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i like my friends ex boyfriend
My friend, who I used to be best friends with, used to go out with this guy that I like now. They had gone out for 7 months. I talked to him, and told him that I like him, and he said he likes me as well. I went to my friend and asked her what she would do if me and her ex went out, and she said that she probably wouldn't be able to be friends with me anymore. Her ex is still friends with her, and doesn't want to hurt her feelings. I kind of feel the same way, but I'm leaning more towards not being her friend anymore anyway because we barely ever get along anymore. I really want to go out with this guy, but I don't know what to do, because I don't want my friend getting hurt, and he doesn't want to hurt her as well. Any suggestions?
-- How would I convince him to not care what she thinks, and just go out with me? she broke up with him anyway, so what's the big deal?
Please help me.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
If she was a true friend she woiuld let both of ya'll be happy and not interfere. If you like him and he likes you then it doesn't matter what she thinks and if she is threating you with your friendship then she's maybe jealous. If you want to convince him tell him you or his ex girlfriend. If he chosse her then you really have know choice.
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I think you're being a little selfish when it comes to this guy.
I mean, your friend probably still has feelings for this guy and it's absolutely wrong to betray her feelings and get with him. Whether you are hardly friends anymore or not, you wouldn't just be losing her as a friend, it would be like creating an enemy out of her. It wouldn't be just the both of you not talking. What happens when you and this guy break-up and you miss her as a friend and she doesn't take you back?
You asked what is the big deal about you being his new girlfriend, I will tell you: The big deal is that if you have strong feelings for someone and they break your heart, it will be hard enough seeing another girl being with him, that is hard enough. But when she sees that her own friend is the new girlfriend, that is ten times worse. It's betrayal.
So maybe you should think about someone else in the situation other than yourself and your own happiness.
[ EDIT: Critisizing you was not my intention in my advice. Basically, you are asking how to make him get over feeling like he's going to hurt your friend when you two get together. You aren't asking anything about hurting people. And then you are adding in your Additional info how their relationship wasn't that great anyway. That's not considering other peoples feelings. That is finding excuses to be with him and you want someone to tell you that it's ok to hurt your friend's feelings. And you aren't going to hear that from me. If you are not going to accept an answer that doesn't assure you that it's ok to be with him, then just be with him because you could care less whether the other people on here tell you that it wouldn't be right. So do the columnists a favor and don't waste their time. One more thing: You mentioned the question
"if she didn't wanna be jealous she should have stayed with him... happiness of others has to stop just because she would be jealous? .... "
No, you don't get it at all. You are her friend. This isn't about the fact that she broke up with him and why. This is about the fact that she isn't over this guy and it wouldn't be right for her own friend to be his new girlfriend. I could care less how great your friendship is at the moment, you both know each other and you used to be best friends, so don't you think you can still respect her just because your friendship isn't as great as it used to be?
Whatever. What a waste of my time]
-TheTeenGirl
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hey, well friends come before guys. also you never date your frends ex, expessically if she doesnt want you to. thats just like the rules of girl world. cait♥♥
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If you ever want to be her friend again then of course you shouldn't go out with him, friends always come first and to be disloyal is the worst thing that anyone could be. NEVER date a friends ex. Ever.
If you don't want to be friends anymore (i.e. you don't care) then do what you want.
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