mn731's advice column | Main Page

home view feedback ask questions add as friend advicenators

Gender:

Female

Location:

TEXAS

Occupation:

Student

Age:

19

Member Since:

March 15, 2005

Answers:

304

Last Update:

September 12, 2009

Visitors:

30339

Favorite Columnists

Main Categories:

Fashion and Styles

about

Heyyy, I'm Mary:)
I've been on here for over four years--Ask me anything, and I'll try my best to help you out. :)

Alpha female, always tries her hardest, analyzes the situation too much, overthinks what the other person says, tries to please others, stresses easily, high achiever, loooooves to laugh. I'm still learning the facts of life, but I can always share my mistakes and lessons learned. :)

I'm always willing to listen/lend a helping hand. Inbox me and I will be sure to get to you as soon as I can.

♥ ♥

advice

If I go to Texas A&M and I'm in a sorority (hopefully Zeta Tau Alpha or Delta Gamma!!)..am I required to live in the sorority house?

I think that would be alot of fun but I have plans already to get a house off campus for my sophomore year in college.

So I was wondering if maybe I could live in the sorority house my first year and then move out but still be in the sorority..?

Does anyone know anything about that?

I know its different at all colleges, so if anyone knew exactly for Texas A&M, that would be great!!

You can't live in the sorority house until your second year. Usually, you are suppose to live in the house your sophomore year, but my friend goes to TAMU and she got her dad to call and request that she does NOT live in the sorority house. I would personally see how rush goes first...it's pretty intense, and you might not get the one you want, even if you are a legacy. Plus, you have TWO years...trust me, THINGS change...you will make new friends and you might end up going a different route than you planned.

Wasn't the WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment) called the WWF or something at one point? What was that all about?

"In 2000, the World Wide Fund for Nature (also WWF), an environmental organization, sued the World Wrestling Federation. The Law Lords agreed that Titan Sports had violated a 1994 agreement which had limited the permissible use of the WWF initials overseas, particularly in merchandising. Both companies used the initials since March 1979. [14] On May 5, 2002, the company quietly changed all references on its website from "WWF" to "WWE", while switching the URL from WWF.com to WWE.com. The next day, a press release announced the official name change from World Wrestling Federation Entertainment, Inc. to World Wrestling Entertainment, Inc., or WWE..."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_Wrestling_Entertainment

A kid at school really dosnt talk at all.even when questions are asked.I would like to be his friend.at lunch he sits at a bench and twidles his thumbs and has his head looking at the ground.he seems abused and or lonley.sat with him many times before and invited him to sit W/ me and asked his name and told him my name even.what should i say and do? please help me make his life a little better.i am 13 years old a male

wow, i am so impressed with your character. alot of kids your age would probably just tease him or worse, see him and completely ignore him.
he is probably really shy and might have personal problems. he probably needs a friend to lean on and someone he can trust to confide in. try to get to know him and you will be surprised with how much you can learn from him.
though he might seem like a shell at first, he's probably insecure and questionable as to why you want to be his friend.
if you do become more than acquaintances, offer him positive encouragement and make sure to let him know that you are there for him if he needs anything.
just start by smiling and ask him about his interests. get to know him first and he will start opening up more. :)

16/f

Ever since I could remember I always had a low self esteem..I care about what everyone seems to think or say about me and I worry constantly about what is being said about what I do or how I act..I hate having low self esteem because it ruins everything. I can't wake up and not care about what people think about me and I can't stand up for myself . I'm too nice and I let everyone walk all over me. I want to learn how to build my self esteem and how to stop caring about what everyone else has to say about me ..not only that but I want to be able to stand up for myself in any situation can some one please tell me how?

i had this same problem, and sometimes i still do. i think most girls can agree with me on this that we all have self esteem issues, especially with society's pressures to be thin and beautiful. not just girls, but guys too! it may seem like you're alone, but you're not. most people don't voice their self esteem issues and they act cocky or bring others down to make themselves feel better. honestly, it's all apart of growing up and discovering who you are.
i can't give you a definite answer as to how to have really high esteem, because i am personally working on that myself. it's so hard when you're comparing yourself to the really pretty girl next to you or that girl on the magazine.
but what i can tell you, is that you attract everything towards you. if you're feeling bad about yourself, and you just complain about all the bad things in your life, what will result from that is more negativity--you're just making yourself feel worse.
the solution is to think positive thoughts and reach for what you want. if you want better self esteem, look at yourself. what do you want to improve? is it acne problems? is it weight problems? find out what is bringing you down and work towards a solution.
the most important thing also, is to smile. smiling attracts people to you and radiates a positive, friendly vibe.
look at yourself, and tell yourself that you are beautiful and examine all the great qualities you have about yourself.
also, i have heard that excercise helps too :)
even though running on that treadmill sucks at the moment, don't you feel good afterwards knowing you have completed a workout?

so smile, and think positive thoughts :) work towards your goal and i mean, REALLY, work on what you want to improve. working towards your goals and actually acheiving them will result in higher self esteem and greater confidence in yourself. :)

Please Help!!
I am a girl and I am 13 and I have two really good friends but they are mad at me and they dont even have a reason to be. At school they are just ignoring me and doing really mean stuff and one of the girls is my BEST BEST friend!!
I am so sad and confused I have no idea what to do at all!!
please tell me if i should just stay away or ignore them or try talking again and what should I say!? i dont want to appoligize becuase i am always the one appoligizing and this time it would be for nothing even though they want me to! It sucks i just feel like moving schools I have other friends but those are my best friends
Do you know what I should do?
PLEASE answer I need ADVICE!!

--SOconfused

obviously they are being really immature if they are ignoring you for no reason. honestly, they are probably backstabbing you--and that's not best friend material. that's such middle school drama...if you did nothing wrong, and they are ignoring you for no reason, it's their deal. they are just trying to create more drama to make themselves feel superior to others, and especially you since they know you well enough to know that you are vulnerable to that kind of situation.
i personally would hang out with other people and find new friends who treat you right. your supposed "best friends" are treating you like crap, and that's not how friendship works. you will make so many new friends in your life..don't let stupid attention craving people set you back.
you can try to talk to them about it and get a real reason as to why they're upset and ignoring you, but if they go on to treat you badly, it's not worth your time.
they know how they are making you feel...is that what friends do? do real friends set out to make you feel like your worth nothing? no.
trust me, middle school drama is just about a waste of your time and energy...no need to waste your life away being sad. find new friends who will treat you better. :)

okay this may be a stupid question but i was trying to figure out my class rank and all i did was divide my position by the number of students right? i mean i don't know how else to figure it out. But i got that i was in the top 5% of my class and that didn't seem right. So my rank is #28 out of 488. So does that mean I'm in the top 5%???

You are in the top 6% of your class.
28 divided by 488 is 0.0574 and that multiplied by 100 is 5.74%.
Great job on your academic performance!

there's this girl i like but she didn't kno that well till an accident happened. started when i was writing a poem for her. i was done and hid it in my desk till the right time. but then i forgot about it. after a couple of days i was looking for it. i asked my best friend if he seen it and then when i pulled out my books the paper fell out. he grabbed it and read it. i told him i was going to give it to her but i was too shy. so he did it for me but i didnt want him to do it. so right before it was given to her i snatched it away and threw it in the trash. i walked away then some how some one gave her the poem. i didnt see what happened cause i was too embarrassed. the girl i liked kind of smiled but she freaked out so i dont kno if she likes me. after that my classmates started making fun of us and embarrassing us and i kept getting the feeling that i made her life a living hell. i want to apologize but i aint got the gut to do it. well i was going to say sorry at a dance were having at february but i heard it got moved to april. so then i sent her an e mail but pretty soon every one knew so they all suggested that i should ask her out. i want to but i dont want to make things worse but could be my only chance for her fogiveness. well i could apologize at the dance but she could avoid me. i could ask her out but im too shy and scared she might get mad or something. what should i do???

what do you have to apologize for??
so she found out you like her...it's human nature to have feelings for somebody and it's only natural for it to come out one way or another. though the way in which she found out was not as planned, you wanted her to know in some way or another because you wrote that poem for her.
honestly, just let her soak it in. she might be freaked out and be totally awkward around you--if so, that's her problem. there's nothing you can do about because you didn't do anything wrong. if she's receptive towards you, then definitely ask her out.
if she gets mad at you, then she's absolutely not worth your time...it's so childish to be mad about something as small as this. if anything, she should be flattered.
why say sorry at a dance? why say sorry at all? just give her time and then talk to her about it if you're comfortable with the situation. it will play out by itself and if things don't work out, people will forget in a couple of weeks, i promise!

Ok So I know that college have a fee for applying to their college, but my friend found this site called zinch.com. It has this college application wizard called college zapps but the cost is only $5 an application. Does that mean that I don't have to pay the application fees from the schools themselves or not.

Don't do it! Alot of sites try to take your money. Just do what the application process tells you to do. If you don't have enough money, see if you could be exempt from paying the fees.

I have dated one guys for 5 years now an he has cheated on me 17 times. I moved out from his house an now i live with someone i really get along with. Everytime i try to break up with the other guy he begs me not to do it that he will change. Please i need so advice on how to tell him i dnt want him no more

Ok so if you take him back again, he's controlling you. He knows that you're easily taken advantage of and he wants to keep that power. Don't give him that satisfaction! No matter how hard it is or how convincing he is...break up with him!!! If he cheated ONCE...just MAYBE i'd understand if you took him back---you must really be in love then.

but 17 times? IT'S NOT WORTH IT! you deserve better. dumppppp him for good and don't ever talk to him again.

Hey I'm 15 years old, female. I'm getting confirmed in the catholic church in the fall, but i need to pick out a confirmation name. I want it to be named after a saint. I really like the name Roxanne, but I can't find any information about her. I also like the name Angelina, so can you please send me some information about them? Thank-you!

You shouldn't choose a name just because it sounds pretty. You should also look into the saint and what their story/history is. The website above is a pretty good website to do research.

Has anyone got a T-Mobile Contract Phone ?

I would like to know if you do, if you find T-Mobile a good company to use

i wanna buy a phone but T-Mobile only does it for Contract. I'm Currently on O2 and am happy with them but i am willing to change as i love this phone haha!

its the Sidekick Slide phone
anyone got any comments on the phone?

anyhelp on either the matters will be much appreciated :]

xxx

I have T-Mobile and the service is pretty well, although it is not the best. The majority of my friends have Cingular/AT&T and they are pretty satisfied with it. On a scale of 1-10, I'd say T-Mobile is a 6.5...

16/f. ok so i have this event tomorrow and i need to be superrr tan. well, at least not neon-white like i am. so anyways, does anyone know any ways to get get about 5-7 shades darker overnight?? i have tanning lotions like jergens, vasaline, etc. can i layer them or apply them numerous times tonight?? any info wud be appriciated..and spray tan arent an option right now..everyplace is closed. thanks!!

I can tell you that getting 5-7 shades darker right now without a spray tan...is not going to happen. Even if you layer all the tanning lotions together, it wouldn't work in one day because those are really gradual and it takes several days to fade in.

i really wanna learn how to do a cartwheel and a backhand springand flip, haha i sound so dumb but i really wanna learn, my problem is i cant really get my feet up high, can someone help? haha thank youu

You need to register at a gymnastics school and take tumbling classes. It's the safest way to learn how to do those flips with a trainer to spot you so you don't break your neck! I took tumbling for over a year, and I can tell you, that if I didn't have a teacher there to spot me, I wouldn't have even attempted those flips because they are pretty dangerous if you don't know what you're doing.

Hi I'm 15 and my best friend is in a relationship with a guy that doesnt go to our school, he just met me, and now me and him are friends, now hes adorable and a sweetheart, he is really nice, and I think I might like him, now I cant tell my best friend that I like him or it will crush her, she talks about him nonstop, and I am happy for her that shes in an awesome relationship, but I am extremely jealous and I have never been in a relationship so I feel really bad that she has the best guy I know and I have no one, Sometimes I cry myself to sleep because I feel like no one loves me, and when I first met her boyfriend he gave me a huge hug and I felt special but I know it was just a friendly hug, HELP me please I have no clue what to do!

Get over him please. Losing your best friend over a guy is stupid. Don't tell her that you like him. The reason he was so nice to you and gave you a friendly hug was probably because he wanted to be on good terms with his GIRLFRIEND'S BEST FRIEND. Stop yourself before its too late...I know what you mean when you say you feel no one loves you...but the time will come...and trust me, there are PLENTY of single boys coming your way.

whats the best brand of makeup?

I love love love Bare Escentuals-Bare Minerals...you can probably find it in your mall...although it is kind of pricey, It's the only makeup that doesn't make my skin breakout! It's soft and goes on very smoothe for a radiant, natural beauty!

Hi, my name's Rae. I'm 18 years old, female, and I'm of 100% Korean decent. I have the most amazing fiance, Christian. He's 19, male, and super Irish (He even has red hair!). Anyways, the point that I'm trying to get at is that we're obviously different nationality wise. We're in an interracial relationship and a lot of people seem to be bothered by it! I honestly don't understand what's so wrong with us. We love eachother and I don't think your ethnicity or skin color have anything to do with it. So, I was wondering what kind of opinions any of you have about this subject matter. All advice is welcome, but please be serious and honest. Thank you!

It doesn't matter what I think...what difference does it make to you---
Nothing.
You're in love with him...and that's all that matters. :) Who cares about what everyone else says. As long as YOU'RE happy, you shouldn't care about what others think.

would anyone consider smoking marijuana a drug problem. Not heavy smoking like everyday. but like maybe a few joints a month. they can go without using it for a a few weeks, so yeah, is it a drug problem? thanks a bunch y'all :D

No, I don't think it's a drug problem. In the eyes of the government though, because it is illegal, they would consider it a drug problem. I personally don't think it's a big deal if a person smokes every once in a while. Yeah, if they smoke it constantly and can not go a day without doing it, then yes, it's a problem...but a couple joints every now and then isn't really a big deal!

I'd like to join Gold's Gym but I have no idea how much money it would be. I'm 16/f if that helps? Can someone tell me the estimate for GOLDS gym per month? 6 months? year? I don't want to call because I've tried to before and it's just confusing. Just the best deal.. what you pay if you go to Gold's?

I really don't recommend it. I started reading reviews on Gold's gym--all negative!
http://www.consumeraffairs.com/health_clubs/golds.htm
(There are a few random reviews of Goodyear tires in there..I don't know why..but the majority of reviews are for Gold's gym.) I get the impression that Gold's Gym is unsanitary and all they do is take your money.
However, if you still want to join after all the bad reviews..and you don't care if the gym is unkept and money-hogging, you can call them and ask for their pricing. I went to their website:
http://www.goldsgym.com/gyms/page.php?gymID=0055&sec=3559&cid=1268
and I couldn't find a pricing list for their different types of memberships.
I know you don't want to call, but that's your best bet for an accurate pricing instead of asking strangers on a website that don't even go to this gym.

Ok heres the thing I am almost eighteen and Im so shy that I can hardly or never have been able to talk to a guy without hittin a beamer basically. This is due to embarrassment for them incase anyone sees them talkin to a girl that looks like me.
To describe me I have a button nose, I am big boned my hair never stays straight long and I hate myself infact the only thing I like about myself is my eyes but guys dont fall for eyes do they?
I know this will prob sound sad to most but I need tips any tips you can give on how to be a little less shy and insecure.
Thanks for any help you can give.
soz its long.
lxx

In order to be less shy and insecure, you have to be more confident. From what I can tell, you are not confident in yourself. I know this is so cliche, but everyone is beautiful in their own way. Guys do fall for eyes :)..and button noses aren't bad! Use a straightener for your hair..wear a little makeup (but not too much..you don't want to look like a clown!) Smile more :) Smiling really makes a difference in the way people perceive you. Be confident in yourself. Love yourself..because right now, you don't sound like you love yourself. I know it's not as easy as it sounds..but grow to love yourself. No one wants a negative, person that hates themselves.

Here's a website for makeup tips: http://www.makeuptips.org/

Honestly, just learn to be happy with yourself because bitterness is ugly. I'm not saying you're bitter, but you could turn into a bitter person if you keep feeling this hatred for yourself. I'm sure you are not as "ugly" as you make yourself out to be. I bet I could find another thing besides your eyes that are just as gorgeous. :)

Once you achieve self-confidence, you will overcome that shy quality (which isn't always a bad thing!) Trust me, self-confidence is everything.

it seems like im always left out of things that my friends do. whenever they have sleepovers and stuff, or if they go to movies, im not invited.
it really stinks because a lot of my really close friends dont go to my school, and i dont see them as much as my school friends. sometimes i ask them if they want to do something or go some where.
its just that i always feel left out and stuff..
what do i do??

You could try to make yourself included by saying "Oh hey, can I come?" But after many tries, if they still make you feel left out, they're not really your friends to begin with. You can't control if they invite you or not. This isn't about you, it's about THEM. It's their choice, and if their choice is to leave you out of planned activities, it's their loss. High school is like that...Thank God I only have one more year.

<<< Previous Advice Column

Next Advice Column >>>