about

Hi, my name's Isobel "Izzie" Grey. I write my column for Quazen, you can view my column here! I'm a 20 year old hip Canadian currently living in Montreal. I look forward to answering questions!

advice

ok so.. 15/f
i think i might be gay, but im not totally sure. i mean i can see myself with girls all the time. well last wednesday, my ex-boyfriend from 2 yrs ago asked me out, and just to see if it would help, i said yes. now i dont think i want to be with guys at all. i mean we havent kissed yet or anything, but i just cant see myself with a guy. but i mean i dont know, its complicated. to make matters worse, ive never even kissed a boy before, so how in the heck could i be gay? ok, i see how, but i mean its weird. could someone give me some advice of how to go about this? i mean should i break up with my 'boyfriend'? i mean im really not into him at all, i think i just said yes cuz a) i wanted to see if girls are REALLY what i wanted, and b) i was sick of being single. but i mean i dont see how i could not want to be with a guy if i have never had my first kiss, get what im saying? could someone just like give me some advice on what i should do? please?

Hi, Izzie here. I know you're confused, but your first kiss should be really special, not wasted on an ex-boyfriend you're just dating to see whether or not you like guys. If you don't have 'real' feelings for him, then your first kiss won't change that. If you really don't have feelings for any guys (not just the guy you're with), then maybe you should try a relationship with a girl, or talk to a liscenced therapist. Good luck!

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Dear Advicenators,
One and a half years ago my brother *Henry* was diagnosed with hemophilia, which means that his blood does not clot normally. If he gets a cut, it's really hard to stop the bleeding. If he loses too much blood, he could die if the blood is not replenished.

Henry and I always liked to spend time together (he's two years older than me). We'd ride bikes to the park and shoot basketball hoops. He couldn't be too active, but he was my best friend and I felt safe around him.

Anyway, he lost a lot of blood one day, and was taken to the doctor for another blood injection. The horrible part was, that the person who had donated that blood was carrying the AIDS virus. The doctor proclaimed that Henry now had AIDS.

Henry is 15 years old, is in diapers, and must be fed through an IV or a tube. He has about 4 months left to live. My entire family is sad, and angry about it. My parents must monitor him all the time, so I always have to get a ride to my volleyball games. All three of us never have extra time, because we are always there for Henry and when he must be hospitalized. I had to drop out of volleyball for him.

Henry has been the butt of the jokes from the kids at school lately. They make fun of the fact that he has been in diapers. They are unaware of the fact that his brain is slowly being devoured, and he can't feed himself. The AIDS is tearing the whole family apart. But luckily, my friends are there to console me, but I always feel resentment towards the cruel kids at school. Can I please have some suggestions on what to do about that?

Anyway, as I am spending my last Christmas with my brother, I have no idea what present to give to him. Could I please have some ideas? I want it to be special and something he'll remember when he goes to Heaven.

Also, how can I comfort / cheer up my parents? They have been having lots of mood swings lately and have been very stressed.

Any input and prayer would be great. Sorry about the length.

Hi, this totally confuses me. As of November 1985/6 blood transfusions are screened for any blood born diseases including HIV/AIDS. It's the law.

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My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 1/2 months. Before we started going out, we were really great friends. He was my best friend. And I have a STD, HIV actually. I got it from birth because my mother had to get a blood transplant and back in 1986 they didnt check blood for HIV and such, we've been talking about being intimate with eachother. I am 15 and I need to tell him before we have sex. I need help on the following things:


1.) How to tell him: What should I say? Should I have my sister whos like my best friend be there with us?
2.) When should I tell him?
3.) How do I handle the thoughts of being rejected and trusting him?

He is my best friend and I trust him and I talked to him and have told him that I have something I'd like to discuss with him and I made him guess on what it was and he said "is it a genetically passed STD?" and I did not say anything.

I'm scared that he will tell someone. He's very trusting but I dont know, He would be the only person I told besides one person and the only boyfriend I've told. Please help.

Comfort my thoughts on this so im not such a worried reck

Thanks

Hi hon, if he truly is your best friend he should totally understand. He might react weird, emotions like anger and fear are totally normal.

Ask him not to tell anyone if you're not comfortable with others knowing. If he is your best friend, he should respect your right to privacy.

I think you two should go to a free clinic or Planned Parenthood, both places will know how you can be intimate safely and how to not ruin the 'fun' while still not passing on HIV.

Good luck, I'd be interested in hearing how it goes.

Do you have a liscenced therapist or someone you can talk to about your trouble trusting him?

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I'm going to get tested for STIs/STDs with my boyfriend. He's my first sexual partner, so if I have anything it would be from him. He has been sexually active for several years though, and about 4 years ago he had unprotected sex with 2 successive girlfriends, who he thinks may have been quite promiscuous.
So, there's a chance he could have something that hasn't shown up yet, i.e. HIV (I heard it can take up to 10 years to show).
If he has HIV and has passed it to me, I'd really rather not know as I think it would be the end of our relationship, and he is my absoloute soulmate.
So, my question is, if we both have HIV does it matter if we sleep together - it won't make it any worse surely?

Hi, if you both have HIV, there is a risk of re-infecting each other. It's a problem because both of you will progress differently through the diease, and re-infection had the potential to make it harder to treat.

Having said that, of course I truly hope you don't have HIV. It is a horrible disease. Why wasn't he tested since his unprotected encounters?

Where HIV/AIDS is concerned, knowledge is power. Get tested. Knowing your status is the first step to prevention.

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Ohk i know you can get Aids Or Hiv from someone if you have sex with someone that has it. I was told by many people that even if you use a condom you can also get it. Is it true.?

Only asking because i was watching tv today and on one of the Trojan Condom commercials. Its says to be sure not to get Aids Or HIv. Always use a condom.

No im not out having sex. And im 17 female.

Using a condom decreases you risk for diseases like HIV/AIDS, but the only fool-proof protection in abstinence.

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16/m
Hi- I had sex with my boyfriend about 3 months ago without realizing he had HIV.. I asked him..and he lied and told me he didn't have it..
So- When I went for my yearly doctor check-up(last week).. my doctor wanted to give me an HIV test because I'm homosexual..
and it came out positive.. and I know its from my boyfriend because he's the only one i've had sex with.. ever..
So should I be mad at my boyfriend? or should I be mad at myself because I didn't know he had HIV...

Also- my doctor told me that my HIV is going to result in AIDS in about 5 years..

Please help!
-Jason

First, knowingly passing HIV/AIDS on is a crime. You need to go to the police and he could be charged.


As well, anger is totally normal. You need to take care of your health, with today's medication people are living upwards of ten years without symptoms or progressing to AIDS. You might wwant to seek out a liscenced therapist. As well, you can go to TheBody.com for information about HIV/AIDS, health and many more ideas including a very supportive community.

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i recently got raped by two boys unprotextive.
and now "down there" itches like crazy and instead of discharge there is little black dots in it.

please

14/f

help and my parents hate me i cant talk to them to get help like doctors or anything..


WHAT IS IT??
WHAT DO I DO?
do i have a diesese!?
aids etc.
please help me

Hi, you don't say whether or not you went to the police after your rape. If not, you definately should, with or without your parents. Talk to a trusted teacher or clergy, or a friend's Mom if you can't talk to your own parents.

As well,if you have a free clinic in your town, go there. You may have an infection. The free clinic should test you for all sexually transmitted infections.

Good luck!

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