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ERG help
Alright this isnt exactly a question but whatever. Alot of times things finally start going right in my life and i'm happy...for a little while until something goes wrong or something and then i'm not happy i dont know it's jst not constant and it bugs me because i dont like going from everything being great to everything being bad from being happy to numb and all these things it's really confusing and of course you would probably say "your 14 your barely a teenager things are going to be confusing and inconsistant" but i like i said i dont like it cause anytime things go good i think to much about it and how great things are going and how happy i am then when things go bad i think way to much about how i just wish i was happy and things were good again and how i must be doing something wrong if things keep changing so quikly and what not anywho i guess what i need is some advice hence this website so i just want your thoughts on this please an thankyou in advance
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i so know what you mean but i guess everybody just has to stay tough and roll with the punches
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Life is a pain, it's inconsistant, it's sometimes even unbearable, and sometimes it's absolutely amazing! Of all the adjetives..perfect is definitely not one of them and truly, who wants perfection?! Who wants a constant routine. What would life be without a few curves, a few tests? Don't put too much thought into it. Just live. If you never caught a curve ball, you'd never learn to grow. Have you ever tried writing in a journal? I know it sounds silly, but I still do on occasion. Sometimes I just write what happened that day, sometimes I even write letters to people (who will never receive them). It helps me to get everyday frustrations out. Lets say for instance a best friend makes you mad. Grab your journal..write them a note. (Don't hold back). Write everything that you want to say to them in this moment of frustration. Once done close the book and reflect. You've released your frustrations but nobody has been hurt because the letter will never be delivered. As said below..find something that makes YOU happy. Use that to bring you up when you are down.
<3 Leslie
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You are human. Things are going to be confusing and inconsistant.
Life can be a roller coaster ride unless you create consistancy for yourself. I know, that sounds crazy. I used to think that I couldn't control what life was 'doing to me' and that there was nothing I could do about the stress and work and fighting that was always coming down on my head.
I was so completely wrong. I had WAY more control over my life then I ever imagined.
But a firm grounding is not something life gives to you, it's something you have to make yourself. Of course, this a really tough thing to do as a teen, when you are only really starting to live! But here are a few tips:
1.)Find a small, simple, stupid thing that makes you happy:
I like to make earings. Cheep beads and wire can keep me happy for hours and wearing them makes me feel special.
I like reading in a bubble bath.
I like baking cupcakes.
None of these things 'fix' any of the badness in life, but they don't take much time and they do ground you and offer trustworthy ways to make yourself feel good despite whatever else is going on.
2.) Try not to get upset about things you can't control.
You can't control what other people think or feel or do. You can make yourself miserable if you try. Of course you'll always be senstive to what other people think, but don't let it rule your life.
3.) Give yourself permission to choose 'failure'.
Failing when you didn't want too or plan to is awful, but CHOOSING to not to something to the best of your ability, or CHOOSING that a relationship is no longer worth the energy it requires, or CHOOSING that a praticular assignment or test doesn't need to done perfectly, gives you a sense of power, control and calmness. Give yourself permission to choose, and even if you decide afterwards that your choice wasn't the right one, don't beat yourself up about it. At least you made a choice and learned from it, rather then just letting things happen to you.
So, find something that will help ground you, accpet what you cannot control, and make active choices. None of that will stop bad, confusing shit from happening, and it wont slow down the rate at which stuff changes, but it will make you feel better, and more in control of it all.
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"your 14 your barely a teenager things are going to be confusing and inconsistant"
I'll be 30 come month's end, and things are still confusing and inconsistent at times.
Seems from my life's experience thus far, that it's a part of living. I've had my ups, but I've also had my share (or sometimes it seems MORE than my share) of downs.
What do I do?
I don't think too much about the good stuff. I enjoy it.
I don't think too much about the bad stuff. I try to see the bright side, and try to figure out how to make a bad thing a good thing.
Say, for example, I'm happily bee-bopping through life, and suddenly a wrench gets thrown in my gears. I can either sit and dwell on the fact that the gears aren't spinning as they should be, OR I can say to myself, "Hey, I needed a good, new wrench, anyhow" and figure out how to pull that sucker out.
Sometimes life throws us wrenches. There is no way around it. Otherwise, we'd live in a perfect world, which does not, and never will, exist.
Either you can think of how terrible that fact is, or you can think of how nicely that crummy wrench will look in your toolbox.
ygs-29/f
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