|
Hemophiliac
Dear Advicenators,
One and a half years ago my brother *Henry* was diagnosed with hemophilia, which means that his blood does not clot normally. If he gets a cut, it's really hard to stop the bleeding. If he loses too much blood, he could die if the blood is not replenished.
Henry and I always liked to spend time together (he's two years older than me). We'd ride bikes to the park and shoot basketball hoops. He couldn't be too active, but he was my best friend and I felt safe around him.
Anyway, he lost a lot of blood one day, and was taken to the doctor for another blood injection. The horrible part was, that the person who had donated that blood was carrying the AIDS virus. The doctor proclaimed that Henry now had AIDS.
Henry is 15 years old, is in diapers, and must be fed through an IV or a tube. He has about 4 months left to live. My entire family is sad, and angry about it. My parents must monitor him all the time, so I always have to get a ride to my volleyball games. All three of us never have extra time, because we are always there for Henry and when he must be hospitalized. I had to drop out of volleyball for him.
Henry has been the butt of the jokes from the kids at school lately. They make fun of the fact that he has been in diapers. They are unaware of the fact that his brain is slowly being devoured, and he can't feed himself. The AIDS is tearing the whole family apart. But luckily, my friends are there to console me, but I always feel resentment towards the cruel kids at school. Can I please have some suggestions on what to do about that?
Anyway, as I am spending my last Christmas with my brother, I have no idea what present to give to him. Could I please have some ideas? I want it to be special and something he'll remember when he goes to Heaven.
Also, how can I comfort / cheer up my parents? They have been having lots of mood swings lately and have been very stressed.
Any input and prayer would be great. Sorry about the length.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Illnesses?
Hi, this totally confuses me. As of November 1985/6 blood transfusions are screened for any blood born diseases including HIV/AIDS. It's the law.
]
Don't worry about the length. I am so sorry to hear about your brother, sometimes life isn't fair. I guess your brother is experiening that. If kids make fun of him, you should just say how would you feel if you are going to die soon, and have AIDs, and are only starting your life. The cruel kids at school are just people who are saying things that don't think they hurt people. Just try to ignore them and if it gets to you just say what I said be4. Try making your parent's laugh, and spend a lot of time with them even if you aren't in your best mood ever. A great Christmas gift isn't bought, it's made like a CD, or just something that is special that you put your thought into. Pray is a great thing fot faith to do. That can help. Hope your brother and you have a nice Christmas. Tootles!
]
I know, you've heard this a million times, but I'm very very sorry for you and your family. You all are in my prayers. I'm really cant answer your questions, but you may want to try to collect photos of good times you have with your brother to help remember when everything was good. You could also write to your town, or donate money to an organization (maybe to do with AIDS research or a blood bank) You could also try to set up somekind of charity fund or %K run or something in his name. I bet many people who hear about his story would participate, or have had the same sort of experience. I will pray for you. My sympathies.
]
awww, that really sucks, well for the cruel kids at school, the best thing to do would be to confront them, and if they don't stop, u need to punch them to get your point across,
ill be praying for you henry and your family
]
iM so0o0o sorry. i think you should make him something from your heart. Or you can tell him you love him and will miss him. If i was in that position, it would be nice to know someone will always be thinking of me. You are in my prays!
]
Sorry for not being able to add advice but this is confusing me.
Blood donations are supposed to be tested for viruses... and in this day, especially HIV/AIDS. Why wasn't this detected?
]
I know you have heard this from tons of people but.that story made me cry =( and i cant answer your questions..but i would say what that one person said...anything you give him he will like! i do like that idea though about the photo album..AND IM SO SORRY!! HENRY IS IN MY PRAYERS!!
]
1.Tell your teachers or your friends that you're having trouble with the kids at school and that they are making fun of your brother make sure you tell them why you're so upset about this and then they could either announce it or pass the word around about your brother's illness 2. I would get your brother something that you made personally so that it would be kept in his heart forever 3. I think that you should just obey your parent's orders and try to be as helpful as possible. I'm very sorry about your brother, he'll be in my prayers! I hope I helped ~Lauren~
]
That is a very very sad story. I am normally not all that religeous but I will make sure that I pray for your brother. When my cousin was born, he was born prematurely and needed an emergency blood transfusion. Unfortunately, the blood that he got had AIDS in it as well and he slowly began to become weak. I was very young when he died and I can hardly remember anything that happened when he was alive. I only have one memory of him: It was Thanksgiving and he sat me on his lap and my aunt was taking pictures of us and I only remember him saying "Emily, you need to smile nice and big for the camera." And that was my only memory of him. My whole family always told me that I was his favorite cousin. I was 4 when he died and he was 10. He'd be 20 years old now. That was one of the hugest losses for our family. Everyone told my aunt that she should sue the hospital because of the contaminated blood but she replied "No amout of money is going to bring my son back." You just need to be there for your family, never turn your back on your family. I think that a good present for your brother could be a picture of you and him in a nice picture frame or even many pictures of you guys in a photo album. I can understand why you've been stressed. Losing a loved one is hard. I've been there. My grandpa died when I was 9 and I remember that day as if it was yesterday. So you know, if you ever feel like breaking down at all or you're depressed and just need to get your feelings out and need someone to respond to you, I'm here for you. I know what you're going through. It is going to be a huge loss in your family but you need to know that when your brother does leave this world, he'll be in a better place where he no longer has to suffer. And in regards to the kids that are making fun of him, ignore them. They are ignorant assholes and shouldn't be saying anything because they don't know. I hope you'll be okay. I'll pray for your family and your brother. I promised my aunt when my cousin died that if I ever had a little boy I'd name him Steven Keith after my cousin. I think that would be a great way to in a way give life to your brother. When you get married and have your children, you're first son, name him after your brother. I'm sure he'll appreciate it so much. I hope this helped. Be strong, and if you need anything know that I'm here for you.
]
Thats really sad im so sorry if people at school are doing this then dont be afraid to stand up to them u dont have to explain what it is but just say "Please stop because yopu have no idea whats going on so DO NOT make jokes, instead try and put yourself in his shoes" for his christ mas gift try and find an old picture of either you 2 or you 2 and your parents and take it to a store and re-finish it and amek it nice and pretty and get it re-sized. then get him a card with a poem or prayer write your own special note to him telling him how much you love him and what he means to you. and your parents- let them know that this is a time that we all need to stick together and we need eachother now more then ever remind them of the their blessings like dont be thank ful that hes dying, be thank ful of the time the Good Lord gave you with him . once agaiun im so sorry but i hope i helped. he will be in my prayers
]
Put a photo album to gether and show it to him so he can remember the gud times
]
First off, BUG HUG AND LOVE to you and all your family. #2. Ignore the assholes who are too immature and frightened of the pain you are going through to show any understanding. It is a sad fact of human nature that we try to make things that frighten or confuse us become the butt of jokes instead of facing our fear and trying to understand the horror around us. Like your parent's mood swings, this is a means of self protection. I know it hurts you to hear what these idiots are saying, but there is really nothing you can do that will not get you in trouble. #3 The gift.... My heart is bleeding for you in this. You don't want to remind him of what he can't do, but you need something that shows him how much he means to you and always will. The only thing I can think of is a photograph. Maybe to two of you on the bikes or playing ball? Tell him this is how you see him when you look at him, not the sick boy you're having to say gooddbye to, but your bestfriend - your big brother.
#4 This is the most difficult time in a parent's life. Their children are not supposed to go first. Having you near, accepting their bad moods and their sorrow is the best you can do right now. Grief is a long hard process that burns through every emotion, love, anger, denial, hatred, self-pity, blaming others, anger at the passing loved one, the world, the doctor the situation that caused the injury, themselves for the genes that placed him in danger from a bad transfusion, themselves and you for living when he cannot. It can take years to go through before a person can reach acceptance and a bit of peace. Only time and lots of couceling will put your parents on a road to recovery. RIght now, just tell them you love them and be there if you can. You need to allow yourself time to grieve also. Don't forget that!
You and your family are in my prayers and I will have you placed on the list for my work and church as well.
Again, BIGG HUGG!!! AND ALL THE LOVE I CAN OFFER!!
]
Alright.. you could maybe all get a consolour.. it helps alot of families out. Just try to look at the bright side of things. I know its hard to do. I really cant imagine how it is. I would go the office or school counsolar about that and maybe have like a hat day or something for him to help raise money and right a paper about whats going on and ask everyone just to help out. And have the money you earned on hat day go towards the hospital bills. Exspeacially to someone so close to you all! But shouldnt they of known about the AIDS? IM pretty sure so i am not buying that part.
]
Hi Sweetie,
I'm sure you're heard "I'm sorry!" as a response a million times. ...But what you say is so shocking and depressing... I'm sorry. Nobody should go through that... nobody. Anyway... about everyone at school making fun of him... screw them. If they cannot understand you are going through the worst thing you'll probably ever go through in life, well then they are ignorant bastards. It's okay to be angry at them and despite them... maybe it will help you relieve your anger about the whole situation. Either way, try not to pay too much attention to them, instead pay attention to your friends who support you, care about you, and love you. Pay attention to your family and your brother. Your brother needs you to be there for him more than you need to worry about those asshoes who are stupid and do not understand the pain you are going through.
Now about a present for your brother... I think he would love a poem... writen by you, of course. That would be sweet and... he'll remember it in Heaven :-)
My best wihses love! You keep being strong for your brother... be there for him... when he's an Angel he'll be there for you... ~Blessed Be...
]
i am extremely sorry and though i can't really give you much advice on this (since i have nothing similar to this that has happened to me) all i can leave is sympathy. yeah kids can be realllly mean. i'm really sorry you have to carry this burden with you only when you're 13. keep strong and for the kids at your school who are making fun of this; they're asses. major asses. it's stupid and completely .. human.. to make fun of others because of silly things like that. as for your parents this is something they have to get over themsevles. and the first thing you have to keep in mind is to not blame yourself for this. but also there's nothing you can do about this either. i'm terribly terribly sorry and i hope that this christmas is the best ever.
]
First of all, I am so pissed off at that guy who made fun of him. I would seriously go up to his face and really tell him off!!!! Anyways, I am so sorry about that too thats gotta hurt so much :=( *tear.
On Christmas Eve go visit him at the hospital and tell him how much hes worth to you and that you're happy to have a best friend like him. Tell him you care so much and you will be there for him through rough times like this one. Tell him to hold on, and have faith. You could like make a little scrapbook! If you guys have pictures of yourselves maybe you could cut them out and get a notebook and put all you're memories you spent with him. He'll sure love it. <3 I luv u! Don't give up!
]
Wow thats really sad. I'm soo sorry about Henry. About the kids at school, just ignore them. They probably are very insecure with themselves and have no life so they have fun by making fun of other people. If you just ignore them, they will get bored and stop. For Christmas, you should give your brother something really special. Maybe a photo album of all the fun times you spent together. And of all of Henry's achievments, so he can see what a great life he has lived, and have little regret of dying so young. And keep praying and hoping.. sometimes the doctors are wrong. Henry may live longer than 4 months. And just remember, this will make you a stronger person. Everything happens for a reason, even if right now, you don't know what that reason is.
]
*crying*, well punch the kids that make fun of him! and talk to your parents and amke them feel better, and depends on what he likes, for what to give him. hope i helped.good luck, bye. tell you brother that we all love him!
]
wow. THis story made me cry. I am so sorry. I dont know if my advice will be good enough but ill try.
Well as for dealing with the kids at school. Try letting them know whats really goign on. Maybe then they will shut up and realize how cruel they were.
As for comforting your parents i think i only thing you can do it be ther efor them. Try not to make life worse for them if its possible. I mean you have the right to screw up but i think right now is the time for you to try your hardest at everything. Also i know that being happy... or at least acting happy helps to make them feel better as well.
For the perfect christmas gift... this might seem lame but i would take him to your favorite spots where you guys made your best memories. And remind him of them. You could also make a scrap book.
I dont know if i helkped at all. Please keep in touch. I hope you and your family are okay.
-beccers_boo
]
I am so sorry! you are amazingly strong to be going through this, especially at thirtenn. you're amazing, and you and you family, especially your brother will be in my thougts and prayers. As for what to get him... im sorry i really dont know...but i think you just being there for him is a great present. maybe you could mae a photoalbum/scrapbook of you and him. or you and your whole family, and jsut look at it with him.
be strong!
<3 amanda
]
Well, I will pray for your brother, and I am very sorry about all this. Don't pay attention to the other kids, because they feed off the reaction you give them. The more you ignore it, the less fun it is for them. For the Christmas present, get a bunch of pictures of you and him, and put them all in one big scrapbook. This will remind him of all the fabulous times in his life that he has had, especially if they are of you and him playing a game or something like that. For your parents, do extra things around the house for them. If your mom is really sad and goes to do the dishes or laundry or some sort of normal chore for her, pitch in and say you'll do it so she can go get some sleep or relaxation. This will make her realize your effort in comforting her. And don't forget about your dad too. Do the same thing for him. They will definetely take notice and smile every time you help them through these times. Like I said before, I will pray for your family and your brother, and that his last few months are cherished. Make it so that he will remember how great his family is. Hope I helped.
]
i am sooo sorry! mad God bless your whole entire family! my brother, too, is 2 years older than i am and im soo sorry about what's happening. i hope you and your family the best of wishes and i pray for your family. you could give your brother like maybe a photo album of all your special memories together, and NO ONE could forget that!
]
aww i know how you feel! my cousin was like that and he was like my bestest friend ever! Well what i did was bought him a lil xmas tree n put lights on it and took it to the hospital and had him help decorate the tree since he couldnt do it at home, but if your brother isnt up to doing that then decorate it for him. Tell him how much u love him and just talk to him about things that he likes dont say anything to him about his problems or such. As for your parents talk to them and just say like Henry is a great person he will always be in our hearts and we will always have memorys with him say stuff thats comforting.I will have my church pray for him! make your last few months together memorable! im so sorrie about your brother!
xoxo Blondii
]
You don't need to worry God is with you and your family never forget that. Read Jeremiah 29:12-13. Tell your brother not to listen to the kids For the bible says cursed are the ones who curse us. I will tell my church to pray for your family. Give your brother something thoughtful that will touch his heart. Doesn't have to be expensive. Remind your parents that god will never leave you nor forsake you because he loves you and your family. Just keep praying God can do miricles.
]
OMG that is so sad- I'm sorry! i would get him a mini Christmas tree and decorate it with lights. Then put it buy his bed in the hospital with a sign in his room saying **I Love You Henry** Also, whatever present that you get him, wrap up really nice and put next to the Christmas tree. That idea is only like part of a gift, but maybe you could use that! Whatever you want to do.
I'll pray for Henry this Christmas! And for you and your parents, too. Love Ya- I hope you have a good Christmas... especially Henry
**muah** xoxoBRITxoxo
]
You are being really mature about this. I think you should give your brother a scrap book of your life together. Put pictures in it of good memories and at the back leave a note. Express your love for him in the note, and write it coming from your heart. Your parents are really upset, as is your whole family. You should comfort them by letting them know you will see him again someday. Tell them you will be there for them if they need you, and that Henry wouldn't want you to be sad. You will all get through it together, don't worryI'm very sorry hun, I wish there was more I could do. Best wishes to Henry.
♥lAuRa
]
Wow, I'm really sorry. Always remember that Henry is going to be in a better place, and all his suffering is going to go away. I know it's not much, but it should help, knowing that he's safe and happy in heaven. The kids at school probably don't realize how bad it really is. They probably just think, "OMG, a 15 year old in diapers!" That's probably all they know. Try talking to them about what's really going on, and if nothing works, tell a teacher or the principal. As for a gift for Henry, maybe give him a glass angel that has a cute saying on it, like, "I'll always love you" on it. Something like that, he'll definitely remember it in heaven. My prayers go out to you. Again, I'm really sorry, this must be so hard for you. Good luck with everything.
Hope I helped!
~*Erin*~
]
*crying*I know the prefect present. Get him an angel not too big about 5 inches and write him the longest letter your hands can write. At the end tell him that an angel will always be there for give...I will pray.
Happy Holidays!
Abby
]
I know you love him and i know you are sad at the fact that he is soon to pass away, but it seems like you have a good grip on things, and you are lucky to have such an open heart, many people your age are sad, and sulkey at the fact that there whole life is about to change, i just think that the thing with the kids at school is something that can only be solved through prayer,
the thing with parents, well this is a little harder, they are about to loose there son, so this is a hard time for them as well as you, i know that you will miss him to and i know it seems that i am being a little bit out there at the fact that he is soon to die, but it is something we all have to face. every one has to go sometime, and God knows what he is doing, even though you may not see it yet, i think the best present comes from your heart, talk your brother, he may not be able to talk or function properly, but he can surly listen, and you might want to give him a neckless, or something that you love verey much, and when he is burried he will still have it on, and the thing that he is most gonna take when he parts this earth, is the love that is in your heart, my prayers are with you and your family both, and i hope you stay as strong as you are right now, and may the Lord be with you. -love- The Deep Seeker
]
You have already given him a great gift. You gave him your time, there's nothing more valuable than that at this time. As for your parents, there's not much anyone can do. You can try to talk them through it and give them a chance to get anything out, but there's not really anything you can do to cheer them up. They're just coping in a different way. As for the jokes, I'm sure anyone who isn't pure evil would stop if they were completely aware, so make them aware of his condition. If they don't stop, tell someone about it. A teacher probably.
]
Wow im so sorry about your brother. Im really close to my brother and I know I would be extremly sad if he didn't have long to live. I'm sorry I can't answer any of your questions but I'll say a prayer for your family.
*kris*
]
More Questions: |