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unrequited love problems
I'm male, nearly 30.
For half my life I've been chasing girls and from asking God for a girlfriend to crying in the shower, I've tried it all.
I've been on dates, but none of the women I have been interested in, likes me back (more than a friend, your such a NICE guy... I know that one off by heart). Its really frustrating to be 30 and to know only rejection from women, obviously at this stage I'm so insecure that the last time I liked this chick I totally started to stutter really badly when I thought about trying to kiss her.
I don't try to screw anything that moves, if I'm not interested in a women, I don't make moves on them and have no problem talking to them.
I'm really low and I need advice, not comfort.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Women hate being overlooked or ignored. Be more disinterested and they will come around. Don;t act like a girl's best girlfriend, act like a the guy they all bitch about. Insensitive, hard to please, demanding, forgetful, thoughtless, bored. Where I work, the women are so man hungry they act like horny sailors. Hang out in female dominated places. If you like a girl, act interested in someone she envies or hates.
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I can relate. The dating world is really tough out there. I have and still am going through it.
Most people might say, "Don't look for love, let it come to you. It's when your not looking that you find it."
I hate that phrase because it's not realistic. Love is all around. On TV shows, in movies and everywhere you look. It's hard not to think about being single and wanting to be in love. A lot of times, you can't help but seek love everywhere you go.
Having said that, here is my advice to you: Try your best to not let the bad dates get to you. COnsider each female and each date as it's own isolated moment. The worst thing you can do is get insecure about it or let it get you down. BECAUSE, confidence radiates. Many people are attracted to others who have high self-confidence and who are secure with themselves. You must show that.
If you are noticing that EVERY women you are interested in, doesn't like you back, you need to either re-look at the "type" of women you go for or change the way you act towards them. Try not to fall into the "friend" role. DOn't be overly nice because sometimes, as bad as it sounds, nice guys finish last.
Try to venture outside your comfort zone. Meaning, sign up for classes in art, fitness or wherever your interests lie. Go to new places and try to network as much as possible. The larger your circle of friends are, the better your chances will be.
Focus on things that make you happy. There are SO many perks to being single. Write them down and remind yourself about it each time you feel down.
Asking God and crying in the shower will do nothing but give you false hope. Make moves on your own and never let yourself settle for anything less than what you deserve. IT will come. Good luck!
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You are pretty young to be worrying about your age, but then, you are wise to know that life is short. How many dates have you really been on? Seriously, probably not as many as you could have been on if you spent less time worrying and more time doing. People can smell desperation and low-esteem a mile away and neither are sexy. What do you love about life and yourself? Concentrate on being the man you want to be and the girls will take notice. Chances are that you have rejected your share of women, but you are not thinking about them, only the ones you wanted who didn't seem to be into you. Also, don't blow off being just friends with a woman. You may meet and fall in love with her cousin or best friend. Keep your options open, but don't let finding a woman be your focus. You have heard, "If you build it, they will come." Build yourself up man! They will come!
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It probably has to do with a few things. First of all, confidence. Fake it 'til you've got it. Don't think about kissing a girl if it'll make you stutter. Walk with your head up, you know you're a catch and any girl would be lucky to have you- it's their loss if they don't see it. Secondly, I hate saying this as a girl, but don't be so nice. Be a little bit of a jerk. Women will be more willing to flirt if there's a little friction. Lastly, is where are you meeting women? You may be trying to meet women in the wrong places. Take a salsa class or join a book club. Dance classes are always in need of men. And you can use what you learn later at a club even if you don't end up meeting someone special at the class. Keep your hopes up.
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Ok.
In the most plain uncomplex wording imaginable, you arent exciting them.
I dont know you or your situation, I cant comment on much of anything involving you, but the big glaring red buzzer floats over "nice guy"
Part of the "nice guy" typecast is your lack of confidence. Thats a tough one, if I had good advice I would give it, but unfortunately there is no quick fix for confidence. You have to know success before you can manage that.
That being said, you can definitely find success without high levels of confidence.
The easiest suggestion to make with the information given is that you need a hook. You need an attribute that turns a woman's head. It can be the way you dress, the way you speak, something you do, there are many, many possible hooks.
A common theme, with people who arent confident, is that its not confined to one area. Confidence, similarly, can extend to different areas. So if you build up something in your life that you have confidence that has potential to draw someone, it will help.
An example. A friend of mine likes going to bars to meet women. His hook is his dancing. He took lessons for everything from ballroom to salsa to breakdancing. He can walk onto the dance floor, drop a few moves, and then walk up to a woman and ask her to dance and she will almost always say yes.
Outside of that, hes a pretty normal guy. But he knows the girls he likes, he knows the environment, and he found something to use thats going to generate instant attraction.
I'll tell you, most women dont "grow to love". Women think with emotion. If they dont have a flash of "I want to fuck that guy" at the start, they tend to have a hard time developing it later.
Thats the best I got for the moment.
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Think thats bad? Try having to hear "wow my boyfriend can learn a thing or two from you" or worse "why cant i find a guy LIKE you (but not you)"
Anyways, a friend (yea a female friend, that nothing will happen with) recently sent me to this site
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
now, i havent tried any of it out in the field yet, but they seem to be really good ideas.
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okay their has to be something wrong here...are you a good looking man or not? i say stop looking because things tend to find you when your not looking for them you feel me? theres someone in this world for everyone,so dont give up hope
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