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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!
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im girl, 3rd year in high school and i really like one boy in my school (he is in 4th grade in high school..we are at the same high school)..its my 3rd year in high school but i only noticed him when new school year started (september 2015) and i really like him and i thik of him every day....i only see him during breaks in hallway (since we´re not in the same grade).when I´m passing him i always look at him and sometimes he looks back.i dont know how to approach to him since we dont know each other and he is from different grade and he hangs out with people from his grade
so on friday in our school we were sending each other in whole school valentine messages .and i sent one to my crush (because im shy and i dont know how to talk to him)i wrote him that he probably doesnt know me and that i am seeing him at school in the hallway during breaks and i wrote him straight that i like him.and i wrote him only my name because my friend advised me to do so (and in each grade there are max 4 girls that have same name as me ).and now i dont know how is he going to find out that its me who wrote him that message (my friend advised me to smile at him at school and then he should figure it out that it was me)..but now we have a spring break till monday,and its hard for me to wait a week to do that (im really curious what does he think of the message..it first time that im looking forward to go to chool..i reall wish it was after spring break )what should i do ?should i text him on facebook that it was me or what ?? please help me :)
You are getting advice from friends your own age with the same little amount of experience in such matters, or you can get advice here where the ages vary from teen to those old enough to be your grandparents and a great majority of those who answer often are the older people with more life experience.
I don't know yet if you prefer to try what your friend said to do: 'my friend advised me to smile at him at school and then he should figure it out that it was me'. You have the freedom to accept or reject advice and choice will always be yours whether to act upon any advice given or not. So do you think your friend gave good advice? Break will be over soon and you back at school. Do you want to do as she says and smile because you believe a smile will make him sure that it was you if he even was curious to begin with as to who it was? If so, then try that a while and you'll have your answer.
But for fun,Lets put this situation in reverse. Lets say this guy wrote me and told me theres a girl he always see but never talked to, not in same grade, the whole same story including sending you a valentine. So his friends tell him to smile at you. Telling him that doing the smiling is going to give you the clue that for sure it was him that wrote you a valentine. Would the smile in the halls as you pass each other by give you the clue it was him who sent one?
So if you figure out that passing smiles in hallways isn't getting you any where as fast as you'd like, write again, forget the valentine part of the story as it doesnt pertain. What you want is the ways to approach and start a conversation with and to let the guy know you are interested in him at least friends first and then see where it goes. When you are ready to do what those who have gone before you at the same ages and had success and are suggesting for you, then write back. good luck
So, I'm a 7th grade girl with a problem: I have a crush on this one guy and I think he has a crush on me too, but I think he's losing interest because I don't talk to him as much because I'm kinda shy around him. What should I do?
What you should do is first learn what some of the signs are that a person likes someone. There are subconscious signals all people give off without really being aware they are doing it. If the other person is good at picking up the signals, there should be no question as to whether the guy or gal has an interest in you.
Once you've figured they are interested, the next step is the one already suggested, to befriend the guy. Walk up to him and talk to him. An easy way to start if you have seen each other often but never talked is to bring that up as your opening sentence, stating the obvious which feels kind of awkward and maybe even a bit scary.
"Hi, I see you all the time and we've never talked but it seems we're always looking at each other as if we know each other. So I thought I'd introduce myself. I am Leslie. Whats your name?"
Next try to find things in common to talk about.
Rather than making this long...let me know if you specifically need a listing of the signals people give off when interested in you, or if you need more help with how to start a conversation with a guy and things to talk about and how to word your sentences. Or if you need both, thats fine too. Just write to me if you want any of that kind of help.
Recently, I've began to develop a crush on my female friend(let's call her Jenny) and she recently became friends with a really nice girl (let's call her Anne) and friends with a really mean girl (let's call her Amanda). Jenny and Anne are both really nice to me and compliment my stories. Amanda however says they're not good and they're rude. The rudeness in the stories stopped a long time ago and she'd never even read one so she couldn't judge them. She told me to stop writing them when I was talking to my friend (Let's call him Henry) which really offended me but luckily she was with Anne who replied to her with the words "Why? They're good" which made me happy but then Amanda said "No they're f***ing not" which offended me. But then Jenny was there at that exact moment and said that she liked them. Amanda just rolled her eyes, however the 3 of them have remained friends. What's worse is I've showed my English teacher these stories and she likes them, but Amanda was there at that exact moment saying she hates them and the teacher didn't even do anything about it
In this whole, people are supposed to have the freedom to like something or not. What one person likes, another may not find interesting. for example, while artistic expression in writing or painting, etc... is a lot of self expression, it comes from you, you created it, everyone is different and have a right to find something about it that clicks with them or not.
This Amanda person is young like the rest of you and immature and lacking in manners...something also common among the young. We hopefully eventually learn to act better as we grow older. Only a small percent of unhappy adults do I see who at any age complain and grumble about Everything. Nothing makes them happy.
So while this Amanda has a right to not like your style of writing and your teacher as an adult recognizes the right of everyone to have their own opinion, she in immaturity hasn't learned to keep any negative opinions to herself yet, or learn how to find something constructive to say about your work even if she doesn't prefer that kind of writing style or genre. Just because one person doesnt like your work doesnt mean it isn't good.
So what you need to learn is to not take so many things personally. I know, easier said than done. But heres something you can do for yourself that may help a little. Next time she criticizes you, don't respond to her face but asap find a time to be away alone where you can speak out loud to yourself saying, "You have a right to your opinion Amanda, but that doesnt make my stories bad. I know they are good because I like them, my friends and family and teacher likes them.
remember to watch your tongue as well. Lets say you dont like Italian food and a friend invited you over and her mom asked you to stay for dinner. You look at what is being cooked and say, "Oh, thats disgusting, No one should have to eat that!" You may hurt feelings but more likely, the mom being adult realizes you're still a kid who hasn't learned good manners yet or your parents haven't taught you. She may be more inclined to think she doesnt want her daughter hanging around you rather than being hurt because you don't approve of her cooking even if you havent tasted it. Do you see the comparison I am making and how important it is to watch what we say, and still have our own feelings and choices and opinions. Don't give opinion until asked for it. Only then can you say for example: it tastes good or looks good but meat isnt to my liking...I am a vegetarian. It isn't your role to teach this gal at school how to have good manners like that. Eventually as time goes on, she'll either kill her relationships with your other friends or hopefully grow up some so you all can enjoy time with her.
I play lacrosse on a travel team and I've always played on my school team in the spring. this year I do not want to play on the school team but my coach thinks I am trying out. Today there is a mandatory meeting for all girls trying out for the team. I am not trying out so I don't know if I should attend the meeting or not. But later on today I have lacrosse practice with my travel team but my coach for the travel team is the same coach as the school team. Should I go to the meeting and tell her at practice later that I am not playing on the school team? Or should I not go to the meeting so she knows I'm not gonna play and then explain to her at practice later why I am not trying out? HELP
Let me rephrase what I think you are asking by making an analogy here, a comparison.
Lets say a guy whom you have dated is hinting that he has fallen in love with you and assumes you feel the same and tells you to meet him at a really fancy restaurant because he wants to splurge on you that night and also expects you'll go out to a movie or dancing after as you usually do. Now lets say you have changed your mind and no longer are interested in him. But he still thinks you are.
So does it make sense to allow him to take you out and pay for your dinner and movie after and during the movie you finally tell him you don't feel the same about him anymore? No it doesnt. It isn't nice to allow him to be counting on you still being into him and allowing him to pay for your dinner. Thats like you attending a meeting for players when you don't intend to be a lacrosse player anymore. It just doesnt make sense. Call the person and let them know now. You should have said something long before now, last time you saw her at practice but since you've waiting til backed up against a meeting, you'll just have to call.
So what do i do now just stay away and wait till he shows up again do u think he will..im confused and hurt mayb its my own fault..he knew i wntd to see him but he dd what he did and i ddnt mean to come off as desperate..i think i will just leave him alone..like u said its over and he wants nothing to do with me anymore
This reply of yours wasn't sent to the original person who talked to you, but to the group as a whole so we won't know what you are refering to if we aren't the one who wrote you earlier or if we've answered too many similar situations, we may not be sure of which one you are.
If you need more help, best to write the original person answering you which you can do from going to their column, or rewrite this for the rest of us to try to help.
It take a much longer time for me to cum.Why?
You dont give me much to go on. There can be just as many misconceptions here as a root problem as there can be others.
So now I have to guess and may be far off mark. If so, just write in detailed description what is going on.
For one, theres no mention if you're female or male. Females take longer to get to orgasm than males but once a female is turned on, she stays turned on way longer than a guy for whom its over once the orgasm is over unless he starts from bottom and does the climb up again to cum. So if you are female comparing yourself to how long it takes to cum is unfair...like comparing apples to oranges.
If you are comparing yourself to what other friends say about how long it takes them, stop! Its an unfair comparison. There are factors that apply to both men and women that can affect how long it takes or the quality of sex and orgasms.
Stress is a factor that can make ones performance/ability to cum differ. Being tired and not having got proper rest can also affect you. I've found that sometimes if I haven't eaten well and had enough liquids in the past couple days, eventually that will affect me. For certain, any new sex partner and the anxiousness that comes along with it can affect ones ability.As we grow older, our bodies can slow down as far as how long we can stay aroused, how long until we orgasm. So if you're wondering why its different now than 10 yrs ago, that could be why.
Also, if you've had no sex partner or been celibate by choice for a period of time and now want to launch into it again, that also may take some time for your body to reawaken to those abilities. Its easier for women than men. Some men can go without sex for so long that their body never comes back to its same ability as before. Yes, they may have the want and desire but the body won't cooperate.
And then, last thing that comes to my mind is a person getting too used to one way or method of achieving their orgasm and relying too heavily on just that. Overuse of anything, drugs/alcohol even, means that you need more to achieve the same results...thats how people get addicted to drugs and alcohol cus the same amount as before eventually the body becomes so used to that they don't get the affect they want.
As far as sex is concerned, doing the exact same thing each time can have the effect of either making it take longer to have orgasm or in some cases, inability to cum at all. If this is the case, an easy way to learn what else to do and/or how to retrain your body, you might want to seek out a sex therapist/counselor.
Hope this is of help to you
So, throughout my high school I, a 17 year old boy, have been pretty tight in my friend groups and I don't really consider a relationship that much, more or less talk to someone because I want to try and be in a relationship with them. But recently, there has a been a girl that is going after me, which I find hard to understand but yeah it is actually happening. So, she has been pretty much doing everything, like texting me first and starting conversations. You might be thinking I am asking how to make the next move, but no, I want to let this girl down easy so she can stop wasting her time going after me. The problem is I have no idea how to without coming off as a douchebag. The simple solution would just be able to tell her straightforward, but I would feel like such an ass I don't want to do it like that. There has to be a way where I can let her down without direct confrontation? That's what I'd like to know and just an FYI she isn't like overly clingy or anything, nice really, but I'm not interested. Thanks in advance.
This is what happens when one feels attraction to a person and that person doesnt feel the same in return and that happens more often in life than one would think. The tragedy is when the person who has someone coming after them decides instead of telling them they aren't interested, for fear of hurting a nice persons feelings, actually goes along with it, thus giving a false impression to the other. In this case, it would be the girl. She needs to know you dont feel the same way but for some reason, most teen girls are very hurt and don't understand, thinking if they feel something that naturally the other will too. There will be hurt on her part for the reason that she may have built up in her imagination, in her mind, a whole scenerio of how she wants things to happen between you both, which is unfair to her and unfair to you. She may not have done that, but I don't know many girls who don't let their minds imagine whole relationships, just crushing on someone.
While its okay in this age for girls to approach guys first, they are in no way any more prepared for rejection. So whatever you say, no matter how kind, she will be as disappointed as you would be if you did find a gal you were attracted to who didn't feel the same back.
All you can do is mention the obvious things, maybe in an email or text so if she feels like crying, she won't end up doing so in front of you and can do so in private. Heres some things you might say: I like you as a person, you are very nice so it's not that there is anything wrong about you or missing other than than invisible thing called attraction. But to clarify, attraction for me isn't just skin deep, you are pretty enough, but its I just don't feel any attraction to you as a person. A pheremone attraction is something that people have no control over, their body either is attracted to someone as more than friends or you are not. So scientifically speaking, the pheremones are missing for sure on my part.
The reason you are telling her, even if its really disappointing to her is that you don't want her to have false hope and think that with just a little more effort, something can happen between you both. You want her to know right away so that she doesnt cut herself off from being available to any other guy who comes along and is interested in her.
If she keeps pursuing you, ask her one more time how she'd feel if she were in your shoes and some guy feels he's in love with her and tho nice, she has no feelings for him. Is she going to date him exclusively, even though she doesnt feel anything more than friendship, just to avoid turning him down and then being unhappy herself? If she keeps up contact, don't answer calls or texts if she does it constant. If you're close friends, the amount you see each other at school and one call a week should be enough to keep in touch. Anymore, and she is s tarting to become clingy.
Sorry, I know no other way than being direct. Being understanding of how she'd feel can for some be felt and so the words aren't as harsh but most people will hurt some when their 'dreams' are dashed.
In the future when she meets someone a better match for her in that way, she'll even wonder why she ever felt that attraction for you.
We had a huge group of friends which broke down due to fights on trivial issues. It so happened that the group got divided into 2 parts and i was a person who talked to both parties very well. One group is really studious and other is somewhat fun loving but they do study well & get decent grades. I am in my last year of Engineering and we have been assigned a project of 4 people.i have a friend already with me leaving a place for 2 people.Now onestudious friends have somewhat threatened to not talk to me if i do not take them. I have already made a choice of taking 2 people from fun loving group because they are really hardworking. Plus taking someone from the nerds will nt let me lead the project which i want to. I happen to be the guy who has lots of fun and manages studies as well. But this seems childish on the nerds' part of threatening to destroy friendship. I have a great bonding with everone and do not wish to spoil it for just 1 year. Advice needed please
Friendship is important but you can only have a friend who is willing to be a friend in return. If a person chooses childish tactics with you, then if you cave in to their demands, you are now not living your life and making decisions for what you believe is your 'personal best' but settling for less to keep a childish friend.
If this person or persons are basically good people but just making a bad decision in this one area, then its likely that at some point in the future when they mature as individuals, they will be open to reforging the friendship with you, picking up where they left off as if nothing ever happened. This happened to me with one friend and twice with family members...adults too at the time of the event. What most people go thru is regret and embarrassmet and don't want to have to apologize and so they avoid trying to repair the relationship later. If you value them as friends, make the decision you feel best for you and the project and grades. Then of course, they will be pissed off. Give them time, sometime after the project, even a year later, make casual steps at contact with them if you desire, don't bring up the past, or forgiveness, let them if they wish, and just be like you talke to them yesterday and share something funny that made you laugh. Humor first off the bat when theres been no contact is a very good pressure release valve and relaxes everyone. I did this in a call to my sis who'd stopped talking to me. Months went by. One day my kids did something so funny I had to tell somebody so they could laugh too. I thought of her. Instead of "Hey we haven't talked in some time, " my opening to her hello was, You've got to hear the funniest thing the kids did and proceeded to tell the story. She laughed and updated me on her life, no mention on her part of I'm sorry or the past. I was okay with that. We all make silly mistakes and sometimes when it is something immature, its harder to apologize than when it was an unintentional mistake....hey thats just being human. I hope this helps.
If any person doesnt come back to you as a friend after a year, then no matter how much you liked them, its probably for the best as over time, it would have been more of the same if they hadn't grown up and matured and its not worth wasting your time trying to please one person who is expecting the whole world served to them on a platter. If a person can get to their adult years and like a child still expect their every whim and wish served to them on a platter, then thats not the kind of person able to really BE a friend. Any relationship, friends, life mates, are a two way street with input and care on both sides. It can't be all about them only forever.
My ex and I broke up unexpectedly a few months ago (he dumped me). During our relationship, I had spent a lot of time with his family in a different state, visiting with him whenever he went home. I became very close with his family, especially his mom. When he dumped me, I realized, devastatingly, that I would never see his family again, and that I never got to say goodbye.
On a scale of 1 to psychopath, how crazy would it be to write his mom a short, sweet note just thanking her for welcoming me into their home, that I will treasure the memories, and that her family has a special place in my heart? Please consider from both her perspective and that of my ex, who would probably hear about it.
Even though I left my ex over 6 years ago, I've kept in touch with his parents who live locally and are grandparents to my girls. I love them alot, like my own parents who are both now gone.
I made sure they still wanted to have me come visit after the divorce and they did. She had all boys and so I am really her only 'daughter' as the others never had kids, so no other daughter in laws. It is not anything close to weird or pychopathic on the scale to forge friendship or family ties with people who are not blood related or marriage related. I was not a blood relation and the marriage relationship was ended, but a person can not end relationships that remain in the heart and mind. Anything you chose to say or do most likely will be considered very wonderful loving and thoughtful. Younger people are so much more worried about image and what others will think than their parents or grandparents generation. Just in case in would hurt or irritate your ex, make sure as already suggested that you keep things between you and if not seeing her regularly is as hard on you as it is on her, perhaps you can arrange to keep in touch via phone calls every once in a while, as long as he's not visiting her at the time of your call. Have a code like, 'nows not a good time" to know your ex is there, and call back another time.
how to lose your weight for a week?
I see no one has answered, likely because we have no clue what you are trying to accomplish here.
Most people want to lose weight to keep it off, not lose it for a week or two and then gain it back. So some one time in a life time event must be coming up that you want to look better for and after that it doesnt really matter to you???
thats my best guess.
I don't know of any instant way to become slimmer for a short period of time in a short period of time. If need be, there are visual/optical illusions that can trick the eyes of others to make it appear you look like you are slimmer.
One for example is the shape and cut of the clothes, the color of it too, and any design on it. For example, no wearing of belts as it makes people look heavier no matter the weight. Wearing of stripes should only go up and down/vertical, not horizontal/across as that makes a person look wider. The heavier chin, jowls, neck area is less noticeable in a woman whose hair hangs down than if pulled up and away from face in an updo or ponytail. You can find tricks like this easily enough on the internet or youtube. Hope this helps.
Hello thanks for answering my question about the whole controlling relationship and everything I wanted to add a lil bit more information I don't think he is planing on leaving his baby mother she not his wife but she keeps bringing up more kids and watching videos of it in front of me like I know she trying to make me feel some type of way because I haven't had a kid with him but he told me he wanted to have kids and he been joking about it and recently I found out if I was pregnant that he was gone let me keep it at first he kept saying no but now its like he want me to be equal to his baby mother like if I had a job and gave him half everything like she do he a prolly stay with me but idk its hard trying to see what he want like I be wanting to ask him but I be scared and every time we get into it he always bring her up n he not scared to show that he love me around her
Let me show you the vast difference between this guy and lets say guys like my 2nd husband.
I did wise up and later in life found a gem of a man, someone who really knew how to care for a woman. When I decided to move in with him and his teen daughter, I asked about finances and what portion of my money I should put into the household expenses.
He told me he is the kind of man who believes in taking care of the woman he loves. Thanked me for asking but told me to only concentrate on paying for upkeep of my own car, paying off credit cards and saving up my money.
This guy wants women to produce kids for him and then go to work and give him half off what they make??? My ex was also more concerned about what piddly wages I could earn compared to him. Men still earn way more than women will for jobs with the same skills and degrees unless talking about minimum wage jobs. I know the economy is tight but what the heck is this guy contributing to run a household? If you've watched Maury or other tv shows where some guy has babies with three women, but is not giving equal time to her or her kid nor really caring for them, just listening to those guys talking, I could pick up by their choice of words that they were lazy and wanted to play King of the land. They wanted women to support them in exchange for use of his cock. It just boils down to that. In scientific reality, thats really all women need men for, to procreate. In ancient societies, the whole village would raise the children so if a Dad was dead or chose to be a loser type, then the kids wree taken care of by uncles, grandparents and other young men not married to the mother of the kids.
I have also heard that it is easy to provide the seed to become the biological Father, but it isn't easy to be a Dad. Being a Dad takes lots of hard work and a commitment to really be there for a kid and pass on teaching by good example of how to grow up to be a stable young man or woman.
Do you really want a son of yours to have this man as an example of what a man should be like? If you do, then get pregnant by him and enjoy that life. Most women I know, would not only never go for it but not enjoy it either. But some souls are on this planet to learn some valuable lessons that they might not if not opting for a bad scenerio like this. I wouldn't want to counsel you to choose something better when you are meant to learn some life lessons the hard way. So which ever way you go, the thing is to learn, either from the examples and stories and advice of others, or by going through the school of hard knocks by living it yourself. While one is a way better path than the other dear, both have the same end result for you. The only soul you have to wonder about is any children you are dragging through this experience. I still feel bad for not leaving my ex while the girls were little as I now see the damage it did to each of them now that they are young adults. Their ability to pick out a good mate is very warped in each of my 3 daughters and so the bad situation continues for me to relive thru observing my daughters now, even tho I left my ex and wised up myself. I really can't think of anything else I can share with you that could help.
In my first year of secondary school I used a laptop in English, History, Geography and Religion because my writing was difficult to read. I'm now in my second year and I only use it English because that's the only one of my teachers that's stayed the same from last year. But I don't know if I should ask to start using it because my crush broke her hand earlier this year so she had to use one as well but I'm worried that the other teachers will think I'm copying her. My English teacher hasn't told me to get a laptop that much recently but the SEN department are very strict and they will point out that you haven't collected a laptop for ages if you begin using them less frequently so this is 2 main questions
1- Should I start using a laptop in other lessons?
2- What should I do about English if that's probably the lesson I'll need it for most and the teacher hasn't told me to get one for ages apart from when there's a test. Even for practice tests now, I do the work in my book, but I would like to use it as frequently as i did at the start of this year so I don't get a scolding from the SEN department?
School has changed since I went. When my kids where in HS is when the school started a computer lab and began requiring in some classes that the students do their reports and papers on computer so the teachers have it easier to read, not having to decipher handwriting. Not all families could afford a desk top computer let alone lap tops. So the computer lab was available. I would suppose some classes are now set up in HS and college for students to all use computers or to bring if there is space for one.
The way you describe it is that laptops aren't necessary but its possible to use in class if a teacher has requested that you do. Unless there is a rule that no laptops allowed in class unless having special permission for any exceptions, then you'd have to get the okay from the teacher. Since this is years later than when my kids were in school, I would think that computer use both in college and HS have increased. If I were you, I would ask the teacher the same thing you asked here and find out if you can gain use of a school computer. If not, find out if you can bring your own, and find a way to earn the money to purchase your own. If not requiring a fancy graphics card to play high end games, you can get lap tops for very reasonable prices if you purchase your own.
Morning,I am really worried because I almost had sex with my girlfriend my like five or six months ago but wen I tried to have sex with her my penis didn't go through at first but I think on my 2nd trial that same day I tink it went half way in buh it was really tight..so I stopped especially since I wasn't having condom with me...so she rubbed my penis for like five to ten minutes before I ejaculated... That happened on oct9 now it's feb13 I having worried if I have contacted any form of std especially HIV but I haven't really had any symptoms of any std...I and my girlfriend went to the same school for 6six years buh neva noticed a sign of STDs.. She is always.Active even compared to other girls in fact she really loves playing basketball with boys she doesn't fall sick in school or anything... Her period do come regularly... She isn't thin or any thing in fact she has a good physique... I myself haven't loosed any weight...I have had any fever to last upto a week since,no temperature,no chronic Fatigue,nd I used have night sweats we came together due to d amount of heat in room at night...but since after we almost had sex I haven't really experience any form of night sweats,I don't have lesion in my mouth or tongue,no rashes, no real pain,excepr I used to masturbate very frequently maybe like thrice in a day everyday so i do suffer back pain...no blurr vision buh its simples I have a swollen lymph nodes on my neck...i have no easy acess to any form test nd dat incident was the first and only time i tried to engage in sex...we do kiss a lot e.t.c,please advice me on this situation
I am guessing that you are very young and therefore embarrassed to go about obtaining information on STDs and HIV, the signs, symptoms, or how to prevent getting it. There is lots of good info on the web but I know that some Planned Parenthood facilities have programs/classes geared for teens to teach them sex education and all that goes with it, such as knowledge about STD's, birth control and lots of other real facts that are important.
They are also a good source to seek help with getting a checkup for anything regarding ones reproductive system, whether they hold classes for teens or not. Just so you know, the most common and easiest to catch STD I know of is Herpes, both oral and genital. In testing for STD's, testing for the herpes virus is not done unless asked for because so many people have it that its not worth checking for. Many who have not tested for it assume they are not a carrier for herpes, simply because they have never had an outbreak. A person can be a carrier and never have an outbreak. This is something you are at greater risk for as a human your entire sex life with whoever other partners you will have.So if a person does not understand herpes, and how it is actually contracted, not just the basic of kissing or having sex, then one could easily pass it on. Open sores are obvious and very painful so a person having a breakout is not likely to want to engage in sex or even kissing for the oral version of herpes. But the virus lays dormant at the base of nerve ending in the area where it was originally contracted, and when your immune system is low, due to other illnesses or extreme stress, the virus travels to the surface of the skin. Its invisible to the human eye but you can transfer it with your own hands from one spot of the body to another or another persons skin coming into contact can contract it. The only sign some people may have that the virus is on the surface of the skin is that the area feels sensitive to the touch. think of the irritation elastic may have, or even cloth rubbing repeatedly against one spot on you. The skin feels tender, sore but is not broken or blistered yet. That is the time when it is so easily passed on and why so great a percent of society has it but doesnt even know it. Young kids aren't going to go get a herpes virus test. so theres no way to know if she is a carrier and you've contracted even just the oral version from kissing. My mother had those tell tale cold sores and never kissed her children when she had the sores, but I suspect she passed on the virus by kisses when she had that day or so before the visual outbreak where she still felt fine as I am a carrier. However I went my whole life with no outbreak until the stress of a divorce. Since I am not a stressful person by nature, I rarely have outbreaks, but I know how easy it is to pass around. However swollen lymph glands and fever is not symptoms of herpes. It sounds like a plain common cold or flu virus.
well me and my boyfriend had our first time on saturday night and we used condom of course because I'm not on birth control at the moment. He cummed inside the condom but took it out as soon as he did (obviously with the condom still on), I was a bit paranoid the next morning so I decided to take a morning after pill yesterday which calmed me. But ever since Saturday I've had this craving to eat sweets or chocolate for some reason and I feel like I've been eating more since I had sex with him, is it normal to crave chocolate or sweets days after sex??? Please I'm so confused!!
Ditto for all adviceman said.
I know you may not feel ready to get a prescription for birth control if you wonder how long you'll be with the boyfriend or have had gaps in between dating where it feels useless to be taking a birth control. It is better to be on a birth control and ready for whenever you meet a guy you like enough to want to have sex with.
Maybe the pill is too much fuss and bother but there is also the contraceptive shot that lasts about 3 months before you get another one, less fuss and great for those who dont mind needles.
My favorite though is the IUD, intra uterine device, which is placed inside by Dr. and remains there for around 10 years for most brands. There is one with hormones, Mirena and there may be more by now, but theres also a non hormonal one, the copper iud which I used before having kids and wore it 7 yrs before having it removed to try to get pregnant. The copper works by making the lining of the uterus too slippery for the egg to attach to. Its fuss free, you're always ready and protected, cost effective over time, and theres no time for body to rid it self of hormones once removed, so one can try to become pregnant right away.
As to whether its normal to have any cravings after sex, I suppose it can vary with people. A good orgasm or two will release endorphins, a group of substances formed within the body that naturally relieve pain. In addition to their pain-relieving effects, endorphins help the body to release stress. Since endorphines make a person feel good and feel happier, perhaps it is not too far a stretch then for a people to turn to or have a craving for what ever it is that they usually turn to having when happy or things they feel make them happy. Thats how I would explain your chocolate craving. It's way too early for any female at that point to have possible pregnancy related cravings.
Hi I'm June and I'm 16 and my boyfriend is 17 soon to be 18. You've probably heard this sort of situation tons of times but my boyfriend wants to have sex and we've had this conversation multiple times of how I feel I'm not ready and I have told him my decision was no and the other night the subject came up again and I told him I wasn't ready but he wasn't really accepting my answer and he was like if you trust me you'll let me do it. I trust him a lot and I really like him and he knows that but I myself just don't feel ready and he kept pushing for me to change my mind and I gave in and said I'd have sex with him and now I'm gonna see him sometime this week and he wants to do it, idk what to do I'm scared and I'm not ready to have sex but he doesn't want no for an answer what should I do. I love him a lot but I'm just not ready, any advice is helpful.
And one more vote supporting everything adviceman and razhie said. This guy is trouble, stay away from him. This means breaking up with him and not having anything to do with him anymore.
Young boys will be horny young boys wanting to try out sex, but after one No, maybe even a 2nd one, that should have been it.
What I think might help for you to know is that whether the other person notices this consciously or subconsciously about you, your self confidence goes a long way to solving issues like this.
You state to a guy what you will and won't do. Then he pushes the boundary to see if he pushes hard enough, can he tire you out so you're tired of fighting him and give in? Its much like parents setting rules for their young children. Kids will be kids and push the boundaries to see how the parents react. If the parents give in, the kids will never ever follow any rules or respect the parents and become total unruley brats.
In this, young females are much like the parents in this role of having to teach a young man what is acceptable in a relationship and what is not. Parents cant walk away from their child if it keeps misbehaving, but teens and adults in a relationship can walk away and break up if the relationship is not a healthy one. What a young female will accept in behavior from a teen boy will set up the young man for how he deals with girls and acts in later relationships.
I mentioned self confidence. To me, as far as a relationship, it means stating up front as soon as the guy shows interest in dating you, your rules and boundaries, telling him what you expect in behavior and manners and how he treats you, from any boyfriend. If he can not follow these very simple rules, then you will have nothing to do with him.
What you have trained him so far, is that you will keep stating the rule, no sex for me, I'm not ready, as many times as he asks. Kids do this to try to break down the parents. You've seen them in the groceries or elsewhere in public with the kid asking for a product or toy and when the parent says no, in seconds the child repeats their request, willing to ask it umpteen times if just one time the parents get tired of the asking and break down and say yes just to have some peace. It should not have progressed past the 2nd no to him to clarify or hammer in your stance on this. You don't have to have a reason or explain yourself either. So he has now been trained that if he asks long enough, a girl will get so tired of the asking that she will break down and let him have what he's asking for, like a little bratty kid who parents never bothered to work with him and train him right from wrong or good manners. If the parents failed, its up to the young girls to stick to their resolve and not let a guy treat her in ways she doesnt like. This is a situation where the clearest message you can send is to say at this point, "I should h have said so earlier, but even if you ask a thousand times for me to have sex with you, it won't change a thing making me give in to do so. I said yes, only to get you to shut up and now in thinking about it, realize I am going about this wrong. YOu are not the kind of guy that I deserve for a boyfriend. I have been settling for way less. I am not so desperate for a boyfriend that i will continue to be your girlfriend. This is over right now. Call him with that message, or text or email it and do NOT go anywhere alone with him or out of frustration or to get back at you, he may force you. He's already sexually harassing you and its easy for him, so its not a big step for him to go for raping. In this case, I would say the same to my daughters, dont meet face to face to tell him, its not being chicken and unthoughtful, but wise and brave to stand up to him and end it in a way where you don't put yourself in danger. If he persists by trying to follow you around school or catch you elsewhere, you need to tell your parents, Dad too, not just Mom. Dads are protective of their girls and someone sexually harassing his little girl needs to be brought by him and you to the attention of school officials if warning him to leave you alone in public places doesnt work. You have to be harsh when dealing with people who wont take no for an answer and don't believe in following rules.
The very fact you've stayed as his girlfriend even when he hasnt respected your answer sends him a message that you are a weak person and can easily be swayed from what you want, stand for, your morals, etc...if only enough pressure was applied. A person weak in character is more easily manipulated and tricked into giving control of their life over to another all because we think giving in and allowing them to control us, means life will become good and normal. I married at 20, didn't understand this and jumped to every whim of my husband, allowing him to control me until I tired of it and then when I put my foot down and stated how I expected to be treated, he was already too happy with what he had and turned to fear to keep me in check.
So when you say, "I really like him and he knows that..." this is his leverage against you, the string he will pull his entire life to get what he wants from any girl. Why I believed no guy better than him would ever notice me if I left him, I don't know but I suspect he's figured you feel like that too, that you won't find any other guy who will treat you better. This is what happens when the girl waits for a boy to notice her and ask her out rather than taking the reins in her hands and the control too. Decide what you want. Look for guys who seem to be good prospects whom you're attracted to and asking them out. You date a while to get to know a guy better and let them know right in beginning what you want and also what you won't tolerate. Let a guy know you will remind him only once if he makes a transgression against you and after that, you will break up if it continues. If all is still going well during dating and no warning signs of similar behavior or other bad behavior have not come up then become gf/bf. A guy will know up front this way, what is expected of him and its up to him to decide if he is willing to follow your rules to be able to date you or not. Many won't and thats good, you've just erased some losers off the list. A lazy guy who wants his way is not ever going to be an equal partner and loving one in a relationship.
So, no matter what you promised....Dont See him this week, no way, no how!!!
I could say, oh, its just sex, the first sex is bad for everyone and you;ll get over it. That may be true for many but that is only the surface issues here, a symptom of bigger problems with this guy which you will discover in time if you decide to stick with him. Its still your choice dear, but all of us are rooting for you to sprout some Balls and stand up to him for the final time by breaking up and never going near him again.
Has anyone gone through a separation that made their relationship better? How were you able to get past the issues that caused the separation? What made you decide to work things out instead of move on? How were you able to get past the hurt? Did you feel like everything was worth it in the end?
While I haven't gone through this situation, I am very close to people who have. I can not recall any who found that a separation solved any issues they were having before the separation.
In wanting to be of help to my friends, I have done research on the internet for info and in reading books on how to have healthy relationships, troubleshooting stuff, do's and don'ts and how to resolve issues. There are some basics of human behavior of how to go about even bringing up an issue to ones partner let alone what the couple tries to work thru it together.
Together is a key word here because the issues may be important to one and the other doesnt see it as an issue or is lazy, or not wanting to admit there are problems. Its hard enough to look at ourselves and see our strengths along with shortcomings. So in a relationship, we may think we know what the issue is but it may only be one symptom of a much deeper root issue. So my advice that I gave friends is, if you want to try to solve it together, then both read up on the internet and read books targeted at helping couples resolve issues and if after that you find it still isn't helping, then its time to just go for couple counseling and see if the stranger can spot the true issues in your relationship and help you both move on to solving them.
A relationship works best if both are putting in equal amounts of energy and work to make it successful. In my case, I was the one who made the relationship hang in there and he wasnt willing to admit to the root issues and go for counseling so at one point, I left him.
If this doesnt help you, we may need more info with examples as to what you see going on. granted I'd have only your view, not his on whats happening, but sometimes others can see the obvious that the rest of us are blind to in our relationships, even in a one sided story.
I'm sorry, but I spend 8 hours a day, 5 days a week around her. I really don't want to be rude to her as she's really nice and helpful. We all work in an office setting and often times I have to sit right beside her and her breath smells very bad like a rotting corpse. I want to tell her but I don't want to be mean and afraid she will take it wrong, but honestly it's very bad. I wouldn't mention it if it wasn't really bad, I can smell it even if she just walks by me.
It's not just her breath but sometimes I can smell her breath even when her mouth is closed.
What is the best way to go about this? I don't think I can work along with her anymore until she does something about it, and she won't do anything unless someone says something. Please help.
I have experienced this in reverse where the gal who shared my cubicle was one of those people highly sensitive to fragrances and the company had a policy of not wearing anything strong. I never did. Just the soap and shampoo if used to wash myself. One day the boss called me into his office and said that she had complained she was getting headaches from whatever I was wearing. I told the boss I wasn't wearing anything and perhaps it was my shampoo which she hadn't had problems with before. I asked if he could smell anything strong on me and he couldn't. So he let her know I was scent free. She was just unfortunately that sensitive and did get headaches easily. At the time I wondered why since we were buddies that she hadn't told me and now in looking back, I can see how awkward that is. I think using ones supervisor or boss as the go between to communicate is in some cases better, especially if the person in question takes things too seriously, may have a low self confidence and hearing something like this from you first may make you her enemy in her mind and then having to continue working with her will make it very hard. Unless its just you her and a boss, its much easier for things to go smoothly afterwards bbetween you if you could remain anonymous to her and the boss let her know that some coworkers have complained about this to her or you could ask the boss to not reveal it was you who complained in case he/she may not be thinking as I am. Most work places are very conscious about employees being able to work in an environment where nothing makes them sick in any way including odors. Usually the issue is cologne so strong it smells like they emptied the whole bottle over themselves. But personal body odors should also qualify here. Just tell your boss that the smell is making you sick to your stomach and its been going on for quite some time. You've tried your best to put up with it and hope the situation would get better on its own but it hasn't.
Besides health related or decaying teeth, more specifically, I have found I couldnt stand the breath of people who ate lots of garlic daily, a few asian folks I've known in the past for whom that was in every meal so even with their mouths closed, you could smell it when they exhaled.
My husband has at times had reflux problems and ulcers of stomach and problems with digesting so contents in his stomach could produce that decaying awful smell which would rise and come out when he speaks or even just thru nose as he exhaled. Once doctors took care of the problem, no more odor. Garlic eating may be offensive in scent to others but I've never known it to cause the rotting corpse scent as you put it, but stomach related issues...definitely yes. Like my husband, she may not feel uncomfortable or any pain, not even from ulcers and it wasnt til he ended up in the hospital in emergency that all these issues were discovered. So she may not be aware of it and your boss saying something may be crucial to her health and well being.
i am lost as to what to do. I am 18 years old, i live with my parents and two brothers in a small house that we are renting. My parents are over $20,000 in debt and have been for over 20 years. They work good paying jobs but about 3/4 of the money goes to bills and rent. Theyve basically given up paying off the debt and keep making purchases without any care. what can i do to get them to realize that they cant just give up? they are going to be retiring soon but with all this debt i dont know whats going to happen..
Theres nothing you can really say or do. Many are floundering in the current economy and either borrowing money or carelessly spending what you don't have and not learning to be patient and save up money is a problem that many besides your parents have. Pretty much most of society has forgotten the financial principles that our great grandparents had. It was a different time and we were raised to save up rather than use credit....which means being patient.
The problem is a society that has learned they can get instant anything...fast food, faster travel, faster communication with phones, cells, computers. We are bombarded with ads of all the things we could be enjoying now if we bought them and then all the ads for credit card companies so we can get the things we want now with the intent to pay later. But who is really going to be diligent to pay credit card payments if they couldn't put those same amounts monthly into a savings account. The cost of living is so high compared to what we earn that many work two jobs, and only use their home as a place to sleep as they are never there, just working to be able to exist and that can become very discouraging to the average to lesser income person.
So unless you can fix the governments financial system and spending practices, and living costs of the economy, then theres nothing much that can be done other than to do what others keep doing, cutting down the outgoing expenses, living in smaller cheaper places, driving older cars or using bus, buying all your clothes second hand and getting furniture and household items 2nd hand or free through places like free-cycle, a recycling of items in good condition, learning to cook from scratch, no going out to eat, and using food banks, food stamps if one qualifies, and Obama care, and so on. I've had to live that way all my life. You are living with your parents because in todays world, it is too expensive for you to afford an apartment on your own. In many cases, it is still too expensive for two people your age to afford to keep an apt. I know of families that no longer can own their own place or rent their own and have friends and family or two familys living in one place simply cus they can't afford one on their own. I would say, learn to do what you can to be frugal, save lots and spend little, only do any schooling that you can afford to pay for with money you earn, or grants, but avoid student loans as you and the parents can't afford that. Start checking out the free-cycle places on line first before buying anything at full price, even if its just to get a new purse or pair of shoes. I always check out the discounts racks and 2nd hand stores before I buy anything at full price brand new and even then, shop stores that have quality for discount prices. Save well, and give a little money to the parents to help cover your room and board. When they retire and have no money to live on, they'll be in my spot...waiting to get old enough to qualify for senior housing or housing for the poor, based on on a portion of your income and having to work til the day you die cus theres no such thing as full retirement for the working poor
Yes, your parents may be overspending, but many dont get ahead and its not cus they are lazy. Many have worked hard their entire lives and have nothing to show for it cus the cost of living has always been higher than what many people earn. Just start looking into what it would cost, what kind of income you'd require to be totally self sufficient on your own at your age and you'll see how tough it is. Then again, you could look to marry for money, instead of love unless you can find both and your husband could afford taking care of your parents as they age and retire.
I've never really told anybody about this, but, it's getting out of hand and I don't know what to do. I have a fantasy world inside of my head that I want to be my actual life. I have multiple characters that I made up. I have different family and friends inside my own world that I sometimes love more than my real world ones. When the people in my world are happy, I'm happy, when they are sad, I'm sad. They are so real to me that sometimes, I just get lost inside my head and actually think I'm living there. I love this world so much that I want to spend all my time there, and when I finally realize that I can't, I'll cry or just get really angry. I think this is getting out of hand, I've had this world since I was around 5. I'm 13 now. I really don't want to talk about this to my family, they just won't understand.
The thing about our minds is that a mind is very capable of creating intricate fantasy worlds and characters. Almost always, the imagininary one and what real life is like are vastly different and there is no way of making our fantasies real. Some darker fantasies are fine in the mind but would be a bad thing if happening in real life.
The fact we don't always like the life we have or find it depressing is why so many people escape into books into fantasy worlds that others have created. If you can create such detailed fantasies that make them come alive and feel real to you, then you have a talent that not everyone has. YOu could write books describing those characters and lives and you can be one of those characters. It can be good therapy for you and others may be able to enjoy it as well. I have written books, non published yet but all the research that went into some of them to make the facts accurate makes me feel like I have actually lived those adventures. I have a time travel story of a man from the 1600's who accidentally appears in our time. The gal he meets and marries goes with him to his home country on vacation and while there, they travel back to his time. It is very personal and has my type of humor in it, has the scenes play out the way I find it to be romantic or scary. I've ready parts aloud to others, surprised to hear them laugh at a funny part. Even long after finishing a book, the characters are like real people to me and that is the mark of a good writer with a good imagination.
At 13, you're at a tough age and things may level out for you later. Life can be very rough and just not fun or interesting for you at your age, so I see no harm to use your imagination to escape from reality for bits of time, as long as you can still take care of your responsibilities and things in real life like keeping up grades, learning how to have friendships in real life, something hard to do in real life at that age but it is possible. If you decide to run from everything in real life that is hard or frustrating, you'll never learn how to handle lifes tough stuff. Theres a saying that when the going gets tough, the tough get going. That means there are also those who don't want to learn how to be tough to handle lifes disapppointments so instead of getting going and tackling the obstacle, they run and hide from it or avoid it, and that dear, is not living life. Thats being alive but not living life. I know this is more encouragement than practical things telling you what to do. Its really simple to me tho, start writing and see if that helps connect you to reality with sharing your stories with others who can then escape reality for a while, people without the vivid imagination you have. Talk to a teacher about this and see if they think writing would be a good thing and follow any writing advice the teacher has. Often there are programs linked with certain school where published writers or people who work in the publishing world will work with recommended students to help groom them and their books for possible publishing to be the next young writer out there to make it.
im girl, 3rd year in high school...so on friday in our school we were sending each other in whole school valentine messages ...and i sent one to my crush (he´s in 4th year in high school ans i really like him)i didnt expect that i would like him that much...i wrote him that he probably doesnt know me and that i am seeing him at school in the hallway during breaks and i wrote him straight that i like him ...and i wrote him only my name because my friend advised me to do so...and now i dont know how is he going to find out that its me who wrote him that message (my friend advised me to smile at him at schoo and then he should figure it out that it was me)..but now we have a spring break for a week ,,,and its hard for me to wait a week to do that...what should i do ?? should i text him on facebook that it was me or what ?? please help me :)
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If you have his contact info and can find him on FB to send message, then say something to him if you like. Otherwise you'll have to wait until you see him at school.
Remember that a crush is only a one way thing, your attraction to what you see and then your mind imagining and building up everything else about him that may or may not be true.
Crushing on someone doesn't guarantee that the other person may have any interest in you at all, but again, they might once they get to know you. So the deal here is, getting to know each other better. By befriending him at school, he has a chance to get to know you better. Just seeing him pass in hallways is not a friendship. If it were, then every single kid in school who's passed you by in the halls would be your close friend. How did you get the girlfriends you have? Either you or she talked to each other first. Someone has to make the first move and it might as well be you.