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My Ex's Mom
My ex and I broke up unexpectedly a few months ago (he dumped me). During our relationship, I had spent a lot of time with his family in a different state, visiting with him whenever he went home. I became very close with his family, especially his mom. When he dumped me, I realized, devastatingly, that I would never see his family again, and that I never got to say goodbye.
On a scale of 1 to psychopath, how crazy would it be to write his mom a short, sweet note just thanking her for welcoming me into their home, that I will treasure the memories, and that her family has a special place in my heart? Please consider from both her perspective and that of my ex, who would probably hear about it.
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There is absolutely nothing crazy about wanting to re-connect with people that once met a whole lot to you. Regardless of her being your Ex's mum, she is someone you bonded with separably despite him being the reason for it all. I believe its something very sweet and you should do it if you wish to. I'm sure she'll be very pleased to here from you.
All the best.
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Even though I left my ex over 6 years ago, I've kept in touch with his parents who live locally and are grandparents to my girls. I love them alot, like my own parents who are both now gone.
I made sure they still wanted to have me come visit after the divorce and they did. She had all boys and so I am really her only 'daughter' as the others never had kids, so no other daughter in laws. It is not anything close to weird or pychopathic on the scale to forge friendship or family ties with people who are not blood related or marriage related. I was not a blood relation and the marriage relationship was ended, but a person can not end relationships that remain in the heart and mind. Anything you chose to say or do most likely will be considered very wonderful loving and thoughtful. Younger people are so much more worried about image and what others will think than their parents or grandparents generation. Just in case in would hurt or irritate your ex, make sure as already suggested that you keep things between you and if not seeing her regularly is as hard on you as it is on her, perhaps you can arrange to keep in touch via phone calls every once in a while, as long as he's not visiting her at the time of your call. Have a code like, 'nows not a good time" to know your ex is there, and call back another time.
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I think it would be a very nice thing to do.
You keep the letter between you and her after starting with words like. "John and I broke up so expectantly I did not have a chance to say good-by or for the warm welcome I received from you and your family."
From there you can go on to say what you enjoyed doing with her and what you will miss by not seeing or being with her. Keep it short and to the point. You can close with something like, "I hope the break up between me and John does not mean we can't still be friends.
This closing leaves the door open for her to respond if she wishes.
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If you keep it very short, and full of nothing but gratitude, with no expectation of a response of any kind... Then I think it's all right, even sweet.
Perhaps she'll feel a bit awkward, but she will probably also be glad to be appreciated. The important part is not to leave her feeling that you expect a response, or to be included in any way in the future. Just to say thank you for all she has done.
Who gives a rat's ass what your ex thinks? He forfeited his right to any opinion on your actions when he broke up with you. That's what a break up is. You want to say something nice to his mom, go ahead. His feelings are really not that important.
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