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Love is going into the Navy-- What do I do?
My name is "Katheine" and I am 17 years old (about to turn 18 in November). I have a ..friend?.. a friend named "Jeff". We dated almost three and a half years ago. We only dated for a few months.. but I fell in love. I know it might sound stupid to you, like "Oh, how cute, she thinks she's in love." Two words: Bite me. :)In all honesty, "Jeff" was and still is (whether I will admit it or not) is my love. We've been through a lot over these three years, in our own personal lives and what we've put each other through. We've also grown up. But the fact is, He loves me. He honestly loves me. We've been friends and a little bit more for the past three and a half years. Recently (as in the past 5 months) he has bluntly thrown in my face and said to me, "I love you,Katherine." I want to date him again. I want to try this for real, he's matured greatly (which was needed for me to ever date him again). There is just one problem, He's joined the Navy.
He joined in early March. He told me of course, but I kept my mouth shut on the subject. Hes being deployed in October. He now has about 5 to 6 months left to stay here.
The problem is, should I start dating him? I know it will take a lot of effort on my part. But whether I am dating him or not, when he leaves for the Navy I will miss him just as badly. He's one of my best friends, and hell, I love him. Letting him go won't be the hard part, trying to hide my longing and worry for him will. What can I say? I will miss him! And I won't know how long it might be before I see him again. This question has been on my mind for about a month now, and I don't know what to do. I'm scared to make the wrong move, especially when I don't even have all the facts (I mean about service in the Navy).
If anyone could please give me some helpful adivce, I would be very thankful. If anyone who has a boyfriend or girlfriend in the military could write me back, that would be even more helpful. Thank you.
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Hi, I'm sorry, but I don't have a boyfriend in the Navy. My name is Taniqua and I'm 13, turning 14 in July. What I think you should do is give it another try, I mean you never know. You don't want to miss out on something great and real, do you? You're in love and that's something that should not be drown away just because of one problem. Love is something that should be rejoiced and celebrated with the person you love, which in this case is Jeff. Give it a shot and let him know how you really feel about him, what can you lose. But one more thing, don't let fear stop you from love, okay.
PS: If you ever have any more problems, visit my column.
Taniqua's-teen-advice
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I think you should tell him how you feel but don't stop him from doing something he wants. The best thing is to love him for all he is and support him along the way, that's what love is right? Sure the distance will make you sad but it makes the heart grow fonder. If you love him then you should definately date him.
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I agree with Young Grandma.
If you love him, date him. You should be spending as much time with him as possible anyway. You'll also have a good little period of time to decide whether you want to get serious or not. If not, guess that's pretty convient for the both of you. If so, yeah, you'll have to wait a while. But if you didn't, wouldn't you regret and wonder, "What if..."
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I don't see any reason not to date him if you really want to. You have 5-6 months to figure out if you think it will work out for longer. If you think that it will, then you will just have to write to him and wait along with hundreds of other girlfriends and wives! You should know before he leaves whether or not you want to wait for him. Good luck to you both. :)
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I don't have a boyfriend in the navy or military or anything, but I will try to help. I know any desicion you make (whether its to date him for 5-6 monthes and then get your heart broken or to just go ahead and break it now without dating him) but this is what I would do if I was in your position. Spend all the time you can with him before he goes. Every moment you can be with him, be there. You never really how long he could be gone and you could just start things up were you left off when he comes back. I know it will be hard for you when he leaves because you will miss him, but its better to put your feelings out there now and be with each other than never having done it at all. You may have better judgement about the situation in knowing if you should make you move, but in my opinion, you guys should be together because its clear you both love each other. Once he leaves, yall will still be able to talk and everything, it will just be something you have to go through that will, in the end, make your relationship stronger. I hope this helps some, and good luck with you and Jeff in any decision you make.
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