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my fucked up life going straight down
im back again sadly...see if you know.my life hasnt went up only down hill. i went across the world and i just had the worst breakdown ever so far but mentally not physically. i tried so hard to cut i couldnt take it i wanted to die on the spot. all i had was my camera, their was absoluty no sharp objects. no computer, nowhere and nothing to write, no music, no tv, not even my own room. their was nothing i had to leave. i just started running...jumped off our porch, kept running. i hate my family they only made it worse. i was ready to run then my dad started showing my brother all my pictures i took laughing saying all thats wrong...i wanted to knock them out cold right there but i just sat on the couch after yelling louder then ever and got in the biggest fight ever. then i ran. half a day later i came back only for a new battery but i stayed. did they care, no. i was takeing pictures. then when i got back it started again i tried cutting i guess but deep with my sharp nails till i bleed. then with cacti. im back home with a scar reminding me. when i cut, i cut my wrists so i can watch the blood. then on the plane i was going through my pictures the person i sat by was watching hes a adult photographer saying everything about my pictures he loved them and he said i should enter contests. if i dont like you at the start i probly wont talk to you youd sense the deepest hate in hell between me and someone. but we talked the whole flight for hours. i felt good once that whole vacation. i sat away from my family on the plane. them 3 sat together then i sat 13 rows ahead. i look normal most of the time, my parents think im just like this because im a girl?!wtf?nothing about that do they not get it through their thick skulls. idk im better off alone because im used to it they leave me everywhere. they do not notice a thing about me. i might add more later, i might leave to someone elses house or down the street or 6flags the mall or anywhere ill get my friends idk i just need help i WILL NOT talk to them discussing it. how do i drop hints or what ever though i doubt theyll take it......and so much more..ill add
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Want to answer more questions in the Miscellaneous category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Random Weirdos?
You do not understand how much this touched me. My eyes are watering. My best friend... Well, it's RIDECULOUS how much you two have in common with this story. She tries to commit suicide frequently, and I can't do anything but stand on the side, and just continue to tell her how much I care about her, and if she dies, then I just won't be anything. She loves me, and that's why she hasn't done anything. She was a very, very serious cutter, and at one point, she used her own pet... But listen, my sister is 27. She went through a really, really bad childhood, and didn't have any friends. She never talked to my family, she tried to kill herself and everything. I do not know details, because she's never told me. She went to see a therapist, but that just made it worse. When I was talking to my friend last night, I told her about this, and she was like "I don't have anything to make me want to stay." and I just told her "Neither did she." My sister is now happy with her life, and is glad that she didn't hurt herself before. I'm sorry this is long and dull, but I just want you to know that hurting yourself isn't going to get anywhere. I know that you feel like it's a way out, but right now, it isn't. IT WILL NEVER BE A WAY OUT. I do understand that it's hard. It took my friend about a year, but with the help of people, you can do it. You have to have someone that cares about you. And if not, do it for yourself, even if you don't care about yourself, just do it to prove yourself wrong.
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As hard and terrible as it sounds right now...you need your parents alot right now...if you cant talk to them...dont. But you need to know that whatever they do..they do because they love you... they want you to be safe...but something that was wrong of your parents was to show your brother the pictures you took...this issue does not concern your brother...it is between you and your parents. As for the man you sat next to on the plane... dont trust people you meet there...they could be taking advantage of you...that is one of the reasons I say you need you need your parents alot right now...please remember this....I hope you seek the answers that can help you.
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Hello,
I have some good news for you and alot of hope.
Sounds like you possess a creative force in your field of photography and are very passionate about your work. Keep doing that regardless of critics in your family circle. Henry Ford had the same situation as you, did he stop building the first cars? What about Thomas Edison... he failed a gazillion times but kept the vision that the light bulb would work, because he had a passion and it made him feel good to do this. Dont give up. You are a very powerful energy and you bring light and happiness in your photos.
To validate this answer to your post, go to Walmart or a bookstore, and pick up a book called,
"The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne. The information and inspiration in this book will transform your life, instantly. Please read this. This will change your life for the better.
You will think you have just awaken from a deep sleep. It is phenomenal!! Go get it NOW!!
Many successes,
Kathy
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