Female / 17 / Australia
I am having my 18th birthday party next month and I have planned most of it apart from a few things.
I am renting out a big rooftop apartment for two nights and having a party of about 15-20 people coming. Guests will hav to bring their own alcohol but I have no idea what foods to serve. There will be both boys and girls at the party.
Does anyone have an ideas for food?
Maybe if anyone even has ideas for what I can do to make the party more fun for everyone that would be great too.
Thanks to everyone who can help out!
xx
For a party that large, I'd serve a lot of different snacks that are easy.
Chips & dip, a veggie tray, a cold-cut tray, a cheese tray, breads... And since you're in Australia, I don't know what's down there or what they offer, but I'm sure it can't be that different... Here you can usually go to the grocery store and get ready-made salads, chicken tenders, and various other type of snack trays made for you at a lower cost than if you bought the ingredients yourself and tried to make the same thing. During Christmas (my family has 20+ members) my grandmother usually buys four to five of these trays so that everyone can eat whenever they want, whatever they want.
Another thing my grandmother does... She may cook a few dishes, but usually it's desert stuff. How about just a bunch of snack trays and then, say, bake a cake or something? After all, it's your birthday... People should be fussing over you, not the other way around :P
Best wishes and happy birthday in advance. Take care!
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I have had a CD account for about 10 years now that my parents set up for me when I was young. At one time it was up to 6000 dollars and the last time I received an update it was down to 3000 dollars. My parents tell me to leave it in and it will eventually go back up, but I am afraid with the failing economy that I will lose almost all of it, if I haven't already. I would like to take it out and spend 500 on back bills and save the rest to eventually put a down payment on a house. I am 24 female and I am good at saving money. Thanks
Are you sure that your account is a CD account? The reason that I ask is because you said that your account 'went down' 3,000 dollars... And that isn't possible unless someone made a withdraw.
CD's are not like stock. A CD account is more like a savings account. You're not investing the money in anything... The purpose of a CD account is to acrew interest.
Here is how it works... You dump your money into your CD account for a specific period of time. This period of time varies. It could be six months, a year, or two years. Then the question is, 'Why? What's the difference?' The difference is that the longer you agree to keep your money in the CD, the greater percent of interest you acrew. For example, a six month CD may only offer you .02% interest, while a year might be .03%, two years .04% and so on.
After the period of time that you have selected has ended, your CD comes up for renewal. You can keep your money in or take your money out. Let's say that you want to take your money out before your CD is up for renewal... You can, but you have to pay a penalization fee. The penalization fee may vary, but it certainly isn't half.
That would be the only way you would lose money from your account.
With the current, poor ecomony the best thing to do with a CD would actually be to KEEP IT IN THE CD. Because as the economy declines, the interest rate drops, and your money yields less of a return.
The best thing to do before making a decision... Is go to the bank and discuss your options with a customer service representative. While all banks must adhere to certain laws, all banks vary-a little anyway-in the products that they offer.
But the first thing to do... Find out if your CD is really a CD and, if it is, find out where the 3,000 dollars went. Because, like I said, you didn't 'lose' the money, someone took it out of your account.
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Hi, I really hope you can help; i've gotten mixed responses from others...
Basically, my BF discovered that in my senior year of college (I graduated last year) I had taken two semesters worth of judo classes and he thought this was really funny b/c I don't look like, I guess, a "typical" jock chick--that is i'm not muscular or buff or whatever...i'm your stereotypical "girly girl" in appearance--tall, skinny, blond hair, blah blah blah and I'm like 125 lbs....so he's laughing at me, calling me "judogirl", etc., and I was fine w/all that, if a little annoyed, but then he made a mistake: he challenged me to a wrestling match...and I beat him.
He outweighs me by like 40 lbs. and is pretty strong but he didn't understand that my judo skills would use his strength against him and he just couldn't believe I won. I figured it was a one-time deal, but he was so bent out of shape that he's challenged me several times since then, and I've defeated him every time. It would be OK if he didn't take it so seriously, but he just becomes this mean pouty jerk when he loses and keeps challenging me and now i've refused to wrestle him b/c it's no fun and I hate his sexist attitude as well. But refusing to wrestle just makes him angrier and he says stuff like "you're just afraid i'll figure out your 'tricks' and win...it's so annoying!
I've considered just faking it and letting him win but I don't REALLY want to do that b/c I'm proud of my skills, and just wish he would be too...plus when he baits me w/all this "you're just a girl" crap, it gets my goat and i'm more than happy to throw him to the floor and pin him when he gets too tired to fight me off...
Have you ever beaten a boy at something athletic--whether martial arts or sports--or know a girl who has? B/c maybe if I can tell him he's not the only one he won't feel so bad...
Actually, a lot of girls have beaten a lot of boys at fighting... (Go to FlutterbyMe's page for one example.) And a lot of other things too...
I've never beaten my fiance at wrestling or a fight. But... There have been several instances in our relationship when he felt like his masculinity was threatened. Once upon a time, he quit his job and his new job wasn't as great as he thought it was going to be. He ended up not having a job for a while... I ended up supporting us financially... Which was hard for him and was just as hard for probably many other men who have been in the same situation. Because even since the sexual revolution, since women started going to college and afterwards to work... A lot of men still feel responsible for providing for their families-even if they have a two income family.
The sexual revolution has taken a lot away from men. Many things that were once a sort of masculine confidence for men... Just aren't anymore. Just as women are struggling to find their place in the world, men are struggling too-just in a different way.
This situation is obviously the source of a lot of insecurity for your boyfriend. Probably doubly so because (and here I assume you are both in your teens, sorry if I'm wrong) he's currently in the middle of defining his own identity... And there aren't factors like current earning potential or ownership to tip the scales in his favor.
Bottom line: he's feeling insecure. That's why he keeps saying everything that he's saying. That's why he keeps challenging you. It's okay for him to feel insecure... But I suspect his behavior causes you to feel like he is disrespecting you in some way... And that isn't okay.
The most important tool in any relationship is communication. Whenever my fiance or I are feeling insecure about our relationship, or just ourselves in general, we try to talk about it. The other shoulders the responsibility of helping to reassure and validate.
So... Naturally, I would talk to my boyfriend about this situation if I were you. Since he doesn't want to admit that he's feeling insecure... You'll have to bring it up. I suggest you try to sound casual about it instead of confrontational. You also might want to start with the way that YOU feel when he says these things to you, in a non-accusatory way, instead of blatantly pointing out his own insecurity. For example, I might say, 'I know you're just teasing me, and you don't mean to hurt my feelings... But sometimes, when you say '.....' I feel disrespected. I'm also frustrated that you and I can't seem to move past something that I consider trivial.'
You may also want to point out, and I don't know if this is true-I'm just venturing a guess, that you may not necessarily be stronger than he is-but you have received martial arts training while he hasn't. He may have previously thought Judo was silly, but _it is_ a recognized method of self-defense. Also point out that you've worked really hard and are proud of your accomplishment and while he may only be 'teasing' sometimes the things he says make you feel like he doesn't recognize this accomplishment as being valid.
Whether he shares with you his reason for feeling insecure or not... Point out that just because you defeated him in a fight... Doesn't make him less of a man. A REAL man is defined by his actions and attitude in everyday life... By his fairness, how he treats the people he encounters, how he responds in situations, etc.
And close with the request that the subject be dropped completely. No more teasing about Judo or your yellow belt... No more saying that you only won because of luck. No more trying to put you down simply because he has a penis and you have a vagina.
I will tell you right now that this situation can go several ways. He'll either respond like a mature and rational adult and two of you will get past this... He could pretend that he isn't taking you seriously and the issue could pop up again... He could get really defensive and this could turn into a full blown fight. (And I hope that isn't the case.)
And while I'm sure the prospect of fighting is unpleasant and that you care for him... Pay close attention to his response. Because his response is going to tell you a lot about him and whether or not your relationship has a chance at success. If he can't admit how he's feeling, if he can't stop trying to put you down, if he can't HANDLE this situation... Well, that's a big red flag. I suggest, in that case, that you re-evalute your relationship and your feelings for him. Because, I hate to say it, it might be time for you to kick him to the curb and find someone _strong_ enough that will fully APPRECIATE YOU and share with you the same sense of pride at your recent accomplishment.
In any case, best of wishes. Sorry this was so long. ;)
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i have been prescribed to take 30 mgs Adderall XR (slow release) once a day.
after a while of taking it i discovered that i was becoming lightheaded every time i stood up, seeing stars, blacking out a little bit, having to hold on to something for a few seconds until i felt okay again.
it really worried me so i told my psychiatrist. she said it was probably the medication and that i should just be more careful when i stood up, not to worry about it. even a while after that it was still happening and really freaking me out.
on my own i decided to take 20 mg of regular Adderall (not the slow release) once a day, and the lightheadedness stopped almost immediately.
i haven't noticed any other weird side effects like that.
...did i do the right thing? will my psychiatrist be upset? is there something else i should do?thank you very much..
I am not a doctor, but I am certified to be a pharmacy technician. I don't know everything, but here is what I _can_ tell you...
From a technical standpoint you should only discontinue taking prescription drugs if you experience an allergic reaction. An allergic reaction is typically difined as 'difficulty breathing and/or the swelling of a tongue.' What you experienced was simple a side effect... And side effects can range from mild to severe.
Now... On a personal note... When I was younger, I was sick often and my doctor once tried to prescribe a drug called Bactrim. Nasea and vomitting were side effects, but my my side effects were so severe that I didn't feel that taking the medication was benefitial. I simply called my doctor, explained that I would rather be prescribed another drug, and he prescribed something else.
So, here is my suggestion: tell your psychiatrist that your are uncomfortable with the side effects that you are experiencing and ask about the possibility of a different drug or a lower dosage. It would be unprofessional for your psychiatrist to be upset with you and furthermore, you need to remember that you are the _customer_ and that he/she is providing you with a _service_. Your well-being is this professional's priority and they need to _listen_ TO YOU whenever you express discomfort, especially when you are talking about medication.
I also suggest that you discuss this with your doctor immediately. Drugs like Adderall effect the inhibitors in your brain... And this is why changing your own dosage or discontinuing the medication without the clearance of a doctor could prove to be dangerous. If you're worried, you could even run over to the nearest drug store and ask to speak with a pharmacist. A pharmacist can discuss the drug in detail with you and may even be able to advise you. But whether or not you speak to a pharmacist, still contact your doctor.
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I can't get some e-mails-like from my huband and a friend and who knows who else???These are people I know have tryed. I even got on my husbands computer and sent something to myself and it didn't come through----I use yahoo
Many email providers now equip customer accounts with something like a 'spam filter.' When you receive an email from a previously unknown address... That unrecognized email will be sent to something like a 'junk folder' instead of appearing in your inbox. Try checking your junk folder (probably located on a menu to the left of the screen.) Once inside, if you find the email from your husband, open the email. Some accounts are equipped with pop-ups that will automatically ask you if the email is junk, while others don't. If your yahoo account doesn't, there should be an button that you can press toward the top or bottom of your junk box that will allow you to mark your husband's emails as content approved for your inbox. Afterwards, have your husband send you another email and see if it pops up in your inbox.
If that doesn't work and you can't find a solution on this site... There should be some way to contact Yahoo technical support. Most likely you should be able to find this information on the main page or even inside your email account.
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I want to die my hair with clairol but i do not know which color and which brand. I also want to find out if it will come out. Any Advice
The dyes that you can purchase at stores are usually temporary and have a predicted life span of about three months. After three months you may have trace amounts of the dye left... But if you aren't ready to commit to a permanent color, this could actually be a good thing.
I personally use Loreal Prefernce. It's easy to apply, and if you get it on your skin it will wash off easily. I think it's about nine dollars at Wal-Mart.
As for what color... I don't have a picture so I can't really say what I think would look best. My only suggestion is that if you try colors that would compliment your complexion... People will most likely think your new hair color is natural. For example, my hair is naturally blonde and I have very pale skin. When I died my hair, instead of choosing dark colors that may cause my skin to look even more pale by comparison, I went with red... It worked out pretty well. A lot of people thought that it was my natural hair color.
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2 years ago i was daignosed with clinical depression with paranoia. They put me on all these different medications and after a year the paranoia went away but the depression remained. It didn't help that i was also starting highschool that year. In february of 2004 i attempted suicide and was placed in the psych ward for 2 weeks where i had my medications fooled around with again. A year later and now I'm a sophmore and i can't be happier to be alive! Going through that helped me have a completley different outlook on life and made me into the amazing person i am today. I love myself and my body and i can't wait to get a jumpstart on my future. I grew up with a needy older sister so i learned early on how to be fairly independant but i'm not afraid to ask for help when i need it. I met my current bf of 10 months over the summer and i didn't expect it to go much further after summer, somehow it did. He's sweet and great but we're at two totally different points in our lives, he wants a serious "I love you, you love me" relationship and i want to live and be free and experiance as much as possible. It's been great while it's lasted but he, as usual with guys, continues to ignore the fact that i don't want to be serious! However, unlike most guys my age, he's the one doing all the romantic crud like opening doors and paying for dinner, probably because it's customary in his culture, and its nice the first few times but then gets really annoying because of my strong, independant woman roots. He's also fairly innocent [i'm his first gf) and i really don't want to hurt him because he's a great guy, he's just not for me. Another problem is that his parents absolutely love me, and i hate disappointing people. Is there any way to let him down gently?
Tell him he's sweet... And then back up your point with numerous examples. The examples that you listed for us will work just fine. Explain that you aren't interested in a serious relationship at this time... Not because you don't like him, but because you're young and you want to keep your options open. You might even want to add that, since he wants a more serious relationship, if the two of you continued to date that would be rather unfair for BOTH of you... Because you want to be free and he deserves someone that wants to be with him. Ultimately, neither of you would gain what you want together.
In short, all you can do is be honest and tell him that he's a great guy. I won't lie... It isn't easy and his feelings are going to be hurt either way. I'm sorry. But you're doing the right thing... Not just for you but for him as well. I promise that, eventually, he'll get over it. So will his parents.
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I'd like to highlight my hair soon with blonde highlights (right now it's a medium brown). The only thing that's stopping me is the color of my eye brows-they're JET black.
-How much does it cost to get my eyebrows dyed?
-What color would you suggest getting?
Thank you.
I think the last time that I had my eyebrows done... They charged me something like twenty dollars.
I vote medium brown. Maybe even caramel?
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hey,
im in college im 24 ive met a guy who is working there this summer who is 28 i like him and we get on well and he is quite flirty, i gave him my number and we text - the problem is he works all the time and ive been trying to get him to come out for a drink a few times and he couldnt and then he finally did the other day- but i was a bit off with him i always have to text him first and when he did show up all he talked about was work and he left after an hour to work, the next day i texed to say hi and asked him how it went he said he wasnt home til 5am i said be carefull or ull burn out this was obviously the wrong thing to say i keep thinking about him i dont know why and i want to see him but i dont want to keep being the one to call, so what do i do do i not call him and see if he texts me or do i ext him to meet up and see what happens
Forgive me if I sound harsh...
My honest opinion: I think you should let him alone because I doubt that he's really interested in you. I think if he was smitten with you... He'd put more effort into pursuing _you_. _You_ wouldn't always be the one to send the first message. And _he_ would make time to spend with you. Sure, it sounds like he has a lot going on right now... But the long and short of the matter is that there isn't such a thing as 'being too busy' in reality. I know because I've dated guys with three jobs that were also attending college full time.
I would also like to say that if he was offended by your concern for his well-being... Then he is just a moron. You didn't do or say anything wrong. Furthermore, there is nothing wrong with you. If he can't appreciate you and put forth some effort to tie you down... Then he's doubly a moron. Remember that there are plenty of guys out there that would be interested in you, that would pursue you... If only you weren't wasting your attention on this guy! Not saying you shouldn't encourage him a little if he does start making an effort... But if I were you, I wouldn't wait. Maybe you should give another guy a chance. A guy that will send you a text message first! Or... Actually pick up the phone and _call._
Again... I apologize if I sound harsh. And I know that what I'm saying is easier said than done. I just think you deserve better... But that's only my opinion.
BTW, please pick up a copy of 'He's Just Not That Into You,' by Greg and Liz. It won't change your life... But it will make dating a whole lot easier.
Best wishes!
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ok so for the past two years i have felt like i havent belonged anymore. i feel no drive or motivation for the things i used to love to do. i feel like i dont fit in and cant be myself anymore; just this insecure, loser girl. i want to make an impact on people, and i want them to think highly of me, but when i try all i really want to do is crawl into a dark whole and never come out. i lie in my bed for hours and days sometimes, and now i seem to favor not hanging out with friends. i just dont have the patience to put up with the bullshit of being a teenager (im 16 btw). i cant open up to people, and im afraid of getting hurt and letting them in. i suffer from anxiety attacks and i dont want to anymore, how do i get rid of them? Please Help soon. When i get my attacks i feel it in my chest and head and like i am being suffocated, and i just want to cry. what do i do?
Sounds like you _may_ suffer from mild to severe depression or social anxiety compounded with an anxiety disorder.
It's okay. This type of thing is more common than most people think it is. And a lot of what you're experiencing could be due to a hormonal or chemical imbalance in the brain which often occurs during puberty.
My suggestion: either visit your school's guidance counselor or your family physician. A guidance couselor would be able to discuss these issues with you and suggest the next stop. A physician can do the same, as well as perhaps investigating the possibility of whether or not you would benefit from a prescription. When I suffered depression and anxiety during my late teens... I went to my doctor. But that's just me. In any case, I really think that you should discuss your symptoms with someone that is better qualified to help you.
If you have any questions, don't be afraid to leave something in my inbox.
Best wishes! ;)
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My husband and I purchased a cabin in the mountains four years ago. Along with that, we purchased two ATVs (four-wheelers) to ride the thousands of acres of mountain trails adjacent to our cabin property.
We love to have our children and grandchildren visit and have an open door policy where they're concerned.
Recently, my married daughter asked me, in front of her husband, if we would be willing to let them use the cabin for use with her husband's family. We told her we would have to think about it. We discussed it briefly with them and never gave them an answer.
My husband and I had already talked about this situation because we knew it would come up. I had expressed to my daughter shortly after we purchased the cabin that this was a "family only" cabin and was not open to in-laws. My daughter told me at that time that she understood. I feel like she was put up to asking me by her husband.
My husband and I feel strongly that we don't want my daughter's in-laws, or any other in-laws for that matter, accessing our cabin. Our cabin is as personal as our home, and I wouldn't lend out the use of my home to just anyone.
Also, I'm worried about the liability issue concerning the use of our four-wheelers and also who would be responsible if they damaged them.
I also feel like if we open up the cabin to this set of in-laws, our other children would assume that they would be entitled to bring their in-laws and friends to the cabin, which rightfully so they should.
Am I being too possessive of "my cabin"? I don't want to alienate my son-in-law, but, again, I don't feel I have any obligation to provide his family with a weekend retreat. I'm afraid if we allow it "just this once" that it will become expected that they can use it any time.
Please advise. Thanks
I don't think you're being overly possessive at all. Allowing your son-in-laws parents to stay at the cabin might upset your other children... And you made an excellent point concerning the liability issue.
The most difficult task would be explaining to your son-in-law _why_ his parents shouldn't be allowed to stay there. Do you think he would understand if you explained that, if his parents did stay, that it would seem unfair and cause problems between you and your other children? If so, maybe you could approach the subject from that angle.
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My name is "Katheine" and I am 17 years old (about to turn 18 in November). I have a ..friend?.. a friend named "Jeff". We dated almost three and a half years ago. We only dated for a few months.. but I fell in love. I know it might sound stupid to you, like "Oh, how cute, she thinks she's in love." Two words: Bite me. :)In all honesty, "Jeff" was and still is (whether I will admit it or not) is my love. We've been through a lot over these three years, in our own personal lives and what we've put each other through. We've also grown up. But the fact is, He loves me. He honestly loves me. We've been friends and a little bit more for the past three and a half years. Recently (as in the past 5 months) he has bluntly thrown in my face and said to me, "I love you,Katherine." I want to date him again. I want to try this for real, he's matured greatly (which was needed for me to ever date him again). There is just one problem, He's joined the Navy.
He joined in early March. He told me of course, but I kept my mouth shut on the subject. Hes being deployed in October. He now has about 5 to 6 months left to stay here.
The problem is, should I start dating him? I know it will take a lot of effort on my part. But whether I am dating him or not, when he leaves for the Navy I will miss him just as badly. He's one of my best friends, and hell, I love him. Letting him go won't be the hard part, trying to hide my longing and worry for him will. What can I say? I will miss him! And I won't know how long it might be before I see him again. This question has been on my mind for about a month now, and I don't know what to do. I'm scared to make the wrong move, especially when I don't even have all the facts (I mean about service in the Navy).
If anyone could please give me some helpful adivce, I would be very thankful. If anyone who has a boyfriend or girlfriend in the military could write me back, that would be even more helpful. Thank you.
I agree with Young Grandma.
If you love him, date him. You should be spending as much time with him as possible anyway. You'll also have a good little period of time to decide whether you want to get serious or not. If not, guess that's pretty convient for the both of you. If so, yeah, you'll have to wait a while. But if you didn't, wouldn't you regret and wonder, "What if..."
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I have really liked my boyfriend for a while but after a while the "magic" started to where off i am thinking about dumping him but i dont really know what 2 do. I mean i wanna go out w/ him to say i have a bf but i dont really wanna go out with him i dont know what 2 do plez help!
One word...Infatuation. You meet a guy, you really like him, maybe even think that you love him. You date him for a while, and the infatuation eventually fades, leaving you confused.
Happens to everyone, of all ages.
It sounds to me like you like the idea of having someone to go on dates with, and the "boyfriend/girlfriend" status. That's more normal than most people like to admit. However, you have to realize that dating someone you don't _really_ like is not only unfair to you, but unfair to him. I think that you should be honest with him and yourself, and simply end the relationship. Just try to be gentle. Rejection sucks, but it's a lot easier to bare when the person rejecting you is at least trying to be nice.
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ok so 2 of my best friends are mad at me because i keep hanging out with my best guy friend. The one friend told my friend melanie that i always talk about him and the only person i ever hang out with is him and i dont care about anything else but him. And that's not true. Am i doing anything wrong by spending so much time with him?
I understand that your friends may be feeling a little hurt right now because you don't seem to be paying as much attention to them as you normally do.
You can talk to them. You can tell them how much you care about them, that you value their friendship, and try to talk a little more about them. And maybe you should spend some more time with them. Maybe you should designate a specific day or night of the week where it's "girls only." Then your friends can see just how much you care about them, because you are designating a specific time...just for them.
However, I would like to state that you are doing nothing wrong. I think that you know that all ready. You can be friends with whoever you want to be friends with, and you can spend as much time with them as you want. Your friends need to learn to share. If you had to spend all your time with them, wouldn't you be neglecting your other friend? Is that fair?
No. People need to realize that their friends have lives too. Just because we can't spend all our time with them doesn't mean that we don't love them. And just because we spend more time with one friend more than the other, doesn't mean that we don't care. For example...
I am rarely able to see or talk to my friends now-a-days. A lot of that has to do with the fact that I am an adult. I have a job, bills, and things that I really need to do. Just today I went to a friends house to watch a movie. After the movie was over we talked for a little while and I went home. I would have loved to have been able to stay longer, but I had to go home to prepare for an interview that I have tomorrow. Guess what? My friend understood. His feelings weren't hurt.
And when it comes to other friends...Some of my girlfriends have special guy friends. I've noticed that when the two of them are getting along well, I don't hear from them as often. It doesn't mean that they aren't my friend or they don't care about me. If they don't call for a while, or I don't get to see them very often, no big deal. They have a life too. I have to share.
Okay, I'm done ranting now...Sorry this so long :P
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I am a 23yr old female, just starting out my career in nyc, just graduated from top university- ranked No. 16 in the country and I think I have a bright future. However, one thing really bothers me. My serious boyfriend five years my senior, although he is loving, talented, ambitious, sensitive etc. shows no evidence of financial responsibility. He lives at home and struggles to pay his car payments and car insurance every month, often making them late. He has no health insurance, and he is in debt $15,000 because of a misused Discover card he foolishily ran up during his college years and some student loans he never payed back. I don't want you to get the wrong idea, he works hard at his dancing career, and understands that he messed up. He intends to pay it all back, but it's impossible now because he is what you would call a "starving artist". His debt began many years before I met him last year, but what really bothers me is for the past few years he has completely ignored his debt while it is accruing interest at a high rate, he is not even in contact with Discover or his student loan company. He claims he is waiting for the "big break", a coveted position to be a waiter and a five star restaurant in NYC before attempting to pay back his debt. I have doubts about this "plan". I personally have no debt, and had the priviledge of having my school tuition payed for by my parents, who also had the foresight to teach me financial responsibility. (it helped that I didn't come from a poor family) So, knowing nothing about debt, how to get out of it, and how its affects you beyond your credit (his is shot to hell), should I be concerned since we often talk about having a future together? I hope to achieve financial stability by the time I am 30 and would like to have children some time too. Please let me know if it is a mistake to think he can overcome this problem, since it read it was very common amoung people in their twenties. Every time I try to talk to him about his problem he gets upset and defensive and claims he's got everything figured out. Thank you for taking the time to read this your repsonses would be greatly appreciated!
Well...
First, yes, it is possible that he will-one day-become a financially responsible adult. But that might not happen, and if it does...It could take a while. A long while. Especially if he is a starving artist comfortable with the idea of _remaining_ a starving artist. And, to me, it sounds like he is...
Second, yes, you have a good reason to be concerned. Especially is this man is someone who you consider to be a potential future husband. Remember, many married couples divorce because of their financial situation.
I'm not sure if his debt can become your debt if you married in the future. (Young Grandma probably knows a lot more about this than I do.) I do know that you can keep your finances separate to a degree. If you have good credit, I don't think that buying a house would be too much of a problem, however, only if he is not involved. You would own the house, and be responsible for paying the mortgage on paper. He would legally, just be living there.
My main concern is...I think that you would become the primary provider if you married your boyfriend. That's just fine...as long as _you_ are comfortable with the idea. However, you might not be. You might experience some resentment in the future. Especially if you start to suspect that your husband is just a dreamer, who will never actually accomplish anything, but continue to remain dependent upon you.
I don't know how you feel about living with a man you aren't married too. But, in my opinion, this is probably your best option. You can continue your relationship, start a family if you wish, but remain completely, totally financially independent and separate. Then...if you stay together, your name doesn't get dragged through the mud and you don't have to worry about your money. If not, it would be easier to separate, and your credit and finances would remain untarnished. Again, I don't know how you feel about that idea, or how he will feel, it's just a suggestion.
That's all. The only thing that I have left to say...No matter how much you love your boyfriend, don't let his lack of responsibility drag you down with him. You sound like a smart girl with a full life ahead of her. Please don't make your life anymore complicated than it has to be.
Wishing you the very best...Adieu ;)
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I enjoy talking with this guy that comes to a lot of my clubs, and he asks me sometimes about my friends (who he sometimes crushes on) so I considered him my friend. Soemtimes, though, like if I tell him I bought some new CD or I went to the mall on Saturday, he totally flips out at me and tells me that no one cares. Sometimes I don't understand it- I mean, seriously if my friend told him the same thing he would laugh and talk about it with her.
Should I consider him a friend or not?
Sorry, I'm with Paris. He's either a) just talking to you to get closer to your friends or b) just a really inconsiderate friend. I mean, if you're just trying to have a normal conversation, and he can't even pretend to be interested...Yeah, you wouldn't want a friend like that anyway.
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i'm 13/f and i'm thinking about getting contacts.
i'm a little freeked out about putting them in though. does anyone know any goos tips for putting in contact lenses?
~thanks
How well your eyes deal with the contacts...depends on you. All people are different, and so are their eyes. For example, my cousin is unable to wear contact lenses...something about the shape of his eye...O.o I, on the other hand, have never had problems with mine.
I was freaked out about sticking something in my eye when I first got mine too. But you'll get over it. I normally hold my eyelid with one finger and just stick the contact in there. Once it's in, you can help it get comfortable and really stick by rolling your eye around. Look up, down, right, left.
When I went to the eye doctor, after I got my lenses, his assistant sat me down in front of a mirror and gave me several tips. Then she sat there and watched me put in my contacts for the first time...just to make sure I was comfortable with it and able to do it. When you go to your eye doctor, you might want to bring that up. I'm sure he could snag someone for a minute, just to help you.
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My ex-boyfriend and I have remained friends for the past 2 1/2 years after we broke up. We haven't seen each other in 2 years. He lives many states away from me. A year ago, he started living with this girl and had a relationship with her. He broke up with her a couple of months ago. We made plans for me to visit him at the end of May. They got back together a week ago.
I mean, he still wants me to come too. He's still excited to see me. He said she's cool with it too. It's so painful to know he's back with her. But I want to see him, I need to see him.
I don't understand, when all he talked about was breaking up with her for months before he actually did it. He always told me he didn't want to be with her. And so now...? I mean, he told me he stayed with her for as long as he did because of her kid (from a previous relationship). He adores the kid. I think that's a big part of the reason he got back with her.
Is it hopeless for me to even want to be with him? I love him and I want this friendship more than anything. He really cares about his friendships and friends...and I'm a good friend to him...like a best friend...and I know he wants that. But how and why? Why not more? Does more ever come out of it?
Ouch...I feel your pain. But I have to say...
"If he's not dating you...He's just not that into you."
We girls tend to over-analyze this guy-stuff way too much, when really it's fairly simple. I'm not trying to insult your intelligence, I'm re-assuring you that WE are ALL guilty of doing this on a regular basis.
But what it comes down to is this...He had two choices. 1) Get back together with that other girl, or...2) Pursue a relationship with you. He chose the other girl.
Yeah, I think the kid definitely might be a factor. Because if he talked so badly about her, and then dumped her, I don't think he's "into her" either.
But that doesn't change the fact that he basicly chose a kid over you. If he really wanted to be with you, he wouldn't have done that. Instead, he would have dumped this girl a long time ago and started driving across states to see you on weekends. Trust me. I know. When a guy really wants you...he'll be more persistant than you would ever imagine.
Doesn't mean you can't be friends. If he cares about his friends, and values his friendships, super. But I think that it was a little inconsiderate of him to get back together with this girl and then tell you that he still wants you to visit. Why? She might say that she's fine with it, but I think that this is a really akward situation for the both of you. She's got to spend time with her boyfriend's ex, and you've got to be around her. I just don't think that's very...erm...nice.
As for your other questions...Guys need friends too. Especially friends that are girls. I've been told by guys that they often feel like they can be more open and allow themselves to be vulnerable when they're with their friends...who happen to be girls. Apparantly, with some guys it's a different story...
And will you two ever be anything more? I don't know. (I lost my crystal ball...Darn! :P) All I can say...I don't think so. If he's this confused now, he probably will be for a while. I would say...Don't wait around for him, you've got better things to do with your time.
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I am currently torn between liking two guys...
One is my best friend. I have known him forever. We have tried dating before, but it just hasn't worked out... we're still best friends and all, but we do go on dates... Whenever we're together, people just assume we're dating.. He's really sweet, and is all boy-next-doorish. He does stuff like this... we went to see a play together, and it was cold, so he let me wear his jacket, then walked me home..
The other guy looks perfect for me, and is actually my cousin's best friend. Both of us have brown hair, and brown eyes and I come up to his shoulder (if any of this matters..) we're apparently "The cutest couple ever" according to some old ladies in the park... He's outgoing and is more rebellish though.. Like.. he stole me chocolate from a vending machine, then because I was tired, he picked me up and brought me back to the picnic ground (family reunion.. he was there with my cousin.. my cousin is a guy, by the way.) Sorry it was so long...
Well...I don't know you and I don't know either of these guys. So, I can't really say...
I would like to point out a couple of things and perhaps inspire some thought...You seem to really like you're best friend, but you said that you've tried that before and it didn't work out. Why not? Maybe you need to re-assess that situation. It sounds to me like...if you tried it again...it just might work. But that's just my opinion...
And I would also like to ask...This other guy...Do you actually like him? Everyone else says that the two of you match, but do you think so? I'm only asking because, MOST of the time, if you go out with someone just because everyone else THINKS you should...It normally doesn't work out. (Believe me...I've tried!) You also said that he was rebellious. How rebellious are we talking about here? Just a little on the wild side, or do you think that he could be a bad influence in the future?
I'm suspecting that maybe the reason guy no.2 is on you're mind is because you really like guy no.1...but you don't think that the two of you have a chance. But I could be wrong...Doesn't really matter...
Anyway, my advice is...Give it some serious thought. And don't let the opinions of others influence YOUR opinion. Remember, you're the one who will have to date him, don't do it just because someone else says you should...
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Four years ago I dated a really cool guy, he was all over me calling and going out for 4 months, then he just didn't show up for dinner one nite and we only spoke once briefly after that, he said he didn't need anyone worried about him. (He's a serious workaholic) but over the years i've run into him at a couple parties of mutual friends and just two weeks ago we ended up hanging out and i've been seeing him again since last, last sunday. He's being a doll and has picked up right where we left off! I'm pretty sure that, that is just his style - dates for 4-6 months then it's adios. I'm having fun, but trying to keep a step back, because it's inevitable that the same thing is going to happen. Do I just have fun for however long it lasts?
You're having fun. So what? There is nothing wrong with that. Besides, that's what he's doing too, isn't it? Having fun?
Haha! Got you there, didn't I? :) I think that the reason you are asking, is maybe because you are feeling a little guilty. Like you are using him or something. You're not. You're just two adults...having fun together. It's all right. You would only be using him if you were the only one having fun and he was clearly interested in something more.
And...probably...he's not. I have a theory. If a man stands you up once, he'll do it again. So...I commend thee for keeping him at arms length. Very wise dearie ;)
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