It sounds to me like you just need to call your friend and get things straightened out. Explain to her that you felt she was asking rudely where you were on Monday, so it caused you to think that she was mad at you. And the reason that you didn't want to come to her other friend' locker was because you were waiting for another friend of yours.

Just explain things instead of letting all of these rumors make you upset. You'll be surprised at how much better it is to actually be communicating with the girl instead of hearing it from the girl's friends.

-TheTeenGirl

I think that you should definetly wait until she cleans this mess up that she and this guy made together. She won't even break-up with this guy yet because she's worried about how he'll take it.

Besides, when you come out of a relationship where you were living together and was close, then you need space before you can move on with someone else. I'm not saying that this girl doesn't like you anymore than a friend, but she needs space to overcome all of these plans that she has coming in her life. When she's settled in a new home or when he moves out, give her some more time and then try getting back to the way things were.

But for now, just be supportive of her choices and what she's going through. A girl really likes a guy who will be there just as much when he's a friend, it will make her feel like you can treat her with respect while you aren't her boyfriend.

-TheTeenGirl

Sometimes when you find you and someone fighting a lot and getting on each other's nerves, it usually means that the both of you need a little time apart or not as much time as you spend together.

Being best friends doesn't mean agreeing on everything. If you best friend walked, talked, and acted just like you, you'd get annoyed of her fast. But she's a different person, she has different views on things in life than you do and that's normal.

When you find that you both are in a disagreement, just listen to her opinion and then change the subject to avoid a fight. Besides, you never know, if you heard her opinion, you may try to open up to that thought and truly wonder how she sees it that way. Don't put her opinions down and if you find that she's putting yours down, let her know that you feel disrespected. If she continues to push, then suggest hanging out later or just say that you believe one thing and she believes another and that should be the end of it. No wasting your friendship debating.

-TheTeenGirl

Well, this really has to suck for you, but it will always take a lot of time to get over someone for everyone-so it isn't just you.

I'm not sure what came over this guy, but the best that you can do is remind yourself that he couldn't even tell you in person that he wanted to break-up and the fact that he went after your best friend makes him just plain wrong for a boyfriend.

I know it's hard to think about him and know that it's over, but everytime you cry over him, it's just another baby step to getting over him. So don't feel like things are getting worse when you cry because it's getting better from there. Crying is our way of draining our emotions and feelings out and it truly helps because when you stop crying finally, you feel better than before. And if it doesn't, then that's alright too, some days you'll feel better after crying and then there are days where you just can't seem to feel any happier.

You aren't wasting your time liking him. It's not your fault that you have feelings for this guy, so don't feel ashamed that this guy truly treated you wrong and you still like him because it's normal and it happens to everyone.

Whether he's a player, a jerk, or whatever you might be thinking-it doesn't matter. He is now out of your life and you don't have to or need to find out why he ended it or what kind of guy he is. I know you might be curious about his life, but do whatever you can to stay out of it. If he's still on your buddy list online, take him off of it or start a new screen name and never check if he's online. It will make you go insane and upset if you keep trying to wait for him to talk to you or if you read his profile a lot or a Xanga site that he might have. Don't stay updated with his life, stay updated with yours.

Don't try to find out about his exes or anything about him anymore. Besides, you have a great best friend by your side whose willing to take care of you. She turned down this guy for you and he truly deserved it and that's something you should really think about.

-TheTeenGirl

I think it's great that you're willing to help your hard-working sister, but you have to act like a teacher. And a good teacher waits for someone to figure out the answer and if they can't, they explain it more.

It's not like she's taking a while to answer because it gets on your nerves. She's thinking and trying really hard to understand. It's like being in class and when the teacher asks you a question and you are trying to think about it, they don't start yelling at you. They wait until you take a guess or admit that you are clueless.

When your sister starts to get upset that you explained it wrong, tell her it was your mistake and that you'll try explaining better. If she still gets agravated about it, just suggest that you both cool off and wait a little later to finish.

While she's trying to figure out the answer to a certain question, just think about how you are going to explain it better if it turns out that she doesn't know, but don't get mad because she can't understand it.

-TheTeenGirl

Well aren't you lucky?

Fred: This guy sounds like he has a lot of issues going on in his life and can't seem to put it together right now. So I'd probably cross him out because he just might be worried more about himself and how his life is going even when your life isn't going well. He needs a better outlook on life before dating.

Tao: This guy could be a winner. Especially if he tends to end relationships when you are available. So maybe you should keep him open.


Yoh: There's nothing wrong with getting back together with an Ex-boyfriend. But, hopefully you'd both be able to work through that misunderstanding instead of bringing back up the past. I'd say he's alright too.


Leo: Again, he sounds like a winner too. Romantic and friendliness are great qualities. Maybe you should consider this guy over your ex Yoh because you may find things to be more interesting starting with someone new.

Tony: This guy sounds great too. He's had a childhood crush on you and that's like having a soulmate. Who knows, maybe he can really make you happy like he's always wanted too.

Richie: Intellegence is a great quality in a guy. But I hope this wouldn't have to do with him being Rich. Anyway, maybe he's the one.

Reid: Again, it's not bad to get back with your ex-boyfriend. But, maybe if he's popular with the ladies, then maybe you should try a guy whose not as outgoing with his popularity.

I'd say that you should try things with Leo all-together. But what actually matters is that you feel happy with your decision. And don't rush in to make a decision, maybe you need more time to figure out which guy can truly make your day and adores you.

-TheTeenGirl

The thing is that you are not this guy's girlfriend. So you can't call him on dancing with another girl or anything that upsets you.

As for what you're hearing from him, he doesn't have interest in this other girl and if he likes you, then I think everyone around him will get that later on and leave him alone.

Who knows why he was giving you strange looks that night, but maybe he saw that you were hurt and couldn't really understand why. I know it may come across as obvious to anyone, but sometimes guy's don't really catch onto that.

I'm not sure what it is that you want to hear about you not even being able to speak to him but if you don't start talking he'll start thinking you are ignoring him. If you know for sure that the feelings are there, then maybe you should have a friend get you both together or confess your feelings.

-TheTeenGirl

I think you're being a little selfish when it comes to this guy.

I mean, your friend probably still has feelings for this guy and it's absolutely wrong to betray her feelings and get with him. Whether you are hardly friends anymore or not, you wouldn't just be losing her as a friend, it would be like creating an enemy out of her. It wouldn't be just the both of you not talking. What happens when you and this guy break-up and you miss her as a friend and she doesn't take you back?

You asked what is the big deal about you being his new girlfriend, I will tell you: The big deal is that if you have strong feelings for someone and they break your heart, it will be hard enough seeing another girl being with him, that is hard enough. But when she sees that her own friend is the new girlfriend, that is ten times worse. It's betrayal.

So maybe you should think about someone else in the situation other than yourself and your own happiness.


[ EDIT: Critisizing you was not my intention in my advice. Basically, you are asking how to make him get over feeling like he's going to hurt your friend when you two get together. You aren't asking anything about hurting people. And then you are adding in your Additional info how their relationship wasn't that great anyway. That's not considering other peoples feelings. That is finding excuses to be with him and you want someone to tell you that it's ok to hurt your friend's feelings. And you aren't going to hear that from me. If you are not going to accept an answer that doesn't assure you that it's ok to be with him, then just be with him because you could care less whether the other people on here tell you that it wouldn't be right. So do the columnists a favor and don't waste their time. One more thing: You mentioned the question

"if she didn't wanna be jealous she should have stayed with him... happiness of others has to stop just because she would be jealous? .... "

No, you don't get it at all. You are her friend. This isn't about the fact that she broke up with him and why. This is about the fact that she isn't over this guy and it wouldn't be right for her own friend to be his new girlfriend. I could care less how great your friendship is at the moment, you both know each other and you used to be best friends, so don't you think you can still respect her just because your friendship isn't as great as it used to be?

Whatever. What a waste of my time]

-TheTeenGirl

Well, I think she should just end it with her boyfriend right now instead of waiting until the last day of school. I understand that they want to be together as much as possible, but she needs to start the healing process right now instead of still hugging him or kissing him as if they are still a couple.

You should let her know that she'll feel a lot better if she'd just end things right now instead of waiting.

As for you: There isn't anything that you can say or do that will take her pain away, but when she's feeling down or crying, try asking her to talk to you about it and listen to her for a while as she vents her feelings to you. Always check on her eveyday and try telling her that it's ok and that she will get through it and she isn't alone.

And mostly, try getting her to go places with you to spend sometime away from home. When you are feeling depressed, it helps a lot when you go out and try laughing with friends even though it's hard. When your friend cries to you, she's just wanting comfort. She wants to feel like everything is ok and that someone cares and that's what you should be to her. Someone that will help her and care for her.

-TheTeenGirl

I know this may not be an option for you, but a dog attacking your daughter is a good enough reason to move. It's about protecting your child, and if your neighbors are stupid enough to have a dog that attacked your daughter and then has the nerve to make fun of the scars that the dog left, then you should be living somewhere else.

You know for sure that you'll never get things straightened out with them, and you have to do what you have to do. You've done everything you could to make these neighbors happy. And as much as it may hurt to hear, that really ticks me off that you didn't take you neighbor to court for their dog attacking her. You said that she is now his age and this happened 10 years ago. So she was about 7 or 8. That is horrid.

I mean, not only did you let them get away with it, but apparently it wasn't a good enough reason for you to move to keep your daughter safe. That really bothers me and you need to make it right by getting out of that situation. Your neighbor has never been greatful for the sacrifices you've made to make them happy. I consider them lucky that they didn't get taken to court and sued.

Don't sit around in that house and wait for an apology. It won't happen as you are aware of and even if he did apologize, it will never make up for him making fun of your daughter's scars and for his mom's stupidity of not doing a thing about her children.

Look, now I may have misunderstood your situation to a certain extent, but I do know that you need to move. Get an apartment or wherever you can go that is best for your family. I know you may not be expecting advice from a 15 year old girl, but it's the right thing to do when it's leaving permanant marks on your family.

-TheTeenGirl

I wouldn't say that you are falling in love. You have a big crush on this guy is what you've got.

Falling in love happens when you've actually been with someone for a while. Plus, there aren't really symptoms or signs of falling in love. You've got the signs of a huge crush, which I'm sure that is the answer you are looking for. There is no doubt in my mind that you don't feel something great for this guy.

When people ask questions if whether a guy likes them or not, it's really hard to answer because you have to see the way the guy interacts with you. It takes more than a description of what he says or does.

If you are noticing a change in the way he looks at you or is treating you nicer, then I'd say he's got his eye on you. I'm not sure if you are the kind of girl to be upfront with your feelings, but maybe you should let him know how you feel about him. And if not, then keep flirting and day-dreaming about him until he steps up and asks you out.

-TheTeenGirl

Don't be hard on yourself. Likely your problem is fear of getting hurt if you have been hurt in the past or if you are just scared in general.

If you find yourself jerking away from a lot of guys, maybe you aren't quite ready to be with someone yet or you should keep going with the guy and try learning to trust and get over your fears.

Besides, it's not like you have to find your husband right now. You'll probably go back and forth with a lot of guys. Take it easy and try understanding yourself instead of beating yourself down.

-TheTeenGirl

You're right, you can't trust this guy because he gets drunk and does stupid things, which is a good enough reason to not ever be with him again.

Missing him and feeling like you love him isn't a good enough reason to get back with him either. You can't stop a guy from drinking, you don't have that much power over him, if he wants to quit drinking that's his decision and he is the only one who can make it happen. And that's ok because you have the power to decide for yourself if you really want to be with a guy who drinks or does drugs.

You should make the decision right now to call it quits for good. It isn't about what he did in the past, the present matters. And in the present he gets drunk and does stupid things which is why you should get him out of your head.

-TheTeenGirl

What really catches my eye is the fact that he won't let you back away for him to be with this girl because he's scared he will hurt you.

That says that he does want to be with this girl and really does want to act on these feelings for her, but he's too scared about the way you'll react to him breaking up with you. That is all what's really stopping him. It's nice that he wants to protect your feelings, but that's not a good enough reason to stick around with you.

I know you are probably really stressed out and depressed from everything he seems to be putting you through, but don't let yourself think that you can't live without this guy because that's so far from the truth. Sometimes relationships will last a long time and things will happen as much as we don't want them to. But I have to say that you are really handling this well. Most girl wouldn't be considering getting out of the relationship because the love that they have for that guy would blind them of everything that's going on.

Maybe a litle story of mine can help you. I'm actually going through a really tough break-up. I was with this guy for two years and he did end up leaving me for someone else and it's been about 4 weeks since the whole thing happened. I can't decribe to you the feeling I've had or having to you, but the best part of the story is that I am getting through it. I have my bad days and I have my good ones. The good ones always happen when I'm with my friends who support me and comfort me when I am depressed. Sometimes I do need time alone, but I always try to limit that time and keep busy because then I'm not sitting alone and feeling like crap.

The point is that all of this time I've done nothing but told myself that this guy is my life and without him, life doesn't exist or isn't right anymore and I couldn't have been more wrong.

If anything, you should tell your boyfriend that you do really know that he wants to be with this girl and that being scared isn't an excuse for staying with you. Try not thinking of all of this as a depressing phase, think of this as a new beginning in your life. It may be very bumpy at first, but it will all fall into place when you get back on your feet.

-TheTeenGirl

I think it's normal to feel insecure around your best friend, but just because all of these guys don't want to be all over you, it doesn't mean that you aren't pretty or wanted.

Besides, this was a party where all of her past friends would be there, if you knew them I'm sure you'd of fit in and had fun. Being the girl that every guy wants to make out and flirt with isn't exactly the biggest deal. It doesn't make you less attractive or less interesting than she is. Honestly, you sound like the kind of girl who doesn't get drunk at parties or drinks at all which is great but maybe you should stop going to drinking parties with your best friend.

When everyone else is drunk and you are the only one sober, it has to boring and just not fun at all. It's almost like havig to keep your friend up while she's trying to do stupid things as she's drunk.

What you need to do is have fun and be a teenage girl like your best friend is. If you have a problem with your looks that bothers you, try fixing it and if it's not fixable then learn to love it. You never know, a certain trait of your appearance could be found attractive to some people so don't sweat it and have fun.

-TheTeenGirl

Whether the both of you are in love or not, being fourteen shouldn't be a time where you are thinking about sex.

Everyone will be in this intense relationship where they truly believe that they are in love, and they may be, but you don't know whether you will actually be with this person for the rest of your life. And everyone will always always think that their situation is different, but it's not. It would be so hard to have sex with someone and then end up breaking up with them later on. It would hurt ten times worse than just a really healthy relationship without sex.

You truly are too young and it's great that ou realize that. But now you just need to realize that just because you and your boyfriend aren't having sex, it doesn't mean that you aren't as close or as in love as couples who are having sex. Sex doesn't really mean you are more in love than other couples who aren't having sex.

A year is a pretty long time for a teen relationship, but trust me, the both of you have tons more to learn about love and sex for all of the years to come and you should definetly wait to learn all of thatb instead of living in the moment.

-TheTeenGirl

The best thing for you and him is to just put an end to this relationship. It's four months into the relationship and you've both already cheated on each other, that's just too unhealthy.

Besides, you both are living a lie. He probably doesn't know that you've cheated on him multiple times and you're lucky that you've found out that he's cheating too. You both havn't even confronted these issues.

The thing is that if you have the urge to cheat and feel like you will for sure, then do the current guy you are with a favor and dump him before you run off with somebody else. Cheating damages people and plays with their emotions so badly and you have to take that into consideration. You can seriously ruin future relationships that will actually matter. When you are married you don't want to tear it up by cheating.

What you should do is when you feel the urge to do something with another guy, just don't do it. Think about how wrong it would be to hurt this guy's feelings. You have control over this problem, you can control what you do with a guy. Take that control and channel it toward this. If you can, get out of the situation.

-TheTeenGirl

I understand that you feel like everything in this friendship is ruined. The reason that you two aren't as talkative and hanging out anymore is because of the tension between the two of you.

You were both good friends at one time, so after you dated things became harder. It's normal that he's not looking at you or talking to you. This is suppose to happen for a while until he gets over you.

But, you have to decide if you really do want him back as a boyfriend or you want that really good friendship you had with him. I think that you might be wanting him back as a boyfriend because you don't like the way things are now so you'd do anything to stay in contact with him which isn't a good enough reason to try getting back with him. I think deep inside you really just want the friendship back and everything back to normal which makes sense and is normal.

But if you know for sure that you want him back as your boyfriend, it can't hurt to tell him that you've had a lot of time to think your actions over and you feel like you've made a mistake by putting an end to the relationship.

If you really think that deep down you just want the friendship, the only thing you can do is wait for all of the tension to clear up more and then you both could try talking again later on. When you make small talk, just keep it that way. Besides, he's not going to get over you by having big conversations with you everyday. Just ask him how he is every once in a while or leave him alone because he probably needs space to clear his head.

-TheTeenGirl

Well, I don't know a whole lot about certain backgrounds and religions, but don't you think that if the both of you had been together for almost two years that you'd already know that his mom wouldn't accept it because of your background?

It seems a little odd to me that this all comes as a shock to you because I think that you both would know by now that it wouldn't work out, especially if he was planning on not going against his mother. I mean, it was stupid of him to get with you in the first place if marriage weren't going to work out between the two of you.

I'm starting to get the feeling that maybe I'm not quite understanding this, but my point is that he's made up his mind about you. He's not going to marry you because of his mother and I find that to be a little ridiculous. Religion can really get in the way of things, and if you both agree on those important topics like background and religion, there's no reason why you shouldn't be able to get married.

Listen, we all go through tough experiences with love. We tend to convince ourselves that we need this person and without them there is nothing to live for which is untrue. I know you can't imagine your life without this guy, but life can go on without him and it probably will at this point. It's not an easy thing to get through, but it's a fact that you can do it without him and you can find another man who will actually think things through before deciding that he's just going to obey his mommy. He needs to be a man and not a mommy's boy. He's too immature.

As much as you hate to hear, your mom is kind of right when she says for you to end things. And even if you don't end up ending things, he will end things eventually because of this problem. Don't wait for him to end things either, that's a huge mistake, you both can't be unmarried for the rest of your lives. I doubt that your mom doesn't understand you love this guy, and I really do understand that, but sometimes loving and caring for someone won't keep you and him on your feet. Actually, love is never enough. It takes more than truly being in love with someone for it to work out. You've got morals, religion, politics, and family values.

You have to keep telling yourself that you can go on without this guy. Besides, he's the first guy you've been with, and that's normal when it comes to breaking up. It's not likely that you'll end up spending the rest of your life with your first love. When you go through something this painful, you have to reach out to your friends and family until you are healed. And remember, crying and the anger that you will have is the healing process, it's not a moment of weakness when you cry. It's getting better and healing each time.

-TheTeenGirl

Well, it's obvious that you should break up with him, the only thing that's stopping you is how he will feel and that's great that you really care about his feelings, but it's not a good enough reason not to break up with someone.

Besides, you should think about this. It's a month into the relationship and he already means so much to you. I don't think so. The only way I see that being true is if you both were good friends before you dated.

As much as it hurts, he has to know that you aren't on the same page as he is. So do the hard thing and tell him it's over, there's no nice way to break-up with someone, but you can let him down gently. Just tell him that you just aren't feeling the same anymore.

-TheTeenGirl

My name is Erin and I am now 18 years old. You may realize through out looking at my column, some of you love me and some of you flat out hate me. There's really no gray area with me I guess you can say.

I haven't given advice here in so long and it's only because I got caught up in life. But I'm more mature than I ever thought I could be.
So anyway I'm here again. It's been a long time, but I still love giving advice and still plan on it in the future.

Everyone should feel free to Private Message me for advice, I can be harsh, but I'm always trying to help someone by giving them the truth they need.

About My Ratings:
I enjoy ratings. And if I ask a question on here, I always rate the person. If you work hard to give advice, you deserve to be rated.

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