Gender: Female
Location: austin
Member Since: February 7, 2008
Answers: 40
Last Update: July 4, 2008
Visitors: 2942
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So, what exactly constitutes a soulmake? Is it some quality like being so alike in so many things? Or is it some kind of able to tolerate each other's differences and faults and end up loving them/you for those as well as the pros? (link)
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several ways of knowing: when you leave them, you never forget them and no one stacks up to the memory; 2- when you are together all time stands still and it feels unreal and you think of nothing else. if you stay together, time flies no matter how bad it is, if you split, it feels like there are no happy days, ever... it seems that you only realize when you loose them.
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24/m.
Point is, while highly drugged on my meds, I did something really stupid with another girl.
I already apologized to my girlfriend years ago, and she has stayed with me still, but she keeps bringing it up and going on how I have yet to prove my trust now.
I know I did wrong, and I've done everything to make up for it. But seriously, when a man has all but forsaken his family and friends just because she basically wants him to, doesn't that warrant finally letting it go?
I know you all are going to get on my case for doing it in the first place, but I'm asking if I've made up for it (not arguing that I did wrong, I just want to know if I'm just being abused now). (link)
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I have read that if you wonder about something, it is probably true. Some people relish the chance to justifiably punish people forever. there is a statute of limitations for everything especially if you pay for the crime, she needs to break the habit of punishing you, but she won't if you always react the same when she does it. don't sell the spank, show less emotion when she does it and she wont get the thrill
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How do I get over the anger of wasting 10 years with a loser that really convinced me things would change. I'm not gullible or a pushover. I have never been fooled like this, for this long, in my 46 years on this earth until now!! I don't want revenge or bad things to happen to him. I know I'm the one to blame because I allowed it to happen but how can he be so selfish, deceitful and willing to bring me down and then scream Karma will get me. AND... ...Why am I asking for advice when I know the reason for his behavior. Isn't this the reaction from me he seeks to obtain? 1 more question!! why are some people so cruel? (link)
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People are classified as part of the Animal kingdom. We all have the killer instinct. Some people are bad just like some people are nice. The hardest thing to do is to get over things especially bad things. I forget nice experiences quickly and never forget bad ones. The purpose of this mechanism, I figure, is to never fall for the same situation again. You are lucky that at a mere 46 yrs. you have learned this. good luck moving on.
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I am a male teacher in a mixed school.
I just finished my first year of teaching. I really like my school, the students are respectful, and so are the staff, but I'm having some problems.
Since I am the youngest teacher in the school, a lot of the girls I teach flirt with me.
They would do anything to get my attention.
Ok, I do feel flattered, but there's one girl in particular that is over the line.
I teach her four times a week, and she's 15. She sits in the front row, she is constantly flirting with me, she wears very low cut tops, and she always comes to find me because she has ''problems'' with her homework.
This is starting to worry me, I have a girlfriend, and I've told her about this, but it doesn't bother her.
What can I say to this girl. Whenever she talks to me, she tries to make physical contact, and I don't want to be fired from my job because of this.
Please give me some advice. I know school is over for the summer, but I found out the other day that I will teach her again next school year, and I don't want these things to haunt me.
Thank you in advance. (link)
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A teacher can ask the counselor not to schedule the student with them for that reason- problem over. Also, don't telegraph that you are noticing. Kids act out more when they know it's working on your nerves. and they are experts at knowing it got to you. So be more aware of your reactions so they wont do this and worse.
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Tonight was the last straw and my Mom said tomarrow morning she's calling someone for me to talk to because she's done with my crap. I did explode tonight... but Im not going to someone to talk to "because they care" when they obvously dont considering there gettying paid awesome money. Why waste my parents money for my to sit in a room... and listen to some guys words. She would rather send me to some guy so she wont have to deal with the facts SHE SUCKS AS A MOTHER! I told my Dad off tonight because he was being an asshole and I told him he didn't love me because if he did he would atleast try to quit smokeing. He's reocvering from a heart attack but has changed nothing in his life. Im not goign to some fucking therapist because "I bottle my emotions" how to I convince my Mom i dont need to go and to stop botteling my emotions because i eventually explode
even tho i dont I justdnt tell them anything because they suck at listening (link)
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The majority of the people who spend time listening to you care(even if they suck at it). People who spend money or effort on you, care. I have been where you are. I didn't see their side til everyone started ignoring me and giving up. I refused therapy or their so called help. Then I ended up driving everyone away. I still come off as hostile and of not much help. So, here it goes, I am not good at giving advice but I hope what I say hits home somehow. If you accept their methods, they will feel that you care and try harder for you. The therapist does what he does because he/she cares but still needs to eat. As far as advice goes, you get what you pay for. Try it, it might not help you but it will help your parents understand you.
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I'm confused on what to do with it. I sent announcements to about 30 people. Must I use it toward school, or can I use it for whatever I want? I'm assuming I can use it for whatever I want, but I sort of feel bad using people's money for my personal shopping and whatnot, haha. Also, does anyone know about how much money I'll get for that amount of invitations? I'm the oldest in my family, so I have no idea what to expect! (link)
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A gift is meant to be enjoyed and its to let you celebrate your moment and not to pay for a hard road ahead. I gave my niece 200 for her graduation and she got a makeover. I was happy about that. So, enjoy yourself, its a reward for what you already did not aid for what you are about to do. Have fun and congrats.
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First off, I'm a 25 year old male. A few years back, my first girlfriend and I broke up and remained friends. She started dating this guy who was a manipulative con artist. I called him on it, he told her I was trying to get back with her, and she broke off our friendship and threatened me if I ever spoke to her again.
In the end he did con her, and she still treats me like a stalker and threatening person. This would be easy to get over if I just didn't keep running into her and her clique.
How do I finally just get over the issue? I've long given up on making anything of this broken bond, and just want to stop letting this girl's existance bother me whenever I run into her. (link)
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You remind me of my ex-boyfriend. I still think of him as a stalker. I doubt he runs into me by accident and I am sure he is just as bitter and sour as you about me. Her "existance" bothers you? Sounds like you want her to vanish. If she is an old hate, its no wonder she sees you as a threatening person. I think you need professional counseling not nice comments you want to hear.
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I wasn't exactly sure what category to put this under.
Well my mom has these strict rules about guys. If I have just a friend over thats a guy or my boyfriend, its always been the same. We can't lay on the couch to watch a movie. The couch.. in the living room. No guys allowed in my room even if the lights are on and the door is open. Not even if my little sister is there. We don't do anything like sexual. Oh big deal kissing and cuddling. What's wrong with that? She seems to be totally overreacting with her rules. They make no sense and she never ever gives me a good reason. Any advice about how to convince her to get rid of these rules? Or even advice why she says these stupid rules. We arent even allowed to sit in my lil brothers room. He's 16. My lil sister is 12. Its not like it will harm anything or anyone so whats the big deal? (link)
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Does your mom lay on the couch and kiss and cuddle her boyfriend/husband? Does she cuddle and kiss in her bedroom? Does she model the very things you are wanting to do? Well, if she does, then use that as an example of why should let you do that.
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I'll try not to confuse you all.
Well My ex boyfriend *bob and i went out for 5 months anyways while we were going out his cousin asked him how's your girlfriend and he said good and so on the he said what nationality is she he told him and he said nah you can't be with her or marry her she's not one of us and we are basically the same we only just speak a different language anyways bob ignored his cousin,bob told one of his friends what his cousin and his friend said your cousin is right then a lot of his friend started saying it and he got really confused so he broke up with me because he was just really confused,then he realised he really liked me and we got back for one week and he broke up with me ebcause he lost feelings he said he thinks hw lost feelings because of the first break up and now no one tell me to move or whatever i don't know i just want to know how do you make your ex boyfriend like you again i really really love him =[ and i honestly need him back please any advice would perfect.:(:(:(:( (link)
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I could not be with someone who listens to racists or acts on what racists say. I leave the room if someone says a racial joke so why not leave someone who carries out racist actions. If he can lose feelings easier than you, he is not your match. Hum? a racist that feels nothing for you, how is that loveable? I can't imagine needing a guy back that can't be stronger than his slimy racist relatives.
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so i have a thing for my best friend sara, i told her how i felt but she doesnt like me in that way. but sometimes when we have sleep overs at my place she will sleep in the same bed with me. foot to head. i hate it because i get confused! trying not to think to much of it. but its like when she get close i get annoyed because i want to ignore her so i can move on. she slept in the same bed with me every time we have a sleep over. i have a other bed but my other friend sleeps on that. but sara likes to share my bed with me...!?
why does she do that?
fyi" f/21/bi (link)
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Women are mean and like to torture you with what you can't have. They like the power they have over you knowing that you like them. It is a manipulation thing. I would play dirty to get back at her, but you will never win because she knows you like her and she will never like you like that. Don't hang out with her.
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is it possible for me to get pregant if i take the patch off before having sexy 3days before i changed patches (link)
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Yes. Especially since you don't really know how to use the patch and are probably making other clueless mistakes.
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Well...Ive been doing drugs for the past 2 or3 years. So it makes me kinda spacey and paranoid over nothing. Well,in early march. I got messed up and had sex with my ex boyfriend. He told me he didnt nut...my friend melissa told me he didnt nut. SO im like okay i should be fine and from what i remember he didnt nut. And we only had sex off and on for about 20-30 minutes because he was drunk and high on pills,and he couldnt get hard. So its now april...ive missed my periods before...would i know if i was preganent by now? would i have grown ne? I thinks its due to stress its happened b4 ne advice is helpful =] Thanks. (link)
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You are probably not ok due to the drugs and promiscuity. You probably both have sex with anyone and might have STD's. Aside from endangering your health with drugs, being so out of it you could get hurt and unprotected sex, I would say buying a pregancy test instead of asking strangers who cannot detect your pregnancy is a good start. Get an HIV test too if you trust Melissa to tell you that he didn't "nut". (was she watching this un-nut event?)
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I was just wondering how doctors re-brake leg bones. I have to have one of mine rebroken and Im a little nervous but how do they do it? (link)
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Who cares, the IMPORTANT thing is that they use painkillers.
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13/F
ok.... so i yesterday i could see it in my friends eyes that she was keeping something from me. So I calmly talked to her about and she told me that her boyfriend (my x'friend) made fun of her two best friends. He said that I was fat and he said that Melonhead was a lesbian and had bad hair. He was already a jerk but I just couldn't take this anymore. I was going to talk to him about it but I cant because Katie promised him she wouldn't tell that he made fun of us. So now, pease dont judge me but i told her that she had to choose... would she rather have a friend or a boyfriend. That sounds rude but I am just offended that my best friend would go out with a creep that makes fun of me. I am sorry that this is so long but please help me.
thank you (link)
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I criticize other people that like the person I want to make fun of. And little by little the message gets through. I broke up with a guy because I compared him to George Clooney and my sister jumped up, spit her coke, and said," but younger right?!!!" He looked older so I dumped him so I wouldn't be made fun of for being with an "older than clooney look-alike". That is how shallow some of us are sometimes.
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ive known this guy for 2 1/2 years and when we met it was attraction on the spot. spent hours talking and in constant admiration for each other. well, i was in a horrible ending relationship that i couldnt get out of and me and my new found love fell our seperate ways. in that time he married the mother of his child because of the void he was feeling and just to be closer to his child. well destiny placed us back together in another country together for a year and we fell back into each others arms but, now the problem is not two non-married love birds but he is maried and we stil have the same admiration for each other, in life i know you dont choose who you love, is chooses you than, what is a woman to do in this situation? (link)
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The moral thing. A relationship is not a pair of shoes that you wish you had bought and appear to be on sale again. People often feel more for a lost love than reality because reality comes with stretchmarks, gas, bills and crying kids. An affair is wrong, stay away. You are at least in a position of meeting the new available love of your life, maybe he is waiting, if you had ended up with this guy, you might be on the receiving end of this lost love against his baby mama, now wife.
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so i always used to have a strong personality, and i was really strong willed, but this past year i've lost myself. people walk all over me, my friends my family - even my boyfriend who is usually a pushover is always walking all over me. i tried finally talking to him and he acted like he was listening, then two minutes later he acted like nothing ever happened and went back to normal. i don't want to fight so i didn't say anything but it really bothers me that he didn't take me being upset seriously.
i feel like everybody is always laughing at me, and they walk all over me. i don't like to fight but nobody listens when i say something. im tired of being a joke what can i do without causing drama? (link)
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It might sound chicken of me to say but it has worked for me; don't ask for opinions, don't ask for help, don't share good news or bad news, don't talk about things that get you pushed around, exclude people that push you around from the equation of what you are doing. Example: if you ask your boyfriend what he wants to do for valentine's he will let you down but if you tell him what you want (not ask) he will do it. If you ask someone if you should cut your hair they will think they own your life, so just do it. It might make you feel lonely but it will make these people listen when you do talk about things.
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yeah so for a while i was obssed with my ex and then i came on here and got some advice and i was over him but hes coming back to me but not in a good way why is it that i feel angry when i think of him? and that i feel like im the uglyest girl in the world?
and that at the same time i still like hima lot? i cant get him out of my head!!!! i need serious help..... ): (link)
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Start dating other people. Find something you really like to do. Examine why you feel ugly and why you are stuck in this spot. Is it your family dynamics? Depression? Obsessive personality trait? I am a very obsessive person, i can get obsessed with anything/anyone, so it's not the guy i can't get over, it's the "not getting over stuff" that I can't do. I can't get over anything, ( old jobs, old cars, old friends, old losses). So, I try to remember that its not the object of my obsession, its my obsessiveness. I find positive obsessions and that keeps my mind off the guy.
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This will be a long question; apologies, but it's complicated.
Background: I once fell head over heels for a girl (call her "Jane"). She and I were friends, but I lacked the courage to try for more. Right before she moved away, I realized it was my last chance to make a move, so I kissed her goodbye. Later, through letters and phone calls, I told her I was in love with her, and she said she felt the same - though I was never really convinced that she felt as strongly as I did. Eventually, she told me she was involved with someone else, and I broke off contact in order to get over her and move on. We had sporadic communication for a while, then finally lost touch completely.
Fast-forward 15 years. I'm thirtysomething, happily married, have kids, but I've never really forgotten Jane (do we ever forget our first love?) Just for kicks, I entered her name into Google, and to my surprise I actually found her. We exchanged e-mail, and then she called me.
Here's where it starts to get complicated, because I expected we would just say "Hey, it's really great to hear from you again, we should stay in touch, blah blah blah," exchange abbreviated versions of our lives so far, and then more or less go back to what we were doing. What I never expected in a million years was that she's actually been thinking about me all this time, that she's still in love with me, and that (to be brutally honest) I've still got strong feelings for her.
I LOVE MY WIFE. I would never leave her, or jeopardize my marriage. I recognize that whatever feelings I have for Jane, they're based on an idealized version of someone I put on a pedestal twenty years ago, and haven't seen since. My question is NOT about whether I should explore an intimate relationship with Jane at this point - the answer to that is "No."
What I need is advice on how to handle this from here. Jane does mean a lot to me and I want to be a friend to her (real friends, not "we can just be friends"), but I don't want to break her heart. Furthermore, I don't want my wife to get the wrong idea (she knows that I got back in touch with Jane - I don't keep secrets from her). No matter how I slice it, I don't see this turning out well. If I had ever considered that Jane might still feel so strongly about me, I would not have resumed contact with her, but what's done is done. Heck, I never really thought she was EVER truly in love with me, let alone that she still is!
In a nutshell -
- I want to avoid breaking Jane's heart.
- I want to stay in touch with her, because she's someone I care about.
- I want to assure my wife that she is still, and always, the real love of my life and more important than anything to me.
Can anyone help me?
(link)
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How would you like it if your wife googled her long lost love and was being careful not to break his heart and be his true friend. Do guys really want to be true friends with women? NOPE. Do you want your wife to have a true friend guy out there still in love after 20 yrs? This "still in love after 20 yrs. bit is nothing but a corny, immature love story played out in the Notebook. You owe Jane nothing more than what you have done for her the last 15 yrs.
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im 28 and my girlfriend is 32. she has two girls daughters one is almost 2 the other is 14. the 14 year old has a father that is not in her life. her step dad (father of the 2 year old) who she didn't like past away. she tells her mom that she cannot see me. how could I make this better? we really want to be together. (link)
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Yes, they do. Teen girls control the parent's life. They aim to destroy any relationship that interferes with them being the center of attention. At 28, you are better off starting your own family. I have been in 2 unsuccessful relationships that were destroyed by the female child. It never works.
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First a few details, I'm a 21 year old female and will complete my master's in December (not planning to pursue a PhD). Basically I'm at the point where I'm job hunting, starting my first retirement plan, and figuring out what I want to do with the rest of my life. These plans ideally include marriage.
I have been in a relationship with "Joe" for most of the last three years. Although he is slightly older, I'm a little farther along than he is. He's still finishing a bachelor's, figuring out what he wants to do, etc. Recently "Joe" and I have had several discussions on the subject of marriage and our future. "Joe" claims to be interested in marrying me but frequently points out that he's still several years from being ready. I realize that marriage is not in the immediate future but am unwilling to go on much longer without an engagement.
I could really see myself marrying "Joe". I've had three previous offers including one proposal, so it's not just a marriage I want. If he really wants to marry me, there shouldn't be many sticking points. I'm okay with a long engagement, don't want to immediately move in together, and have no desire to have children. Although I'm not looking to get married right away, it's important for me to know whether or not this relationship has a future. "Joe" is aware of all of this feelings and knows I'm waiting for a decision. How long should I wait for him to propose? (link)
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Congratulations on getting a 4yr bachelor and 2 yr masters by 21. I was 24 . You must have been 16 when you graduated from HS. With such a bright future, focus on a PhD and wait til 30 to marry, its worth it. The freedom and choices are immense.
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