Does he know you are the one talking with him on the computer I hope? Okay then, keep that up and just be casual in class. You don't have to have deep conversations face to face. "Hey what's up, Did you get your work finished?" is one example of normal and acceptable conversation starter...address this guy like you would your brother or a friend or a guy you don't feel butterflys in your stomach for. You can be nervous and talk at the same time, just keep it short and sweet. It is hot to leave him wanting more and not bore him to death anyway. Guys don't need words as much as we do, but they go bananas for any signs of respect, approval and appreciation...throw a little compliment his way now and again and he will be eating them out of your pretty hand.

Why don't you want sex? Ha-Ha, you can't fool me or anyone else...because we all want sex. It is normal and natural and wonderful...just not with someone who is not ready and mature enough to be with. So, the best thing to do in this matter is face up to reality. This girl is off limits to you as a girlfriend until she turns 18 and is no longer jailbait. There are millions of other young women out there that are your age that would be better girlfriends. You can be friends for now, but no dating. Be honest with yourself...every relationship has an ultimate goal. You need to put this girl's well-being first and ahead of your own feelings. It is never in a freshman girl's best interest to date a senior...ever. The best intentions usually fall apart and the results are painful. If you pursue her rather than release her, than you don't like her as much as you protest to. Be a man and step back from this one for the time being.

Sounds great. Any other items you add should be personal to his taste as well. Does he have a special hobby or something that makes him unique? Keep it simple, but thoughtful. We women are pretty good at this gift stuff, and generally set some big standards and have high expectations on both the giving and receiving end of presents. So, be warned: Guys are usually last minute and not so romantic in picking stuff out. Don't go so overboard with his gift that it guarentees he will look like an idiot and feel like a failure when he hands you his gift. Some guys are more thoughtful, but it usually is not their strongpoint. Actions speak louder than words and even gifts, so when he hands you whatever it is, remember the things he does for you that you can't wrap or put a price tag on.

Oh my gosh, have you seen "The Vagina Monologues?" There is a bit in there about tampons you should see. Anyway, tampons of any kind are not the best or healthiest thing to use. Convenient and less messy, yes, but it is not natural to shove cotton into a vagina and your vagina does not like it. Try pads and see if your body agrees.

A. You are very young and should not feel rushed into anything. You are normal. Many women and men are your age and not very experienced if at all.
B. If you are attracted to jerks, or seem to attract only jerks, then your problem is internal. Was your dad around? A jerk? Therapy might be the best thing you could do for yourself, or at least read a bunch of self-help books on boundries and love.
C. The right guy, the right relationship and the right time will happen naturally and you will not be worrying about comparing it to anything else when it does. Every guy and every experience is different. YOU are different. You are not a little girl, and the growth and experience you have in life in general is going to benefit you in your sex life as well. ALL things are connected. Be healthy, be loving, be free from your past. "There is no fear in love. Perfect love casts out all fear."

You are pretty young to be worrying about your age, but then, you are wise to know that life is short. How many dates have you really been on? Seriously, probably not as many as you could have been on if you spent less time worrying and more time doing. People can smell desperation and low-esteem a mile away and neither are sexy. What do you love about life and yourself? Concentrate on being the man you want to be and the girls will take notice. Chances are that you have rejected your share of women, but you are not thinking about them, only the ones you wanted who didn't seem to be into you. Also, don't blow off being just friends with a woman. You may meet and fall in love with her cousin or best friend. Keep your options open, but don't let finding a woman be your focus. You have heard, "If you build it, they will come." Build yourself up man! They will come!

It means nothing more than what it is...a comment. If you choose to make more of it, it will become more. If you accept that everyone has a past, ex-lovers, passing attractions and other human traits that are pretty mundane, then you can spend more time enjoying the real relationship you have with your man.

You have one egg on its way out and at least one more on its way up for another chance. It is doubtful you are pregnant, but not totally impossible. Usually conception takes place 10-14 days AFTER your period, but since sperm can live and travel for a few days, you don't want to mess around without protection. However, some women ovulate every 21 days and not every 28 days! Yikes, I know. Another reason to use condoms everytime is to protect yourself from the myriad of diseases out there. Pregnancy is not the worst thing you could get out of unprotected sex. Get a pregnancy test just to avoid the anxiety at least and follow all the directions. Then, get yourself some condoms and use them everytime. Pulling out is better than nothing, but not absolute.

I think you kissed someone who did not mean anything to you as a way to end the misery of this relationship. Neither wants to end the relationship, but neither can trust it to last. That is okay! It is normal! You both are expecting too much from such a young and short relationship if you think you should be acting married to one another at this point in your lives. Let each other and yourself off the hook and keep it light. Date other people, don't be possesive. Love is about giving, not grasping. If you don't do this, you will both end up with more resentments. You did something that forced you to come to terms with this once and for all...it was a mistake, but it was also your choice. You made a choice to let your boyfriend off the hook and that is not a bad thing.

First and foremost, I am deeply sorry for your loss of your little sister.
There is nothing wrong with telling the truth...you are simply not up to the responsibility and emotional effort of being her bridal support right now. Tell her you wish her all the best and want to be there for her in ways you can, but not as a bridesmaid. Unless, you have a lot of people who are willing to support you and help you in the planning and you change your mind, she will have to accept this. She may be upset with you for not being her bridesmaid anyway...I don't know how immature she may be in this matter. If you have already agreed to do this, then try to follow through. Many things are tough in life, but can strengthen us in return. A good way to feel better within is to focus on and help others. We all need to give and receive in life. Try to find friends that will be givers and not just takers in your life. Some people come by this naturally, but most of us don't realize how selfish we are, especially when we are young and unexperienced. Ask yourself if you can rise to this occasion or really need to withdraw and seek your own support. Only you can judge what you are able to do in this moment, but I encourage you to keep reaching out to people and be involved in life. Talk to your family and find a good listening ear. Most of the time when we have anger and issues with someone, it is because our expectations have been dashed. It is okay to be disappointed when someone does not live up to our expectations, but we do have to realize at some point that most if not all people will fail us in some way. The trick is to not take other people's failings personally and to move on with our lives.

Money can't replace love, but it can be a source of manipulation. Don't be pulled into this temptation and just tell her that you trust her with the account and appreciate the thought. What is important is that you are respectful of yourself and of her, while maintaining your boundaries.

There is a good chance that he wants to be more than friends...men in general usually don't spend too much time with women they are not attracted to. How do you feel about him? Does it bother you that he is trying to eliminate the competition? Let him know how you feel and be honest. That is where to begin, whether or not you want him as a friend only or more.

Slow down a second. You are acting out of fear and not strength and that is only going to lead to more pain. We don't know if he is cheating on you for sure, but actions speak louder than words. Forget actually the cheating part for a second and just think about how he treats you. Are YOU enjoying how he treats you? No. So you need to take back your power and decide that he is not what you want right now and let him go. Hanging on to a bad thing will never change it into a good thing. Now, it is perfectly fine and normal to be disappointed and hurt and even to let it all out by having a good cry now and then. Holding it all in is not healty. Let yourself feel the pain and then let it go. Don't cover it up with another relationship and try to prove to yourself and the world that you are tough. Rushing in to being with another guy will only temporarily make you feel wanted again. You know this new guy can't fix the emptiness you feel inside and he has a lot of baggage you don't need messing your life up more. You need to concentrate on yourself, your feelings, your life, your needs, your goals. Someday, and sooner than you think, you will find someone who is not into game playing and will respect you for the woman you are. This will only be after you learn to be honest with yourself, do things for yourself and respect your life. Holding out for better is not easy at first, but pretty soon you will realize that settling for less is a lousy experience and no way to live your life. I wish you all the best.

You bought it on impulse, but you can decide how to dress it up or down, and you can tone down the sexiness a bit for your comfort level. Wear appropriate make-up, shoes that are not too high, and even tights, leggings or shorts and an undershirt beneath the costume. It feels good to be sexy, but less is more. The difference between feeling sexy and just trampy is a big deal, so be careful. You can always have a sweater over it and go from there. A little mystery is sexier than laying it all out there. Sexiness is also in your attitude, confidence and intelligence. No matter what happens, look people in the eyes, hold your head up and speak authentically. Most of the time everyone else is worried about their own appearances, and insecurities to notice everyone else's. Also, women tend to be more critical then the guys, so lighten up and enjoy yourself.

Are you afraid that you will change again? Maybe all this documentation..the proof of pictures is your way of validating that you really look this way. When are you going to accept it internally? Of course, all beauty is fleeting or at least changing...nothing stays the same. So my advice is two-part. Enjoy who you are today and enjoy who you are today. Get it? You lost weight and deserve to self-appreciate, but remember that who you are in this moment is more than what you see in the photos. You are worthy and wonderful at any weight.

Fake is subjective. Do you feel fake? Maybe you are just conflicted over doing something that you KNOW is not in your own best interest. Ask yourself why you are doing things that may be regretted later. Sometimes we all need our private space, a time and place to escape from stress, and the pressure of doing everything else right in your life may be contributing to your private activities. There is nothing wrong with your need to escape or want to break from the usual routine, but your values and health are not something to bargain with or give up in your search for relief. Part of maturity is facing your fears and all the feelings that are beneath the surface. Talk about any pressure you are feeling with trusted friends and adults...find some healthier ways to express your self and frustrations that will not damage your lungs and put you at risk. Every action we take has a huge effect on our mind, body, soul. "Escape is never the safest path." Pearl Jam

Help her make a call to child protective services and the police. If she won't help herself, then you need to make that call for her. You can do it completely anonymously!

Wow, he is really playing you. He is the one who needs to prove himself, since he is the cheater, and the one going to jail. He is afraid he might get what he deserves and does not believe you will be faithful, because he knows he would not be and cannot imagine anything outside of his own selfishness. The real challenge for you is to convince yourself that you are worth more than this guy is evaluating you to be. In his eyes you are as scummy as he is. You deserve to be with a man who sees only you and not himself in you. You need a man to accept you for your actions and not reduce you to his own paranoid fears. Why should this loser be the only one for you, when he has never wanted to be loyal to you??? You are old enough to start thinking for yourself and demanding more from life. You think right now that he is all there is, but soon you will see that he was a waste of your time and emotions. Quit rescuing lost puppies and save yourself.

Who do you admire? Look to those in your life and beyond, who have the characteristics you want to exhibit in your own personality. You won't need to copycat or imitate, just be inspired! We all need people we respect to look to for encouragement and perspective. Don't limit yourself to just men, either. There are some extremely cool women out there that personify class, attitude and get what they want on their own. Be open to learning always and observe what works and what does not in different situations. The easiest and hardest thing to do is to become a good listener. Always look someone you are interested in right in the eyes. Forget talking about yourself and trying to impress. What will make you irresistable to anyone will be your listening skills and genuine interest in learning about what makes the person you are engaging in conversation special. Everyone wants to be discovered and appreciated for the individual they are...don't rush, and you will always go farther in life.

What no third and fourth options? Mike and the senior crack head may both be bad news and so what? There are only a billion other dateable guys out in the world and closer than you think! Never settle for less than you really want and know you deserve. Wouldn't it suck to be stuck dating one of these fools, and miss the opportunity of an amazing guy when he walks right by you, but you did not notice him, because you were tangled up in another guys problems or a bad relationship? There are ALWAYS other options...ALWAYS.

"Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable. To say something you value deeply to another and to have him or her value it equally by listening to it carefully and apppreciatively is the most universal way of exchanging social interest or demonstrating affection." David Augsburger, CARING ENOUGH TO HEAR AND BE HEARD.


All sincere persons will be given thoughtful examination and reply. Please be specific about your situation as it applies to your question, the applicable information and facts necessary for me to properly assess your situation and give you the benefit of my knowledge and experience, which includes: experience/education with mentoring, relationship study, self help, spirituality, poetry, literature, philosophy, psychology, color theory, teaching, parenting, and debate that will be used to your advantage. I am concerned with offering an objective and realistic perspective more than ratings, because this will help YOU. Artificial sweetness is found in diet soda, not in my advice. If you feel that I did not understand your question or need more specifics to help, please let me know, but while all truth is subjective, questioners should be mature enough to hear answers not necessarily agreed with. If you are only looking for someone to tell you just what you want to hear, then you may not be ready for my advice. I believe in personal responsibility, self and other awareness and your power and ability to recreate and redirect your own life. All our misery and joy begins and ends within ourselves, but our willingness to be open can bring the positive or negative energy we seek. If you or someone you know is open to positive help, the resources and caring individuals needed are available now.

http://www.coolnurse.com/

http://www.4woman.gov/violence/

http://www.childhelpusa.org/about/programs-and-services/childhelp-national-child-abuse-hotline-1-800-4-a-child

drug/alcohol abuse help go here: http://www.4drugabuse.com/addiction-treatment.html

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/1800-273-TALK(8255)
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. If you need help, please dial 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You will be routed to the closest possible crisis center in your area. With over 120 crisis centers across the country, our mission is to provide immediate assistance to anyone seeking mental health services. Call for yourself, or someone you care about. Your call is free and confidential. -----------------------------------

http://www.kidscrisis.com/

http://www.teenadviceonline.org/gethelp/numbers.html

You can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline, operated by RAINN, 24 hours a day, free & confidential. 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

For info. on birth control etc.
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

The Girls and Boys Town National Hotline is the only hotline that children and parents can call with any problem at any time:
Open 24-hours a day, every day at 1-800-448-3000

Spanish-speaking counselors available; translation services for 100+ languages

TTY line available for the hearing-impaired at 1-800-448-1833

Counselors can help find services and agencies in the callers' local community

Help at the End of the Line
Callers talk to highly-trained, professional counselors who listen and give "right now" answers. They're sympathetic people who have expertise dealing with these and other problems:

depression

suicide

running away

parenting problems

relationship concerns

physical, sexual, and emotional abuse

chemical dependency

mental health

anger

aggressive behavior

Toll Free
Operated by Father Flanagan's Boys' Home, hotline services are free of charge to every parent and child in all 50 states, the District of Columbia, U.S. territories, and Canada.

Toll-Free: 1-800-448-3000

http://www.sex-ed101.org/links.html

http://www.anorexicweb.com/anorexicweb.html

Report Child Abuse
Childhelp USA National Child Abuse Hotline
1-800-4-A-CHILD TDD: 1-800-2-A-CHILD



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All our motivations stem from two: Love or Fear. When in turmoil or indecision, ask yourself from which of these you are acting. If you want an honest response outside of yourself, you need to first be honest within yourself. Bless you on your journey!

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