my hands afterward?

Depends

Most cats who are infected with rabies aren't exactly friendly. They are usually distant and show more aggressive behavior.

Most of my cats I have owned were originally strays. I took them to the vet got them spayed and updated on their shots. My last cat was a stray, She was about 7 when I found her. This cat lived to be 23 years! I have had many cats (some of them were my parents ) and they were stray. Made the best house pets! Just remember, Cats sometimes have fleas. Even so, A bath or frontline takes care of it. :-)

I'm sorry this is a bit of a long read :3

My best friend, let's call her Z, is really pissing me off. I am known as the "nerdy, cute, gamer" girl (that's just who I am). There is a guy who has a crush on me (I kind of like him but I'm not sure), and she tries to get close to him just because she knows he likes me (she doesn't have a crush on him, I'm sure)! Every time in front of him, she acts like she is also a "nerdy, cute, gamer" type of girl when she's not at all! She always starts conversations online like, "oh sorry, i was gaming" (PLAYING GTA ONE TIME DOESN'T MAKE YOU A GAMER!!). In front of me, when I say something with words she doesn't understand or a character that's "too nerdy" for her to know, she just says she doesn't know what I'm talking about. But in front of others, she pretends she understands everything. She seems to do this in front of every group of people, in front of the populars, she acts popular, in front of the emos, she acts emo. She's always trying to establish herself as a certain "type", and it's different in front of different people! I love her to death, but she's really getting on my nerves?

Sounds to me she is a little on the fake side and is trying to be something she's not to seek approval and acceptance. Have you spoken to her about this? Tell her you noticed she ia changing, Assure her you like her as a friend for who she is. It would irritate me as well if my friend was being fake... frankly, If someone was flirting in front of a giy I liked just because she knew I liked him, I'd think she's jealous.

Sounds to me like she wants attention. She seems to be jealous of you because a guy is interested in you. You need to talk to her, If she doesn't want to fix her flaws then it may be time to back off.

I recently got into a relationship with my bestfriend. Before we dated in a week he broke up wit his girlfriend. They were initially having problems bit i cant help but feel bad and guilty because i think im part of the reason he broke up with her. Now this girl is contacting my friends and shes getting to know them because hes not with her anymore.It irritates me that shes doing that. What should i do on the whole situation?

Ignore it

She's acting like a jealous bitch and has to find some way to get back at you. It's highly immature, She is looking to tick you off.

Be the bigger person, Be the more mature one and don't scoot down to her level. If your friends are really friends then they will have enough common sense to know not to listen to her drama. If they do, Then you learned they aren't real friends. Ignore her, Don't give her what she wants.

I married by faith an now have a child of 11 months.My husband and me both of us are member of a ministry of Teaching Gospel 1:1. before my marriage I somehow knew that he had some debt but i had to marry him as I received revelation from God that he is the man for me. Personally i did not like him and prayed god plz change your will.But ultimately I surrendered to him and married that person. Now everyday my life is under pressure of moneylenders. Everyday I start with a heavy heart and spend maximum time in prayer. Everyday I pray that God I may see my husband safe when he comes back from office.With believe that God will open the way for us I am praying and waiting. But its almost 1 Year under pressure everyday...........I am now tired and do not know what to do. PLZ.........if anyone can guide me.......Thanks

I admire your faith, But in some cases praying only goes so far.

Unfortunately, You have been dealing with this for a year. It hasn't gotten better... If you husband is deep in debt then he can try to sort out this matter by speaking with a lawyer or someone who can work with hom to help cut the debt or work out a payment plan.

The way it works, If you marry someone with debt issues it can affect the debt of both parties. You stated when you married that you did not like your husband. Why did you marry him? G!D does not change people, People change themselves. This situation can put a heavy burden on you. You married someone you dislike and are facing financial debt. Please tell your husband to make an appointment with someone who handlea debt, This may be the only real thing of helping.

I'm 17 and she's 15 we do it(have sex) every week once, I do NOT put my penis COMPLETELY inside her because it reaches like sort of a layer thing in there so I'm afraid not to break that layer maybe blood might come out! But I did ask and they said "since you can put your penis inside her then she's not a virgin" but guys! we NEVER EVER saw any blood after I put my penis inside her for FIRST time! Isn't BLOOD! supposed to come out if it's the first time anybody ever puts his finger AND penis inside her vagina!? or no,blood comes out after I completely put my penis and break that layer inside?

-ThankYou.
High Fives to all like usual xD

I never bled when I lost my virginity so I doubt it applies to everyone. Everyone is different

how can I stop the pain

There are many things that can cause eye pain

Lack of sleep
Stye
Depression
Stress
Dry eyes
Pink eye

Also one of the most common, Staring at a television or a computer for long periods of time.

Okay so Im 13 and I once dated this 17 year old. He found out I cut and now we got in a really big fight and hes planning to tell everyone :( him ans his friend are really smart and qould do anything to get back at me pls help me

He's immature and wants attention

No offense to you but you shouldn't be dating someone that is 17 years old.

It drama, Just ignore it. Think about it, He is going around telling everyone you cut. Immature isn't it? So at the end of the day who is the fool? He is.

You didn't do anything, The only person that looks like the ass is usually the one who starts it. Be mature, Ignore it and stay away from the jerk.

Hi. About 6 months back I found that my husband had an emotional affair. I confronted him and he claimed is not true. later I found proof that he in fact was emotionally attached to a woman who was also married. It turned into an ugly fight and we were seperate for a month. He asked me to return for the sake of our children. He had still not acknowledged nor apologised for his cheating. I can't sleep at times thinking about this. I start crying mid day when no one is at home.
He still had contact with her but for completely different reasons,and I believe it 100%. But I cannot believe and accept the fact that he was emotionally intimate with another woman. I don't know how to forget and foregive him. We are back in our relationship now but I always feel that my marriage has no meaning.
He is generally not a communicative person and this has put me in a miserable position. Your advice on this is appreciated.

I believe staying with someone for the sake of your children is the wrong reason to stay with someone. Although childreb come first in many circumstances, When it comes to relationships and marriages YOU must put yourself first. Meaning, It is not required that you stay in a marriage for children when your miserable. Children wouldn't benefit much from an unhappy parent.

Unfortunately, You stated your husband doesn't communicate much is this could be a key to a failing marriage. He cheated, He broke your trust. Sweetie, You may need to cry until you learn to accept he isn't worth it. I don't believe in forgiving a cheater. He put his marriage at saje and his children. If he wanted to make it work for the children....he should of thought about that a long time ago.

I wouldn't do it

A few weeks ago a teacher left my school and, as I was very close to him, I got him a thank you card (he's helped my an awful lot over the past year - almost acting as a psychologist for me). When I gave him the card he said that he'd open it when I wasn't there if I wanted (I told him he could open it then). I didn't think much of it but then my friend came in and gave him a card and he just opened it straight away without saying anything.

I didn't think much of it at the time but then I was talking to my friend a few days ago and she said that sounded a bit weird. Now I'm really worried about what he'd thought I'd written in the card or something... And thinking back he's said other things to me like 'you hide a lot' and 'is there anything you want to tell me'.

I'm just very confused and don't want him to think bad of me. It's been really bugging me the last day or two and I feel stupid for not noticing beforehand when he was still at school and I could talk to him about it.

Nowadays the "little" things always turn into "big" things.

Not many students give out thank you cards, Although it was a kind gesture, It could of given your teacher the wrong impression or made him uncomfortable.

Sometimes it's best to just be a good student, Do your work and not say anything. Nowadays society is full of assumptions and accusations.

First of all, my husband has many excellent qualities. He works very hard, is a great provider, and a loving, hands on father to our three kids. But, he was sexually abused as a preteen by a family friend. His parents were never really around, and he was supposed to be homeschooled but really only has the equivalent of an 8th grade education. He has worked hard to overcome this and owns a successful business. He had a horrible upbringing, and I know that is the reasoning for many of his actions. First of all, he drinks everyday. He doesn't drink and drive, and he doesn't go to bars, but he unwinds each night with a few vodka and cranberries. I feel like he uses this to cope with painful memories and to help deal with the stress of life. At cooksouts or special occasions though, he tends to overdo it and becomes very loud and obnoxious. This has caused a lot of tension between us. Finally, I feel like he has no patience with me. He literally blows up at me for things that I think are small and trivial, but to him....they are huge. In his words, he says I "....jump in his shit." For example, if we are at a cookout, and he has too much to drink, I might pull him aside and say, "You need to tone it down....you are getting really loud." Then, he will literally blow up at me. He doesn't do it out loud though right then and there, he will wait until we are home and alone and start screaming. Or he will start texting me things like, "I hate you....I wish you were dead." etc. I guess my question is....I want to stay married. I really do and I value his great qualities. But, I feel hurt when he says such hateful things to me. And, I feel like he should be able to cope with small, trivial issues better than he does. I try to tell him that he gets upset about the smallest things and there is really no reason to start a 3 day long fight over one statement I make at a cookout. I told him it's fine to be upset at me for saying it, but don't tell me you hate me and you wish I were dead. He has no patience with me at all and I'm getting exhausted from these blowups. How can I get my husband to realize that it's not worth blowing up at me for such small things?

Sounds like he may need alcohol anonymous or rehab.

Unfortunately, Your husband seems to have a drinking and anger problem. You may want to sit him down with a few family members and explain that he needs to get some help.

Hi , I have a really big problem , every time I walk into my room there are a minimum of 6 flies on my window . I have no idea where they come from & I need to know how to get rid of them ASAP

What kind of flies? Big/Small?

Do you have food laying around anywhere? Trash, Dirty Clothes? These can attract bugs. Do you have fruit in the house? Are they fruit flies?

Worse case senerio you may want Mom/Dad to bomb the house. (Set off cans that will kill bugs) This will kill anything in the house flies, eggs etc.

I am 17 and don't know so can a 17 yr old get prego? I need to know because I want to have sex...

Yes if you aren't careful abd use proper protection

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