|
lie, or not?
hi, uhhh its kinda hard to talk about this but, I dont know what to tell my boifriend, I mean he asked me if I was a virgin or not n i keep aboiding the question, you see when I was 13 I was rapped, what should I tell my boifrien? should I lie or tell him the truth, do you think it will effect the relationship?
thanks so much (I rate well!!!) HaLeY
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
you should say no. and tell him if he is that kind of guy but if he is not say you tell me first a try to figer it out.. i am so sorry!
]
you should tell him he wont get mad if you tell himyou were raped hell understand if you lie he might find out you lied and be mad .. good luck JESSiCA
]
h0ney, seri0usly.. u sh0uld tell him.. why w0uld it effect the relati0nship..? y0u were RAPED.. its n0t like y0u wanted it.. s0 just tell him and he WILL understand and if he d0esnt.. ill kick his ass!
♥aMbi
]
You know what hun? If he gets mad or wants to end the relationship because of an act of violence that was committed against you then you deserve better than him. Tell him the truth and if he can't accept it, tell him where to get off because rape is violence pure and simple. It's not like you asked to be raped. He might have a hard time dealing with it especially if he really cares about you but any decent guy would understand! Good luck!
]
i think that you should tell him, he should still lovve you becuase it wasnt your falut. i think that maybe you should just be like "hunny i have to tell you something" then just say it i hope this will help you....
So just go ahead and tell him what happend.!
hOpe i helped.
Good luck
Anjelica
]
The best thing to do is tell him the truth. If it is too hard for you to talk about with him then tell him that you don't want to talk about it and that its nothing personal but it is a touchy subject and if he truly cares about you he will not ask you about it any more and then one day when you feel comoftable with talkin about it you can tell him. It shouldn't effect your realtionship with him except for the fact he my be more compasionate towards you.
]
Dear Haley,
If you have not already, you need to tell an adult about what happened to you. I am so sorry. If you are comfortable with your boyfriend than you should tell him the truth. Never lie, it will only get worse if you do. If he loves you than he will understand. Once again, I am so sorry that happened to you. That is one thing that you can never get back and I am sorry you had no choice. Good luck.
♥Sarah and Brandon
]
i think you should tell him because it wasn't your falt that you were rapped. so tell him you arent but that is only because you were rapped.
]
i think you should tell hi. I think that it would show him that you trust him and love him enough to talk about such a painful event in your life. He'll respect you a lot more because of it
]
It's totally up to you what you decide to share, and when. I would avoid telling lies, simply because they have a way of coming back and biting you in the butt.
If the only reason you don't want to tell him is because you are afraid of his reaction, then you might want to think of all the possible ways he could react and how you would feel about each of them.
Getting raped was not your fault. A caring boyfriend who respected and loved you would not blame you for this, though he may be concerned about your emotions and feel a little uncomfortable initially. If he reacts in any other way, then he's not the right person for you.
This is a hard subject to talk about with people, but if you really understand and accept that it's a part of your past you are not responsible for, it can be easier to speak to people about it. If you've never spoken to a professional (like a counselor or therapist) about it, it might be a good way to practice talking about the experience.
Best of luck.
]
u should tell the police!!!
]
If ya want the relationship with you and your bf to be strong, I think if you tell him the truth he will truly understand and that will kinda put a change in his mind and he will respect you alot more as a person!!
-steph
]
Dear Haley,
If you want the relationship you have with your boyfriend to be strong, you need to be truthful to eachother. Every time you lie to the person they lose trust in you and eventually you will have no trust in your relationship. If you told him you were raped, I am pretty sure if he loves you he would run away. Instead he would help you out if you are still emotionally distraught from it.
Good Luck and Lots of Love
College Girl NH
]
if you feel comfortable enough then tell him, its nothing to be embarassed about, it wasnt your fault
]
YOu should tell the truth.. your boyfriend should understand. If you don't tell the truth then and ur boyfriend finds out, then there might be a problem. You should be able to tell your boyfriend almost everything because you should feel comfortable around him. Tell the truth.
]
i w0uld tell him definitly!!!
x0x m0rgan
]
How long have you been going out? If its been awhile and you feel comfortable with him knowing..as well as trusting him not to tell anyone..then tell him.
If your not comfortable with him knowing you can tell him "its a long story" or.. "yes im a virgin" and wait until you've been going out longer. being that this is a private and serious matter, i dont think it will ruin the relationship. When you decide to tell him he shouldnt be mad at you that you lied..just tell him you werent comfortable about telling before. Your bf should actually suport you and comfort you when you tell him. I dont think it will be an issue about lying to him until your ready.
-melissa-
]
You should definitly tell him. If he loves you enough, it wont effect the relationship if anything hed care for you more. hope i helped<3
]
I think you should tell him the truth, and i understand it will be sooo hard for you, i can imagine how hard it would be. But if he truely cares for you, then it won't matter that you were raped...well it will but it won't bother him, he'll try to be understanding and try to comfort you.
]
Aww I'm so sorry. I think you should tell him if you feel comfortable. It's not like you wanted to be raped - but if you don't feel comfortable just tell him you are a virgin. I don't think it will affect the relationship. He should be understanding.
<33 -Brit
]
Tell him the truth- if this relationship goes further, then he'll know eventually.
Convo:
*Him- "Are You A Virgin?"
*You- "I was raped when I was 13."
um, well I just have a little question- How old are you and him and how long have you been going out- i know its not my decision but if your really young wich i think you are from your spelling ect. Then that shouldnt even matter!
But he should still want to be with you either way!
AlwAys ThErE/---
KeLsA*
]
ya.. um tell him the truth... and, yes, it will affect ur relationship, but if he loves u, he won't care.
]
tell him that you not a virqin and that you were rapped .. he will probally just talk to you .. and it miqht feel qood to qet it out .. hope i helped
Dannie
]
Hey sweety! I think that sometime when you guys are together again you should tell him that you want to talk about it. Just come out and tell him why you've been avoiding the question. Tell him that you were raped when you were 13, and you felt bad about it and didn't want it to ruin your relationship with him. If he's a great boyfriend, and he loves you, he'll be able to understand. He shouldn't just break up with you because you were raped. It's not your fault you were raped. Just tell him that your not a virgin anymore because of that, and you hope that it won't interfere with your relationship. If he breaks up with you, then you can find someone alot better! He should still love you no matter what though, because like I said, It's not your fault!!!! Don't think that it's your fault. Just bring it up to him sometime or tell him the truth when he asks you again. Lying isn't good at all in a relationship, but honesty is very important! Think about if it was the other way around... If he was raped, wouldn't you want him to tell you the truth, and not lie about it or avoid the question. Alright hun, well I hope I helped ya out! If not, then I'm so sorry but I try my best! Bye! Good luck! If you have anymore questions, you can email me at PrEtTyKiTtY0428@aol.com and I'll try my best to answer them.
]
You should definately tell him the truth. If you have a trusting relationship you should be able to tell him anything, and he shouldn't hold it against you,especially something like that. Good Luck!
]
I think you should tell him...cuz if he liked you enough he wouldnt care because it wasnt really your fault...
]
tell him the truth that way he won't ask you that kinda stuff
]
You might say that for now that is a sensitive subject, and someday you might share that with him, but for now you'd rather reserve comment about your personal life.
]
First of all-being a boy myself-i dont think that he should have asked that questin in the first place if he did i think it would have just ben in passing scence you sayd it was presistive i would just tell him to plz stop asking me that and tell him that it makes you feel verry uncompterble*
{MATT}
]
aww... im sorry. i think that you should definately quit avoiding the question. when he asks you or better yet, even volunteer to talk about it yourself. be like "i'm sorry for avoiding your question about being a virgin... the thing is i dont feel comfortable about it..." start it off like that. and then let him know why your avoiding it. "... and this is all because i was raped when i was 13..." i dont think it will effect the relationship for the worst, but yet only help the relationship. i think it wil give him more respect for you and the relationship you share. i think he will completly understand. if he doesnt then he doesnt really care about you and is just an asshole. but i dont think that will be the case. i really do think it will only better your relationship. so just let him know. the sooner the better. good luck babe. and once again... I'M SORRY!
]
Well, if you feel you could trust him you should tell him. If he responds badly then he wasn't a good boyfriend.. i meen he should like you for you and not because of that.. hope i helped. Feel free to ask me anything.
]
If you really trust him then tell him and I don't thin it will effect your relationship.. at least I hope not. Just sit down and talk to him about it.
]
You should tell your boyfriend if you trust him.
]
well haley. if it isn't to hard for you i think that when he asks you again you need to say.. look we need to talk. tell him that the story about how you aren;t a virgin only because you got raped. I do not think it will effect your relationship because it wasn't like you chose not to be a virgin. I think that your BF will completely understand. good luck!!
♥ Katie
]
More Questions: |