Age:
28Member Since:
December 1, 2010Answers:
3046Last Update:
December 22, 2014Visitors:
56843Favorite Columnists
Dragonflymagic
solidadvice4teens
rainhorse68
AdviceMistress
adviceman49
Jasmine23
Razhie
NinjaNeer
LaMarionnette
flare
nascarfan1987
more...
about
I am straight to the point, My advice is given based on my opinions of what YOU write. I may not always tell you what you want to hear but I am not here to sugar coat shit.
I am honest, I am blunt, At times an asshole but one thing I can promise, I'll never lie.
advice
is it cheating if you get a blow job from a girl who isnt your girlfriend?
Yes it is.
My wife is having an affairs with another man.and she is not she called this man in my house every day on phone.she even said. She want to be with this man.advise me should I devoice her for him?
If your wife isn't happy in the marriage then yes, you two should file for divorce. It would be wrong to keep someone in a marriage that is not happy.
I Have sex with a virgin an i didn't disvirgin her but now she is pregnant. Is that possible and if yes how? Am 21 years old
If you and your girlfriend had intercourse and the penis came in contact with her vagina then yes, She can become pregnant.
If you did not put your penis in her vagina nor did sperm have any sort of contact, Then she is lying.
If you do not believe she is pregnant then have her show you the pregnancy test, If you still don't believe the child is yours well..........Wait after the birth and get a DNA test done if you believe she was unfaithful to you.
I have known this guy from high school for almost 7 years now, we talked/hooked-uo off and on all through hs and we've officially been dating for 4 months now. He is a virgo and is relatively shy and emotionally reserved which makes things kinda of hard. We usually talk and text everyday, and his phone has been broken for the past month or so. Even still, he has managed to stay in touch, however the screen on the phone is cracked making it a little difficult... and he has physically demonstrated this to me. However, lately he's been acting different. I haven't seen him in almost a week, and he usually wants to see me every couple of days or so. He still initiates conversations sometimes... but they don't seem to last. I texted him on thursday telling him I missed him and got no response for two days after calling him three times and texting him twice. FInally when I texted yesterday (saturday) saying that if he needs space or he wants to break up he needs to just say so... and he responded. He said I should know that his phone is messed up and that he had just gotten a replacement. He continued the conversation normally, saying he missed me and asking how I've been... so I figured everything is okay. He texted me again today saying hey, we exchanged a few texts then when he asked me what I did last night and I responded asking what he did... he completely stopped answering. I texted him again with "..." and 4 hours later... no answer. WHAT IS GOING ON? why would he be doing this and how should I react? It's driving me crazy... our relationship appeared to be perfectly fine.. we just went to the movies on monday and he paid and acted as affectionate and normal as always. Someone help!
Your boyfriend may be feeling smothered, Not all guys will admit it but this could be the case. Your question tells me that you are sketchy of his behavior maybe your boyfriend doesn't like the idea that you are constantly wanting to know what he is doing and expecting him to text you all the time. Most guys don't like texting 24.7 that is how guys are. We are lazy and like doing things at our time of convenience. If you feel the need then take a day off and see if he contacts you, Try giving the guy his space. If he doesn't contact you at all in a days time then tell him you feel you two need to sit down and talk about somethings. Talk it out with HIM, None of us know the exact situation of your relationship and we are limited on giving advice.
I recently found out my wife had an affair with my brother about 12 yrs. ago. Not sure if I should confront her about it or not. Feel like I've played a fool for a long time. Unsure what to do.
I sort of disagree with Adviceman
Whether it was a one time or not, I'd still confront her but that is just me. Cheating on someone puts a scar in your relationship/marriage no matter if it was just a one night stand or not.
Everyone has different opinions on cheating......Mine is a zero tolerance no what, ifs or and's about it.
One thing you would need to bare in mind is that if you do decide to confront your wife, Know that it may not all go over so well, She could end up denying it.....and from there on your trust with her will be in the gutter. Ignoring the situation can only put thoughts into your head and you would likely always be wondering "Has she only cheated once?, Will she cheat again? Can I trust her? etc." Personally, I wouldn't want to ignore the situation to live in what could possibly be nothing but lies. If she were to deny the whole thing again you would only know then that your wife still to this day cannot be trusted. If you feel you can overcome it and you trust your instincts that she is being faithful and will from here on out then try and put it behind you but my opinion....I'd confront her about to see whether she is willing to openly admit it and if she is in denial then she's gone. This all depends on how accepting you are of the situation of course.
okay, my friend is fourteen and the guy she is with is 17 they are only holding hands and kissin can they still date? or will he get into truoble?
I wouldn't recommend it
Adding on to what Tuscan said, Nowadays in some states 17 is pretty much classified as an adult. If he ever were to get caught and charges were to be filed he could be tried as an adult. Date someone your own age.
hello, this question is actually for a guys. i've been with my boyfriend for a year and half. we love and care for each other. but sometimes when we quarrel or argue he becomes really really stubborn and he starts saying,' it worries me that we have not much in common'. what does he mean by we have not much in common? is he thinking about breaking up or what? he never says sorry but he does talk to me and comfort me afterwards. help guys. thanks.
Not having much in common refers to not having the same interest, You two don't like much of the same things.
I am at a point in my relationship at which I am either out of options, or not emotionally intelligent enough to know how to handle it.
My boyfriend has anger issues. Not violent or anything, but he definitely has issues. He's told me they stemmed from his childhood and he's always gotten mad or annoyed over small things and I am dealing with it now that we are out of the "honeymoon" phase where he was happy just being around me. I, on the other hand, am the complete opposite. I never get angry, and I don't know how to handle it when people do. I try to "fix" the situation and end up emotional because I'm in love with this guy and I hate seeing him upset. But no matter what I say, I can't fix it. Sometimes, he gets mad over things that I do, sometimes, its got nothing to do with me. Still, he becomes silent, acts cold, and stays that way for a long time. The fact that I get emotional about it also bothers him a lot, but the thing is I truly cannot help it because I care about him so much. I've looked up ways to deal with people that have anger issues and the typical advice is keep cool, don't give in to it, don't try to fix it etc. But I cannot seem to do that no matter how hard I try. Do you have any tips for me that may help me deal with him, or things that I can say to make him realize he's putting a huge strain on our relationship by being the way he is. He's told me before he cant help it but I'm getting to a point where I don't know if I can take it anymore, it's truly upsetting me that hes always mad about something, yet at the same time do not want to lose him because he is one of the most genuine, sweet, good people I know and he loves me very very much. I feel like there is a right and a wrong way to handle this and I've been doing it all the wrong way... help please
He needs to seek some sort of counseling for his problem, It sounds like your boyfriend has anger over other issues and things going on his life. Someone who lives in misery everyday cannot be happy in a relationship. You sit down with him and talk about your concerns, You tell him that his behavior is starting to drain your out of energy and your not happy with the way things are going. If your boyfriend refuses to seek help then you have two options: 1, You stay in a relationship and be miserable or 2, You dump him and you move on and meet someone else. Your boyfriend cannot magically change his behavior on his own, Anger is something that needs to be sort out with a therapist. If he cares, He'll do something to fix it but if he doesn't get help....I would start to realize he just isn't committed helping neither himself or your relationship. Love, Is a risk you take and nothing last forever.
You said right here: " I know and he loves me very very much." If you really want to put it too the test, Then recommend him get some counseling. You cannot change your boyfriend, We can help someone improve but we can't change them. Talk to him and see what he says but if he refuses to help himself then end the relationship and move on. Nobody needs to be with someone who isn't willing to help them and the person they are with.
My new puppy is just being terrible. We've had her for about 6 weeks now. She thinks she is the "alpha", she bites and growls and me and my parents, and my parents want to get rid of her. She's our first dog so we are a little inexperienced. But, today she ran off because she was biting me and I was trying to get her inside. She wouldn't even come in when we called her and brought treats. She made me cry later that day. I always thought my dog would end up being faithful, loyal, and loving. I know she's just a puppy but I don't think she even cares or feels guilty for leaving scars on my skin that will last years. I am just really depressed.
I disagree with DN on the whole dog may not be right...
Dogs can make great pets but that comes with time and patience. Your dog is a puppy, It thinks and acts just like a child. You cannot raise a child without teaching it right from wrong. It can takes up too 6 months for a pet to adjust to a new home, At 6 weeks she is still semi new to her environment.
First, You train your dog.
If she bites you sternly tell her no and walk away. The more you tell the puppy not to bite the more she will begin to understand. As far as getting the dog to come, Don't use treats to bribe them. That will only get the dog to come too you because it thinks they will get something. Treats should only be given to a pet when they have done a good deed. Not every dog is going to be the perfect dog, Sometimes it takes quiet a bit to find the right one. This dog could end up being a fantastic dog but you are expecting too much from her at such a young age in a very short time. Puppies are like babies, They require time and patience. If you need more information on Husky, You can always google up information. However, I wouldn't give her away until you try different techniques, I think you could really improve her behavior by simply spending time with her. As time goes on and she gets a little older she may be faithful, loyal and loving. I think it would be unfair to let her go without really giving her a chance. I have had many dogs in my lifetime and at this time my mother has 3, Although I do not live with my mother.
Let me explain something...
One of the dogs my mother owns is a blue hound ( Max) When we first got Max he would pee around the house, bark and constantly beg for food, wouldn't go near anyone. It took Max about a year to fully adjust to the home. Every animal adapts at their own pace. However, Max did eventually come around and he is a great dog who loves to sit with you on the couch.
Nevaeh is my Mothers female dog...When we first got her she was hyper, she would bite, growl etc. Nevaeh was a little difficult to work with but we trained her and worked with her and now she is 2 years old. Loving, Loyal and follows my mother around the house.
Time my friend.....Time
So about two and a half weeks ago I was hanging around the football field after a football game with one of my friends (were both cheerleaders, so we had to stay after to put up our mats and stuff). While I was carrying one of the mats to the locker room one of the guys on the football team was also hanging around (even though it was pretty late after the game). I know the guy, but we don't really hang out and stuff and only have a few mutual friends. Anyway, he called me over and I went to go talk to him and right away I knew something was weird. He started hitting on me and touching my arm and asking me if he could give me a ride home and what not. I said no and told him I had to go. But he grabbed me and pulled me into the guys' locker room. I tried to get away, but I was really no match for this kid. He had me pinned against a wall and was half trying to dry hump me/cover my mouth and half trying to get my skirt off, when thank God, my friend Jake found me. Jake plays football and had forgotten his phone in his locker and came back to get them. He shoved the other dude off me and was trying to get him to fight him but the other guy ran off.
Since then, the other dude hasn't admitted that he had physically forced me to do anything. Not much I can do to prove it so I kind of have to leave it at that. But the thing is... ever sicne then I've been feelings this weird attraction to Jake. Even though for years he's been like a brother to me... It's weird. I think it just may be because he rescued me, and I'm having some weird response to that... I really don't want to like him... haha he's a great guy and really hot but he's my friend and I don't want to ruin that and I'm not sure what to do. Any advice? By the way, I'm sixteen, girl. The guys are both seventeen.
First, If Jake saw the whole incident then you have a witness and should report it. You may not have any physical evidence but always tell an adult when something like that happens. Not telling someone is only letting the guy off the hook and if there is a next time you may not be so fortunate.
You may feel attracted to Jake because he was at the right place at the right time and did the right thing, However dating a friend is funny if you really don't want to ruin what you have then try to keep it strictly a friendship. It doesn't hurt to become closer to someone who helps you but dating a friend you've known for years is a risk you take and if he means so much......I wouldn't take that risk.
i am 18...my girlfriend is 16... we started having unprotected sex on july 27th.... since then we have had sex on AUG 4th,22nd,26th sept 5th and 6th... she found out she was pregnant last month...this is going in 9months into our relationship...i love her alot.... she is scared to talk to her mom... i have already told my dad... yet she is thinking of lifting soething heavy to killl the formation of the baby... i feel really bad...what should we do?
Trying to give yourself a miscarriage can not only harm the baby but she is putting herself in harms way. This is by far the stupidest way of trying to prevent pregnancy. Like I previously told you before if she didn't want a baby you two should of used precaution to prevent it from happening. Clearly, Your girlfriend isn't ready to be a parent she is not financially nor mentally ready. If you want to help her then sit down with her and suggest she stop trying to harm herself and the child and to consider adoption. That is probably the best thing for the baby and the both of you.
This morning i was laying in my bed in nothing but my bra and panties, waiting for my boyfriend to get home. All of a sudden, my male golden retreiver came up to me while I had my legs opened, started sniffing me down there, and began humping me. I felt the penetration and afterwards saw alot of dog sperm all over me and my sheets. Is it normal for him to do that and is it ok? Also, can I get pregnant because of this incident?
It is normal for dogs to hump things, However letting your dog do it is a completely different story. This is considered bestiality which can also be known as zoophilia and it is in many places and countries illegal.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zoophilia
Also, I somewhere read once how some women died from dog sperm. Here is the link to the story....
http://gawker.com/5819464/woman-dies-of-allergic-reaction-to-the-dog-she-had-sex-with
Honestly, This is very disgusting and no it is not okay. This is not only bestiality it is also classified as animal abuse. Animals cannot legally consent to sex, It is wrong.
No you cannot get pregnant from this. I highly suggest you to never let something like this happen again. Your dog is an animal and that just isn't right
Oh my gosh. So this guy and I met back in April and we called/texted for a little while. He seemed really nice. Just a little immature. He invites me to the movies one night and when I get there, he said there were no more seats for me and he couldn't "ditch his boys." I'm 20 and he's 19. I didn't think the age difference could be THAT drastic. But, he's super immature.
Then he told me he "could change." So, I started responding to his phone calls and stuff but it's not like I took him back in or promised him anything. This guy is so odd. He just shows up where I am sometimes and says hi and then walks away. My friends and family really aren't fond of him. He has a HUGE temper. He'll call me and tell me that he's so in love with me. And then when it takes me like 5 seconds to respond he says this conversation isn't going as planned. He also tells me that he wants me to make all the moves and be like super assertive. That's just not me... at all.
Idk, it's just weird and I feel kind of scared for some reason. Not like I can't sleep or anything like that. But, when he texts me, I start to get like a weird knot in my stomach. At night, he'll text me around midnight like all these cutsie things and during the day his temper comes back. I know this isn't the kind of guy I want for myself, especially if I'm uncomfortable around him. But... what do I do? I'm afraid to say something to him or not reply to him because of his temper.
I know this isn't good... that's why I'm asking for help and opinions
Your intimidated
The best way to get out of the relationship is to cut contact with him completely, Don't answer his text, Don't answer his calls, Remove him from facebook if you have too block him and leave him there. Reality is, Someone can't just magically change it doesn't work that way. You stated above in your question he was very immature, Clearly maybe a bit too immature to be associated with you. Dump him, If you feel uncomfortable dumping him in person or over the phone leave him a text message and don't respond. Every text message he sends you delete, This is the only way he will eventually get the point. If you can, I would block his number because people who are controlling generally have a nasty habit of stalking and harassing people when things don't go their way. If someone wants to play kiddie games, Learn how to play them back in a mature manner. Go off the grid, Cut all possible ways he can get in contact with you and whatever you do you do NOT contact him that is only going to feed into it. If this guy continues to harass you afterwards you take it too the police. However, In the meantime block his number on your phone if you can't then call the cell phone provider and tell him that you have a number you'd like to block they may charge you a fee of 10 bucks or so but that is a hell of a lot better than receiving numerous calls and text messages. You already know what you need to do but next time when someone says they will change don't be so vulnerable...
There's this guy at work and we have insaane chemistry.. lustful and sexual. We have joked around a lot about sex and stuff. He doesn't know that I like him. I'm not sure if he likes me but I'm scared I will be rejected. How do I hint to him that I want to be with him? After all is said and done I don't want it to be weird because we work together..
You probably don't want to hear it but dating a coworker is a very bad idea. Coworkers should strictly be work relationship only, Depending on the company some places have a no dating policy and if you were to get caught it could cost you your job. You are there to work, Not meet people and date. Flirting and telling each other sexual jokes on the job is very inappropriate.
If you like him, Fine. Nobody can stop you from dating someone. However, I recommend whatever you do to keep it out of the company. When you work you act professional, Take the job seriously etc. Outside of work you are generally free to do whatever you wish. Flirting and telling sexual jokes, I'm pretty sure this guy has picked up that you like him. From now on though, I'd keep it low key and stop flirting so much in a business. Neither would your boss or customers would be really comfortable to find their employers joking around and not taking the job seriously. If you want to talk to him, Wait until your shift is over and the appropriate time.
I'm female, 16 years old. I'm really worried because I've had symptoms like discharge, odor, and bleeding/brown stuff for like the past 3 months. I haven't ever been tested for anything and I regret it.
I've been in a bad relationship for a while and he's had sex with other girls and I've had sex with 2 other guys.
I'm wondering if I should let my mom know and go get tested (because I fear that I'm putting it off for too long... and I don't want things to get worse). Do you think I should? Or should I just wait for these "symptoms" to go away?
I'm scared and it's kinda embarrassing. Please try to put yourself in my place :/ thanks.
If this has been an on going problem for 3 months, You need to schedule an appointment with a Gynecologist. You could have discharge, STD, You could even have a bacterial infection and not even be aware of it. Tell mom and ask her to make an appointment, Something like this can easily be treated with medication.
i am 18 years old,my girlfriend is 16... we have been together for 9 months now... on july 27th we decided to start having unprotected sex..since then we have had sex on Aug 4th,22nd,26th and now sept 5th and 6th ... she found out she was pergnant last month.. and she is in denials of keeping the baby ratherless telling her mom.. i love her soo much but i really won't like her to kill the baby.. even if its now forming... what should we do...
This is tough
Your girlfriend is a minor, She is also the one carrying the baby and she pretty much has say on what she wants to do with her body. As a father, You are limited to what you can really do as far as that choice goes. It sucks......but that is the way it goes.
If your girlfriend is over 4 months pregnant, The abortion clinic will not be able to proceed an abortion as the fetus is now full grown. You both are young, At 16 your girlfriend is not ready to raise a baby financially nor mentally. Having unprotected sex was a pretty fucked up thing to do on both of your behalves.
The only other thing I can suggest, Is adoption. You can try to talk to her about it and see if you both can come to that agreement but if she is firm on abortion then as a women carrying the child she has the right to say. Like I said previously, There is not much you can do if she chooses to go through with it. If she doesn't want the baby, Then you both should of been smart to use a condom. Babies take up all your time, In order to raise a baby the proper way you need a full time job that pays more than 9 dollars an hour and you should be smart enough to know the rest of it.
Hey. So I’m a seventeen year old girl, dating a seventeen year old guy, and were both seniors. In all aspects, he’s a pretty much perfect boyfriend. We’ve been dating for three months and the only complaint I have is about one of his friends.
For about three years, he’s been really close to this girl. She’s sixteen, a junior. I knew when we first started talking that they were very good friends, and I could tell in just the way he talked about her that she meant a lot to him. But he assured me it was strictly a brother-sister type relationship. And while I trust him, it’s still been hard to always see it like that. She’s absolutely gorgeous, and a really sweet girl. I know I’m not ugly but she just has this way about her… she’s very very small. And he is very very very protective of her. And I don’t know, he doesn’t get that kind of protective of me (shes one of those, damsel in distress type that all guys love to "rescue" all the time). He is always taking care of her… And while yeah, I don’t need taking care of exactly, it still feels weird. Basically before we started dating they would talk on the phone or text every single day, hang out every weekend, he took her to prom… they were inseprapable. And he has reeeeeally cut back on how much he’s been seeing her. And I haven’t had to ask him to do that, and I know he doesn’t like it, but he does it. And while he doesn’t’ complain about it, or even acknowledge it, I know he misses her. But honestly, I don’t know what to do. I’m scared he’s gonna fall in love with her or something. I want him to be happy but I don’t want to get involved in his friendships or do anything that might break us up. And I feel selfish and guilty because I know she needs him and I know he really cares about her… but what am I supposed to do!?
On a side not, this girl and me do no get a long AT ALL. It’s a long story but she basically hates me because of something that happened between me and her friend…, which… well it’s complicated. But I don’t necessarily like her either? Yeah… so me hanging around her is kind of out of the question.
This girl doesn't like you because you are now in a position where she wants to be. It's obvious, She cares about him, He cares about her. There doesn't always need to be a reason to why someone doesn't like a person it could be no more then simple jealousy.
Although your boyfriend keeps on insisting that she is no more than a sister figure, If their relationship is making you feel insecure then you should sit down and express how you feel towards your boyfriend. Do it in a non controlling way. The only way to get dirt on someone is to dig for it. Like they say otherwise if you have a feeling about something.....That feeling may be right. :/
Dear Zane you answered my question about showering with my dad and i need to know more. I didnt think it was wrong and im still a little confused on why exactly it is because my dad loves me. Why is it so wrong, Ive done it since i was 5 and dad says its fine that we do. IM really confused! But i have apologized to my friends since reading your advice. But I dont want my dad to go to jail or anything. I live with my mom part time and she doesnt know. Should i tell her? Also I thought i would talk with my dad about it and ask him and he didnt like me bringing it up and we got into a huge fight! he slapped me and told me not to talk about it again! He came into the shower again and apologized later. It was the first time in ten years since i have showered without my dad. Im scared now and dont understand. What should I do?
Hello :)
Thank you for messaging me
Hun, You need to let your mother know what is going on, I know you firmly believe your father loves you but this is abuse not love. You are older now, A father and daughter can bond in many ways. They can fish together, They can play board games, They watch movies but taking a shower is inappropriate. I know you feel it is normal because you have been doing this since you were very little but it is not normal. Your father has been abusing you mentally, For you to believe that it is okay tells you that your father has manipulated you. You are your fathers daughter, As a role model your father should be showing you the way of life. Meaning, Telling you what is right from wrong and your father has failed to do that duty. This is considered incest, Insect is when you have a sexual relationship with a family member. It is illegal and against the law, You should report it to the police or your mother and let them handle it. I know that you are scared and you do not want your father to go to jail but you also must try and understand that your father has been wrong for many many years and needs to learn a lesson the hard way. I advise you too read up on sexual abuse and incestuous relationships to gain a better understanding of why it is wrong. Your father has crossed the line far too many times to be let off the hook lightly, You did not do anything wrong so don't be scared. Your father has done you wrong, He has abused you for years and now it is time to turn him in, As hard as it is sweetheart that is the right thing to do. Manipulating someone is not love, Your father has and continues to brainwash you into thinking what he is doing is right. Your father of course is going to deny what he is doing is wrong, Nobody likes to be caught red handed. Your father does not want to get into legal trouble. You have so far gotten about 5 people's opinion that is 5 adults telling you that it's not right.
if the hymen in the virgina is torn without the woman having sex does it mean that she is no longer a virgin
No, Generally in order to no longer be a virgin you would need to come in sexual contact with another person. Meaning intercourse
OK so I am 15/f and need some advice on how to get my friends to stop bugging me. So i shower with my dad till this day and I see nothing wrong with it nor does he. Its how we bond. Just cuz they dont do it doesnt mean its not normal right? My dad says its cuz they dont have the same bond with their dads as me and him. And they keep telling me stuff i dont need to hear. So my question is how do i get my friends to stop bugging me about showering with my dad
You are 15 years old, You are years past the stage of showering with your parents. This is wrong, This is perverted on your fathers behalf and it is sexual abuse and your father can very well be arrested.
There IS something wrong with it, You are 15 years old you are past puberty and this is your father. It is sick, Your father telling you there is nothing wrong with it sounds like he is manipulating you, He is abusing you mentally and sexually.
Adviceman is correct, Your father can be prosecuted and charged with sexual abuse, Incest, etc.
It is NOT normal to shower with any of your family members at the age of 15, Incest is a very serious charge. I advise you to not shower with your father or anyone in your family. Someone as old as you should not be showering with their parents, In fact I firmly believe a child shouldn't shower with their parents period. It is understandable if a parent had too sit in the bathroom while their 1,2,3 year old is in a bathtub but you are way past that stage. Your father should know better, He should know it is wrong. This is just sick and disgusting.