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Friends and advice
A kid at school really dosnt talk at all.even when questions are asked.I would like to be his friend.at lunch he sits at a bench and twidles his thumbs and has his head looking at the ground.he seems abused and or lonley.sat with him many times before and invited him to sit W/ me and asked his name and told him my name even.what should i say and do? please help me make his life a little better.i am 13 years old a male
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Maybe give some free advice about: School?
It's great that you're reaching out to this kid. I think it's very nice of you, especially at such a young age. You sound like a really nice kid.
As far as talking to him, he's obviously very shy. Start off slow. Maybe this will help?:
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From there:
1. Compliment them.
- If they're wearing a nice pair of shoes, or some cute jeans, tell them. Let them know you like their shoes, and then ask where they got them. After that, ask if they're comfortable or something. Don't be annoying about it, but take interest in the person you're talking to, and hopefully, chances are they'll show interest back.
2. Find something you have in common.
- If they're wearing a band shirt, and it's a band you like, tell them! For example, say they are wearing a Rocket Summer shirt, say to them, "I see you have on a Rocket Summer shirt, do you like his music?" Then, after they answer, tell them your opinion on the band/artist.
3. Talk about your surroundings/where you are.
- Say it's after class and the person next to you is getting up to leave. Walk out next to him/her and comment on the class. Say something like, "That was kind of an interesting lesson." or "Was it just me, or was that lecture kind of boring?" or, if you're sitting outside on a bench, and somebody is sitting next to you, make a comment about the weather or where you are.
4. Make a joke!
- There's no better way to make friends with somebody than to make them smile/laugh. BUT don't make a joke about another person, it will make you look bad AND potentially hurt another person's feelings.
Good luck! And if you need any more help, send a question to my inbox :)
-Laura (17-f)
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that is a good thing that you notice he may be up set. why dont you ask him if he would like to hang out sometime out side of school or something.
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It's really great that you are sensing his depression and are wanting to help him. When you invite him to sit with you at lunch, does he accept and come sit with you?
The issue with people like him in school is that he's probably used to jerks messing with him. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. People just messing around asking him his name, asking him why he doesn't talk, asking him if he's a mute. People just do that in school and I haven't an idea why.
You need to make sure that he knows you're not just messing around with him or trying to embarrass him. The best thing to do, if you're not already, is approach him alone. If you approach him with five of your friends, he's more likely to think that you guys are just trying to get a good laugh from acting like you want to be his friend.
Also, observe him a little (very sneakily) and try to distinguish what he's into. If he's wearing a Metallica shirt, it's a good indicator that he likes Metallica. If he's listening to an ipod, you can sit down next to him and ask what he's listening to. If he draws a lot, ask him if you can see some of his drawings.
Basically, try to find something, anything, that you have in common with him. If you like the same music, sports, or hobbies; you'll have some common ground to start from. A lot of friendships are built on common interest, so try hard to find some.
If you see someone messing with him, stand up for him. He'll know that you're willing to stick your neck out for him, and he may start trusting you more. So if you're in class and someone is making fun of him, tell the person to mind their own business or bugger off.
Also, you should go about these things casually. If he sees that you're making an attempt to be his friend, that's good. But if he feels like you think of him as some sort of specimen to observe and figure out, it will probably just make him angry. So just act with him like you act with the rest of your friends.
Darby(:
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wow, i am so impressed with your character. alot of kids your age would probably just tease him or worse, see him and completely ignore him.
he is probably really shy and might have personal problems. he probably needs a friend to lean on and someone he can trust to confide in. try to get to know him and you will be surprised with how much you can learn from him.
though he might seem like a shell at first, he's probably insecure and questionable as to why you want to be his friend.
if you do become more than acquaintances, offer him positive encouragement and make sure to let him know that you are there for him if he needs anything.
just start by smiling and ask him about his interests. get to know him first and he will start opening up more. :)
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