Well, I'm 16/male, and my mom caught me, uh... masterbating today. She just watched as I pulled my pants up and the porn was still playing. Fuck, I feel really embarassed now. She was already a paranoid mom (without any reason to be one) and it pisses me off to no end, sometimes I just start screaming and cursing at her because she wont leave me the fuck alone and its getting old. Now she wont even let me close my fucking doors because she thinks im gonna do it again! (and shes installing a porn-blocker). I never was close with my mom, and I don't feel comfortable talking to her about ANYTHING, but it's still pretty damn embarassing. It's just masterbating and porn, but she flips out if I see one chest on TV! What should I do - aside fromt talking to her?
Additional info, added Thursday July 5 2007, 12:46 pm: Lol I'm not concerned about the porn, I can live without it :/ I just was being as descriptive as possible.. Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Families? tony1pup answered Monday October 12 2009, 10:09 pm: you wanna kno something? tell her to shove it! people have to masterbate sometime in life, && its not a sin or anything so she shouldnt care, she just doesnt wanna feel awkward infront of you because she seen you do it once, && she doesnt wanna see it again, but what i would do it just slam my door, && fucking blair that porn && yell shit. lmaoooo!, im telling you, parents piss me the fuck off, but i do it when everyones sleeping, but my mom has to sleep in the same room as me, but i still masterbate, && im a girl so, im not scared of her, or scared that shes gunna hear me, because people have to do that sometime in there life, so i just do it. thats fucking stupid tho, you should be able to do that.
sugarplum07 answered Thursday July 5 2007, 12:39 pm: Your mother will always think that you are her little baby and she hopes that she is the only woman you will ever need in your life. Catching you doing that gives her the sad realization that you are growing up and you are starting to have needs and urges that have nothing to do with her anymore.
You mother fails to realize that masturbation is a normal and healthy thing for all teenagers. Whether she'll admitt it or not, she did/does that stuff too (I'm sure you didn't want to hear that but it's true).
Don't be embarassed. Maybe you should remind her that it's YOUR body. Ask if she'd rather you be out getting some girl pregnant or doing that?
You NEED to talk to your mom about privacy. Don't jump to drastic measures and insist a lock is put on your door, but maybe make a sign for your door that says "knock please" or "do not disturb." The sign doesn't just have to be for when you're masturbating, either. I'm sure there are lots of times when you just need to be by yourself and not be bothered.
You are 16 years old and you deserve some privacy. Since you feel uncomfortable talking to your mom, maybe express your concerns to your dad or an adult you trust. Then perhaps the three of you could talk together. [ sugarplum07's advice column | Ask sugarplum07 A Question ]
BitsandPieces answered Thursday July 5 2007, 12:34 pm: Of course there is nothing wrong with masterbation and everyone does it or has done it...some people do very little else. It is her right to be a protective mom and she has the right to install the porn blocker. This will not stop you from pleasuring yourself to orgasm. People survived without porn for thousands of years and masterbated without it. I am sure you will not have any trouble. The shower is a good place where you can have privacy and clean up afterwards. You are still in your mom's memory as the child she has nurtured since birth and that is a strong bond. She wants the best for you, and wants you to be happy, but put yourself in her shoes. Would you want to walk in and see her getting it on? Gross, right? She freaked out only like any mother would. You are in that awkward stage between childhood and manhood. Take it like a man, and don't act like a child about all this nonsense. An adult thinks beyond themselves and considers the feelings of others. You are going to to have to respect her on this one. [ BitsandPieces's advice column | Ask BitsandPieces A Question ]
Michele answered Thursday July 5 2007, 12:30 pm: Well, her worst fears have been realized. The exact thing that she was hoping to prevent, she caught you doing. And hey, I have two teenage boys, and yes I assume that they do masterbate, and it doesn't bother me. But when I was young, (many years ago, it would have bothered my mother.) Well she can't prevent you from masterbating at other times, after all she is going to fall asleep at some point. But she can block the porno and I think it is a good idea. It is not that it is bad to look at beautiful naked women, that desire is normal, but some of that stuff on the internet is just plain disgusting. Your mom, or YOU should be concerned about you becoming TOO engrossed in porno that you are unable to have a normal relationship with a woman when you are an adult. Most women in real life cannot compare with someone who is made up and has sexy clothing, and who is "acting" like you are the most important person in the world (al the while getting PAID for it, etc. etc.) It is just not like "real life". An intimate and loving and mutually respectful relationship is what most grown ups have. We hop that is what you will have some day. MAsterbating won't intefere with that, but porno on the internet could. Because it has broken up a number of marriages alread. (this is not news.) You say you don't want to talk to your mother so how do you get the message across that you ARE normal, and plan to grow up and have a NORMAL relationship, etc. etc.
Most likely you won't get the porn back, but at some point, she may let you close the door again.
I think the best thing to do is to find outside activities that interest you , and when you start to show an interest in other things and people, and NOT the computer, perhaps she will relax her vigilance.
BY the way,your mom is probably just as embarrassed as you are, and she also has no idea how to talk to you about it. But if she could, I think she would give you the advice I just did.
Good luck to you.
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