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Teaching Problems.
I am a male teacher in a mixed school.
I just finished my first year of teaching. I really like my school, the students are respectful, and so are the staff, but I'm having some problems.
Since I am the youngest teacher in the school, a lot of the girls I teach flirt with me.
They would do anything to get my attention.
Ok, I do feel flattered, but there's one girl in particular that is over the line.
I teach her four times a week, and she's 15. She sits in the front row, she is constantly flirting with me, she wears very low cut tops, and she always comes to find me because she has ''problems'' with her homework.
This is starting to worry me, I have a girlfriend, and I've told her about this, but it doesn't bother her.
What can I say to this girl. Whenever she talks to me, she tries to make physical contact, and I don't want to be fired from my job because of this.
Please give me some advice. I know school is over for the summer, but I found out the other day that I will teach her again next school year, and I don't want these things to haunt me.
Thank you in advance.
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A teacher can ask the counselor not to schedule the student with them for that reason- problem over. Also, don't telegraph that you are noticing. Kids act out more when they know it's working on your nerves. and they are experts at knowing it got to you. So be more aware of your reactions so they wont do this and worse.
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Heres just one tip:
Look at it this way. If you were a young female teacher and you had male students hitting on you, You would NOT be putting up with that for this long; you would have reported this by now- it's blatant sexual harassment! I would just discuss it with somone from the guidance department, because trust me, I'm sure they have delt with stuff like this before! (I'm a high-school girl- I see this go on ALL THE TIME!) I just feel like you should alert guidance before this situation runs out of control, because this particular girl seems to be especially pushy and not about to quit.
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I have first hand experience with something like this. my coach is a young teacher at my school and it seems that all the girls act like the girl you described. the thing that makes it as bad as it is, is that he endorses and encourages it. he makes jokes and picks fun at the girls. i think that if he acted like he generally was not amused by talking to them, they would stop, or at least tone down what they are doing.
For you, i think that you should be less friendly to the girl. when she comes to you for extra help, find something else to do. tell her that you do not have time. try not to linger around your classroom alone if she choses to stop by often. when she tries to talk to you or single you out in a conversation, say something that will include the entire class to let her know that you are not focused on her.
unfortunately these are the only things you can do. if you say something to her directly, she will think that you are interested in her but you are ignoring your instinct because of the circumstance(you are a teacher, she is a student). so i would not recommend saying something to her directly.
you do not have to feel uncomfortable because of how a student acts. stand your ground. act as you would if you were talking to a male student. i realize you are not the problem her and i understand that it stinks that you have to change how you are acting because of a teenager, but unfortunately that is how the world works today.
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Hello,
If you ignore the girl, she could come up with some wild story to get even, such as blaming YOU, and making it appear as if you are sexually harrassing her. In fact that may be what she would tell her parents. So yes, it is a serious situation and deserves a solution.
If you haven't already, document her behavior and advances, and what you say back to her. Be sure to sign and date all documentation. Discuss the situation with your superiors and demand that a witness is present any time you must interact with her in a one on one situation. Speak with the school counselor yourself, and then refer her to the school counselor for inappapropiate behavior--and in writing either from you/and or the principle inform her parents.
This is a form of sexual harassment, and the school officials need to take it serious because you should not be made to feel uncomfortable, and in the end you will be the one to get hurt if this is not dealt with promptly and appropiatly.
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Like the columnist below me said, there is always going to be one girl like this. She's a teenage girl, and its in our nature to be flirty. haha
I personally don't think it is any of her business wether or not you have a girlfriend. Let it be known that nothing can ever happen, because one that's against the law, because i'm guessing you are over 18. Also, you can get fired and its unethical.
You can be alone with her, because lets face it, she has to learn and if she has questions you're supposed to be there to answer them, after all you are her teacher. Just don't let her ask you questions about your personal life, because it's none of her business and she's supposed to be there for other reasons, to learn about whatever you teach, not about you. Right ?
Don't let her know she 'scares' you or gets you nervous, she probably loves that. Who wouldn't ? Then she probably thinks she's getting to you, and you may be into her.
Honestly, don't ignore her, but don't give her any special attention. Which I'm sure you don't.
If she starts to show too much skin, then yes send her to the office. They will most likely make her change or wear a gym uniform. But the matter will be solved if she's 'slutty' enough.
Just don't worry, and treat her like everyother student. Sooner or later she will get the point that you don't want her.
Hope I helped & Good Luck !
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hopefully she'll over you by next year, but chances are there will always be that one student. so, here goes...
students with low cut tops, super-short mini skirts, and other innaporpriate attire: send them to the principal's office. my school was small enough that the principals could had out baggy, unflattering sweats to wear for the duration of the day. (we turned them in the next day.) other, bigger schools simply call the students parents and make them bring their child a change of clothes.
report female students who become overly agressive and sexual, when trying to capture your attention, to the principal. and never, NEVER allow yourself to be alone with this girl; seek out a female teacher you trust, and ask her to be in the room at the same time with you.
in general, enlist the aide of other teachers and the administration. the principals and counselors should definitly help to keep this girl in check. they may transfer her out of your class to another teacher's. her parents should also be informed of her behaviour.
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Just respect her and tell the teachers if you have any more problems with it.
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Ask your principal or fellow teachers for thier advice. You might be young now, but they were all young once!
You don't even need to tell them which student it is! Just explain you have a female student whose flirting is crossing that line and making you uncomfortable and ask them for thier advice.
I'm not a teacher myself, so I don't want to give percise advice, however I do know this much: Don't bother telling this girl about your girlfriend! Do NOT give her any personal information at all. Don't even tell her about your cat. She should not get ANY peice of personal information at all, unless you are telling the whole class something. (EDIT: Opps. I just realized I might have misread what you wrote and you could have meant that you told your girlfriend about the student, not the other way around. If that is the case, never mind this paragraph.)
If she comes to you privately, treat her so professionally that you are downright cold to her. It might seem a bit unkind, but it's the most rational approach you can take. Your relationship with her IS proffessional. You are not doing her any favors by not teaching her what a proffesional relationship is. If she thinks she can treat men the way she is treating you out in the 'real world' workforce, she will be mocked, hated and possibly fired.
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