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Mistakes
I was dating this guy who is in college and im a senior in highschool. We dated through out the entire summer and then up until about half way through october. Since we broke up nothing has changed... neither of us really wanted to break up, but it was just hard for the both of us to trust each other. Also it was really hard for me to deal with the distance, i probably got to see him about once or twice a month. So we're broken up, but nothing has changed...but last night i made the mistake of kissing another guy while i was at a party. I told my ex right away, i didnt want to lie.
now he's giving up on us, even though we were talking about getting back together. he's coming home on tuesday...what can i do to show him that i still care? and that i realize that i made a HUGE mistake.
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I think you kissed someone who did not mean anything to you as a way to end the misery of this relationship. Neither wants to end the relationship, but neither can trust it to last. That is okay! It is normal! You both are expecting too much from such a young and short relationship if you think you should be acting married to one another at this point in your lives. Let each other and yourself off the hook and keep it light. Date other people, don't be possesive. Love is about giving, not grasping. If you don't do this, you will both end up with more resentments. You did something that forced you to come to terms with this once and for all...it was a mistake, but it was also your choice. You made a choice to let your boyfriend off the hook and that is not a bad thing.
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I have to give you props for telling him right away. I have known several girls who wouldn't say anything. Matter of fact, I've dated plenty of them. Anyway, it seems to me like he's getting mad for nothing. If you guys aren't together, you don't owe him your faithfulness. But if you making one mistake, even if you can prove to him it was, then it makes me think he never really had the faith in the two of you getting back together. I mean, if you guys had broken up, and he was off at college, does he expect you to believe he hasn't kissed another girl, or at least thought about it? You should sit down with him and talk. Get everything out in the open, and then the two of you can decide what's next. I hope this helps.
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It was really good for you to tell him right away and not lie, because that shows a lot. It shows that you think of him as more than just an ex, but more like a best friend. You have to let him know that it was a mistake, and that it didn't mean anything to you. Tell him that you wouldn't do that if you guys were in a committed relationship, like over the summer and make sure he knows you are totally truthful about it. The biggest thing in a relationship is trust. To be totally honest with you, I'm not quite sure if you get together now that it will do anything. You will still have the long distance, and problems trusting eachother. Just a thought, none of my business. Good luck, and I hope all goes well!
Hope this helps! :] ♥
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Most importantly, you have to tell him that you love him more than anything/anyone. Tell him that kissing that other guy made you realize how much you still want to be with him. Tell him that the guy didn't mean anything to you, and it didn't even feel right, it didn't feel like a kiss because it wasn't with him, the person you care about. Make sure that he knows you learned from the mistake.
I don't know how sentimental you are or he is, but write him a letter. Hand written letters mean a lot to some people. Write about how much you care for him, miss him, and write your favorite things about him.
If he's not that kind of guy, buy him something nice. Not anything too expensive so it doesn't seem like you're trying to buy your way back into the relationship. Maybe a sweatshirt or something? Or you could give him something of yours that means a lot to you and tell him that he can have it because he's more important and you trust him with it. That'd make him feel loved.
I hope it works out :)
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