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Heyyy, I'm Mary:)
I've been on here for over four years--Ask me anything, and I'll try my best to help you out. :)


Alpha female, always tries her hardest, analyzes the situation too much, overthinks what the other person says, tries to please others, stresses easily, high achiever, loooooves to laugh. I'm still learning the facts of life, but I can always share my mistakes and lessons learned. :)


I'm always willing to listen/lend a helping hand. Inbox me and I will be sure to get to you as soon as I can.


FAQs


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advice

Please Help!!
I am a girl and I am 13 and I have two really good friends but they are mad at me and they dont even have a reason to be. At school they are just ignoring me and doing really mean stuff and one of the girls is my BEST BEST friend!!
I am so sad and confused I have no idea what to do at all!!
please tell me if i should just stay away or ignore them or try talking again and what should I say!? i dont want to appoligize becuase i am always the one appoligizing and this time it would be for nothing even though they want me to! It sucks i just feel like moving schools I have other friends but those are my best friends
Do you know what I should do?
PLEASE answer I need ADVICE!!

--SOconfused

obviously they are being really immature if they are ignoring you for no reason. honestly, they are probably backstabbing you--and that's not best friend material. that's such middle school drama...if you did nothing wrong, and they are ignoring you for no reason, it's their deal. they are just trying to create more drama to make themselves feel superior to others, and especially you since they know you well enough to know that you are vulnerable to that kind of situation.
i personally would hang out with other people and find new friends who treat you right. your supposed "best friends" are treating you like crap, and that's not how friendship works. you will make so many new friends in your life..don't let stupid attention craving people set you back.
you can try to talk to them about it and get a real reason as to why they're upset and ignoring you, but if they go on to treat you badly, it's not worth your time.
they know how they are making you feel...is that what friends do? do real friends set out to make you feel like your worth nothing? no.
trust me, middle school drama is just about a waste of your time and energy...no need to waste your life away being sad. find new friends who will treat you better. :)

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Hi I'm 15 and my best friend is in a relationship with a guy that doesnt go to our school, he just met me, and now me and him are friends, now hes adorable and a sweetheart, he is really nice, and I think I might like him, now I cant tell my best friend that I like him or it will crush her, she talks about him nonstop, and I am happy for her that shes in an awesome relationship, but I am extremely jealous and I have never been in a relationship so I feel really bad that she has the best guy I know and I have no one, Sometimes I cry myself to sleep because I feel like no one loves me, and when I first met her boyfriend he gave me a huge hug and I felt special but I know it was just a friendly hug, HELP me please I have no clue what to do!

Get over him please. Losing your best friend over a guy is stupid. Don't tell her that you like him. The reason he was so nice to you and gave you a friendly hug was probably because he wanted to be on good terms with his GIRLFRIEND'S BEST FRIEND. Stop yourself before its too late...I know what you mean when you say you feel no one loves you...but the time will come...and trust me, there are PLENTY of single boys coming your way.

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it seems like im always left out of things that my friends do. whenever they have sleepovers and stuff, or if they go to movies, im not invited.
it really stinks because a lot of my really close friends dont go to my school, and i dont see them as much as my school friends. sometimes i ask them if they want to do something or go some where.
its just that i always feel left out and stuff..
what do i do??

You could try to make yourself included by saying "Oh hey, can I come?" But after many tries, if they still make you feel left out, they're not really your friends to begin with. You can't control if they invite you or not. This isn't about you, it's about THEM. It's their choice, and if their choice is to leave you out of planned activities, it's their loss. High school is like that...Thank God I only have one more year.

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Okay, so my best friend and I are guy crazy..but she has like a new boyfriend every week and/or has this "hott guy" whose like 5 years older than her who likes her. I mean when we talk on the phone THATS ALL SHE TALKS ABOUT and she tells me every single detail and wont shutup about "oh my gosh he's really cute". But whenever i have guy news she doesnt comments or she's like "oh,wow" then she continues on with her stupid conversation. I MEAN YEAH SHE'S A HOE!!! EVERYONE AT SCHOOL SAYS IT. But how do i tell her to shut the eff up without sounding so mean?

"If she turns on you, she was never your friend to begin with." NOOOOO. Do not yell at her. Simply tell her you are tired of hearing about this guy and explain why. Tell her that you are tired of seeing her with a new guy every week. Do not yell at your friend..she does not know she is bothering you. She is not doing it intentionally..she is just excited about this super "hot guy." Calmly tell her you do not want to hear about this guy anymore for the main fact that she will probably dump him in the next week or so. She can find someone better. Ask her to hang out in order to develop inside jokes..so she can take her mind of this guy. A friendship is a two way street. Yes, I understand that when she says "Oh wow.." to you, it is very inconsiderate. I have had friends that were like that as well. Whenever they wanted me to listen, I would listen. But when it came my turn to talk about a guy? "Haha, that's funny" AND THEN THEY MOVED ON. Yes it bothered me..but it was just their personalities. It may be a little selfish, but it's just who they are. If you and your friend can't find something else to talk about besides this guy of hers, you don't need her or her friendship. Find a friend who WILL listen to you.

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Sooo i have this freind who hurt me really bad....for discreation purposes lets just call him "C".

I just dont know what to do! He was a great freind and then almost overnight he despised me! It hurts to see the anger in his eyes, almost enough to forgive him for all the awful things he said and did to me. I am not one who holds grudges too long however if i forgive him for this wont i jsut be a push over, and who can forget the cruel things of the past? I know "sticks and stones break your bones but words can never hurt you", but personally that motto is overrated, words can be painful and leave scars.

School is about to start and i will have to see "c" several times a day!

What should i do?? Play the good guy and forgive and forget?? Or stand up for myself..and refuse to forget until there is a true feeling of remorse from him??

:)

Well, it seems as if neither of ya'll are willing to give in to the situation. Unfortunately, "forgiving and forgetting" is not as easy as it sounds. Don't go through the school year worrying about him...because then you will always be on the look out for him, and that will make you self-conscious and leave you with little time to actually enjoy your high school years. I don't think you should play "the good guy," as you have mentioned..because, why should you? If "C" hurt you THAT much, why should YOU be the one to apologize to him? Standing up for yourself could be an option, but how would he react? Does he feel the same way. You need to figure out how HE feels about the situation and look at how he reacted from his standpoint. Holding on to a grudge is something you do not want to do. Trust me, it weighs you down, and will make you feel horrible 95% of the time.

Although from what you have told me, it seems like it is HIS fault...did you ever think it could possibly be yours? Think about it...what did you do to him? If it's something stupid, and he hurt you over it, then he's not a real friend if he's not willing to patch it up. Stay neutral right now...because over time, things will straighten out. "C" needs to grow up and learn to get off HIS high horse and apologize. ;)

If you are infact, the victim in this situation, don't APOLOGIZE...wait it out because a REAL friend will overcome anything, no matter how big the obstacle.

What if HE is feeling the same way you are feeling? Look at his viewpoint..do you agree? Or can you find a reason to disagree?

Let him know how you're feeling. If you've already done so, how was his reaction? I am assuming it wasn't so great, since you are asking for my advice...All I can say is wait it out. Don't do anything else if you've done all that you've can. Best of Luck!

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I was talking to my friends like an hour or more earlier and they were at one friends' house hanging out. Since they were going to leave his house soon, they told me they were going to another friend (he lives like 2 minutes walk away from me)to watch a movie and that they'd call me when they get there so i can go over. They told me they'd call me in 10 minutes but they didnt, so i called them like 5 minutes ago and they were like "oh yeah, we're watching the movie right now". They didnt even invite me or remember that they were suppose to call me or anything. Needless to say, Im annoyed and slightly hurt. I don't know if i have a right to be. There's like five of them and not one of them bothered calling me or asking me if i was coming over. My friend was like "Yeah we're watching the movie.. why are you calling us?" I didnt feel like explaining that I thought i was invited... apparently i wasn't? I dont know. So now I'm quite upset.. my question is do I have a right to be? Or am I just overreacting?

Yes, you have a right to be mad! I would personally be enraged..but that's just me. They said they were gonna call you but they didn't, and that's understandable that you would be upset. However, I don't think you should confront them about it..just let it go instead of making it into something that shouldn't be made into. They may have just forgotten to call you. I understand why you're mad and you def. have a right to be upset because it was kind of rude of your friend to say "Yeah we're watching the movie.. why are you calling us?" when they OBVIOUSLY said they were going to call you back. Just let it go this time..and if it happens again, confront them.

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Sometimes my mom will say hurtful things to me and not even realize it.

"How can you possible have that many texts, you don't have more then 3 friends!"
(Keep in mind, this was after I just lost my boyfriend, best friend, and almost all of my friends so I was very upset from losing them)

"I would buy bigger jeans, you're getting fatter"
Even though I'm a size 1.

I've talked to her about this numerous times, but she just doesn't understand. What should I do?

My mom does that to me sometimes, too. I think maybe it's beause she's stressed or angry and something else--and then decides to take it out on me. Then, I get upset and I take it out on my brother without even noticing sometimes. So I think you should TRY and talk to her about it and if nothing changes, then I think you should get back at her-likeee "Mom, that shirt looks so bad on you!" or "Have you gained weight?"
Hope I helped!

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13/F
Im like really loud. I don't know if its like in the annoying way, but I'm like always hyper. Even thought I don't eat things with a lot of sugar. Like I'm really friendy & I love talking to new people. I acuallly just love talking period. So yeah anyways. I don't know if I'm annoying or something. So do you guys think its annoying to meet someone new thats really loud & stuff? if you do how can i change?

I am exactly like you!!! I think it depends on who you are introducing yourself to. If it's someone whose kind of stuck up and conceited, then they would probably think you're obnoxious or something like that. But if you're associating with the kind of person that is exactly like you, then you two would get along great. Also, it's good that you're outgoing because more people will want to be friends with you. Just tone it down a bit when it's not the right time to be loud...you know? I've learned that from experience. =] Good luck.

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Heyy all im 14/f. I`m going to my grandparents house tomorrow until sat. My friend is having a sweet 16 party and said i could invite a guest. i really wanna to go to the party but idk if im gonna no anyone there. so i invited my other friend, and a few days ago we got in a huge fight and im pretty sure shes not going with me now. Now i cant find anyone else to go with after tomorrow I wont have anyway of getting a hold of people cause my cell doesnt work and they dont ahve internet. so idk how im gonna get ahold of anyone especially the girl whos having the party. so i lied to her and said my grandpa is really sick so i have to go help my grandma take care of him and i cant go to the party i promised her id take her outt and make it up to her when i get back but still its her sweet 16 you know? HELP PLEASE!

so what is it you want us to help you with? there's no point to this "problem"...so you lied...what more is there to it? do you want to go to this party? if so, go! make new friends :] as for the lying part, you should've just told her the truth...but it's not like she's actually gonna call and see if your grandpa is actually sick or not. so don't worry about it...

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My best friend is just like me exact! i mean we say all the same thing at the same time and everything! she taly alsome! we do everthing to gether.Do u think well stay best friends?

hahah yes, most likely you guys will stay friends unless ya'll let something stupid get in the way of your friendship. :]

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There's this girl that keeps calling me her best friend and she constantly clings to me. She's an ok person and I think of her as a friend who'll I talk to once in a while, but in no way do I consider her to be my best friend. She's a nice person and I don't want to hurt her feelings, but how do I get her to leave me alone?

Aww. She probably has little to no friends. That's pretty sad. If I were you, I wouldn't tell her to leave you alone-That would make her feel horrible. Just keep being nice to her but try detaching from her if you really do dread being her "best" friend. --But please don't tell her to leave you alone--imagine if one of your best friends tells you that they don't want to hang out with you just as much anymore...Wouldn't you be hurt? I know I would.

If you really just want to get away from her, don't tell her, but try to slowly detach. If she passes you in the hallway, smile & wave. Don't keep leading her on, because eventually, you'll explode on her, and she will be extremly hurt.

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Okay the past days I've been thinking about this. There is this one guy that I REALLY like but I don't know whats better having a frienship with him or have a relationship with him. I don't really know whats better. He likes me but my fear is that I might someday lose him and I don't want to lose him NEVER want to lose him. So I need you guys some help here.

You should have a relationship with him because if you don't, you're always going to wonder what would've been.
"I don't want to lose him NEVER want to lose him" --Well, that seems almost near to impossible right? I mean, assuming you're a teen, you're going to want to have plenty of relationships before you find "Mr. Right". I think what you mean is--You don't want to get hurt. Well I'm sorry to tell you this, but sometime in your life, you're going to get hurt eventually.

Anyway, back to your question, you should go out with him. Take a risk & you never know what may happen. Who knows? He may be the love of your life OR he may just be a guy that passes through your life and makes you stronger.

I hope everything works out!

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oaky...Well I will start out like this, well there's this boy and he lives with me four days out of the week,and it kind of seems like he takes over a lot of things like usally i am the one that stands by the cart being able to talk to my mom and then when he comes I am the one standing in the back and he is the one that is getting all the attention and its not fair.... it seems like he takes over everything like my sister and my dad. because like my sister is way nicer to him and my dad is always doing stuff with him... And he makes me cry every night because everytime i need to talk to my parents he's there buddin into the conversation and i can't barely talk to anyone about the way i feel because he's always around and I dont want to tell my friends and family about him in front of his face well all i am asking for is some good advice so even if its bad but you tried I will give you a five

Luv Brittany PLEASE PLEASE answer because I need halp : (

Just a friendly suggestion =) : Try punctuating more next time (It was hard for me to read and keep up with what you were saying.)

If I were you, I would tell him nicely at first. Don't be afraid to! If you're too scared to tell him to back off, then how would he know that he's bothering you? Tell him to stop butting in, and be polite when you are trying to speak to your parents.

Also, you said that he lives with you four out of 7 days, right? Well, talk to your parents when he isn't there.

Don't let him continue this--Right now, he doesn't know what he's doing. He doesn't know that this is making you angry. Tell him. Tell him. Tell him. It's the only way.
--or you could just ask him to move out. :)

Hope I helped!

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Hey everyone. Well for New Years me and my one friend want to get drunk. Well, not drunk with alcohol but like maybe a caffeine high...play it safe. What are some drinks that have a lot of caffeine in them or any other drinks that get you really hyper...almost as if you were truley drunk. haha Thanks for the advice!

Any Energy drinks:: ex: Red Bull
ICE TEA!!!
Any kind of soda..esp caffeinated ones: ex: Dr. Pepper, Cola
Coffee
Candy&Sweets

ANYTHING THAT IS SWEET!

PS:: If you are interested in joining an AWESOME club (AMAC), check out my site for more info!

lovelove

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Alright I think my friend is a cutter, But I'm not sure. I've never seen any cuts but she is always wearing long sleeves. How can I tell if she is? Are there other signs?


Well, for starters, don't jump to conclusions!
Make sure you know for sure that she cuts..or else you'll go too far and hurt her feelings.
Maybe you should straight out ask her. (Maybe she'll lie..maybe she'll tell you the truth.) Confront her about it and ask her why she always wears long sleeve shirts. (Then again, it is WINTER..and it's really cold outside!)

If you confront your friend and you think she's lying...let it go..(for a while) and see if her behavior changes in anyway (Is she depressed, moody, scared?)If you do notice scars on her arms/legs..ask her where they are from.

Here's what to do if your friend is cutting:

Understanding why a friend may be cutting allows you be supportive. The first thing to do to help your friend stop (if she is cutting) is to be realistic about what you can accomplish: As with any damaging behavior (such as alcoholism, drugs, or eating disorders), some people just may not be ready to acknowledge their problem and stop. So don't put too much pressure on yourself - your friend's problem could be a long-standing one that requires help from a professional (therapist).

If you find out for sure that she cuts, here are the steps to take:
*Talk about it.
*Tell someone!
*Help your friend find resources (therapist)
*Help your friend find alternatives to cutting.
*Acknowledge your friend's pain.

Also, no matter what...don't judge her.

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I don't even know if I should be worrying about this...but I've been at a new public middle school for four months now. I have eight friends that I hang out with, and the rest are people I say "hi" to. I'm a really shy person, and I know that's part of my problem. How do I get those people that I just say "hi" to as my true friends? And I'm afraid that I ever try to hang out with these friends they'll think I'm weird or something. I keep getting nervous that I'll never really gain these true friends. I don't want to be forever that new girl that nobody knows or cares about. Please help, I rate fives.

OK..well for starters..start ACTING confident..and more outgoing. Smiling is the key. If you ever see your friends/people you say hi to in the hallway, smile..and say Heeeyy!..(Hi sounds too boring) If you see something that they are wearing that you like, compliment them! Flattery can go a long way.
Maybe if they are going in the same direction as you are, walk with them. Start a conversation..Even if you aren't interested in what they say..pretend you are! Be friendly and you've got your work cut out for you.

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I am a 20-year-old woman and have a friend of eight years whom I'm trying to break it off with. She calls me her "best" friend but lately I've realized I don't even like her -- I mostly stay with her out of habit. I mean, she is an okay person and I wish her the best, but I'm not especially fond of her and I'm tired of having to support her and let her cry on my shoulder all the time (this happens a lot, as she has a rough life and some issues with depression and cutting). She also has a tendency to get angry over very small things, and after I had to apologize for the 100th time for making some little remark which would not have offended anyone but her, I realized I didn't want to be friends anymore -- I am not getting enough out of the relationship for what I put in. I thought I could "lose touch" with her and the relationship could die a natural death, so I've avoided her for a month, not returned calls and so on. But she has come to me and demanded to know why I am acting this way.

If I tell her the truth -- that I'm not angry but don't want to talk her -- she'll never believe that. If I tell her I don't like her behavior (getting mad so easily etc), she will apologize and promise to change, I will get softhearted and forgive her, then after a few weeks she'll get mad at me again for no reason and round and round we go. (I know because this has happened before.) How do I resolve this without (A) deeply hurting her or (B) leaving me stuck in a friendship that does nothing for me?

I think you should advise her to get a therapist or something..so she won't have to lean on you all the time. I understand you may be annoyed of her..but there's no way you can ditch her without hurting her feelings.

I guess you could change your phone number and avoid her completely and pray you don't run into her-ever.
You could introduce her to a guy..maybe that will cheer her up and make her less dependent on you.
OR if you really don't care..straight out tell her that you're getting really sick of all this whining..just don't give in. Maybe tell her over AIM/email so you won't have to face her "sorry" look.

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my friends' mother isn't the nicest person in the world, she's verbally abusive and just slapped her across the face..now my friend is considering running away and i think she's overreacting..but i really don't know. is she overreacting? what should i say to convince her to stay? ..or what?

No, no your friend should not run away. I think she should get help and start talking to a counselor or something. Her mom needs to get help. Get someone to talk to her and tell her that slapping her daughter (unless it's for a VERY VERY good reason) is not the best way to teach someone a lesson or prove something. Running away will only make things worse..if her mom catches her, don't you think her mom is going to slap her and abuse her again? The only thing to do is to get help and tell your friend to talk to someone..it's the only thing she can do.

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so i have a low confindence level.its like am afraid of popular kids in my school and i kind of want to be one .but i dont think i belong with tem .i like to watch them and know wats going on in their lives.what is wrong here.

OK..i know like tons of people have said this..but i'm gonna say it again..you think you know what's going on..but trust me you don't. I was in your position once..watching from afar and it seemed like so much fun! but then i became friends with them and there's so much more to smiles..maybe you just want to be like them..and have a fun life..well, you should at least try! join a group/club and even if you aren't confident..ACT confident..because I am def. NOT CONFIDENT and sometimes you just have to act like it so people won't think you're a wuss..ahah so just try it and i know it'll work!

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I am thirteen and I am relatively short for my age (4' 11") and I'm not really pretty.
At my summer camp, there's a group of high schoolers around 14 to 15 years old, and one of them is my age, but she looks 15 and she is extremely pretty. I want to be accepted by this group, but because I look younger they treat my younger. This girl who is my age is nice and tells them that I'm the same age as her, but it doesn't change their mind. It's like the elite group: is it even worth it? They have the most fun and they are really tight and I want to be a part of that.

It doesn't matter if you're short! I'm not even 15 and I'm barely 5'0...If you want to be pretty then just apply some makeup on..(but not too much or it'll melt and smear with the sun during camp) Straighten your hair or put it up in a cute bun. I know some people may tell you that it doesn't matter if you're not pretty and that you don't need to be in a group like that and that they should accept you for who you are..but I know how you feel..just like slowly hang out with them and they will see just what an awesome person you are! You don't have to be pretty to have friends..just start hanging out with one or two of the girls in that group and they'll introduce you to the other girls. Hope I helped! xoxo

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