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Parent's weird rules..
I wasn't exactly sure what category to put this under.
Well my mom has these strict rules about guys. If I have just a friend over thats a guy or my boyfriend, its always been the same. We can't lay on the couch to watch a movie. The couch.. in the living room. No guys allowed in my room even if the lights are on and the door is open. Not even if my little sister is there. We don't do anything like sexual. Oh big deal kissing and cuddling. What's wrong with that? She seems to be totally overreacting with her rules. They make no sense and she never ever gives me a good reason. Any advice about how to convince her to get rid of these rules? Or even advice why she says these stupid rules. We arent even allowed to sit in my lil brothers room. He's 16. My lil sister is 12. Its not like it will harm anything or anyone so whats the big deal?
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i don't think that your mom is trying to make this difficult for you she has gone through these experiences and knows what they can lead to. talk to her about what you think and let her hear your side of the story. she may no change her rules an i don't believe that she has to but you should also listen to her point of view.
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I agree with all of the below posts. Your mother isn't going to change her rules. You say quote "Oh big deal kissing and cuddling", but your mom knows where and what this can lead to. I know the rules seem dumb now, but keep in mind that one day your daughter maybe writing this very same site and asking this very same question. Respect your mom and her rules. The more you respect her rules (without fight) the more lenient they will become. You need to teach her that she can trust you and eventually she will start to loosen that hold. Good luck babe!
<3 Leslie
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Does your mom lay on the couch and kiss and cuddle her boyfriend/husband? Does she cuddle and kiss in her bedroom? Does she model the very things you are wanting to do? Well, if she does, then use that as an example of why should let you do that.
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Your mom just thinks these rules are for your protection and your own good. Now I do think she is being a little to strict and you need to sit down with her like a calm and rational adult and tell her how you feel. Dont throw a hissy fit or start saying thats unfair, just tell her that the two of you are not doing anything sexual and that you just like hanging out together make it a point to let her know that you rather hang out at the house then somewhere more private if you get my drift. Make her see that you do respect her and her rules but you need a little more freedom.
Hope it all works out
Amanda
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She won't get rid of the rules. Sorry- that is fact. You just have to accept them, because it is her roof you are living under.
Why does she do this? Because she cares enough about you to make these rules. Yah, they seem stupid to you, but it's her way of protecting you.
Let me try to make you feel better about it.
When I was a teenager, my parents probably wouldn't have let me SIT on the couch next to a boy, let alone LAY there with him. And no way would a boy have been allowed in ANY room of the house with me where they couldn't watch with their eagle-eyes, even if my older brother was there to watch with his.
Of course, I didn't have guys over. I went to a small school, and most of them were either taken or jerks. But my parents still had strict rules about boys.
Heck, we didn't even have a cordless phone. Sure, I could talk all day to my guy friends, but I couldn't get but maybe, possibly, ten feet from the wall if I really stretched that cord.
Why? So Mom could keep track of what I was talking about TO those guys on the phone. She never actually said this, but I know- I have kids of my own to look out for, now. (Also considering she got a cordless phone after my brother and I became adults...)
So anyhow, parents seem strict sometimes. They are because they love and care about you.
Some kids aren't that lucky. Some kids' parents don't care what they do. Those kids may SEEM lucky, but they really aren't.
Make sense?
ygs-29/f
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