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humorist-workshop
Young and full of life ut feeling oppressed!
2 years ago i was daignosed with clinical depression with paranoia. They put me on all these different medications and after a year the paranoia went away but the depression remained. It didn't help that i was also starting highschool that year. In february of 2004 i attempted suicide and was placed in the psych ward for 2 weeks where i had my medications fooled around with again. A year later and now I'm a sophmore and i can't be happier to be alive! Going through that helped me have a completley different outlook on life and made me into the amazing person i am today. I love myself and my body and i can't wait to get a jumpstart on my future. I grew up with a needy older sister so i learned early on how to be fairly independant but i'm not afraid to ask for help when i need it. I met my current bf of 10 months over the summer and i didn't expect it to go much further after summer, somehow it did. He's sweet and great but we're at two totally different points in our lives, he wants a serious "I love you, you love me" relationship and i want to live and be free and experiance as much as possible. It's been great while it's lasted but he, as usual with guys, continues to ignore the fact that i don't want to be serious! However, unlike most guys my age, he's the one doing all the romantic crud like opening doors and paying for dinner, probably because it's customary in his culture, and its nice the first few times but then gets really annoying because of my strong, independant woman roots. He's also fairly innocent [i'm his first gf) and i really don't want to hurt him because he's a great guy, he's just not for me. Another problem is that his parents absolutely love me, and i hate disappointing people. Is there any way to let him down gently?
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Tell him he's sweet... And then back up your point with numerous examples. The examples that you listed for us will work just fine. Explain that you aren't interested in a serious relationship at this time... Not because you don't like him, but because you're young and you want to keep your options open. You might even want to add that, since he wants a more serious relationship, if the two of you continued to date that would be rather unfair for BOTH of you... Because you want to be free and he deserves someone that wants to be with him. Ultimately, neither of you would gain what you want together.
In short, all you can do is be honest and tell him that he's a great guy. I won't lie... It isn't easy and his feelings are going to be hurt either way. I'm sorry. But you're doing the right thing... Not just for you but for him as well. I promise that, eventually, he'll get over it. So will his parents.
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Say that you will always love him, but you are at different places in your life and you don't want to commit to a long term relationship right now. There is no nice way to say this. He will be hurt no matter what, and his family will be disappointed no matter what, but keep in mind that he will also heal, get over it, and move on. You can't be responsible for others feelings, you can only listen to your own. You may feel bad about hurting him, but you need to do what is right for you. You can't please everyone. Although, finding a guy who wants to be serious is actually rare. Most guys aren't serious at all. In any case, you need to leave him so he can find someone who can commit to him in a way you can't.
Also, I'd like to say something else that isn't related to this question, but something you should consider. Look up Bipolar disorder. Going from being depressed to feeling great, and on top of the world and impulsive and uncommitted could be the start of a manic episode. You could be hypo-manic now. I'm not saying you will go manic or have Bipolar, but just watch for it to be safe. Mention is to your doctor also, and family so they can watch for it. You may not develop mania, but watch for it any way. It would make me feel better.
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