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How do i comunicate with her
Ok my and my ex broke up 3 days ago. We talk on the phone and she said i have lost my chances at ever going out with her. She read me her personal journal it made me realise some of the anoying shit i did im not a man, im a kid. She is 6 months older then me. And shes in grade 10 and im in grade 9. I have never felt this way about anothere girl. She flirts with othere guys infront of me. Its killing me inside, and when I tell her that she thinks im purpesley making her feal like shit. How can I talk to her with and act around her that will make her want me back? I know I cant change the way she feels about me. But I might be able to change the way she thinks about me. What are good topics to talk about well im on the phone with her? Something sweet, something that makes me sound like im 15 cause im relly mature she just doesnt see that. She wants somone who is fun but can be serouis. She wants a man. Help me, I cant let her go. How can I change the way I act and the way I talk to her that would make her like me as a lover and not just a freind? If you want to get an idea of how I feel about her listen to the song (broken by: seather) help me please:(
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I feel for what you are going through. Breakups are never easy and emotions stay on long after a breakup. I do see several things you should change though if you possibly can. She obviously is trying to hurt you by flirting with other guys in front of you. You really shouldn't let her know it bothers you. She is doin't it because it hurts you, not because she is unaware of it hurting you. Don't play into her hand.
You want to be more than a friend but you let her remain a friend. You really shouldn't allow her to talk to you whenever she wants. Basically why should she buy the cow when she gets the milk for free? If she calls, tell her you are busy or that you are going out. It may create jealousy but even if it does not, it doesn't let her get her way and you get to have dignity. Frankly, I'd suggest talking to other girls. Maybe go out with a few, or maybe just ask them out in front of the ex. Two can play at her game. The weaker you appear the less respect she will have for you and right now she is only taking advantage of you. Sometimes with relationships you want to do the exact opposite of your instincts. Instincts make you want to pull somebody closer but when you try you will push them away. Get some distance from her. If you are worth missing to her, she will miss you. Say "hi" and act like everything is fine and just be too busy for her. Girls want a challenge and right now she has to feel that if she ever wants you back, you will take her in an instant. Until that day comes, she is going to play the field and have her fun. You don't want to be cold to her because she may let herself hate you. Be your same nice self but with better things and opportunities. If you happen to get a date while you wait, i'd say to go to the ex and thank her for breaking up with you, otherwise you wouldn't have met this new girl.
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First and foremost.
It'll take some time before this hits home, but there is always another girl out there who will make you feel like no girl has ever made you feel before.
So, if she is gone, you'll get over it. I know that from your standpoint thats not very reassuring, but if things dont work out then that tidbit will stand you in good stead for the future.
Now. Getting her back.
Without knowing what you did its hard to put together a full picture of what exactly you have to do to make it up to her. It sounds like if nothing else she feels smothered. Telling her that her flirting is killing you inside isnt going to win her back. So stop doing it.
Honestly, just act normal around her for a day or two, and then when shes had enough time to not be annoyed, go talk to her. Dont cry, dont get emotional, just tell her straight up that you like being around her, and that if she has issues with things that you do that she should tell you so you can work on them.
Tell her that you're sorry you screwed up, but that you can care for her alot, and that if she talks to you when something is wrong that things could be fixed.
Its a blunt and inelegant approach to it, but fortunately you dont have to be overly refined in your tactics when dealing with a teenaged girl. You cant change if shes still interested in you. But if she is, then shes waiting for you to show her a sign that you truly are grown up.
Talking to her calmly and stating what you want is a good start on that.
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Remember in 1st grade, when you liked a girl, you would pull on her pigtails and she would knock you down and the next week you would be her boyfriend?
well as you get older, things change, so if you want a mature relationship, you also need to change.
Im not going to give you a list on how to be a man. but i can tell you this: she needs respect.
just pretend you are mature and soon it'll become natural
fake it till you make it
lol
good luck my friend
:D
ohh and don't beg her to take you back
call her and ask her to meet her somewhere neutral ( not either of your territory)
state your case and tell her she was right and you need to grow up but you need her.and you love her
but make sure you mean everything you say or it will bite you in the butt
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