I'm going to get tested for STIs/STDs with my boyfriend. He's my first sexual partner, so if I have anything it would be from him. He has been sexually active for several years though, and about 4 years ago he had unprotected sex with 2 successive girlfriends, who he thinks may have been quite promiscuous.
So, there's a chance he could have something that hasn't shown up yet, i.e. HIV (I heard it can take up to 10 years to show).
If he has HIV and has passed it to me, I'd really rather not know as I think it would be the end of our relationship, and he is my absoloute soulmate.
So, my question is, if we both have HIV does it matter if we sleep together - it won't make it any worse surely?
Vikki27 answered Tuesday May 9 2006, 5:56 am: If you were to have HIV then no, after that point it wouldn't matter if you continued to sleep together unprotected.
However, the chances you actually do have this aren't as high as you might think. Of course, there is the possibility but there is a far higher risk you might have something like chlamydia or gonorrhea, which could result in infertility.
You say that if you were HIV positive, it would be the end of your relationship. I'm curious if you knew that he had had unprotected sex with other girls before you had sex with him, also unprotected? If so, I am afraid to say this puts you as much in the wrong as he is because men are not solely responsible for ensuring protection is used. If he's putting it in you, you are every bit as responsible as he is.
For the moment, please try not to worry too much. I know the possibility of contracting HIV is very daunting but even if you do have it, there are medications used to treat it. There is no cure but it can be treated. Added to which, the chance of you having it are still slim. However, if you have got away with it on this occasion, please use it as a learning curve for the future. Unprotected sex is dangerous for so many reasons and if you and your boyfriend were to split up (although hopefully this won't happen), I hope that you will remember this in the future and not only remember to use a condom every time after that but warn others of the risks involved in unprotected sex. [ Vikki27's advice column | Ask Vikki27 A Question ]
xOchErrytWistOx answered Monday May 8 2006, 8:12 pm: STD's and STI's are a big issue. If he has HIV and has passed it to you, that is a problem, and you are aware of it.
If both of you, in fact, do have the virus, you can continue having unprotected sex. There is no way to get worse by having sex. The only way it gets worse is if it goes untreated.
helpmebrenda answered Monday May 8 2006, 11:45 am: Hi
First of all...good for you for taking the steps to get tested!!! Alot of people don't.
If you do have HIV (which I truly hope you don't), then you need to know. Refusing to find out is surely a death sentence for you, and possibly other people who you may have contact with down the road.
Treatment for HIV has come a long way, and people can still live long, productive lives while fighting this disease.
Why do you think it would be the end of your relationship? If you truly are soul mates, then you will be able to work through this.
If you both have HIV, then sleeping together won't make it any worse, but you need to know, to protect yourself and others down the road.
With all this being said, wait till you get the test results back and if you do have any STD's, then your doctor is the best person to give you any kind of advice.
Tulipg17 answered Monday May 8 2006, 10:28 am: Your doctor will talk to you about this further, but if you keep exposing yourself to the virus then no medication you take to decrease the severity will have any effect. You will be, in essence, keeping yourself as sick as possible instead of as well as possible. Don't freak out though, get your test results first. And good work getting tested! Most people aren't brave enough and would rather risk spreading the disease. [ Tulipg17's advice column | Ask Tulipg17 A Question ]
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