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help
How do I get over the anger of wasting 10 years with a loser that really convinced me things would change. I'm not gullible or a pushover. I have never been fooled like this, for this long, in my 46 years on this earth until now!! I don't want revenge or bad things to happen to him. I know I'm the one to blame because I allowed it to happen but how can he be so selfish, deceitful and willing to bring me down and then scream Karma will get me. AND... ...Why am I asking for advice when I know the reason for his behavior. Isn't this the reaction from me he seeks to obtain? 1 more question!! why are some people so cruel?
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People are classified as part of the Animal kingdom. We all have the killer instinct. Some people are bad just like some people are nice. The hardest thing to do is to get over things especially bad things. I forget nice experiences quickly and never forget bad ones. The purpose of this mechanism, I figure, is to never fall for the same situation again. You are lucky that at a mere 46 yrs. you have learned this. good luck moving on.
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Hell, I did it too! I did it longer than you have. 17 years to be exact and it was hell.
How do you get over the anger? Let it go, but you can't let that go until you let him go, especially if you think he's a loser. Only you know the reasons that he is being consider a loser. Most people don't change until they want to change or until they are ready to change. I tried changing a loser too who plain out refused to change, I accepted it and moved on with my life. It's really hard to talk and go into depth with you not knowing the situation. Since you have been fooled and you know it, don't allow yourself to be an actual fool.
How can he be so selfish, deceitful and willing you to bring you down? because you are the one who gave him that power to be this way and you are the one who allowed him to bring you down, now stop it, stand up for yourself and stop letting him get you on or else he will continue being foolish. Especially if you know you aren't a pushover - if this is true: when do you make the decision not to be pushed "negatively" effecting you mentally, spiritually, physically, and emotionally especially to the point of anger. Brush it off..and let it push your mental, spirit, heart and soul positively for your peace of mind and happiness in self, so that you aren't feeling used or like a fool or even angry for that matter. It's unhealthy for you.
OF course those who are wrong will point fingers at those who most likely aren't wrong to make them feel better and to justify their actions. These are actions of a child. Now,if you both were doing something you had no right or business to do and it affected other(s) directly or indirectly then he's right to a certain extent because you will get yours too, as will he. So, if that's the case then he has not a right to call you out and anticipate Karma to come to you.
If you know the reason for his behavior, then you also know the power of forgiving him but not forgetting what he has caused you. Just because you tried and stuck it out for 10 years doesn't mean you wasted anything. YOU GAINED, if anything. You have gained wisdom, experience, knowledge, truth, and now you have gained info that I hope helps push you in a different direction so that you can rebuild whatever it is that he has destroyed. He was and is willing to bring you down, because he is down and feels that he is up above you and would like you to look up at him as if he is. It makes a childish man feel as a manly man. People are cruel because they have self esteem issues with self, they have seen cruelty in their life and think it's the correct way of life, they are cruel because they are lost and haven't found who they are yet, people are cruel because there is a God, a Heaven and Satan, a hell.
Good Luck, Be strong and no matter what make your life count! You deserve some happiness, focus on getting you together. If you have done something wrong with him to cause him to attempt being judgemental towards you, ask God to forgive you, hold your head up, look foward and not backwards and keep it moving. Stay away from those damn crabs cause they will try to pull you back into the bucket with them as you try to get out of it.
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