Let your mom meet him. What could it hurt? Do your best to get along with your mom, not for her; for yourself! It will be better for you if you can help soften the static in the relationship. Your mom probably wants to share in your life, you are her daughter. Sometimes moms and daughters are equally hard-headed, but give her a chance to see what you see in your guy.

Of course there is nothing wrong with masterbation and everyone does it or has done it...some people do very little else. It is her right to be a protective mom and she has the right to install the porn blocker. This will not stop you from pleasuring yourself to orgasm. People survived without porn for thousands of years and masterbated without it. I am sure you will not have any trouble. The shower is a good place where you can have privacy and clean up afterwards. You are still in your mom's memory as the child she has nurtured since birth and that is a strong bond. She wants the best for you, and wants you to be happy, but put yourself in her shoes. Would you want to walk in and see her getting it on? Gross, right? She freaked out only like any mother would. You are in that awkward stage between childhood and manhood. Take it like a man, and don't act like a child about all this nonsense. An adult thinks beyond themselves and considers the feelings of others. You are going to to have to respect her on this one.

Eating 6 smaller meals is healthy if you are getting the proper variety and nutrition out of your food choices. Too much of anything is not going to be beneficial in the long run. Fruit, yogurt and tuna are great, but veggies, whole grains, and other choices will help you stay healthy. Your body is still developing in the teen years and even in your twenties growth takes place. Don't ever jeopardize your health to lose weight by eating too little, that is a dark road to start and one that ends in death for many people. Also, most women do not get enough protein...we tend to crave carbs, it is our biology. Your doctor can tell you more, but there are nutritional web sites that can give you a headstart. Here is a good one:
http://extension.usu.edu/files/foodpubs/teens.pdf

I just want to add that although I understand the desire to have unprotected sex, you are really taking chances even in a long relationship. Often people are not completely aware or their partner's history and many people feel uncomfortable "telling all," so much is omitted. You may have less risk than some, but even a little risk could be serious. Many relationships end because one partner sleeps with someone else who they leave you for or they have one-nighters and try to hide them. Then you would be getting all the potential diseases the other person might be carrying through your "safe" partner. I hope this is never the case with you and he, but life is so not perfect. There are other reasons for the man to wear a condom including pro-longing his erection and putting of climax if you want his to last longer. Condoms can be fun and come in a variety of colors, glo in the dark, textures, and some thinner varieties if he wants more feeling. Plus, they make a great addition to any other birth control you are on, for really annilating the chance of unwanted pregnancy. I wish you the best.

There is no trying, just doing. If you want to move on then do it. Make some decisions and stick to them. It sounds like you cannot really let go and feel insecure about being on your own. This is really dangerous, because it will lead you to settle for less in life and become unhappy and resentful. You need to know that you can be alone and happy. It won't be forever, but you need to heal and get on with your own life away from guys who you do not have a future with. Leave them alone and begin living as a whole person who does not require another human to fill your voids. We all want love, but it won't really be love until you can learn to care for and love yourself. Respect yourself enough to move on.

It is human and we humans enjoy looking and being looked at...I can't say it is wrong or right, it just is. Your boyfriend is looking and enjoying being looked at, too.

Wow, give someone a very tiny bit of power and they overestimate themselves and why they have it.
I guess it goes with the territory, and happens to everyone, so don't sweat it. There is often an idiot questioner among the others asking about white balloon prices or some other silly nonsense and will give a three to feel empowered.

First off, I rate your question a three. Ha-Ha!White? I'm curious as to why white...what it stands for. Write about what it means to you...a poem presented sincerely costs nothing and could be worth more to the person you are thinking about than a room full of gifts.

Actions tell the truth. Words do not always carry weight. It sounds like you have been there for him and he used you when he needed a friend. He has no use for you anymore, so he is ignoring you. It sounds life he is too much of a coward to tell you he does not want to be together anymore, so he is treating you badly, hoping you will take the hint or break it off yourself. Guys hate confrontation and the cowards are the worst. Don't waste anymore time on this one. Ignore him long enough and he might miss you, but a leopard does not change his spots...so it goes.

I think that sucks. Is there anyone else going that you know that you could get a ride with? If not, tell them to take pictures for you...:(. Life has many disappointments, but it isn't the end of the world. If you have been having problems with grades and getting along, I hope you can get support in the areas you are trying to improve. You will have many more opportunities in life to go where you want to go and the freedom and power to get there. Remember that your education is a big part of what can give you that power, so do it for yourself. This is your life.

Well, the face is usually the first place to show fat loss, which for many people is a bummer. You may just have a round shaped face and not as much fat as you think? Not knowing your age, I am guessing you are young and can tell you that age will thin your face. Most people look older with a thinner face, so it may be a big blessing to have a little extra to start with. Remember, you want to be and look healthy, not skinny. Don't screw up your metabolism and health by starving or skipping meals. Female? Males actually prefer a little more rather than a little less fat on women. Also, make-up applied correctly to shade your cheekbones can "slim" your face. Necklines should be long and V-neck to help your face appear longer and leaner and overall you will look taller. Congratulations on the overall results you have achieved, and be happy and healthy.

Porn is highly addictive. Is your boyfriend using it more and more? Is he wanting sex with you less because of the porn fascination? If so, then he may be getting addicted. This is a huge problem for a lot of couples and has even led to divorce. It is normal to be turned on by nudity and sexual acts, but it is not normal or healthy to replace the doing with the viewing of sex. Tell him how you feel and judge by his response. You cannot tell him what to do, but if your feelings are less important to him than watching porn, I'd say leave him and his hand.

You should not have to go through this and it sucks. Your mom has some problems and she is not right to do this to you. Of course you are exhausted and hurt and overwhelmed. Anyone would be. This is going to be hard to deal with even if you get help, but I want you to try. Talk to your school counselor about your home life and ask them for help. Your grades are about you and your future. It is a cry for help when your grades go downhill, but your mom is deaf. You are not being dramatic, you are being attacked and feeling attacked and you need to find a way to lessen that. When your mom starts something, she is putting a worm on a hook and wriggling it in front of you. Don't take her bait. She is most likely reenacting the way her mom treated her as a child...unfortunately, and it is a selfish and effortless thing to do as a parent. No one is perfect and I am sure she believes that she is right and that she loves you, but that she is not willing to examine herself or accept any criticism.

obviously you have had good advice to end the wedding plans and the relationship completely. I will add that you also must be suffering from low self-esteem and need to make a new start. Counseling could be very healthy for you and help you through this rough time of healing. It is very unhealthy for you to even consider staying with a person who is abusive, and I am worried that you might repeat this pattern if it goes unchecked. Do you have other controlling people in your life, people who have abused you or parents who told you what to do or think or believe? This is your time to reclaim yourself and your life. Surround yourself only with people who respect and support your decision. This will be a long road, but the alternative is the scary one you have been led down and will end badly. I wish you every blessing in life. You are worth more than gold and you are a precious woman who will not be treated like an unloved pet.

Was your dad used to being fed and cared for by your mom. This may not be about money, but about fulfilling an emotional need. If you can afford to treat the father in your life, then do it happily. Refuse to take part in fighting, and do not argue about it. Is your dad cheap in general? Is his personality stingy or does he offer any services or anything to help out that is not about the money? Is he a good grandpa and father? If he is a good man in general I would give him the respect he deserves. I don't care how either of you "were raised," because it has nothing to do with the choices the two of you make in your own life. Do what you feel good about doing and tell your husband that this is how you demonstrate affection toward the only other man in your life you will ever love. It is disrespectful and unloving to you when your husband throws this in your face or compares your dad to his parents or says he hates him! Your husband may be jealous of something here...to be that resentful. This is an issue that must be let go by both of you...since you are the one who may have the bigger understanding on this one, you must be the one to let it go first and not let him pull you into a fight. You can say that you understand how he feels and leave it at that. If your finances are truly suffering for feeding dad out, then make a compromise with your hubbie and just treat him to homecooked meals...of course, I would still take dad out for lunch or ice-cream once in awhile without hubbie.

No. See it's the same answer only much less thought and effort and not "over the top" as you complained about.

Yes, pride is a lonely companion and a heavy burden that often teams up with regret. Go back knowing why you should be there and how you want to be perceived. Be friendly and confident and take responsibility for anything you might have done to contribute to the hard feelings. Life is too short to quit what you love. Feelings are temporary and even enemies can choose to become friends over time. There is some Toltec wisdom by Don Miguel Ruiz, a Shaman, in his book, THE FOUR AGREEMENTS. They are thus:
1.Be impeccable with your word...truthful in love.
2.Don't take anything personally.
3.Don't make assumptions.
4.Always do your best.
These sound simple, but are challenging in the real day to day. Meditate on these and you will find a way to get to where you want to be.

Whether or not you go beyond the boundaries of friendship with a male or female, I think the friendship will change. This experimentation could be a one-time thing, something you just got carried away with, or a new direction you could choose to take with your sexuality. Our bodies and minds are connected, but they also can be separate. Physically you can be sexually turned on by someone's touch who is not even your type. The body responds to touch. You could have an orgasm just as you could be tickled by either a guy or gal, someone you like or not. Being physically able to arouse and be aroused does NOT make you anything, but human. Of course, our minds and emotions play a huge part in our sexuality, and we have to listen to all our being to decide and know how we identify ourselves in any aspect, sexual identity is only one part of our whole self. Sometimes just the newness of something makes it exciting, and you are young and have many years to grow and develop your adult self. If you want to label yourself as bi-sexual it is your choice, however I do not think it is necessary. Labels are subjective and assuming and often too general. If you enjoy women as much as men and could see yourself dating and having relationships with both being just as enjoyable, then you would definately have reason to label yourself a bi-sexual. You are not the first young woman to ask me this same thing and it is common to be experimental and questioning yourself at your age...I don't know if you are bi-sexual, but you are normal.

While it is an invasion of privacy, you need to keep it in perspective before confronting your parents. Who does the computer belong to? Are you paying rent or living in your parents house for free? Do you know for sure she read it? All of it? Why? At seventeen and living at home you are legally still a child and they do not need permission to read whatever is on their own household computer. Also, your personal conversation was about your guy friend's girlfriend. The girlfriend might see you talking to her boyfriend as an insult to their privacy. It is all about perspective here, and parents are usually thinking in terms of protection, not in getting their jollies from their teens little dramas and conversations. Talk to them and tell them how you feel, but don't get cocky about it.

The problems you have might be able to be worked out or not, but we don't know until they are addressed. If you can talk with someone you trust, an adult family member or teacher, counselor, even a social-worker, then do it. If there is alcoholism or drug use or violence or abuse of any kind in the home, then you need to get help immediately. If things are not that serious, but you just are not getting along, then you need to try to hang on and be patient. Make friends, try to take some positive steps in your life to brighten your chances for a future. You will be an adult with many responsibilities in a few short years. How are you doing in school? Your education will be one very important step towards having freedom and the power to come nearer to what you want in life. Whatever you do today will change your life tomorrow...make the most of your opportunities. Having a boyfriend can fill a partial void in your life, but there are more important and lasting goals to give your time and energy into. Don't do it for anyone but yourself and take nothing for granted.

"Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable. To say something you value deeply to another and to have him or her value it equally by listening to it carefully and apppreciatively is the most universal way of exchanging social interest or demonstrating affection." David Augsburger, CARING ENOUGH TO HEAR AND BE HEARD.


All sincere persons will be given thoughtful examination and reply. Please be specific about your situation as it applies to your question, the applicable information and facts necessary for me to properly assess your situation and give you the benefit of my knowledge and experience, which includes: experience/education with mentoring, relationship study, self help, spirituality, poetry, literature, philosophy, psychology, color theory, teaching, parenting, and debate that will be used to your advantage. I am concerned with offering an objective and realistic perspective more than ratings, because this will help YOU. Artificial sweetness is found in diet soda, not in my advice. If you feel that I did not understand your question or need more specifics to help, please let me know, but while all truth is subjective, questioners should be mature enough to hear answers not necessarily agreed with. If you are only looking for someone to tell you just what you want to hear, then you may not be ready for my advice. I believe in personal responsibility, self and other awareness and your power and ability to recreate and redirect your own life. All our misery and joy begins and ends within ourselves, but our willingness to be open can bring the positive or negative energy we seek. If you or someone you know is open to positive help, the resources and caring individuals needed are available now.

http://www.coolnurse.com/

http://www.4woman.gov/violence/

http://www.childhelpusa.org/about/programs-and-services/childhelp-national-child-abuse-hotline-1-800-4-a-child

drug/alcohol abuse help go here: http://www.4drugabuse.com/addiction-treatment.html

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/1800-273-TALK(8255)
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. If you need help, please dial 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You will be routed to the closest possible crisis center in your area. With over 120 crisis centers across the country, our mission is to provide immediate assistance to anyone seeking mental health services. Call for yourself, or someone you care about. Your call is free and confidential. -----------------------------------

http://www.kidscrisis.com/

http://www.teenadviceonline.org/gethelp/numbers.html

You can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline, operated by RAINN, 24 hours a day, free & confidential. 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

For info. on birth control etc.
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

The Girls and Boys Town National Hotline is the only hotline that children and parents can call with any problem at any time:
Open 24-hours a day, every day at 1-800-448-3000

Spanish-speaking counselors available; translation services for 100+ languages

TTY line available for the hearing-impaired at 1-800-448-1833

Counselors can help find services and agencies in the callers' local community

Help at the End of the Line
Callers talk to highly-trained, professional counselors who listen and give "right now" answers. They're sympathetic people who have expertise dealing with these and other problems:

depression

suicide

running away

parenting problems

relationship concerns

physical, sexual, and emotional abuse

chemical dependency

mental health

anger

aggressive behavior

Toll Free
Operated by Father Flanagan's Boys' Home, hotline services are free of charge to every parent and child in all 50 states, the District of Columbia, U.S. territories, and Canada.

Toll-Free: 1-800-448-3000

http://www.sex-ed101.org/links.html

http://www.anorexicweb.com/anorexicweb.html

Report Child Abuse
Childhelp USA National Child Abuse Hotline
1-800-4-A-CHILD TDD: 1-800-2-A-CHILD



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All our motivations stem from two: Love or Fear. When in turmoil or indecision, ask yourself from which of these you are acting. If you want an honest response outside of yourself, you need to first be honest within yourself. Bless you on your journey!

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