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ex issue
So I have an ex that's in Cali. for training to be in the army.I talked to him for the first time today since months ago.We broke up end of October.After dumping me for his ex.. that lasted less than a month then he tried to get back with me and I denied his offer.He tried for a long time and then he finially gave up, and I was talking to a guy.I ended up with him and he is currently with his girlfriend who he dumped me for.Supposively she's pregnant and their getting married in July.Which is ridiculous because she might not be pregnant.I mean, he has his doubts and today I told him to do whatever will make him happy.He understands , but then again, he's a coward.For one, he hit her.Which is wayy off the line.Which was a while back when he went to his ex after me.Anyways, he told me he called me because they drowned him and they told them to call whomever they think changed their life in some way and had feelings for.And he thought of me.And he told me a flash memory of us when he asked me out.By then, I was like... oh god.. and he stopped telling me details of what he could remember.He also told me that he admitted to his current that he still loved me and that kills her to hear that.And he gets angry when she's talks her stuff about me, which then he sticks up for me when he doesn't even talk to me or have any communication with me.I couldn't admit to him that I miss him or love him.That would be wrong of me to do when I have a boyfriend.And tried to ask me If I missed him and I said I wasn't going to answer that.And he also asked if I ever thought about him and he added that I came to mind every once in awhile to see what I was doing, if I was drinking , am I happy.So I told him obviously because I called him.( I called him a few days ago not knowing he was in Cali for the army., but he didn't answer) And I hate admitting at all that I even had thought about him.I really don't know what to do in the situation though.It's really hard.So I went to the movies with my boyfriend tonight and I called my ex back later on when I got back..I'm not sure why.He told me to call when I wanted or whatever.And he answered shocked and he couldn't understand why I called back, which he thought I wouldn't talk to him again.But yeahh.. I just don't know what to do.I don't want to do anything to hurt my boyfriend and our relationship.I've been with him for almost 3 months.I don't even know what I'm asking.Sorry for being so long.So I guess I'm asking what do I do in this situation.I wouldn't ever go back to my ex.He did me wrong and he knows it and he even told me what he did wrong.Soo.... yeah.I'm just trying to move on..
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It sounds to me like you never got closure with your ex. He needs to know that you're with someone else now and that you're happy. Let him know that you hope you finds happiness too but that you have moved on. You can still talk to him if you want, but I don't really see the point.
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There is no trying, just doing. If you want to move on then do it. Make some decisions and stick to them. It sounds like you cannot really let go and feel insecure about being on your own. This is really dangerous, because it will lead you to settle for less in life and become unhappy and resentful. You need to know that you can be alone and happy. It won't be forever, but you need to heal and get on with your own life away from guys who you do not have a future with. Leave them alone and begin living as a whole person who does not require another human to fill your voids. We all want love, but it won't really be love until you can learn to care for and love yourself. Respect yourself enough to move on.
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Wow, this is a complicated situation you've gotten yourself into.
My advice would be to stick with your current boyfriend. I'm not going to list my reasons because you know what your ex did was horrible and what he's doing to his current girlfriend is horrible as well. You don't want to get involved with a guy like that.
What I would do is not call him. It just seems to cause drama. However, if he calls you, talk to him. But do like you're doing and don't ever let him think you still have feelings for him. Tell him you just want to be friends. Don't lead him on.
I don't know if your boyfriend knows about all this, but if he doesn't I think it would be best to tell him. It's not good hiding things from the person you're with. Even if it doesn't seem like a big deal and you aren't doing anything wrong, let your guy know what's been happening and how you feel about it so he understands and isn't threatened by your ex.
Eventually you'll move on completely and so will your ex. These things take time. But never trust him as much as you used to, even if you're just friends. Don't let your guard down around him because if he hit his current girlfriend, you don't know what he will do to someone who refuses to go out with him again when he says he loves them that much.
I just think you should pretty much keep doing exactly what you're doing.
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